Riptide
by samekraemer
Summary: Jasper Whitlock went to college. He took a job at the bookstore on campus as part of his work/study program. He didn't expect to meet his old swim coach at that bookstore, and he had no idea how his college life would play out. Seeing Edward Cullen again sent him into a riptide he never expected. Swimming against it might take him down, but if he swam with it?
1. Chapter 1

Slash…this is a slash stories with non-canon couples. Rated NC-17 for the reasons of language, adult situations, violence, rape, and heartbreak. You've been warned. Jasper/Edward. JPOV.

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1. Swim Coach

I was stocking textbooks, _Elements of Architecture: From Form to Place_ by Pierre von Meiss, when I noticed a couple standing in the aisle. She had a list in her hands and was picking up books left and right, not returning them to their proper place. Based on the posture of the man with her, he was completely bored.

In order to head off the disaster the woman was creating on the shelves, I got up from my knees and walked down the aisle to offer my assistance before she caused enough damage to require me to have to stay late to reorganize the entire section.

I walked up to her and pecked her on the shoulder, seeing her look at me in confusion. Why she was confused I didn't know because I was wearing a fucking t-shirt with the bookstore logo on it, and on the back of it, one of the fucking idiots who ran the place not-so-cleverly had "Event Staff" screened on for the first week of school. Being a freshman on work/study sucked.

"Can I help you?" I asked her. She got a shitty look on her face and laughed sarcastically.

"I don't know? Are you able?" _Smug bitch._

"Excuse me. _May _I help you before you destroy this entire aisle and I have to stay here all night to clean up the mess you're making with your inability to return the book to the proper slot from which you pull it?" I articulated to the bitch.

I heard a muffled chuckle from the side, but I could tell she was pissed, so I didn't dare look away from her. "Well, um, _Jasper_, I'm looking for _Documenting Software Architectures: Views and Beyond_ by Paul Clements, Felix Bachmann, _et al._ The bookstore doesn't seem to carry it, even though when I looked it up on the website, it said there were new and used copies. Is this something I have to beg and plead for from the," she looked at the back of my shirt and then sarcastically continued, "_Event Staff_?"

The guy chuckled again, and I turned to glance at him over my shoulder, seeing a face forever burned into my brain. It couldn't be him, though, right? He'd moved to California a long time ago. But, God, it looked like him…well, from what my fifteen year old brain could conjure for my eighteen year-old self.

He was gorgeous. He was tall. Back then, he had a swimmers build, and considering he was the swim coach at the local pool when I was a kid, I'd spent two summers admiring his half-naked body so I knew it well. The face was the same. The body, however, wasn't. It was much more muscular, and Jesus fuck, he was hot.

I felt two fingers snap in front of my face, and I turned to the less-than-patient woman who was his companion. Seeing the total disdain on her face, I actually smiled at the bitch. I pulled out the tablet we all carried around and looked up the book seeing we did, indeed, have it in stock…only not in the aisle in which she was looking.

"We do have several new and used copies of the book," I began before she threw up her hands and turned on me like a she-wolf.

"Oh, really, Einstein? Where the fuck would they be hidden?"

"Aisle nine," I announced.

"Aisle nine? What, do you need some sort of GPS device to find the fucking books? Is there a map?" she snapped. I took in her blonde hair and blue eyes, and I guess if you were into that sort of thing, she was hot with her fake tits and all, but that disposition? Fuck, I'd become a priest before I dealt with that shit on any consistent basis.

I took a deep breath and looked around, seeing him smiling like he knew exactly what I was about to say she just needed to go to the Computer Sciences aisle. "Data architecture is part of the curriculum under Information Technology Management, which I assume is what you're studying, though I wonder how that GPA is going for you."

He cracked up and had to hold onto the shelf to keep from falling on the floor. I was holding it in as best I could, but the look on her red face was something to behold. It was one that, if looks could kill, I'd have dropped into a funeral pyre right there in front of Ancient Architecture.

"Fuck you, Cullen, and you, _Event Staff_," she snapped as she stormed off in the high heels she was wearing. Surprisingly, hot guy, whom she'd just confirmed was Edward Cullen, stayed next to me and continued to laugh.

When he finally came around and stopped laughing, he dried the tears in his eyes and looked at me. "I know you, don't I?"

I chuckled. "I'm not sure if you remember me. You coached the Forks'…" I began.

"You're Jasper…uh, Rosalie's little brother. Hale, right?" he asked.

"Actually, my dad didn't adopt Rosalie. We're half-brother and sister. We have the same Mom. My last name is Whitlock. I was a Squid."

He nodded. "That's right. You were on the last swim team I coached before we moved to LA. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. So, you're going to school here now? Are you on scholarship?" he asked, glancing at my shirt.

I laughed. "I wish. No, I'm on work/study. I didn't like Mike Newton, the guy who took over the team the next summer, so I didn't join the team and I didn't swim for the school team. I've got a partial academic scholarship, and I work here for my room and board. You go here?" I asked like a fucking moron.

He laughed a little. "Yeah. It's my senior year, but I'm going to stay for the master's program. Finance Major and Economics Minor. So, what dorm are you in?"

"Hansee. I moved in last week so I'd be settled for this week. I'm still lost when I try to get around, but I only got lost twice today on the way to work, so it's a banner day for me. You?"

"I live in Blakely Village near University Village. I've got two roommates, a guy and that psycho you just bested. Good job, by the way. Not too harsh, but definitely impressive."

I felt bad for humiliating his girlfriend, but if she didn't realize the difference between _building architecture_ and _data architecture_, I truly had to wonder how she'd been accepted into the school in the first place. I thought they were pretty fucking selective in their admission process, but maybe I was wrong? Maybe it was a come-one, come-all situation?

"Um, thanks. I just, um, well, what's her major, your girlfriend?" I asked, because really? She seemed to be as dumb as a box of rocks.

"Heidi's a data security major when she goes to class. Trust me, she's not my fucking girlfriend. I'd never want anyone to get that impression. I'm just here to pick up my box. I ordered my books on-line, and I should have a box waiting for me." He smiled, and turned to see the woman clomping back. When he saw her, his smile faded.

I remembered Rosalie telling me about all the girls he dated in high school, and apparently, dumped. I could see why there was a trail of broken hearts behind the guy. He was really fucking hot in high school, and he'd only gotten better with age. If I was being honest, he was my first crush.

"I'll, uh, I'll get your box and meet you at the register," I offered, walking away without waiting to hear anything from the woman.

I found the box, and there was a note on top that it was missing one book, _Investment Banking: Valuation, Leveraged Buyouts, and Mergers & Acquisitions._ I took it to the desk and opened up a register, seeing a line forming.

I waited on three customers before Edward Cullen stood in front of me. His friend, Heidi, had already checked out and was waiting impatiently, and even though the two other lines were empty, he stood in my line.

I picked up the box and placed it on the counter, pulling the packing slip. I hadn't packed the box, so I opened it to confirm all of the books, save one, were included. When I saw they were, I initialed it, just as I'd been taught and presented him with the bill.

"You're missing one book, but…" I typed in the title and saw we were expecting deliver the next day. "It should be here tomorrow. I'll pull one and put your name on it. There's a waiting list for the next delivery, but sometimes, well, someone could get bumped down the list," I hinted. He was at the bottom of the list, but I was working the next day, so I had a little power…damn little, but he was my former coach, so I could do him a favor. That was what I was telling myself anyway.

He smiled the gorgeous crooked smile I remembered from back in the day and handed me his credit card. "I appreciate it. Do you get a coffee break? I could pick it up then and maybe take you for a cup of coffee, or bring you one if you tell me what you like," he offered.

_No, he's not asking you out, dumbass. He's repaying a debt. He's a Forks High legend for his fuckhound ways, and you're an idiot to think there's anything more to his invitation. _"You don't have to do that. Hey, you led us to the Clallam County Finals. I actually lifeguarded at the pool after being on the swim team, so I owe you a favor. We can call it even." I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice, but I wasn't sure he hadn't picked up on it.

"What time do you open tomorrow?" he asked as the woman paced impatiently by the door as I handed him the receipt, his credit card, and a pen.

"We open at seven every day until Wednesday which is when a lot of classes start. After that, we open at eight. You could, um, call the store and ask if the book came in. Sometimes, the deliveries aren't reliable, apparently. There's no need for you to make the trip all the way over here if the book isn't here. I mean, I have no idea what time the delivery will arrive," I offered. _Nice attempt at a selfless act, asshole._

He smiled brightly and handed me his phone. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, so I looked at him, hearing bitching behind him. It was that Heidi woman, and she wasn't happy at all. "Um, what…I thought you'd just…" I began.

She grabbed the phone from me and leveled a look. "He's obviously asking you for your fucking number, numb nuts. What is it?"

I spouted my number to her, and she punched it in, taking my fucking picture in the process. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and when I pulled it out, I saw it was from an unknown number. I clicked on it to ignore it and looked at them.

She rolled her eyes. "That's his fucking number. Can we go now? I have a date, you know. Unlike you, I actually go out with people before I sleep with them," she complained.

He chuckled and grabbed the box. "I look forward to hearing from you…about the book. Have a good day."

The two of them left, and I was left…bewildered. _What the hell just happened?_

_##_

I was walking back to Hansee Hall later that afternoon when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I saw it was from Bella, so I clicked on it.

_Is there a 'get 2 know u' at Hansee? We're having 1 at Haggerty. Come over. B_

I didn't really want to go because I hated to meet new people, but Bella was my good friend, as was her roommate, Angela. We'd gone to Forks High together, and when I was forced out of the closet at nearly sixteen, they were the only two friends I had after the smoke cleared. Even the guy I got outed over, Riley Biers, didn't stick around.

Riley and I hung out during the Christmas break of my sophomore year after he'd been coming on to me since Thanksgiving, though it never went beyond kissing and me giving him couple of blow jobs. He did give me a hand job at a party on New Year's Eve, but after that, he didn't call me again. When we got back to school after the break, he pretended like he didn't know me, and when I tried to talk to him about it, he beat the shit out of me and called me a fag.

"_Get the fuck away from me, you faggot. I told you I'm not a queer like you."_

That was when his fist met my face, and I wasn't even touching him. All I'd asked him was if he wanted to come over to play _Call of Duty_ in front of some of his friends. I'd already told my parents I was gay, and we'd suffered through all the family drama about it because I actually thought I had a boyfriend. They were supportive, which surprised the shit out of me.

After his '_outting'_ of me in the cafeteria that day, I was an outcast and the subject of ridiculous teenage ridicule. I told my parents what was going on at school, after I came home a few times with blood on my clothes, which caused my father to actually threaten to go to the kids' homes to speak with their fathers. I begged him not to because it would only be worse, and he complied.

That was when Dad began teaching me how to fight when he was home. He was in the Army's Special Forces unit. When he was home, which wasn't very often, he spent time with me and taught me how to defend myself. When he was killed in a foreign country during a classified mission, he was buried with full military honors. It had only been three years, and it still felt like yesterday.

Mom cried hysterically, and I tried to be the man of the house, as my dad instructed every time he left, whether it was in the afternoon or the middle of the night. He never left without reminding me I was to take care of Mom and Rosalie, and he never left without telling me he loved me. I truly missed him.

_I have 2 work early 2morrow. Raincheck? J xo_

I felt bad about not going to the party in Bella's dorm, but I wasn't ready to immerse myself in college life, or that _type_ of college life, so I took a pass. I grabbed a book from my freshman reading list and opened it, settling to rest against the wall behind my bed.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a guy stumbled in, appearing to be drunk off his ass. He stumbled around the room and smiled at me before he politely puked on the floor. I sat up and looked at him, the fucker. "I'm not cleaning that up." I guess I should have said a lot of other things, but cleaning up a stranger's…yeah, that wasn't me.

He laughed hysterically as he fell onto the unmade bed across from me. "I'll get it tomorrow."

_Fuck! There's no way I'm going to be able to sleep in the room with that smell. I'm not cleaning that shit up, and I'm definitely going to lodge a complaint with the RA._

I hopped out of bed and got dressed quickly in clean clothes. I didn't want to go to a party, but I wasn't staying in my room either. Hopefully, Bella and Angela would let me stay with them. I grabbed my toothbrush and headed out after I hid my laptop under my mattress. If the fuck came in and puked on the floor without any concern he wasn't above stealing, I was sure.


	2. Chapter 2

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. I'll remind you this story is about boys falling in love with boys. There will be love, lemons, angst, violence, sexual assault, heartbreak, and (believe it or not) a HEA. If your squeamish on any of those matters, it's best if you don't continue.**_

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2. Benched

##

Bella saw me walk in, and she shrieked, throwing herself at me. She was completely hammered as she leaped into my arms. "Oh, Jaybird. I didn't think you'd come. Girls, this is Jaybird, our best friend," she called over my shoulder as I held her aloft like I had a choice.

I heard a lot of drunken chatter and while I didn't want to be there, it was better than my puke-covered dorm room.

Angela, thank God, peeled Bella off me and pulled me over to her side of their room, shooing Bella out into the hallway where the party was taking place. "Jasper, what happened?" Angela asked. At least someone was sober on the hall.

"My roommate, who I don't even know, stumbled into our room and puked on the floor. He said he'd clean it up tomorrow. I couldn't stay there tonight, and the RA wasn't in his room when I knocked before I came over. I hoped I could maybe sleep here, but obviously, you're in for the same kind of night if she keeps drinking. I'm gonna go. I'll sleep on a couch in the common room. Can I borrow a blanket?" I asked.

"Oh, Jaybird, you can have my bed. I'll try to contain her," Angela offered.

"It's fine. If I could borrow a blanket, I'll be fine," I told her.

She went to a plastic tub and grabbed a quilt and a small pillow. "These are clean, I swear. Mom sterilized everything. Get 'em back to me when you can. Sorry about this," she offered as she walked me out with her hand rubbing up and down my back.

I stood on the concrete sidewalk outside Haggerty Hall when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I walked over to a bench, seeing it was likely my best option considering Hansee Hall was likely just as rowdy as Haggerty so sleeping in the common room was probably a lost cause, and I laid out the blanket and pillow, reclining on my left side. Surely, campus security was used to finding students asleep on benches so I wouldn't be hauled in? I prayed as much.

I pulled out my phone and saw it was from the number I assumed was Edward Cullen's, so I clicked on the text.

_Hey Squid-How's party night treating you? Don't drink and drive. If u need a ride, call me. Edward_

Party night? So, apparently it was a _thing_ about which I wasn't made aware. I supposed it was a rite of passage, but it wasn't one I wanted to participate in. Though, when I looked at the bench I was prepared to sleep on, I realized I'd been forced into it. I didn't like it in the least.

_Not really fond of it. Roommate barfed on floor of dorm room. Best friend hammered. Had 2 find other accommodations of the outdoor variety, but I've been camping before. Hoping 2morrow is btr. Thx for asking. JW_

I pulled the blanket over me and settled my head on the pillow. I'd never anticipated being "homeless" at college on my fourth night on campus, but I'd guess it wouldn't be the only time I slept on a bench if the puker was my roommate. _That fucking RA better be around tomorrow because I was working for my fucking room and board. I wasn't tolerating that bullshit at all. _

##

My phone buzzed again just as I was dozing off. I pulled it up and looked at it. It wasn't a text. It was a call.

"Hell…hello?" I answered, not recognizing the number.

"Jasper? It's Edward Cullen. Where are you?"

I looked around, trying to get my senses about me. "I'm, uh, oh. I'm on a bench outside of Haggerty Hall. It's not bad, actually. Ang gave me a blanket and a pillow. It's not cold or anything," I responded, embarrassed I'd told him I was sleeping outside.

"I'm on my way. Walk over to the northside parking lot." The phone went dead without a response from me, so I tried to call him back. I was just hitting the redial number when I saw campus police approach me.

"Young man, you can't sleep here. Are you enrolled?" one of them asked me as he shined a flashlight in my eyes.

"I am, but my roommate puked all over the room," I explained. _Come on, nobody would want to sleep in that room._

"Uh-huh. And you chose the girls' dorm to sleep in front of? Move along or we'll give you a place to sleep," the other guy threatened.

I didn't hesitate to grab the blanket and pillow, heading to the northside parking lot. A silver car pulled up, and the door opened on the passenger side. I felt like a fucking nickel hooker as I bent over, but when I saw Edward's smile, I let that shit go.

I hopped into the car and closed the door with the blanket and pillow on my lap. "So you were going to sleep on a bench?"

"Like I said in my text, I've camped before. My roommate is a sloppy drunk, and one of my best friends is embracing college life more than I thought she would, considering her dad's the police chief in Forks, so I took matters into my own hands. If campus police hadn't shown up, I'd have been fine," I defended.

He laughed. "If you find yourself in similar positions in the future, just call me, Squid. I've got a couch."

I nodded and when we got to his place, I carried my blanket and pillow up the stairs behind him. He let me in and motioned toward the couch. "It's not great, but I'd bet it's better than that bench. Here's the remote. Help yourself. There's food in the kitchen."

I nodded. "Thanks, Coach," I called quietly as he ambled down the hallway.

He turned around and walked back into the room. "Jasper, I'm not your coach anymore, okay. Call me Edward." I nodded and he disappeared down the hallway. I lay down on the couch and tried to go to sleep but it was only ten o'clock, so I grabbed the remote and turned on the television, finding some fucking thing on the Discovery Channel about polar bears. I settled in to watch it, and I fell asleep. The couch wasn't bad at all.

"Right here on the fucking couch." That was what I heard before I felt a large weight on my legs. Apparently, my legs didn't register under the guy's ass as I pulled them away, and there was a light on in the kitchen so they should have seen me laying there.

It was Heidi and a man, and she was taking off her top, but his pants were down and, well, he was more than ready to go when she straddled him. I leaped up and tried to pull the blanket from under his bare ass, reminding myself to wash it before I returned it to Angela.

"What the fuck?" the guy asked.

"Who the fuck are you?" Heidi asked as she turned her bare torso to me.

"I'm, uh, nobody. Coach…Edward offered I could sleep here, but I'll, um I'm fine," I responded as I finally freed the blanket from under the guy's bare ass and hurried down the hallway to the bathroom. There was a bathtub in there, and well, it was still better than a bench, so I settled into it with the blanket under me to offer a little cushion.

My college career wasn't starting out very well. Though, if I was looking for a silver lining, it could only go up from there, right?

##

I heard peeing, and I was actually glad I'd drawn the shower curtain. I had no idea what time it was, but I wasn't about to make a sound. I heard the flush and the sound of the water brought on the urge to pee as well. _Shit!_

The curtain was whipped back, and Edward was standing there with a look of surprise on his face. He sat down on the side of the bathtub and looked at me with a smile. "Jasper, what in the name of heaven are you doing sleeping in my bathtub?"

"Um, _your_ bathtub?"

"Yeah. This is my bathroom. The other two have their own. This is mine. Last I knew you were on the couch."

_What to do…what to say?_ "Um, well, your roommate, Heidi, and her _date_ came in and proceeded to begin to have sex on the couch. When I woke up, I vacated the premises. This was the next best place aside from the hallway or a bench outside. If I wasn't worried about campus police I'd have left," I responded, embarrassed beyond belief.

"God, she's such a…okay, bring your things. You can sleep in my room. This has been a pretty shitty introduction to college life, hasn't it?"

I hopped out of the bathtub and followed him down the hall, settling the blanket on a leather couch in his room. I lay down, and decided to answer his question. "I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't really this. I really hope things get better."

I huddled my arm under the shitty pillow, actually grateful to have it, and I made a promise to myself to make sure I always had a bed to sleep in and a decent pillow to rest my head. I also need to thank him.

"Co…Edward, thank you. I mean, you didn't have to come rescue me, but thanks."

He settled into his bed. "Hey, anything for a fellow Squid."

I fell asleep, and while it wasn't like my bed at home, it wasn't half bad. Of course, I fell asleep to the sound of his steady breaths in the bed not four feet from me, but I still fell asleep. The dreams, well, that wasn't anything I could control. It was my subconscious, and I had no power to stop my mind's eye from picturing him naked, right?

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_**Poor Jasper! Things gotta get better…**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. There's a bit of violence in this chapter. It's of a sexual nature. It's not too graphic, and it's short. Just a head's up.**_

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3. One Squid to Another

##

I woke the next morning to the smell of coffee. I turned over, mindful of the couch, but I wasn't on the couch. I was in a queen-sized bed, resting my head on a very comfortable, plush pillow with the blanket Angela had loaned me clutched in my hands. There was a sheet covering me, but when I pulled it up and looked down, I was still in my jeans, thought the button was popped.

Edward walked into the room in a pair of shorts, no shirt, and wet hair which nearly had me hyperventilating. He turned to see me looking wide-eyed as I did up my jeans quickly. I wasn't sure why I was in his bed, and I wasn't sure what had happened the night before.

"I'm uh…did I get in bed with you?" I asked as I sat up praying to the heavens I didn't sleep walk.

He laughed as he pulled on a t-shirt. "Ha! I…No, you fell off that fucking couch, and I picked you up and put you in bed with me. I unbuttoned your jeans because I can only imagine how uncomfortable they would have been to sleep in. I didn't take advantage of you, if you're worried. It was truly a test."

"A, uh, a test? I…you should have just woke me and shoved me back on the couch. I'd have been fine. I'm a restless sleeper, so I'd imagine you didn't get much sleep," I offered for reasons completely foreign to me. Thankfully, I hadn't crawled in bed with him. Hell, if the campus police hadn't come around, I'd have slept on that fucking bench and avoided a lot of humiliation.

He sat down on the bed and looked at me as I huddled against the headboard, still holding the blanket Angela had loaned me like Linus. I knew I looked scared as hell, but he was my crush. You don't wake up in your crush's bed and not freak out. I'd defy anyone to do it.

"I'm fine. I didn't know how you liked your coffee, so I just brought it black. I mean, maybe you don't like coffee. Shit, do you want tea or…oh, we have hot chocolate."

He seemed nervous, which was a surprise to me. "No, coffee's good. Black is fine." I took the mug from the nightstand and took a sip, tasting it. It was really good, not like the crappy coffee I was used to at the cafeteria.

"This, um, this is good. What is it?" I asked as I took another sip, wishing to hell I had something other than coffee to talk to him about. It was then I worried about the time. I needed to get to work, and I had no idea what time it was.

I reached into my jeans, not finding my phone. "Shit. Did I leave my phone somewhere here? I need to get to work."

"It's just after six, so you're fine. Seven, right?" I nodded.

"I'll give you a shirt and you can shower here, if you'd like," he offered. As much as I wanted to thank him and decline his offer of a shower, I certainly knew my roommate wasn't up yet so that mess in my room was still there. I needed to get to work, so I took him up on it.

"I'd appreciate it. I'll, um, I'll wash your shirt and get it back to you as soon as possible," I responded nervously. Fuck, I wasn't sure I could get out of bed on steady legs.

He gently placed his hand on my leg from his perch next to me. What the fuck did that mean? Obviously, he was being the big brother in the relationship. Okay, I could work with that.

"Jasper, I'm not sure what's going through your head right now, but things are fine, okay? What time do you get off work today? When do your classes start?"

"I, uh, I'm working a double today. Classes start for freshman tomorrow. My first is Lit. It's at eight-thirty," I volunteered.

He smiled. "Classes start for everyone tomorrow. I have a seven-thirty seminar, which I really should have thought through, but I've had the professor before and I like her."

"Oh, um, I don't know anything about my professors. Well, other than what I read on the internet. I guess some of them will be hard to get used to, but I tested out of some things. Do you think that was a mistake?" I asked.

"Mistake? What kind of a mistake?"

"I mean, the Comp classes teach you how to do research, and I'm not sure if I should have tested out of them," I responded.

"You're worried about properly conducted research for writing papers?" he asked. I nodded.

"Well, you've come to the right place. I'm a whiz at research. You need any pointers or help, you just call me. As one Squid to another," he responded with a friendly smile.

I sighed, wishing it was more than just the connection of the swim team. _God, I wish it was more._

"Oh, thanks, but I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than deal with me. Anyway, that, um shower?" I really had to get away from him. My mind was becoming clouded with all kinds of images of things that would never happen, which consequently, was making my dick hard right there in front of him.

"Towels are under the vanity. I'll leave you a shirt on the bed. What are you going to do with that?" he asked, pointing to the blanket I was still clutching like a three-year old.

"It, uh, it belongs to my friend, Angela. I'll have to wash it and get it back to her, so I'll take it to work with me. I'll be out of your hair in a few minutes," I told him as I got up, tossing the blanket on the couch with the pillow.

I started around the side of the bed and kicked something, seeing it was my phone. I picked it up and found there was a text from Angela.

_Where'd u sleep? I went looking for u and couldn't find u. FYI – Bella puked all ovr our room, so I understand y u didn't go back 2 yours. I'll see u later at work. Ang_

I laughed and shoved it into my pocket. When I looked up, Edward was standing there looking at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Oh, that was Angela. My friend, Bella, puked in their room as well. I'll just, uh," I began, pointing toward the door.

Just as I was about to leave, he said, "Is she your girlfriend?" _Oh, fuck. How the hell do I answer that without turning bright red?_

I turned to look at him. "No. She's a great girl, but she's really not my type." That sounded vague enough. It wasn't that I was embarrassed about my sexuality, but I didn't really know him, and if he was as judgmental as some people, I really didn't want to find out. I was also worried he'd freak out because we'd shared a bed. I doubted a lot of straight guys wanted to find themselves in bed with a gay guy.

"So, what's your type?" he asked as he made the bed. _Tall, muscular, reddish-brown hair, bright green eyes. Yeah, that wasn't going to go over well._

"I, uh, I'm not sure what my type is; I just know it's not anyone I, uh, it's not Angela." I hurried out of the room before he asked anymore questions because I wasn't sure he wouldn't stop asking questions I didn't really want to answer.

##

I was in the stock room unloading boxes because I didn't have on my official "_Event Staff" _t-shirt so I couldn't be out on the floor. I really didn't care because I wasn't in the mood to deal with the general public. Too many things were clouding my brain, and I wasn't really sure how to sort them out.

_After I'd showered and pulled on a black t-shirt Edward had left for me on his perfectly made bed, along with the pillow and blanket I'd shown up with, I took my empty coffee cup to the kitchen. Edward was there with Heidi the Whore. She looked pretty fucking rough, that was for sure. _

_There were two other guys sitting there, neither of which was familiar. I stood at the entryway, not sure what to do. I dropped the blanket and pillow on a bench outside the kitchen, and the sound must have caught their attention because they all looked at me at the same time._

"_Well, who's the hottie?" a big guy asked as he shoved nearly an entire half a bagel into his mouth. He was pretty damn good looking, and I wondered if Edward had any ugly acquaintances._

_The other big guy, a Native American with long dark hair in a braid, looked up and smiled a bright smile. "Cute."_

_I felt my face turn bright red, and I walked over to the sink to rinse the cup, placing it in the top drawer of the dishwasher. "At least he's house-trained," I heard the Whore assess sarcastically._

"_Fuck off, Heidi. Jasper, this is my other roommate, Emmett McCarty, and this is Jacob Black. What exactly are you, Jake? I mean, besides a fucking mooch?" Edward introduced with a smirk at the guy with the long braid._

"_You're an asshole. So, Jasper, where are you from?" Jacob asked._

"_I'm, uh, from Forks. It's about four…" I began._

"_No shit? Hell, I might need to make a trip that way. Seems like a good place to…" Emmett began. Jake slapped him on the arm, and Edward shot him a dirty look._

"_Excuse them, Jasper. They're all assholes. Anyway, I coached the swim team in high school, and Jasper was a Squid for two years. We won all-county the last year I coached," Edward bragged._

"_What were your events?" Emmett asked._

"_Two-hundred meter breaststroke and four-hundred meter freestyle," I responded._

"_Were you any good?" Heidi the Whore asked as she smacked a piece of toast disgustingly._

"_Jasper won both events every time he competed," Edward replied as he sipped his coffee. I, however, was stuck in hell. All I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there._

_Jacob laughed. "What other strokes you good at?" Emmett and Heidi laughed with him, and I was fucking confused._

"_Fuck off, all of you. Come on, Squid, I'll let you out," Edward stated forcefully as he rose from the table. I waved good-bye to the three at the table, and went to the bench to retrieve my dirty shirt, the blanket, and the pillow._

_I hurried to the door and tried to open it to get the fuck out, but it wouldn't open. Edward walked up and turned the deadbolt, making me feel like a fucking idiot. "Jasper, don't mind them. They need other shit to worry about. They were just teasing you because they're all insecure. I'll stop by later to pick up my book._

"_Remember, if you get in a bind again, call me. We Squids have to look out for each other. There's a shuttle to take you back to campus at the bus stop. It's free. Have a great day," he responded with a fatherly squeeze to my shoulder. I didn't like it at all, but what the fuck was I going to do. I could pretend it meant something else until the cows came home, but I knew it didn't, and I wasn't about to have another Riley episode on my hands. The best thing to do was to avoid him. At least it was a plan._

"Jasper, there's a really hot guy at the front desk asking for you," Angela told me as she shook my shoulder, drawing me from the mortifying memory of the morning.

I turned to her and rose from my place on the floor. "Tall, good-looking with reddish hair?" I asked her, certain it was Edward.

"Oh, yeah. All kinds of dreamy," she sighed.

I walked over to the desk and picked up his book, handing it to her. "Do me a huge favor. Tell him you couldn't find me but you found this book with his name on it."

She looked at me like I was insane. "Ang, I don't want to…"

"Jasper, this isn't exactly the National Archives back here. How do I tell him I couldn't find you in the stock room?"

I thought for a minute. "Tell him I stepped out to make a delivery. He'll believe that. I just can't face him, okay?"

Thankfully, she took the book and looked at me. "Fine, but you owe me the story. He's gorgeous, and you're crazy for avoiding him."

I nodded, remembering she'd moved to Forks the year after Edward had moved to LA. Her father, a Methodist minister, was assigned to the local church, and she and Bella became good friends. After I was outed, she and Bella became my only friends, so I knew I could trust Angela with the story.

"Lunch is on me," I told her. She kissed my cheek and walked out without another word.

I went about my task of unloading the books from the earlier shipment, trying not to think about Edward Cullen. Mindless work seemed to be going in my favor, so I walked over to my backpack and grabbed my iPod, clipping it to the belt of my jeans and popping in the earbuds.

I was lost in the music and dancing a bit as I continued filling orders and packing boxes. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned to see Edward Cullen standing there with a smile on his face.

I pulled out the earbuds and looked at him. "Is there, uh, something I can do for you? Angela gave you your book, right?"

My hands immediately started sweating, and the visions of him backing me up against the metal bookshelves and kissing me senseless ran through my head unbidden.

He held up a bag. "She did. Thanks for pulling it for me. I just wanted to make sure my friends didn't make you uncomfortable. They're asses on a good day, and with the hangovers they were nursing this morning, I'm afraid they might have been a bit much to take on."

I didn't want to let on I was embarrassed about the past twenty-four hours and his friends were just the icing on the cake. I didn't know how to handle the feelings I had for him, so I shoved them aside, put a smile on my face, and put on my best 'I don't give a fuck' attitude.

"No worries. They weren't that bad. Trust me, I'm used to far worse. Look, you're nice to offer to help me out if I get in a bind again, but I'm fine. I'll get used to college life, and you don't have to be my big brother, Coach. I know how to take care of myself, and I'm used to it," I told him as I went back to work so I didn't have to look him in the eye.

"Jasper, I'm not trying to manage you, and I think I should…"

I turned to him and held up my hands in surrender. "Look, Edward, you and I don't have anything in common except for you being my swim coach, okay? I'm damn sure your friends wouldn't…well, my sexual preference probably wouldn't go over with you and your friends. I'm gay, and historically, when people find out, I don't hear from them anymore, so the best thing is for you and me to just forget we ran into each other. I mean, your classes likely aren't anywhere near my classes, and if I find myself without a place to sleep, I'll figure it out.

"I hope you don't think I was trying to put the moves on you when I was sleeping in your bed, but you moved me there, so it's not like I was trying to get you to switch teams. I lived through enough shit in high school about being gay, and I was hoping my college experience would be a lot more tolerant," I stated firmly.

"You're _gay?"_

_Dear God, Jasper Whitlock here. Why are you putting me through more sh…stuff like high school? I thought I suffered enough, but yet again? I'd appreciate it if you'd back off on this. I haven't had sex with anyone, so it's not like I'm sinning here. Please take it under consideration. Sincerely, Jasper_

I sighed heavily. "I'm gay. I swear I didn't perv on you while you slept. Just, please, don't say anything. Please go," I begged.

His mouth was open when we both heard, "Jasper Whitlock to the front. Jasper Whitlock to the front."

I didn't wait around for any comment. I hurried out of the room, seeing the line wrapped around the stacks, so I went to the front and opened the fourth register, which we rarely used. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Edward was hovering, and I prayed he'd just let it go and leave.

The next time I looked up he was gone, and I was fucking relieved. I steeled my mind, and my heart, that I'd not have the occasion to hear from him or run into him, and it was for the best. I was certain it was for the best.

##

I trudged back to Hansee at ten-thirty that night after grabbing a piece of pizza at the only stand open in the food court. My plan was to shower, eat, and pass out until I had to be at my first class, Literature, at eight the next morning.

When I took the elevator to the third floor, I walked down the hallway to my room, dreading every fucking step. I prayed to God that when I opened the door, the puke was cleaned up because I didn't want to have to clean it up, especially after the day I'd had. It was non-stop idiots, and I was thrilled I didn't have to work on Wednesday.

I shoved my key in the lock, and the door opened before I turned the knob. I was immediately pissed and fully expected everything I owned would be gone. I walked in and saw the dark blonde puker on his bed with his laptop resting on his stomach.

The sounds coming from it immediately alerted me that he was watching porn. It was only punctuated by the fact his hand was down his sweats. _God, why?_

I immediately turned my back and stood at the door. "Uh, dude, seriously?" _How fucking rude could you be?_

"Shit. Sorry, man. I didn't know if you were coming back or not. I'll, uh, I'll be back," he replied as he hopped up and closed his laptop, leaving me there alone. He went into the bathroom, which was where I wanted to go, so I sat down on the bed with my pajamas, waiting for the fuck to return.

After a few minutes, and I didn't contemplate what the fuck he was doing in there, he came back. His face was wet, and he was only wearing a towel. He had a muscular body, but there was something about him that just set me on edge.

"Jimmy Turner," he introduced, sticking his hand out. I had to live with the dick for nine months, so I decided to let go of preconceived notions and try to make friends.

"Jasper Whitlock. How bad was your headache this morning?" I asked, trying to remind him of the night before.

He smirked and dropped the towel without shame. I saw his cock, and I was grateful it wasn't hard. I looked at the floor and reached down to untie my shoes, ignoring him altogether.

"Look, man, I'm sorry about last night. It wasn't the best way to meet your new roommate. I cleaned the place today, and if I go out with friends and get drunk again in the future, I'll make sure to sleep with a trashcan nearby. It was shitty of me to run you out of here, and I won't do it again."

I glanced up and saw he was dressed, so I stood from my bed, clutching my pajama pants and a clean t-shirt. "Look, it's not that big a deal, okay? It just wasn't the best way to meet my new roommate.

"I think I should tell you I'm gay. If you don't like the idea of having a gay roommate or you have a problem with it, then I'll go to the RA and get reassigned," I offered, praying he'd run screaming from the room.

Unfortunately, he didn't. "Hey, dude, I don't give a shit who you fuck. You ever wanna give me a blowjob, feel free. A blow job is a blow job, regardless of who gives it," he surmised.

I rose from my bed and walked to the door, turning around to face him. "I won't be giving you a blow job, okay? I, uh, I'm not really out here at school, but I thought you should know," I told him. I hurried down to the shower room to shower and get ready for bed.

I fucking hated the communal shower, but I didn't have a choice in it. We had a toilet and a sink in our room, but if you wanted a shower, you had to go down the hall. It sucked a lot, and I immediately thought about Edward's bathtub where I'd attempted to sleep the night before. I wished to fuck I had that luxury in my shitty dorm room.

When I came out of the shower with a towel around my waist, I walked over to the bench upon which my clothes had been left, only to find they weren't there. I looked around and saw my roommate standing by the door with my clothes in his hands. He flipped the lock on the door and tossed my things on the floor.

"What, fag, my cock ain't good enough for you to suck?"

_God, this wasn't going to be good. _ I didn't want any trouble, and I certainly didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with the guy, but I definitely wasn't going to take any shit. "Jimmy, you don't want to start anything with me. I might be a fag, but I can definitely take care of myself. We don't need to start off like this. Just open the door and give me my things."

He laughed darkly. "Jasper, I think you're not going to get out of here without sucking my cock. I wasn't able to finish jacking off before you interrupted me. I think you owe me," he taunted darkly.

I whipped off the towel and stalked over to where he stood with my clothes at his feet. I grabbed my boxers and bent to put them on when he shoved me again and his knee met my right eye, knocking me on my naked ass.

I pulled on my boxers and looked up at him, the fuck. I felt the throb of my eye, but I didn't want to start any trouble. "I'm going to guess that was an accident. I'm not gonna suck you off, and you're not gonna touch me again, you understand," I snapped as I faced him without fear.

He seemed surprised, which was to my advantage. "Go talk to the RA and get yourself another room if you don't want to be my roommate. I'm not interested in you, but if it makes you uncomfortable to have me for a roommate, then by all means move. It makes no difference to me," I told him as I finished getting dressed. I reached up and flipped the lock, grabbing my things and heading back to our room without waiting for him.

I went to bed and fell into an exhausted sleep. College so far…sucked.


	4. Chapter 4

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

4. Leave Me Alone

##

A few days later, I was walking across the quad when I heard my name called. I turned to see Angela and Bella, who I'd been avoiding until my eye cleared up. I didn't want to tell them what had happened with my roommate because I was trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot? I had to hope that was the case.

I turned to the side and hoped the meeting could be short. "Where the fuck have you been? I've been calling you, jackass," Bella chastised.

I reached into my shirt pocket and pulled out my sunglasses, suddenly remembering I had them, and I turned to look at her. "I've been attending class, Bella. I didn't get any of your calls," I lied. Angela glared at me because I'd told her I fell and hit my face against an open desk drawer. My trying to hide the black eye only gave her more ammunition to speculate I'd been in a fight like she'd insinuated at work the previous day.

Bella reached up and jerked my glasses off, turning my face to her roughly. "Uh-huh. A drawer? Really, Jasper? I'm not stupid. What the hell happened?" she demanded.

"Fine. Some dickhead tried to steal my backpack. I decked him, but he hit back. He didn't get it, but he got one good punch in. Satisfied?" I snarled at her.

She reached up and gently brushed her fingers over my eye, causing me to wince. "Did you call campus police?"

_Fuck!_ "Uh, yeah. I gave them a description, well as best I could remember. Look for a guy about my size with dark hair and a broken nose. That's who they're looking for," I lied.

"God, Jasper. I'm so sorry. Do you think he targeted you because you're gay?" she asked. I was immediately pissed off because it wasn't like I wore a fucking sign, but honestly, my attacker did attack me because I was gay, so I couldn't be too mad at her.

"I have no idea. Do I swish my hips or something?" I asked as I walked away with an exaggerated gait. I kept on walking, leaving them behind me, both of them laughing hysterically.

I went to the library to do some research and work on homework. I didn't want to do it in my room, and why I didn't go to the RA, Felix, after it happened wasn't anything I wanted to explore. Jimmy hadn't done anything since the altercation in the shower room, and I was trying my best to believe he was just an asshole without much behind it. I hadn't hit him, but I'd beat him senseless if he tried anything else. I was resolved in that decision.

I saw a backpack hit the table in front of me, and considering the library was really fucking big and empty, I was surprised that some asshat sat down with me. When I looked up, I saw it was Edward. He looked pissed, and I wasn't sure why.

"I called you three times," he hissed at me.

I pulled out my phone and looked at my missed calls, seeing he had indeed called me three times and left three voicemails. My phone was on "silent" because I didn't want to talk to anyone. I'd been ignoring his calls because I didn't want to have the discussion with him regarding my gay status and his unnecessary desire to be a big brother to me.

"So?" I responded as I tossed my phone on the table and went back to my research. I didn't look up, and thankfully, he was on the right, so my black eye wasn't visible to him. I didn't want to explain that either.

"The least you could do is look me in the eye, Jasper. I thought we were friends," he snapped at me.

I laughed. "We're not friends, _Coach._ I appreciate the fact you feel responsible to help me ease into college life because you knew me as a kid, but I can take care of myself."

He fucking narrowed his eyes, taking in my bruised eye. "What happened to you?"

I took a deep breath. "I tripped over a pair of shoes and whacked my face on my desk in my room. I'm fine. No blood, no foul."

I turned back to my book and ignored him. Unfortunately, he didn't ignore me. "That roommate, what's his name?"

I was immediately defensive. I grabbed my shit and packed it up. "Look, my roommate is no concern of yours. He apologized for that night, and there's been no problems since. Things are fine, okay? Leave me alone."

I stormed out of the library and went back to my dorm room, thankful it was empty. I just wanted quiet. I just wanted to be left a-fucking-lone. Why didn't people get that?

##

Life was better. It had been three weeks since the issue with my roommate, and while I'd requested that one of us be reassigned, he seemed to be gone most of the time, so I was pretty sure I could deal with it if nothing came of my request.

I'd been working my regular shifts, which weren't bad after the initial onslaught with the start of school. I did more cleaning than anything at the bookstore, and I didn't hate it because I didn't have to deal with the customers too much.

I got home from work at eight o'clock and hurried to grab my shit to shower. It was Bella's birthday, and Angela and I were taking her to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and then we were going to a frat party at the _Sigma Phi_ that night. I was planning to bow out of the party, citing homework as my excuse, but I'd go for dinner.

We ate, and little did I know my two best friends had procured themselves fake IDs, so they were getting fucking hammered, which pissed me off. I couldn't leave them at a frat party with both of them fucked up before we got there, so my excuse of not going was dead in the water.

"You two are already fucked up. I should take you home," I tried to reason.

"Look, just because you don't want to find a boyfriend doesn't mean we don't. You don't have to go with us. Actually, you'll likely cockblock us, Jaybird. You should go home and weep for the man you love," Angela slurred. She knew about my crush on Edward, and fuck her for using it against me, but I wasn't going to leave them alone.

"Wow, the preacher's daughter has a bit of the bitchy slut in her? Good to know," I responded as we walked down the sidewalk to the house, seeing it was overflowing onto the lawn.

"Listen you two. You don't go anywhere without me, got it? I'm going to follow you to the fucking john because you've put me in this position to watch out for you. You're ripe for the picking at a frat party," I instructed.

"_Ripe…_we're ripe. Fuck yeah we are!" Bella was drunk, and I knew I needed to take her ass back to her dorm room but she wouldn't have it. I had a very bad feeling about the night, but I wasn't going to leave them there alone.

The rest of the night was spent with me following them from room to room and keeping an eye on them. I took drinks from their hands that random guys offered because I knew the types, and I was pretty sure they were laced. They weren't happy when I followed them to the bathroom and stood outside the door like a body guard, but I wasn't going anywhere.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Edward's roommate, Emmett standing there. "Hey, Squid. How've you been? Haven't seen you in a while. Who are your friends?"

I bumped his fist when he offered and laughed at him calling me by the name of my old swim team. "They're my best friends, and they were dead set to come here. I'm just keeping an eye on them. You know, trying to keep them out of trouble. They're both drunk," I responded.

He laughed. "That's probably smart. They're really cute, and these guys are looking for freshman chum, so it's good you're looking out for them. Jake and I could take over duty if you wanna have some fun. I mean, he has to be here because he's a brother, but we're not drinking," he offered.

I eyed him carefully. "And why would I leave two eighteen year-old girls in the care of you and Jake?" I asked skeptically.

He cracked up. "Damn, you have no gaydar whatsoever, do you? Dude, Jake and I are a couple. We're not interested in your hags other than to make sure nobody takes advantage of them. Where do they live?" he asked.

Fuck, I was shocked. I didn't know they were a couple, but when Jacob walked up and kissed Emmett on the cheek, I got it. I'd bet they had some pretty wild fucking times.

I laughed. Fuck, I cackled because I was so lame, and I had no idea they were together. It should have been blaringly apparent that morning when I was at Edward's place as I looked back on it, but I was so fucking paranoid about my own shit I didn't see it.

I calmed down just as the bathroom door opened and Bella and Angela slid out. "Shortie, Bookworm," Emmett greeted the two of them, causing them to crack up.

He turned to Jake. "Ready to babysit?"

"Sure, baby," he responded as he took Bella's hand. "Come on, shortie. Let's dance."

Emmett winked at me as he led Angela away. I sighed in relief. If those two brick walls couldn't keep those two girls safe, I didn't stand a chance in hell.

I walked back into the main room and tried to make my way through the crowd to leave. I was fucking tired, and if someone else was going to look out for my friends, then I was going back to my room to go to bed.

As I approached the door, I saw Edward in the corner of the room with a redhead hanging off his neck. That was the nail in the coffin for me. I headed out and walked back to the dorm, wishing I'd gotten drunk. _One of these days…it was Jasper's turn for some fun._

##

The next morning, I woke up to a lot of noise. I opened my eyes to see Jimmy and some guy with dreads packing up his stuff. There was a huge fucker sitting at my desk watching them, and I was completely confused. It then dawned on me the guy at my desk was the RA for my floor, Felix.

"What's going on?" I asked as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

"Jasper, I'm sorry it's taken so long to do this. I need you to fill out a report about the assault for the file. Jimmy here is relocating to another room. I was going to get to it, but I had to wait until we found out which rooms were going to be available. Again, I'm sorry it took so long," Felix explained.

I looked at Jimmy and saw the glare and hatred in his eyes. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be the last time I saw him. "Where are you moving to?" I asked him as he turned his back to me.

He stopped throwing shit in a box and wheeled around to face me. "Well, faggot, since you bitched about me, and I didn't assault you, by the way, I've gotta move across fucking campus. I hope you're fucking happy, you asshole."

"Knock it off, Jim. You're only gonna make it worse on yourself," Dreads told him as he hauled a box out of the room and dropped it onto a cart.

I sat up and leaned against the wall, watching the whole thing with a satisfied smile. I really needed to piss, but if the RA had to leave, I wasn't sure half my shit wouldn't be gone when I got back. After another half-hour, Jimmy finally had all his shit packed up. I was thankful because I was about to piss my bed.

"Whitlock, this ain't over," Jimmy threatened as his friend carried out the last box.

"Turner, anytime, anyplace," I responded cockily. He started to leave when Felix stood up and blocked the door.

"Key, Turner." Felix held out his hand, and after Jimmy slapped the key into it, Felix shoved him out the door and closed it, remaining in the room.

"Kid, go pee. I need to talk to you, but I'd bet your about to bust as much as you were jumping around," Felix joked. I nodded and hopped out of bed and hurried into the little bathroom. I was sure he heard the sigh of relief as I emptied my bladder.

After a flush and a quick wash of my hands, I noticed all my clean towels were gone. I guess if that was the only thing I was missing, I should count myself lucky. I went back into the room and saw Felix leaning against the door, staring off into space.

"So, what do I need to do?" I asked as I started making my bed.

He sighed. "Why didn't you tell me he attacked you? You should have called campus police and filed a report, kid. On your request for relocation, your reason was that you weren't compatible. If you'd have filed a report, I could have had him out of here the next day."

"Look, Felix, I'm not one to cause trouble, okay? I try to keep my nose clean and blend into the woodwork. I don't try to make waves, but if someone fucks with me, I can defend myself. He hasn't been spending a lot of time here, so I haven't really had to deal with him, but if he'd have started anything, I'd have handled it. Now, do I get another roommate or what?"

"Well, not right now, but maybe next semester if someone comes mid-year. Anyway, I'm glad Edward mentioned this last night at the party. I'll see ya later. If you need to talk about anything, knock on my door or leave me a note. See ya," he offered in passing.

_Edward? What the hell?_

I grabbed my phone and tapped out a text message for Edward Cullen.

_Coach - I appreciate what u did, but u don't have 2 keep tabs on me. I'm fine. JW_

I grabbed my stuff and went down to the shower room, happy not to have to worry about being attacked in there again. There were a couple of guys in there who I recognized from coming and going at the dorms, so I decided to try to be friendly with the one closest to me…without being creepy because well, we were all in our birthday suits.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" I asked the small Asian guy with glasses next to me who was rinsing off. Thankfully, there was a half wall so you could only see from the waist up, or in that guy's case, his chest up. Unfortunately, there was no curtain at the end, so anyone coming or going could see your bare ass, but college shower rooms were not a place to spend a lot of time, as I'd learned.

He looked at me and then looked around. "You talkin' to me?"

I laughed because I could have sworn he was impersonating DeNiro's Travis Pickle from "Taxi Driver." "Yeah, I am. I've seen you coming and going, and I really haven't met any of the other guys on this floor. I'm Jasper. I hope you don't mind if I don't shake your hand," I responded as I stood under the spray to wet my hair.

He took off his glasses and rested them on top of the wall next to my shampoo. "Eric Yorkie, and no shake necessary. I saw your roommate being relocated. How'd you manage that? I hate mine, the fucking homophobe."

I turned to look at him while I shampooed my hair. "I hear ya. The asshat I had tried to get me to suck his cock after I told him I was gay. He said some shit about a blow job being a blow job, regardless of who gives it. He wasn't too fucking happy about moving out, but thankfully, the RA hung around to make sure there wasn't a problem. Now, I've got a room to myself," I explained.

"Lucky. My roommate is from Italy, and I swear, he's prissier than me, but when my boyfriend and I were Skyping one night, I heard Caius on the phone with someone and said _finocchio. _I don't speak Italian but my boyfriend does, and when he heard it, he got pissed. He's coming here next weekend, and I'm not looking forward to it," Eric told me.

By then, we were both finished and exited the shower stalls with towels around us. Mine was dirty, since asshole stole all my clean ones, but I was covered, at least. "That sucks. When my roommate left, the dick took all my clean towels. I'm gonna have to go to the store and buy a couple more, and I don't have a fucking trust fund for shit like that."

Eric laughed. "Dude, don't do that. I'll give you a couple of mine. My mom's very smothering and she sent me with a dozen new towels. I've got a bunch in a tub under my bed I haven't even used yet," he offered.

He seemed like a nice guy, and I was actually glad I'd spoken to him. "Man, that's generous of you, but I can't take your shit. I'll figure it out."

"If you won't take 'em, at least let me loan you a few until you can get some. I don't, uh, have any friends, and I'm the kind of guy who likes to have friends, so maybe we could get food together sometime," he stated with a slight blush.

I laughed as I pulled on my boxers under my towel. Once they were up, I dropped the towel on the bench next to my shower caddy and pulled on my jeans. "I'm guessing you mean as friends since you just told me you have a boyfriend. I don't want to get my ass handed to me by some jealous guy," I joked.

He giggled, much like Bella, as he got dressed as well. "Just as friends. Tyler is more than enough man for me, trust me. He's in school at Morehouse in Atlanta. He plays basketball there. He worries about me being here on my own, so if I told him I have a friend who's a big guy, I think he'll be a lot less worried," he clarified.

If I understood him right, it sounded like his boyfriend was pretty big himself, and with Eric just coming up to my shoulders, I'd bet the two of them were pretty comical together. "How big is he?"

Eric giggled again and then got all moony eyed on me. "Six-six, two-twenty."

I cracked up, and thankfully, he laughed with me. "I know, my boyfriend outweighs me by about a hundred pounds, but he's a gentle giant, really. Well, unless someone gives him a reason not to be."

"Is he out at school?" We were heading back toward my dorm room by then.

"No, unfortunately, but our friends and family back in Brooklyn all know, so it's not like he's ashamed of me or anything. It's just easier for him at school. He's a junior this year, and he'd like to play for the NBA. We thought we'd have to stay undercover forever in order for him to play professionally, but with Jason Collins coming out, I've got hopes. So, I'll run get a couple of towels for you. I'll be right back." He hurried off as I unlocked the door to my room, quite surprised at who was sitting on the now-empty bed across from mine. His stalker-like tendencies were starting to concern me.

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_**Hmm…wonder who that was?**_

_**Thanks for reading. **_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**I know I've posted several chapters today, but I want to put it out there and see if anyone bites for boy stories. You seem to be receptive, so maybe I'll follow this up with another one? I have a few because I got to a point where I couldn't come up with an original BxE story, so…I switched.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

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5. H-O-T

##

I walked into the room and dropped my wet towel and dirty pajama pants and t-shirt into my laundry hamper, seeing I needed to get some quarters and do some laundry. "Coach, what are you doing here? I guess I don't have to ask how you got into my room."

He chuckled. "Felix owes me a few favors. I kept him from failing biology his freshman year and for a time, we were close. So, you've been avoiding me again, and really, it's getting old, Jasper."

I walked into the bathroom and dropped my shower caddy on the shelf over the commode. I glanced around and saw I really needed to clean the bathroom since Jimmy had moved out. He was a fucking pig, and I couldn't stand living like that. I had to accept it while he lived with me, but now having the place to myself, well, it didn't have to be that way any longer.

I walked back into the room and sat down on my bed. "I'm not avoiding you, Coach. It's just I'm a freshman and you're a senior. You have your friends, and I have mine. I don't see there's a lot of reason for us to hang out. I'm making friends here, and now that Turner is out I've got the place to myself. Thanks for that."

He closed his eyes and seemed to be clenching his jaw, though I didn't know why. When he opened them, I could see he was a little pissed. "Jasper, if you don't stop calling me '_Coach_', I'm going to have to go to a fucking shrink. Why don't you want to be friends with me? Have I done something?"

"I saw you with your girlfriend at the _Sigma_ party last night. I only went because of my friends, Bella and Angela. After your friends, Emmett and Jake, agreed to watch out for them, I left. I'm not really into partying, and as I said, I don't see where we have a lot in common, what with me being gay and you being straight." Just then, there was a knock on my door.

I walked over and opened it, seeing Eric standing with three thick bath towels. "Here. Seriously, keep 'em. I won't use them, and if I need more, well, my dad's a stockbroker so it's not like my mom won't be sending me more shit over the school year. You wanna grab some lunch?"

Just then, the door was ripped open and Edward was standing next to me. Eric backed up a little, surprise evident on his face. "Oh, um, sorry, Jasper. I didn't realize you had company. We can, um, maybe do something another time."

He started to walk away, so after I gave Edward a dirty look and shoved the towels into his hands, I took off down the hall and caught up to Eric. The little dude was fast. "Hey, wait. He's just a friend of mine. He stopped by because, well, I'm not sure why, but he won't be here long. Which room is yours? I'll come get you after I get rid of him and we'll get lunch."

"Dude, _get rid of_? Fuck, I'd lock him in and never let him out. That man is H-O-T, Jasper. Who is he?"

"He's Edward Cullen. He used to coach my swim club back home. He has this big-brother complex, and it's starting to pluck my fucking nerves." I didn't tell him the man made me hard when I was within a mile of him because I didn't know Eric that well. I prayed to God it didn't show on my face.

Eric looked over my shoulder and smirked. "I don't think he's thinking very brotherly thoughts right now. I'm gonna head over to the food court. If you make it over, look for me. If I don't see you, stop by when you have time. I'll let you get a look at the freak I've gotta share with."

I nodded and turned to go back to my room, seeing Edward standing in the hallway with a scowl on his gorgeous face. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his feet were shoulder width apart. He didn't look very happy, if you ask me.

"Who's your little friend? He's cute," he sneered a bit. It was almost like he was jealous. I breezed by him and into my room without comment. I picked up the towels he'd placed on my bed and put them in the bathroom, returning just as he closed the door and leaned against it, arms still crossed along with his ankles.

"That's Eric Yorkie. We met in the showers," I responded as I grabbed my phone and fiddled with it like I had something interesting to tell anyone.

He was silent, so I turned around and saw his eyebrow was arched at me and he didn't appear to be thrilled with my response. "What?" I asked.

"_In the showers_? Is that a new place to hook up? When I lived in this dorm, we didn't hang out in the showers. He, uh, he doesn't seem like your type, really."

"We weren't _hanging out_ in the showers. We both happened to be in there at the same time, and we started talking. Why would you think he's not my type? What do you know about the type of guy I'm attracted to?" _Fuck him and his sexy hair and gorgeous green eyes and hot fucking body in a tight black t-shirt and dark wash jeans._

I shoved my hands into my pockets in a futile attempt to flare out the front of my jeans so my hard dick wasn't completely obvious. "For your information, Eric's a nice guy. While I'm not completely sure what my type is yet, I'm not opposed to meeting different types of guys to try to figure it out. I figure we all have to kiss a few frogs before we meet Prince Charming," I snapped at him.

The next thing I knew, he wasn't by the door anymore. He was standing in front of me with his hands on both sides of my face. If he thought he needed to hold me in place, he was wrong. I was so fucking stunned, I couldn't have moved if I wanted.

"If that's the case, then … _ribbit_." He licked his lips and leaned forward, brushing his lips gently against mine. I swallowed loudly….embarrassingly loudly. God, his lips were so soft, just like I imagined them to be. He tilted his head a bit and kissed me again with a bit more fervor.

My hand involuntarily moved up to touch his taught abs, and I moaned a bit. He took another step closer until our bodies were just millimeters apart. His tongue darted out and teased my lips until I parted them and sucked his tongue inside. When he moaned and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, I thought I was going to pass out.

Our tongues caressed each other, and I could detect the faint taste of mint and coffee. It was the best taste in the world.

I closed the hairsbreadth distance and placed my hands on his hips, squeezing a bit. It was a heavenly kiss, and when we pulled away, we were both breathing as though we'd just finished the four-hundred meter breaststroke.

I didn't open my eyes immediately, just in case it was a dream and when I opened them I'd discover I was making out with my pillow. His quiet laugh made it real all right.

I opened my eyes and dropped my hands to my sides, but he didn't let go. "Why, um, you're girlfriend's a very lucky girl. I doubt she'd be thrill with you kissing a boy," I whispered, not wanting to break the quiet yet.

He moved his right hand from my shoulder and placed it gently on my cheek, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. "That girl isn't my girlfriend. I don't do _girlfriends_, Jasper. I would have thought you'd have picked up on it. How many guys have you dated?"

"I, actually, haven't ever dated anyone. There was a guy in high school who I used to do stuff with, but it, uh, it wasn't anything really. We messed around some, but he, uh, he ended up outing me in the cafeteria after Christmas break.

"All we did was kiss and I, uh, gave him a few blow jobs, but he kept telling me he wasn't gay. He gave me a hand job at a party on New Year's Eve, and then when we got back to school, he didn't want anything to do with me. That's why I hate parties and haven't really wanted to try to meet anyone else," I explained, feeling my face flame at the admission. He seemed pissed off, and I wasn't sure why.

"Who was it? Was it someone I'd have met when I was there?"

"No. He was older than me and he came for senior year the year I was a sophomore. His parents moved to Forks from Seattle. He was really cute, and we used to play video games together. We took turns playing at each other's houses, but his parents were gone a lot, so we mostly went to his place. One afternoon, we were playing _CoD_, and he just kissed me. I was pretty sure I was gay before that because I had a crush on someone a few years earlier, so I wasn't surprised it turned me on." _I absolutely wasn't going to admit Edward was my fucking crush. One boy could only take so much humiliation over a lifetime._

"He was a fool, Jasper. Who was your crush?" _Oh, hell no._

"Enough about me. What did you mean you don't do _girlfriends_?"

He stepped away and took my hand, pulling me to sit on my bed. Hell, at that point, I had no free will so I allowed it without a second thought.

He took my hand and held it as he turned to look at me. "Jasper, back in high school, I dated girls."

I chortled. "You dated a _lot_ of girls." That was a fucking understatement.

Thankfully, he snickered as well. "I had a lot of first dates between Forks and PA, but yeah. You're right. Anyway, I just never found a girl anything clicked with, but when we moved to Cali for my senior year, I was surfing at Venice Beach and met a guy while we were waiting for the swells to come in.

"We started meeting there regularly on weekends that summer, and one night, we were at a party there and we'd both had a little to drink. When he kissed me, it just felt right. We dated until school started, but he was the guy who made me realize what was wrong with all the girls I'd dated."

I sat back and looked into his eyes. "You're…you're _gay_?"

He laughed again. "Yep. I honestly didn't know you were when I first ran into you, and yeah, initially, I was looking out for you because I knew you when you were a kid, and I knew how sheltered small-town life could be, but when you told me you were gay, everything changed."

_Ho-ly shit! Knock me over with a fucking feather. _"You didn't say anything."

He sighed. "I know, but it was because I kept telling myself you were young and you needed to feel your way through things. You needed to meet guys your own age, and you should have the typical college experiences.

"Unfortunately, I couldn't stay away. I went to that party last night because Em text me and told me you were there. That was why he and Jake offered to look out for your friends. I wanted to be sure nobody took advantage of you, and maybe, talk to you a little bit. No offense, but I could tell you were pretty inexperienced, and I don't want you to get hurt. A young guy got attacked last year by some dickhead after a party, and I didn't want that to happen to you. That's why I called Felix and told him to get that crazy fuck out of your room. What happened with that guy?"

I didn't want to tell him, but something in me couldn't keep my mouth shut. "After the puking incident, I wanted him out, so I told him I was gay and if he was uncomfortable with it, he should get another roommate. The prick asked me to give him a blow job, and when I said no, he kneed me in the eye after he locked the door to the shower room. He was prepared to force it, but I didn't back down," I stated proudly.

Then, something else occurred to me. "Did you date Felix?"

He looked down at his feet, and I had my answer. "Are you still dating him? I don't think he'd be too happy knowing you kissed me, and he's a big son-of-a-bitch."

"No, no. We dated a couple of years ago for about two weeks while I was tutoring him before he met someone who was interested in something more serious. I'm not _that_ guy, and he knew it, but we stayed friends. I dated a guy last year for a month, but he transferred to UCLA at the winter break. I saw him a little bit over the summer, but it wasn't anything serious."

_So, to recap, he was a serial dater who wanted nothing serious, not that I was ready for anything serious, but could I date him…if that was what he was proposing anyway…and be fine when it ended in a few weeks? Would we be friends like he was with Felix and then I'd go off and find another guy to date? Where would one even find other guys to date? Lots of questions. Not a fucking clue where to get any answers._

So, my genius response? "Oh."

"I know, it makes me sound like a slut, but I'm really not. I mean…I don't know what the hell I mean. Anyway, I need your help. Your friends, Angela and Bella, are currently sleeping in my bed. They were too drunk to tell Em and Jake where they lived, so they brought them to our house. Since they're your friends, I gave them my bed and took the couch in the living room. I was hoping you could wake them up and get them to vacate my room so I can get my laptop. I've got a project I need to work on."

I took my hand from his and looked at him. That was the last thing I expected to hear from him. I thought he was asking me out or something, but he just wanted me to get Bella and Angela out of his place? What the fuck was all that other shit?

I grabbed my phone from my desk and dialed Bella. When she didn't answer, I called Angela, knowing she couldn't resist answering her phone. "'Lo?" Her voice was hoarse, and I wanted to laugh but I was too pissed off at Edward for the whiplash I was experiencing. I rose from the bed and began pacing.

"I leave you and Bella at a frat party with two of the biggest guys I've ever met, and you go home with them? You hooker." I was trying to hold the laugh when I heard the groan over the line.

"I don't remember what happened. We're…we're in some bedroom somewhere. At least I'm waking up with Bella and not some strange guy. Where are we?" she asked. I was very worried about the two of them going forward. They were just as fucking naïve as me, but I'd had that illusion shattered by a knee to the eye in the shower room. I could take care of myself. The two of them…not so much.

"I'll tell you where you are, but new ground rules. You two aren't going to anymore parties. I'm not going to any, and if you go without me, I'm calling your dads. I doubt the Right Reverend Weber and Chief Swan would appreciate knowing their virginal daughters were becoming sluts after just a month into their college experience," I teased. Well, kinda.

"You remember how repressed our lives were in Forks, don't you? That's why we're rebelling. You should do a little of that yourself, Jazz." I glanced at Edward and saw him studying me. I wanted to get him the hell out of my room so I could actually form a coherent thought.

'I'd love to, but I've got to watch out for you two hags. Anyway, get out of the man's bed and head to the food court. I'll buy you two hussies lunch. I've got someone I'd like you to meet." I turned away from Edward when I saw his lips thin out.

"Ugh. Fine. Give us a few minutes. Bye." I hung up and turned to look at Edward.

I steeled my face to show no emotion…no confusion…no attraction. Well, I hoped I did. "So, problem solved. I need to get going so I don't leave Eric hanging. Thanks for the kiss. It was nice."

I went to the bathroom and closed the door. I combed my curly hair and decided to pull it back because I really needed a haircut. It was bothering the shit out of me, so ponytail it was.

When I came out of the room, I was sure I'd be alone. Apparently, he had other ideas. "What's the deal with you and Eric?" he asked.

"I don't see where that's any concern of yours. I'm leaving," I stated firmly. I opened the door and extended my hand for him to leave. He got up, reluctantly, and walked into the hallway. I closed and locked the door and turned to him.

"Have a great weekend, _Coach._" I didn't wait for a response. I walked to the stairwell and hurried down it, and I'm proud to say I didn't look back. He could send all the mixed signals he wanted, but I wasn't going to pick up on them. I had ideas about what I didn't want in a boyfriend, and I wouldn't waver. Edward Cullen made it clear he wasn't the type of guy I was looking for as my first, so it was time to move on.

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_**So, if you enjoy slash, tell your friends. This story is completed, so I'll post a few chapters a day, and I really hope you'll embrace it. It's a new 'market' for me.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I'm so happy to know there are people like me who love an E/J story. I want to remind you…this is slash, and it will have lemons. It's not rated Mature for nothing. So, let's see what's up.**_

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6. A Date with Edward Cullen

##

"Babe, these are my friends, Bella Swan, Angela Weber, and Jasper Whitlock. Everyone, this is my guy, Tyler Crowley." The giant extended his hand and kissed Bella's and Angela's before shaking mine. He was a really good looking guy, all six-foot, six-inches of him. He smiled at Eric with genuine affection, and I was happy for my new friend.

Eric and I had been hanging out and he'd prompted me to join a LGBT group on campus. We were making friends, and I was actually having a really great time. The only dark spot was I hadn't met anyone who I felt was dating material, and I hadn't heard from Edward Cullen all week, but I chalked it up to the fact maybe I didn't kiss as well as he'd expected or he figured out I didn't want just a week of fucking, so he didn't bother. I wasn't an easy lay, and I guess he'd figured it out and decided to forget about me.

I felt a large hand on my shoulder and turned to see Emmett and Jake standing next to us. We were waiting for a table at an Italian place off campus, and I was surprised to see them. "Hey guys."

"Ladies, Gents, Undecided," Emmett greeted with a bright smile. We all laughed because he was obviously referring to Eric's tight fuschia shirt and guyliner.

"You guys want to join us?" It was Angela, and she was a little too excited for my taste. Suddenly, I felt another hand on my shoulder, and the scent was completely familiar and knee-buckling.

I turned to see Edward standing there with a smirk on his face. "Squid, introduce us."

I looked at Angela and mouthed, "_Fuck you."_ She giggled, as did Bella.

"Edward Cullen, Emmett McCarty, and Jacob Black, this is Tyler Crowley, Eric's boyfriend. Tyler, these are three pains in the ass," I introduced.

Tyler laughed. "If it's a _pain_ in the ass, you're not doin' it right. Nice to meet you all," Tyler greeted. He was quite the charmer, and Eric was definitely charmed.

"Weber party of eight," the hostess called. I looked at Angela and saw her face was red and she wasn't meeting my gaze. I'd deal with her later.

We followed the hostess as she placed menus at each chair around the table. Much to my surprise, Edward pulled out two chairs across from me. "Ladies." After Bella and Angela sat down, he sat between them. The fucker knew how to woo the ladies, and I could see they were both under his spell.

I sat down next to Tyler who'd pulled out Eric's chair as Emmett pulled out Jake's. I, however, pulled out my own chair.

I picked up my menu, ignoring the chatter, especially Edward's scintillating conversation with Bella and Angela. I turned to Tyler, determined not to let Edward's presence bother me.

"So, Tyler, how does the season look for you?" I asked. I knew a little about basketball, and I knew he was the point guard, so I was sure he and I could have a decent conversation.

"Pretty good. We've got a couple of Freshmen who hold promise, but we don't actually start preseason practice for two weeks. We've been doing minicamps all summer. If you want to come with Eric for a game sometime this winter, let me know. I'll get ya tickets," he offered.

"Whoa, wait. Does that count for all of us because I know Jake and I wouldn't mind seeing the KSU game? It's in January, right?" Emmett asked.

After that, I was ignored as Emmett, Jake, and Tyler began discussing the previous year's season. The waiter walked up and stood behind my chair. "Hello. Welcome to _Momma Melina_. What can I get everyone to drink, and I'm going to need IDs if anyone is drinking alcohol."

Well, I was fucked. I didn't have a fake ID, but I knew Bella and Angela did, so I gave them the evil eye. We'd walked to the restaurant, so driving wasn't an issue. The two of them getting hammered and behaving like stupid college girls…that was the crux of the problem as far as I was concerned.

Everyone except me was scrambling. I saw hands moving under the table. From Edward to Angela to Eric who laughed, then to Tyler who hit me on the leg. I held out my hand and felt him press something into it. I looked down and saw I was suddenly twenty-one. I looked to Edward and saw him wink, which made my heart skip a beat.

IDs were handed over, and after they were passed back, the waiter smiled. "Okay, so what to drink?"

A bottle of _Soave Tedeschi _ and_Chianti Classico Petroio_was ordered, and two beers. We also ordered appetizers for the table. The waiter left, and I was still surprised at my sudden possession of a fake ID.

"Ladies, this has been quite lovely, but I need to actually move, if you don't mind. Em, can I have your seat? Angela, if you'll shift over, this can be done without causing a scene." Suddenly, the scrambling began, and when the smoke cleared, Edward was sitting next to me.

He turned to me and smiled. "If you'd only told me Eric was the boyfriend of the power forward for the Morehouse Tigers, a lot of shit could have been avoided. From here forward, let's be honest with each other, shall we?"

I turned to look at him and saw that sexy smile on his face. God, I wasn't going to be able to keep equal footing with him. He completely overwhelmed me.

Before I could answer, the waiter showed up and opened the wine. After Edward tasted both, it was poured, and the waiter disappeared. I'd chosen the red, though I wasn't sure why, but as I took a sip I didn't hate it.

I turned to him and let out a huge breath. "How'd you get me a fake ID? Actually, _why_?"

"The how is easy. I got Bella to get me a picture of you and called in a favor."

"Oh, from an old sex partner?" I laughed to myself at my quick retort.

He laughed. "No, from the campus extortionist, but it was worth it. The why of it is simple enough. There are things I'd like us to do, and you'll need an ID for a lot of them. It's more selfish than anything else," he responded as he sipped his wine.

"You made it perfectly fucking clear you're only interested in a short-term fuck-buddy, and while I'm not looking for marriage or anything, I'm also not looking to be a booty call." I was standing my ground, goddammit.

"So, are you ready to order?" the waiter asked as the appetizers were delivered.

After we ordered, the waiter left us again. "Will you excuse us?" Edward asked the group as he jerked my chair away from the table.

"What?" I asked.

"We need to talk." He took my hand and dragged me out of the restaurant, much to my surprise.

Once we were outside, he led me down the block a bit and stopped in the doorway of a jewelry store which was dark. I stood in front of him with my hands shoved into my pockets, waiting.

"You seem to have gotten the wrong impression from our discussion on Saturday. Have you kissed anymore frogs?"

I weighed my options, and based on what he said earlier, I decided to be honest. "No, not yet. I had high hopes for the weekend."

"Yeah, well, I do too. Why in the fuck are you so goddamn…" he trailed off before he kissed me again. It was just as wonderful as the first time, and I couldn't deny the man had me sprung in record time. When he rubbed his crotch against mine, I felt he was hard as well. Jesus, I was about to die.

I pulled away and looked at him, trying to gather my wits. The hold he had on me had me crazy, and I knew in my heart he wouldn't be good for me. I'd walk away from the relationship…ha! It wouldn't be a _relationship_…I'd walk away a broken man, and I was only eighteen. If longevity was any indication, I was fucked. My grandparents on both sides of the family were still alive, hovering around their seventies, and from eighteen to seventies was a hell of a long time to live with heartbreak.

"Edward, you are a handsome, sexy man. I'm just me. You could do a lot…" I didn't get to finish that sentence. His mouth sealed over mine, and he kissed me senseless. Our tongues glided together, and we both moaned at the contact. My arms were around his waist, and his were around my neck. We were grinding against each other, and I wasn't able to form a coherent thought.

Edward pulled away before I was ready, but when I looked to my left, I saw Emmett standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a grin firmly on his face. "If you plan to eat…food…it's still hot. If you two wanna slip away, I'll bring home your entrees and you can eat later."

I looked at Edward and hell if I didn't wanna leave, but he laughed as he looked at Emmett. "I have some self-control, fucker. We just needed to get a few things straight."

He led me back to the restaurant, and my mind was spinning because I didn't know what we needed to get straight or if we'd gotten it straight. I laughed at the term "straight" because we weren't, and well, I was eighteen after all. It was damn near required of me to laugh at shit like that.

Edward pulled out my chair, and I laughed to myself because for the first time in my life, I had a chair pulled out for me. My ravioli with mushrooms and cheese looked incredible. The waiter grated some parmesan cheese over it, and I tucked in. Edward had the sea bass with a wine sauce, and we shared. I'd never had sea bass before, and it was really good. He seemed to like my pasta dish as well.

After we finished the food, we divvied up the bill. I pulled out my wallet to pay my share, and Edward shoved my hand away. "I've got Jasper, Bella and Angela," he explained. He pulled out money, and I was embarrassed.

"Edward, I can pay for myself. If you want to pay for them, fine, but I can pay for my food," I protested.

He placed his hand on the side of my face and kissed my lips right there in front of everyone. When he pulled away, he smiled. "Jasper, this was a date. When we go out on dates, I pay."

I stiffened at his comment and turned to him. I didn't like what he said at all. "Oh, because what? I'm the girl in this relationship?"

He pulled out my chair and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from it. "We'll see you all later." He dragged me out of the place, once a-fucking-gain, and why the fuck I allowed it was a goddamn mystery, but I did. When we got to the curb, he flagged down a cab and after we got in, he gave the address to the driver. It was my dorm.

After the cabbie headed into traffic, Edward turned to me. "Jasper, you're not the girl in this relationship, okay? I stayed here and worked all summer giving swimming lessons so I have money tucked away. I don't like girls, okay? I like _you_. You can take me out for coffee sometime. I paid for you because I want you to understand it was a _date_. An honest to goodness _date_. I realize I didn't ask you out, but you haven't asked me out either, and I had to do something."

We didn't talk anymore on the way to my dorm. We kissed, and it was incredible. The cab driver bitched in a foreign language the whole time he drove us back, but fuck him. When he pulled up outside of Hansee, Edward told him to wait, and he got out and walked me up to the door of my building.

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

It was a Sunday, and I should have said yes because I had homework, but I just couldn't. I wanted to see him.

"I'm free early, but I've got homework I need to do and laundry. How about I take you to breakfast? I'd like to reciprocate," I offered.

He smiled brightly. "I'd like that, but I've got an idea. Bring your books and your laundry. We have a washer, dryer, and Wifi. You can do your homework, laundry, and we can watch a movie when you're done. How does that sound? Tell me when and where for breakfast, and I'll be there."

I smiled back. "I'll pick you up at ten, and I'll drop off my stuff. We can get breakfast, and then go back to your place. I appreciate the loan of a washer I don't have to share with God only knows who. I hate using that fucking laundry room. Anyway, if something comes up, you've got my number and you can text me.

"Thank you, Edward. I had a good time tonight." I stepped forward and kissed him, loving the feel of his lips against mine. He was only a few inches taller than me, but he was a huge presence, and I was grateful he was giving me the time of day.

When the cab driver honked, he pulled away and looked at me with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. Ten o'clock, right?" I nodded and swiped my student ID over the box. When the door clicked, he opened it.

"Sweet dreams, Jasper."

I smiled and went inside, trying like hell to keep from dancing to the elevator. It had been the best night of my life. I didn't know how things would end with us, because I was sure there was an end, but I had to start somewhere, and why the fuck shouldn't I have a guy like Edward Cullen like me? I was good looking. Hell yeah, I deserved a guy like Edward Cullen. If not me, then who?

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_**SMeyer owns the characters. I own this story line. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews, and welcome to new readers. I love to have a lot of people at the party! FYI - I haven't planned any chapters for Edward because I love having his thoughts a bit of a mystery and hearing the story from Jasper.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

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7. The First Shot…Too Soon

##

My eyes sprung open at six o'clock on Sunday morning. That was unheard of in my world, but what the hell. I could do some homework so I didn't have to take my shit with me, and well, if doing laundry at Edward's place was on the table, I'd take it in stride. Oh, I'd also bleed out the time, so I grabbed damn near everything I owned, clean or dirty, and piled it into my laundry bag.

After I finished my homework, I decided to go for a swim. The indoor pool wasn't that far, so I changed into my board shorts and a t-shirt, and I headed off. The smell of chlorine sparked something in me when I walked into the building. It was only seven in the morning, and for a Sunday, I was sure it would be deserted.

I walked onto the pool deck, and I heard the splashing I didn't expect. I was surprised to see Edward doing laps. I slipped off my t-shirt and flip-flops and dove in, meeting him stroke for stroke. I didn't know if he knew it was me, but I'd recognize that tight ass anywhere.

After a few laps, he pulled up and looked over, he laughed as he pulled off his goggles. "Isn't this my lucky day?"

He slipped under the bumpers and swam into my lane stopping in front of me as I held onto the side, having slipped off my goggles as well.

"I didn't know you came here." He grabbed onto the side and treaded water next to me.

"I haven't before, but I woke up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I needed a workout, and well, I hoped the pool was quiet. I didn't know you swam here either," I responded as I bobbed in the water.

"Four times a week. Hey, maybe we can do this together. I don't mind a little healthy competition. We can make bets."

I laughed. "So, you're a gambler?"

He placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me closer. It was just the two of us, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel really fucking good.

"Not really, but if I can trick you into dates with me, then I'll risk it. How'd you sleep?"

"Not worth a shit. You need to get out of my head or I'm going to fail and get kicked out of school," I responded with a smile.

"Oh, please. You're the one fucking with my head. I doubt you give me a second thought, Jasper."

I took his hand and pulled him closer, kissing him roughly, hungrily. God, I wanted him. I wanted him more than anything.

The only thing keeping us from doing something in the pool which would have been a big step for me was the sound of scrambling feet and a whistle. "Fuck, the swim team. We'll take this up later." He pecked my lips and hauled himself out of the water. I followed suit, and grabbed the towel, one of the plush towels Eric had given me, and dried off. I wrapped it around my waist and slipped on my shoes and t-shirt.

"I'll be over in a couple of hours," I told him as we prepared to vacate the pool house.

"I'll be waiting."

Oh, man, I'd be waiting as well.

##

I tentatively knocked on the door with my two big bags of laundry. I had all the trimmings…soap, fabric softener, color safe bleach, and dryer sheets. I was even ready to pay for the privilege of using a private washer and dryer. I'd pay anything to be able to spend time with Edward. Yes, I was a lovesick douche, but I'd defy anyone who saw the man to do anything differently.

When the door opened, it was Heidi the Whore. I'd forgotten she lived there, but she had a sleep mask on the top of her head, and her hair was a mess. She wasn't happy to see me at all.

"Christ. The dumpster is behind the building, Bookstore."

Thankfully, before I had to answer her, Jake walked up behind her. "Squid! Good to see ya. Come on in," he invited.

She wheeled on him. "You don't fucking _live_ here, jackoff. Don't be inviting him in. As a matter of fact, you need to chip in on rent if you're going to be here all the fucking time. Do you live here with Emmett? If you do, then pony up, asshole."

I followed them inside, pulling my laundry behind me. I was embarrassed by what she'd said, and I should have just turned around and left. I started to do so, as a matter of fact, when Jacob grabbed my hand and took a bag from me. Heidi stormed off, and I wasn't sorry she was gone.

"Come in. Em's in the shower, but you can put in a load. Don't mind that bitch. She's got issues."

I followed him through the kitchen to the laundry room. I pulled out all of my stuff, and began just dumping clothes inside the machine. It was the way I did it, and well, it had always worked well.

"Dear Laundry God, stop. You have to sort, Squid." When he began sorting my laundry, I wasn't sure if I was happy or pissed. He tossed in a load of all my whites and then filled the machine with detergent and all-purpose bleach. When the water began running into the washer, he turned to me and smiled.

"You freshman walk around in discolored clothes and it's really a pity. Let Uncle Jake show you how to properly do laundry. I do Emmett's, and I'd defy anyone to say his whites aren't sparkling. Edward's in bed. Go wake him up. I guarantee you, he won't be unhappy about it."

He gently pushed me down the hallway after he handed me two cups of coffee, and I didn't argue. If Edward went home and went back to bed, I couldn't blame him. Waking him up? Oh, fuck yes.

I didn't knock because I had two cups of coffee in my hands, so I used my pinkie and flipped the handle, shoving the door open with my hip. I saw his gorgeous back because he was on his stomach, so I walked over to the side of the bed and placed the coffees on the side table.

I gently sat down and looked at the muscled back presented to me. I couldn't help but run a finger over the soft skin that was _right there._ It was beautiful, and hell, he was asleep. When he stirred, I could back away and he'd be none the wiser, I was sure. I had quick reflexes.

I ran a finger down his spine, moving the sheet enough to see the top of his Armani boxers. They were black, and I was fucking rock hard immediately.

He moaned just a little, so I did it again. If Dali had _that_ canvas in front of him, he'd have created a masterpiece on it, melting clocks and all. The broad shoulders and taught muscles…yeah, my finger wasn't the only thing I wanted to run down his spine. My tongue was begging, so, hell, I leaned forward and licked him. Anyone else would've done the same.

His skin tasted like nothing really, but he smelled like heaven. He'd showered after the early morning swim, and the smell, fuck it was incredible. As I ran my tongue down his back, I breathed in the heavenly scent. He hadn't stirred, so why not?

I swirled my tongue between his shoulder blades and breathed in heavily, so grateful for the opportunity. I knew I wouldn't walk away from him a whole person, but as long as I had him there, vulnerable, which I was sure wasn't something he ever was, I'd take advantage of it so I'd have something to remember for the rest of my life.

Suddenly, I was flipped onto my back on the mattress, and he was hovering over me. "You're determined to drive me insane, aren't you?"

He had me pinned down on his bed, hovering over me with a smile on his face. It was incredible. It was unbelievable. It was mind blowing.

"I'm just here to pick you up for our date. You obviously overslept, and well, I take punctuality very seriously," I teased. Where it came from, I didn't know because I wasn't usually that cool, but I was holding onto it.

He laughed. "God, I've got you in my bed for the second time. Now, what should I do with you?"

His hand was on my chest and he was leaning against the other hand as he looked into my eyes with a bright smile. It wasn't anything I ever anticipated.

I laughed and looked at the clock on his bedside table seeing it was just after ten. "Well, you could get your lazy ass up and get dressed so I can take you out for breakfast."

I thought he would laugh. He didn't. "I could, or I could do something else and you could take me to lunch." When he popped the button on my jeans, I was surprised, but I certainly wasn't going to stop him. I didn't know what he had in mind, but I was on-fucking-board with anything.

"Lift," he ordered. I did as he said because, seriously, if he was going anywhere near my hard cock, who was I to stop him? He pulled off my jeans and boxers, and he looked at me, which really made me fucking self-conscious.

Being gay had made me avoid looking too closely at other guys junk lest they think I was checking them out, which I probably would have been, and having mine scrutinized that closely made me nervous. What if I was lacking?

A sweep of his tongue over the head of my cock. That was all it took to send me over the edge. I came before he even took me into his mouth, and I was so fucking embarrassed I shoved him away and ran into the bathroom, locking the door and sinking to the floor. I'd have puked except I didn't have anything to expel since I hadn't eaten yet.

"Jasper, open the door," he compelled. I couldn't hide out forever because I was in his home, but I could pretend it had never happened…

"I'll be out in a minute."

I dried the fucking tears on my cheeks, stood up to splash water on my face. I wrapped a towel around my waist because, well, I didn't have on any pants. God , did I want to die.

"I, uh, I'm sorry about…" I began explaining when I saw him standing there waiting for me.

He grabbed my hand and took me back into the bedroom, closing and locking the door. He led me back to the bed, and when I grabbed my boxers, he ripped them from my hands.

"You're eighteen, and you've never had a blow job. Don't you dare be embarrassed," he soothed as he kissed me.

His hands held my head as he hovered over me. "The good thing about being your age is the quick recovery time. Don't dwell on what happened before. Let's start again," he ordered.

Fuck, at that point, he could have told me to jump from the window and I'd have done it. He kissed me as his hands touched me. He wanted me. I felt his need against my thigh, but every time I tried to get his boxers off, he stopped me. "This is about you."

A few minutes later, he whipped my t-shirt over my head, pulled the towel from my waist, and moved down the bed. When he swept his tongue over the head again, I didn't shoot off immediately, for which I was grateful.

He sucked me into his warm, wet mouth, and proceeded to show me all the things I didn't know about giving a blow job. The feel of his tongue on my cock…that wasn't even something I could describe.

He licked, sucked, and actually, nibbled. I whimpered, bit my lip, and shrieked a bit. It was inconceivable…Edward Cullen, the sexiest man I'd ever met was giving me, Jasper Josiah Whitlock, a blow job. I'd obviously fallen into an alternative universe.

He tugged gently on my balls and slid a finger behind them, sending me hurtling over the cliff. I should have given him warning, but hell, I barely had any myself. I'd only had one hand job by someone other than me, so the whole blow job thing? Nearly incomprehensible.

He kissed his way back up my body, swirling his tongue over my nipples, which went straight to my groin because I had no idea they were sensitive, and then he kissed up my neck and finally hovered over me, looking into my eyes. "You have gorgeous eyes, you know." I actually didn't know that, but if he was telling it to me, it must be the damn truth.

"I, uh, thank you…for everything," I mumbled embarrassingly. My face was likely glowing because it felt like I was standing too close to a fire.

He chuckled and then kissed the tip of my nose. "No need to thank me for any of it. Believe me, it was my pleasure. How much homework do you have? I've got a couple of things to do, but if you have a lot, I can run out and get us something to eat and bring it back."

His thumbs were stroking my cheeks as he looked into my eyes, and I was having a hard time putting together coherent thoughts. God, he was going to think I was an idiot. He moved a little, and my cock was instantly hard again. He smiled slowly and wiggled against me. "Damn, you're very responsive, Jasper. That makes me very happy at the prospect."

"I, uh, I did my homework earlier this morning before the swim. I couldn't sleep passed six, so I took advantage of the time. How about you? I mean, if you've got a lot, I can go out and get us something, though I really do want to take you out," I told him as my hands gently glided along his biceps. God, he had definition.

His head dipped down and he pecked a kiss to my lips. "I'm starving, and if we try to eat here, we'll have Jake and Em breathing down our necks in case one of us drops a fry on the floor. Besides, I like being with just you. I'd like to get to know you better without an audience."

"O-," big swallow, "kay. I should probably take a quick shower," I suggested.

He laughed and moved off of me, much to my dislike. "No." I did a double take at his answer, wondering if he had some weird quirk regarding a stranger using his shower. Hell, he'd had my cock in his mouth and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. A shower seemed fairly innocuous in my opinion.

"No?"

He leaned forward and kissed my lips again gently. "I like the idea of your skin smelling like me. I guess I've got a bit of the possessive caveman in me. Let's get dressed," he ordered as he grabbed my jeans and tossed them to me. I looked over the side of the bed for my boxers, and didn't see them anywhere. I heard him laughing as the bathroom door closed.

I hopped up and looked everywhere for them, not finding them. I pulled on my t-shirt and weighed my options, which really was only one. Commando. I pulled back the covers just to be sure they weren't tangled in the sheets, and when I didn't find them, I pulled on my jeans and carefully zipped them up. I definitely didn't want to get anything important caught in the zipper, especially if there was a chance my cock might get a little more action later.

Edward strolled in with a sexy smile in place. He walked into his closet and came back a minute later in a t-shirt with a pair of jeans in his hands. I must have been squirming a little because he laughed. I wasn't used to going without boxers, and I guess he figured out something was bugging me.

"Something wrong?"

God knew I didn't want to tell him I'd lost my boxers in a ten-by-twelve room, but I didn't want him to think I'd left them behind on purpose like some fucking creeper. "I seem to have lost my boxers in here somewhere. I swear, I had them on when I came in, but I can't find them anywhere. I didn't, like, leave them on purpose or anything," I assured him, not able to look him in the eye.

He pulled on his jeans and tucked what I was sure was an impressive cock inside before he buttoned up. I was fidgeting nervously as I pulled on my socks and trainers. He sat down on the bed next to me with his own trainers, and when the bed started shaking, I turned to look at him, seeing him laughing quietly.

"You didn't lose them. I took them because I really like the idea of you not wearing any. You might want to invest in a couple of pairs of button flies because I'd hate for that gorgeous cock to get caught in a zipper. That's a pain unlike any other," he told me with a cocky smile.

"You took my boxers? That's, uh, weirdly endearing, actually. Well, how about you lose those Armani's? I like the idea of you walking around with only those buttons keeping me from touching you, which by the way, will happen later. It's only fair, after all." He looked surprised, and I was sure the look on my face mirrored his own because, where the confidence came from, I had no idea. Maybe the pipe cleaning he gave me had released some long hidden gene that kept the usual stammer out of my voice?

His breath hitched a bit, but he stood up, dropped his jeans, and stepped out of them, picking them up from the floor and dropping them onto the bed. He slowly, seductively, slipped his thumbs in the waistband and lowered the boxer briefs, giving me the first glimpse of a very gorgeous cock which I planned to get up close and personal with later. I was calling it an afternoon snack in my head, but when I took it in, it was much more than a snack. It was a seven-course feast.

I licked my lips at the thought of having him in my mouth, and I saw his dick twitch a little. "Jasper, stop looking at me like that or we won't make it out of my bedroom. I was a gentleman last night. I don't know if I have the control to do so today."

I jerked my head up and saw he had a cocked…_ha ha_…eyebrow at me which I guess was his "I mean business" look. I laughed. I got up from the bed and grabbed his jeans, taking the two steps that separated us, and leaned forward to sweep my tongue over the pre-cum that was about to drip from the engorged head. He gasped, and I was sufficiently smug.

"Put these on or I can't guarantee I'll give a shit if we leave the room or not. By the way, I never said I wanted a gentleman." I pressed his jeans to his chest and licked up his neck. I walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me for dramatic affect.

I walked down the hallway to the kitchen, seeing Jake and Emmett sitting at the table with books spread in front of them. Jake looked up and smirked. "Nice hair, Squid. I moved your whites to the dryer and put in a load of colors. You guys wanna order food?"

"Thanks, Jake. I'm taking Edward out for lunch, but we can bring you guys something back," I offered.

Emmett perked up, glancing down the hallway and turning back to me. "He likes that diner over off 36th. Roxy's."

"Thanks, Em. Anyway, you want something?"

"Actually, I think I'll follow your lead and take my guy out for lunch. Can't let the romance die, Squid." He picked up Jake's hand and kissed it before he pulled him from the chair and led him back to his bedroom. I had a feeling they wouldn't be leaving it anytime soon.

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**That poor kid. He can't get a break, really.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Till next time…xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Oh, I love you all. Those of you who are reading make me feel really happy. Thank you for your reviews. I hope you'll continue to stick with me because we have a few ups and downs to go through, but you all know me…**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's see where the boys are.**_

_**\\\**_

8. Message Received

##

Edward strolled in and walked over to where I was standing. He reached up and ran his hands through my hair, kissing me gently. "As much as I love that freshly fucked look on you, probably not a good look for public consumption. So, where should we go?"

I reached into my pocket, actually feeling my hand brush over my cock through the pocket, and I knew it was going to be quite an adjustment for me with going commando, but if it turned him on, then hell, why not? I pulled out a rubber band and pulled my hair back out of the way. "I need a haircut. Anyway, how about _Roxy's Diner_?"

"Oh, fuck, I love that place. They have the best French toast. Let's go. I can drive us." He took my hand and led me out of the apartment and down the stairs to the street. I followed him to his silver car, seeing it was a Volvo which I hadn't noticed the night he picked me up from the quad. He opened the door on the passenger side, and before I got inside, he stopped me and kissed me. When he pulled away, I looked around, worried someone had seen us.

I wasn't sure how he felt about public displays, and while it was new to me, I wasn't opposed to every mother fucker on the planet knowing I was taking the man out. "Jasper, does it bother you if I kiss you or hold your hand in public?"

I looked into his eyes and saw concern. I didn't want him to worry about me. I was worried about him. "I've never been _out_ with a guy before. It doesn't bother me, but I wasn't sure how you felt about it."

He motioned for me to get into the car, and after he shut my door, he hurried around and got in on his side. He turned to look at me and took my hand. "We Cullens are a very affectionate bunch, and PDAs are not uncommon. Will that bother you?"

I thought about it and smiled. "No, I don't believe it will in the least." I leaned forward and kissed him gently, and I knew, nope, it wouldn't bother me in the least.

##

After waiting for twenty minutes, we were finally seated at a booth. The waitress gave us coffee and menus before she bustled away, and I settled in to peruse the offerings. There was a lot of stuff on the menu that looked really good. Just as I looked up to ask Edward about a scramble that looked interesting, a really hot guy walked up behind him and put his hands over Edward's eyes.

He leaned forward and whispered, "Guess who, sexy." I closed my menu and took in his appearance. His tanned skin and dark eyes reminded me of Jake, but his hair was short. He had a bright smile, and he was built like a body builder. My swimmer's physique definitely couldn't compare.

Edward pulled the guy's hands from his eyes and captured his wrists, pulling his arms around his neck as he turned his head and kissed the guy on the cheek. "Seth! Babe, I've been calling you for a fucking week. Where have you been?"

I took a sip of my coffee and tried to rein in the jealousy. I knew he wasn't a one-man-man, but having it thrown in my face wasn't pleasant. It was like I wasn't even there, and as excited as they seemed to be to see each other, I wondered if I should just get up and leave.

"Sorry I haven't called you back, but some of us have to work more than just the summer. What's up?" the guy, Seth, asked as he took a seat in the booth next to Edward and pulled him closer, kissing him on the cheek again. Edward pulled away and glanced across the table to me where I sat with my arms crossed over my chest, none too pleased with the sight before me.

"Um, Seth, this is my friend, Jasper Whitlock. Jasper, this is my friend, Seth Clearwater." The guy leaned forward and whispered something in his ear which made him laugh, and I wanted to be sick. Edward shook his head "no" and looked around, not meeting my gaze.

Finally, the guy turned to me and offered his hand. "Nice to meet you, kid." I shook it, resisting the urge to squeeze it hard, and then I looked at Edward who appeared to be quite nervous, my gaze moving between Edward and the interloper who was ruining my date.

"Yeah. Back at ya," I responded as I looked down at the menu again. If the guy was staying, I wasn't.

"Look, Edward, I'll go. Seems you and your _friend_ have some catching up to do. I'm gonna stop by the apartment and pick up my stuff, and I'll see you around." I sounded like a whiny kid, but fuck, I didn't need shit rubbed in my face.

"Kid, don't go anywhere. I'm just on a break. Anyway, when I looked out from the kitchen, I saw this unruly mop and came out to say hi. I'm working weekends now, but I've got Monday and Tuesday off. Call me if you wanna hang out. I've missed ya." I noticed he was wearing a t-shirt with the restaurant logo on it, so I guessed he worked here.

"I didn't know you, um, were working weekends," Edward said nervously.

The guy's face screwed up a little. "I told Em to let you know when I ran into him the other day. I'm surprised he didn't tell you. Anyway, I better get back to the kitchen. Call me," Seth ordered. Edward nodded, and I was seething.

Emmett knew the guy would be here, and that's why he suggested we eat here? I wasn't sure why, but I was damn well going to find out when I went to the apartment to pick up my laundry.

I didn't say anything, and when the waitress returned to take our order, I motioned for Edward to go first. He ordered the French toast, and when she turned to me, I smiled. "I'll have the western scramble…to _go_. He'll have his to _stay_." She looked at me like I was crazy, but I just smiled.

She walked away, and I sat there sipping my coffee, not saying a word. I wasn't going to fill the silence. I hadn't been accosted by another guy while I was on a date with _him._

Finally, he cleared his throat. "Look, Jasper, Seth's just a friend, okay?"

I chuckled darkly. "Yeah, no explanation necessary. You have a lot of _friends_, apparently. Hey, you're entitled, a good looking guy like you. I'm under no assumptions I'm going to be anything different to you. Someday, I'll walk into a place and see you with another guy, and maybe I'll walk over to you and throw my arms around your neck and whisper something dirty in your ear, reminding you of a time when we fucked or something. It's the civilized thing to do, right?"

I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Eric, asking him if he wanted to do laundry after Tyler left. His response was pretty quick.

_Dude, I thought u were bzy. Come by when ur ready. Caius isn't back yet. Ty says hi. E_

"So, do you have any siblings?" I had to get over the jealousy because really, I knew what kind of guy he was and I still went out with him. It was my own fucking fault.

"I, uh, I have a sister. She's older. She lives in Paris, actually. You?"

"I do, as you should remember. Rosalie, the ballbuster. You two were in the same grade, and you likely fucked her at some point in time, seeing that the two of you were both, uh, _popular_ in high school." It was only then I allowed myself to consider he'd fucked my sister, and I wasn't really thrilled at the prospect. It would definitely be too fucking strange for me, picking up Rose's sloppy seconds.

"Jasper, I never slept with your sister. She hated me, as a matter of fact. Tell me what's got you pissed off, please."

I gulped down the rest of my coffee as I saw the waitress approach with his plate of French toast and my "go" box. I stood next to the table and strapped on my best, unaffected smile. "There's no reason for me to be pissed, Edward. You've been perfectly upfront with me regarding your lifestyle. It's just that, well, being as inexperienced as I am, I guess I kinda hoped my first shot out of the closet would be more than a notch on some guy's bedpost."

I turned to the stunned waitress. "How much I owe ya, sugar?"

She handed me the bill, and I handed her thirty dollars with a "keep the change." I walked out with the smallest shred of dignity I had in place. I got a cab and went to his apartment, knocking on the door. When Heidi the Whore answered, I was fucking ready for her.

"Cullen's not here, Bookstore. I'll tell him you're stalking him." She started to close the door, but I shoved my foot in.

"Look, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but if you let me grab my shit, you'll never have to see me again." I saw her consider my statement, and she stepped aside.

I went to the laundry room and gathered up all my dirty clothes to leave. Just as I was almost out the door, having left my breakfast carry out on the table, the door opened and Emmett and Jake walked in, laughing together.

"Oh, you're back. Damn, you guys must have…" Emmett began. I walked up in his shit and punched the fucker in the nose. It hurt me a lot more than it hurt him, I was sure, but he did stagger a bit. I saw Jake start for me, so I gave him a roundhouse in the chest, sending his ass flying into the wall behind him.

"You fucking sent me into that on purpose. Message received. You don't want me with Edward, so you sent me there so I'd see how wrong we were for each other. Well, I get it. Thanks for fucking nothing." I grabbed my bags of laundry and was thankful I hadn't brought my homework.

I left the building and walked home, dragging my pathetic bag behind me, not really seeing anything because of the tears. When I got back to the dorm via the shuttle, I knocked on Eric's door. Unfortunately, the blonde guy answered, and I wasn't in the mood for his shit either.

"Eric here?" The guy was a lot thinner than me, and if he started up anything, I'd beat the fuck out of him. I wasn't in the mood for bullshit, and since I couldn't beat the shit out of Edward, I'd take out my aggression on the Italian fucker who made Eric miserable.

The dick began screamed at me in Italian, so I grabbed him by the throat and pulled him out of the room, pinning him to the wall in the hallway. "You're in America, you fucking douche, so speak English. Where's Eric?" I snapped.

Just then, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Eric with a look of fear. "Jasper, let him go."

I released him, and he coughed, staggering away from me. I turned to Eric. "You got clean sheets?"

"Uh, yeah. You need some?"

"No. You can move in with me. I'll clear it with Felix. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit, and I've got an empty bed in my room. I'm tired of being pushed around, and I'd guess you are to, so we're going to take a pro-active stance on the rest of our college career. Grab what you need for the night and come down. I'll talk to Felix and get you the extra key. I mean, if you want to," I offered, tempering back my anger because Eric was just as weak as me, for the most part. He and I were going to do something about it.

\\\

_**I know…a lot of stuff happened. I hope you'll have a little patience with our Jasper as he continues to grow accustomed to college life and grow into himself. We're just on the edge of this story, so bear with me. Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hello! So happy you're on board with me. Let's get to it.**_

_**Smeyer owns. I don't infringe.**_

_**We left it with Jasper punching Emmett, leaving Edward at Roxy's, and his laundry at Edward's apartment. Let's see where our boy is now.**_

_**\\\**_

9. What was left to say?

##

"Jasper, that's the biggest shirt I have. You should just call him and ask to get your clothes back," Eric complained. It was Tuesday morning, and I was in a jam. I'd left my whites and colors at Edward's apartment in my haste to leave, and I refused to go back to retrieve them.

We'd moved Eric in after I spoke to Felix and explained that Caius was a prick. He agreed to make the switch, and he even helped us move Eric's stuff into my room. Eric and I were a lot more alike than I'd thought, and I found that even as devastated as I'd been about what happened with _him_, things were actually looking up.

"You don't have one of Tyler's shirts I could borrow? I'll go shopping at the Goodwill after class. I just need something to wear today." He thought for a minute and hurried to the dresser on his side of the room and pulled out a basketball jersey. It had Morehouse on the front and Crowley on the back. It was like a tank top, and I wasn't exactly that secure to wear it to class.

"Um, that's, well, I could…no I can't wear this."

He opened a drawer and pulled out an undershirt of his. "Look, you can wear this under it, and nobody will know you're six pack is hanging out like a twink in a go-go club. It'll get you through the day, Jazz."

That idea wasn't half bad, so I did as he said. I grabbed my book bag and reminded him I was working at the bookstore after classes were over so he shouldn't wait for me to get dinner. It was then I remembered I didn't have a work shirt, so I'd be working in the stock room again, which didn't hurt my feelings.

"Bye," I called as he went to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

"Chin up, Whitlock," he replied in support. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see a laundry basket sitting in front of my door with my clothes. All were clean and folded, and there was an envelope on top. I hauled it to my bed and left without looking at the envelope. I wasn't prepared to read whatever was inside because I wasn't about to let thoughts of Edward keep me from making it to class on time.

I sank into my seat next to Angela for the lecture, with the lab to follow, and when she put a note in front of me, I turned to look at her. Before I could question her, the professor walked in and began the lecture.

I picked up the envelope and looked at it, certain who it was from. My name on the front was in an elegant script, and I was sure it was from Edward. Considering I hadn't turned on my phone since he blew it up on Sunday, I was sure he'd resorted to other means of communication, but really? What was left to say?

I picked it up and caught her attention. I started to rip it in half, rather dramatically, but she jerked it out of my hand. "Do _not_ be a pussy. Open it."

"Miss, uh, Weber? Would you care to add something to mutation of genes?"

I saw her face was glowing with embarrassment, and as much as I wanted to feel pity for her predicament, I was gloating a little.

"No, sir. Please, continue." She gave me a harsh look and glanced at the envelope. After the mortification I'd just caused her, I decided to open the fucking thing.

_Jasper –_

_I understand my behavior on Sunday was a bit over the top, but I haven't seen Edward in a while. He and I were roommates during freshman year, and we're good friends, but nothing more. We were never compatible. _

_When I whispered in his ear, I asked him if you were available because I think you're absolutely adorable. His response was a definite "no." _

_Just give the boy a chance. He's a fucking mess, and well, it's my fault, so call him. I've never seen him so fucked up._

_Seth Clearwater_

I glanced toward Angela and saw a smug smile on her face. Okay, I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion, but hell, it wasn't inconceivable.

I continued to take notes, suffered through the lab, and when I got back to the dorm room, I opened the envelope on top of the basket on my bed.

_Squid –_

_I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression regarding why I sent you to the diner when I knew Seth was working. It wasn't because I don't want you with Cullen. Hell, I think you might be the best thing that's happened to the lad in a long time, but he's going to have to change, and well, I think you might be the guy he'd do it for, and I wanted to enlist Seth's help in getting you kids together. Guess it backfired._

_If it doesn't happen, I'd still like to have you as a friend, broken nose and all. You've got a hell of a right, kid. Jake's sporting a huge bruise on his chest I kiss every night. He's impressed as well._

_Don't be a stranger, kiddo. Even Heidi was upset, and really, that bitch has no feelings for anyone. _

_Call me sometime, but call Cullen, will ya? That hang dog look is too much to take._

_Em_

I was a Whitlock. We Whitlocks were a stubborn bunch, to say the least. It was that stubbornness that made my father go off in the middle of the night with a kiss to my forehead and a quick good-bye when he got the call even with my mother begging him to retire. It was his job, as he'd tell her, and he was going to do it.

It was what made Rosalie decide to stay in New York and work instead of returning to Seattle after she graduated from NYU the next spring. She was going to make her own way without any help, and unfortunately, it caused her not to stay in contact because Mom wasn't happy about the decision. I ended up just being collateral damage in the situation because Rose didn't talk to me either.

It was what made my mother, a nurse, take extra shifts at the hospital to pay the mortgage instead of paying off the house with my dad's death benefit.

The Whitlock stubbornness was a blessing and a curse, but I suffered from it as well, so instead of calling Edward as I wanted to, I decided he needed to be the pursuer if he was remotely interested.

I put away the clothes in the basket, and flopped down on the bed, thinking about the possibilities. I wanted to believe Edward Cullen was interested in me, but hell, maybe it was an act. I wasn't the best looking guy, and God knew, I had no fucking game when it came to romance. There was no plausible reason why he should be interested in me, as gorgeous as he was.

And then, the "buts" came. _But, he seemed interested. But, he'd given me my first blow job, and he'd kissed me a lot. But, he took me out on a date, and he let me take him out on a date, though it ended pretty badly. But, he'd gotten his friends to intercede on his behalf._

All of the "buts" led me to one conclusion. He'd put himself out there, sending me texts I hadn't read, voicemails I hadn't listened to, and even enlisting his friends to help. It was time for me to actually man-up and call him. No, I'd go over to his house and take back the basket. I'd listen to what he had to say, and I'd see where it left us. It was the fair thing to do.

##

I knocked on the door of Edward's apartment, basket in hand. I'd worked my shift at the book store, and I'd decided to go straight there instead of home to change. I didn't know Edward's class schedule, and maybe he had an early class the next day which meant he'd want to go to bed early, so it was best to go sooner rather than later.

"Bookstore? Thanks for bringing the basket back." With that, the Whore slammed the door in my face. God, I hated that woman.

I knocked again, and when she opened it, she had a very unattractive scowl on her face. "What? Cullen's not alone, so unless you want to bust up a party, I'd say call him first." Then, she closed the door again, the fucking bitch.

When it opened as I was about to leave, I was relieved to see it was Jake. Of course, the bitch was complaining in the background, but I heard Emmett yelling at her as well.

"Get the fuck over it, Heidi. If you don't like living with us, then get another place to live. We're all tired of your bullshit, so pack up and move out. Hell, maybe you should consider getting into a program."

"Come on in, Jasper. This ain't anything new, trust me. She's high, and Edward's alone in his room. There's no one here. He's been fucked up since Saturday afternoon, and seriously, don't listen to anything that bitch says," Jake explained.

"What's her problem with me?" I really wanted to know.

Jake laughed. "You made her look stupid at the bookstore. Look, she's Emmett's friend, and she wasn't always as fucked up as she is now. She's hooked on something, and she has daddy issues from what I can tell. She's not happy unless everyone around her is miserable, so that's why she said that shit to you about Edward having someone with him.

"He's been miserable, and she thrives on it, doing everything she can to perpetuate it. You can't let her get to you. Go on back and put all of us out of our misery, please?"

I nodded and walked down the hall, knocking on Edward's bedroom door. The music was blaring, so I knocked louder. "Goddammit, go the fuck away. I'm busy, and I'm sick of you fucks bothering me."

I tried the handle, finding it locked, so I banged again, not sure what would happen when he opened it. "Jesus fuck!" He tore the door open, and the look of shock on his face surprised me.

He hadn't shaved, and I didn't think he'd showered, based on the way his beautiful hair was plastered down. He was in a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt, and he was scowling. When it registered it was me standing there, he looked down at the floor, and he just stood there.

"You enlisted the help of my friends and yours, so what do you want? I'm here."

He stepped aside, so I walked into his room, seeing a chaotic mess. The last time I was in his room, it was meticulous, so the disaster wasn't something I was prepared for at all. "What happened in here?" I asked, seeing drawers and clothes on the floor. There were papers everywhere, and there was actually a broken clock on the floor in the corner with a very visible break in the drywall.

"Uh, someone broke in. Why are you here, Jasper?"

I wanted to laugh at his lame excuse, but he was trying to save face, and I remembered what that was like from back in high school, so I wouldn't humiliate him.

"I came to return the basket and well, Seth and Emmett offered some explanations I wasn't getting out of you, so I came to hear you out. Now, I know you've called and texted me, and I haven't responded, nor have I read them, but I'm here.

"I know your type, Edward, and you're not the type of guy to have a relationship. You've told me that time and again, and I believe it. Thing is, I _am_ the type of guy to want a relationship. I sure didn't think so, but after this weekend, I figured it out.

"So, I'm here to offer both of us an end. I like you a lot, but I can't just be friends with you. I also can't stand the thought of trying to be something else to you and then running into you with another guy on campus. I thought I could, but hell, it turns out I can't. I'm not expecting to meet my Mr. Right any time soon, but I like the idea he might be out there. I can't date someone who dates a lot of other people at the same time. I'm sure you're not one to date just one guy, so let's just let it go."

I said my piece, and after standing there for five minutes with him just staring at me, I couldn't take it any longer. "I really hope you find what you're looking for, just as much as I hope I do."

I opened the bedroom door and walked down the hallway to the front door. I took a deep breath and walked out. If what I felt was closure…it fucking sucked.

\\\

_**I know you want things to come together, and they will eventually, but…it'll get worse before it gets better. I'm not dragging it out for no reason, I swear. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thank you for your reviews. I understand the frustration, but this is the pivotal chapter, and I know you're going to be pisses it's so short, but I can't go into the deets of it. WARNING: This chapter contains sexual violence. I tried to keep it subtle, but it's still ugly. If I lose some of you, I understand, but I warned you up front.**_

_**Smeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

10. Helloween

##

"Come on, it's the Sig Phi Halloween party. Go with us," Bella begged at lunch on the day before Halloween.

"Nope." No parties for me. Especially knowing Jacob was a brother there and the chances of running into Edward were high. I'd avoided any situation wherein I might run into him, so I wasn't ready to open the wound anytime soon.

I'd spoken with my mother and she was expecting me to make the trip home for the anniversary of my father's death which was the first weekend of November. There was no way I was going to a party the night before that. Eric had actually agreed to drive me to Forks and spend the weekend, so I needed to pack. Bella and Angela, well, I'd finally come to the realization they needed to grow up as much as me.

"God, you've turned into an old woman," Angela bitched.

"I've got a long drive tomorrow, and I'm not doing it hung over. I also refuse to dress up, so you two hookers are on your own. Just remember, make your own drinks and don't accept anything from anyone else. I need to get to class, but I'll talk to you over the weekend. Tell Em I said hi."

Angela grabbed my hand. "Jazz, Em and Jake broke up."

That brought me back to my chair. "Seriously? Why?" I asked. They seemed so right for each other, and hell, I couldn't believe it.

"I ran into Emmett the other day. Seems Jake's committed to stay in Washington and go back to the reservation to teach for a few years because his tribe helped with his tuition. Emmett wants to go back to North Carolina where his family is, and well, they decided to end it now rather than later.

"On a high note, Heidi moved out. Apparently, she overdosed or something, and when Emmett called her parents, they took her back to Chicago to rehab. He said it's the only bright spot in the house. They're looking for a roommate," Angela explained.

"Oh." Yet another genius moment for me. Emmett had called, but I didn't call him back. I figured it was something to do with Edward, so I deleted the voicemails. I felt horrible for it.

"I'll call him. I had no idea," I commented as I cleared the table and went to the trash.

We walked out and Bella pulled me down, kissing my cheek. Damn, she was short. "Jasper, you need to either go tell Edward how you feel or move on. You're not in a good place right now, and it breaks my heart. Think about it this weekend, will you? Talk to Momma about it."

I nodded, smiling at the fact Angela and Bella called my mom "Momma." Hell, my mother loved them as much as she loved me, and it really made me happy. "I'll think about it. Have fun, but don't go home with any sleazy guys, please?"

They both laughed. "No promises, Whitlock," Angela called as they went to their dorm.

After class, I was walking back to the dorm and decided to call Emmett. "Squid? I thought you were fucking dead," he greeted after the first ring.

"Hey, Em. You busy tonight? I know there's a party, but I'm not going."

I heard a deep breath over the line. "I'm not busy at all. Can we do something? Wanna grab a couple of beers and play some pool? You still got that fake ID?"

"Yep. What time?" We made plans, and I went to my room, changed out my books, and made my way to my last class. When I got back to the room later, I found a note from Eric.

_Jasper – Sorry to ditch you, but Ty got hurt so I'm on a plane to Georgia. I'll call you. Stay strong, sweetie. Eric xoxo_

Well, that wasn't good because I didn't have a ride home. I couldn't blame him for going, but hell, I needed to figure out how to get home, and I knew the bus was my only way. I went to my laptop and pulled up the schedule, seeing I'd need to leave early in the morning to catch a bus to get me to Forks in time for the ceremony.

I started to book a ticket, but the fucking WiFi in the dorm went down, and really? How many people were taking a bus from Seattle to Forks on an early Saturday morning? I could show up and get a ticket, I was sure.

I showered and dressed, not really giving a shit how I looked. I met Em in front of the bar he'd suggested, and when he saw me, I could tell he was suffering just as much as me. He looked like shit, much as I was sure I did.

"Shit, Squid, you look as bad as me," he commented as he gave me a crushing hug.

When he released me, I caught my breath and smiled at him, happy to see him after several weeks. "Thanks for the compliment, jackoff. What the hell is going on?" I asked as I followed him inside the bar.

I went to the desk to get balls, and after they checked my ID, the lady smiled and handed over a tray. We were directed to table eight, and after Em racked them, I ordered us both beers. We flipped for the first shot, and when the beer was delivered, I paid the waitress.

"Here, drink up. What the hell happened, Emmett?" I asked as I took my shot, him having missed his last.

"Fucking reality, Jasper. I'll graduate next June with my degree in education, but I'll have to do my certification work in North Carolina where I plan to live. Jake's been doing his along with finishing his degree, and he's going back to LaPush to teach. Heidi isn't ready to grow up, so she OD'd in order to get out of facing reality, and the other day, I walked into the apartment and found Edward crying into a pair of boxers. Shit is upside down, and I don't know how to handle it."

I took a deep breath and a sip of my beer. I really had no business offering him any advice because I was just beginning my college career, and I really didn't know what I wanted to do, but one thing seemed obvious he wasn't saying, so I pulled up my long pants and ventured into unknown waters.

"I know you think I'm an idealistic kid, but I'm going to ask you something, and you don't have to answer, but it seems obvious to me. Do you love Jake? Is he the guy you could make a life with?"

Without answering, he got up from his stool and took a shot that was supposed to be mine, but I wasn't going to stop him. I ordered us two more beers and sat on the hard, wooden stool while he walked around the table to contemplate his next shot.

He slammed the stick on the floor and walked over to me. He placed his hands on both sides of my face and looked into my eyes. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he smiled. "You need to give my boy another shot. He's ass over appetite about you, and I totally understand it now. He's miserable, Jasper. I think he's able to change with the right incentive. I think you're the right incentive. If I wasn't ass over appetite about Jake, I'd try to get your attention." He kissed my forehead and backed away.

I was stunned, but I was flattered. Emmett was hot...really fucking hot, and if he was being honest and not just trying to stoke my ego, he could be interested in me? That was pretty fucking great to hear.

We didn't discuss it anymore, and after we played a couple of games of pool, had a few beers, and shared some chicken wings, we walked out of the bar. "What's up for you this weekend?" Em asked.

"I've gotta take a bus out to Forks tomorrow morning. It's the anniversary of my dad's death, and my sister is too fucking selfish to come home. Eric was gonna go with me, but Tyler got hurt so he went to Georgia. We go to the cemetery and lay a wreath, and I can't let Mom do it alone.

"Thanks for going out with me tonight. I wasn't looking forward to spending it alone," I offered. We were at the point where we needed to go our separate ways. His home was in one direction, and my dorm was in the other.

"A bus? That seems harsh. You want some company? I've got nothing going on this weekend," he offered. It was actually the best news I'd heard in a long time.

"It'll be depressing, but my mom's a good cook. We lived in Texas when I was little, and well, she's from Austin. I can guarantee you good food," I taunted, knowing Emmett's weakness.

He laughed. "What time should we leave?"

"If we leave by seven, we can be there by eleven. Mom will be happy about that. We can have lunch, and then she and I can go to the cemetery. You don't have to go with us, but I'd appreciate having a friend around after," I responded.

He hugged me. "Kiddo, we can all use a friend. I'll pick you up at seven. I'll bring coffee. Thanks again for coming out tonight, Jasper."

I nodded and went my way while he went his. I saw a lot of drunken people dressed in costumes, and I laughed. They were partying their asses off, and for a hot minute, I wished I'd had it in me to dress up and go to a party. Maybe next year?

##

I opened the door to my dorm room seeing it was dark, which was unusual because I'd left on a light when I'd gone to meet Emmett. I flipped the switch beside the door for the harsh florescent, and suddenly I was grabbed from behind and had something put over my mouth. I was shoved face first onto Eric's bed, and something was put over my head to block my view.

"Hello, Jasper. I told you we weren't done," I heard. I'd know that fucking voice, and as I began struggling, there was another set of hands on me.

"You've got to hold him down to get the jeans off him," I heard.

The next thing I knew, I was being tied to the bed, and as much as I struggled, it was no use. My jeans were down, along with my boxers, and…fuck, it was awful. I had what I was guessing was tape over my mouth so I couldn't scream, and there was pain. There was a lot of grunting as I was violated in the most awful way, and then it stopped, only to start again, only more painfully. There was laughing, and more grunting, and I closed my eyes and tried to remember happier times. I removed myself from that moment and thought of other things. Riding my bike. Swimming. Learning to box from my dad, which wasn't helping me at all in the moment.

I don't know how long they were there or how many times they hurt me, but at some point, I lost track of everything and well, I welcomed the darkness. If I'd survive it? That was anyone's guess.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you for your thoughts. I know it was hard, and this one isn't going to be any easier. I expect you'll crucify me, but this is the story I'm telling.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

11. Hell on Earth

##

I woke to the sound of loud banging, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the thing on my head that had blocked my sight was gone, but the tape was still there. I could actually move my arms, which I remembered had been tied the night before, so I reached up and pulled off the tape. I was still naked from the waist down, and as I moved to roll onto my back, I felt the fucking pain.

I sat up, gasping because it fucking hurt, and I grabbed my boxers that were tossed on the floor. I pulled them on and walked to the door, opening it to find Emmett with a cup of coffee in each hand and a donut bag hanging out of his mouth. When he got a look at me, the donut bag fell to the floor.

"Jasper, what happened?" I was blocking the door because I didn't know how much evidence of what had happened was visible, but _me_ blocking Emmett was like using a piece of cardboard to stop a speeding dump truck.

I knew I didn't want anyone to know what had happened because it was humiliating, and I didn't want to deal with pity or sideways looks as the gossip spread about the poor little fag who got raped in his dorm room. "Sorry, man, I overslept. Let me just get some shit together and we'll get on the road."

I hurried into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My mouth was really red where I'd pulled off the duct tape, and I had a bruise on my cheek that was going to be impossible to hide. There were a couple of bite marks on my neck, one of which looked like it had bled based on the spots on my t-shirt, and well, my body ached like I'd been hit by that speeding dump truck.

I stepped over to the commode to take a piss, and when I moved my boxers down, I felt them brush against my ass, and I felt completely disgusting. There was no way I could go to my mom's in the mess I was in, so I was going to have to take a shower. I finished peeing and tried to clean myself up a little with a wash cloth so I could go back out into the room and grab my stuff to shower. As I went to toss it into the hamper, I noticed there was pink on it. I pulled down my boxers and saw there was a little blood, and that was when I started to cry.

I couldn't hold back the sobs, and standing there crying like a baby only added to the shame. There was a knock on the door, and before I could tell Emmett to go away, the door flew open. He was across the room in two long strides, and pulled me into his muscular chest.

"Jasper, tell me what the fuck happened? Do _not_ lie to me and say nothing because there's blood on Eric's bed, and I found a piece of duct tape I'd bet matches that mark over your mouth. Tell me."

I couldn't speak. I could only sob, but I shook my head 'no' that I wasn't saying it out loud. His hands were running up and down my back, and it only made me cry harder because it hurt really fucking bad. Finally, my stomach had enough, and I pushed him away just in time to get to the commode where I lost what was in my stomach. I couldn't seem to stop, even after my stomach was empty, and I prayed I'd die.

Emmett was standing behind me, rubbing my back and offering me a clean towel and a glass of water. I rinsed my mouth, flushed the toilet, and stood up with his help. I saw him glance down at my shirt and without a word he pulled it off of me. I froze.

"No, no. You puked on it. I'm not going to hurt you, Jasper. Hon, I think you need to let me take you to a hospital. You shouldn't shower first because they'll need to examine you and we'll need to bring your shirt along." I knew he was right, but there was no fucking way I was going to any hospital.

"No way. I'm not going to the fucking hospital, Emmett. I don't want anyone to know about this. You gotta swear you won't tell anyone. We won't talk about it ever again, do you understand? I'll be the freak of the school if anyone finds out," I begged. The tears were still falling, and they must have gotten to him because he nodded.

I grabbed my shower stuff and went to my room to get clean clothes. I pulled on a pair of sweats over my dirty boxers and bent over to get a clean t-shirt, feeling the pain again. I heard Emmett gasp, and I quickly turned around to see him standing there wide-eyed.

"Jasper, who wrote that on your back?" I looked over my shoulder, as if I could screw my head around to see anything.

"What's it say?"

"_This ass is mine_. It's in black marker." Fuck, now I couldn't even take a goddamn shower in the shower room without fear of someone seeing it because I was pretty sure it wasn't coming off any time soon.

I looked at Eric's bed, seeing a fucking Sharpee there without the cap. It had made a huge ink mark on Eric's blanket, and I knew it wasn't coming out of that either. Eric was going to be heartbroken, and I had no idea how I'd explain it to him.

I sat on my bed and cried, hard. Just when I thought things were getting better, the Universe bitch slapped me to remind me I wasn't destined to be happy, ever. Em sat down next to me and wrapped a beefy arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I felt a kiss to the top of my head and it only made me cry harder.

When I finally finished crying, he handed me the towel I'd unconsciously brought with me from the bathroom, and I wiped my face again. "Okay. Are you still going to your Mom's?"

"I have to, Em. You don't have to go with me…" I began.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Don't even say it. So, new plan. We pack your shit, and you and me go back to my place. You can take a shower in my bathroom, and we'll see if we can find something to get that off your back. I need to change my shirt because you got snot all over me, and then we'll head out."

I looked at him and he smiled tenderly. "Come on, now. We need to get going." He went to my closet and grabbed a duffel bag, tossing it to me. I did as he said and packed my stuff for the weekend. I pulled on a sweatshirt and my trainers, and I gathered up the things off Eric's bed, stuffing them into a trash bag. I'd take them home and try to get them clean, and if I couldn't, then I'd buy Eric another comforter and try to come up with a plausible lie as to what had happened to his other one.

We walked slowly out to Emmett's Jeep, and after we were inside and on the way to his place, something popped into my addled brain. _Edward._ "Fuck, Em, Edward's going to be there. I don't want to fucking see him. I don't want him to see me like _this_."

He sighed. "I wish to fuck you'd tell me who did this!" I shook my head that I wasn't saying a word, so he continued.

"Fine. Regarding Ed, I dumped his drunken ass into bed when I got home last night, and based on the amount of whiskey missing from the bottle, he won't be waking up anytime soon. You can shower and change and we can be out of there without him knowing anything about it. I really do think you need to go to the hospital, Jasper."

Again, I knew he was right, but again, I wasn't about to tell anyone what happened. "Em, you're relieved of all responsibility regarding my refusal to go to the hospital. After I get a shower, I'm never going to think about this again, and I suggest you do the same."

"Oh, yeah, I'll just _forget _that my very good friend was attacked in his own fucking dorm room. Was it random, or do you know who did it?"

"I don't guess you'd believe I'm into BDSM and it was completely consensual," I joked inappropriately.

He grabbed my left arm and looked at my wrist, noticing the raw skin. "You were fucking tied up?" He pounded his fist on the steering wheel, catching me by surprise.

"Emmett, let it go."

We drove the rest of the way in silence, and I was grateful Edward wasn't up when we got there. Emmett directed me to his room and showed me where things were in his bathroom. "Okay, kid, I'm gonna go forage for something that might get that ink off your back. Take your time." He pulled the bedroom door closed behind him, and I went into his bathroom, stripping out of my clothes and getting into the hot spray of the shower.

I knew my skin was going to be bright red when I got out, but I felt like the hot water was the only thing that could get me clean…as clean as I was ever going to be again. My soul would never be clean again because I was, as I was coming to realize, now damaged goods. My heart, which was just starting to heal after Edward, was shattered beyond recognition, and as I stood under that spray, I made a promise to myself I would never be weak again. I wouldn't let anyone in, and I'd never feel the pain of loss again. If you don't get close to people, you don't miss them when they leave you.

I scrubbed my skin ruthlessly, and after I got out, I looked into the mirror over the bathroom sink, seeing how red my skin was after my scalding. At least it would explain why my eyes were so fucking bloodshot. I turned around to see the writing on my back and fought back more fucking tears. I was done crying.

The letters looked a little raised, which made me wonder how fucking hard they'd pressed when they wrote the filthy words. I quickly finished drying off and pulled on my boxers and a pair of loose jeans. I combed my hair and pulled it back, reminding myself I needed to get a haircut, and I went to Emmett's room and sat down on the bed to wait for him.

I heard yelling, and I got up from the bed and cracked the door. Apparently, Edward was up, and he and Emmett were going at it pretty good.

"_You fucking know how I feel about him. You're a cocksucker, Emmett."_

"_Hey, you should have pursued him, douche. It's not my fault you failed to realize if you didn't show interest in him, someone else…who doesn't have commitment issues, by the way…would fall for him. Let's face it, you fucked this up, and I'm not sorry about it in the least."_

"_I hope he rips your fucking heart out and stomps on it."_

"_Like you did his?"_

I closed the door and my eyes, wondering what the fuck to do. I didn't want them fighting over me, and I didn't know what Em had told him about us. Shit just kept getting worse.

A few minutes later, Emmett came back in with an armload of shit. "What's all that?" I asked, picking up a container of salt, a can of hairspray, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and hand sanitizer. He dropped everything on the bed and went to the bathroom, returning with a roll of toilet paper.

"Okay, I Googled this and they said to try some of this stuff, so I brought it all. Let's start with rubbing alcohol, since that seems to be a theme in the ingredients of all the rest of this shit except salt. It also said toothpaste and mouthwash, but since you've already showered and that particular solution has the potential to make a mess, we'll save it as a last resort."

I nodded and turned with my back to him. "I heard you and Edward yelling. What did you tell him?"

"He heard the shower and asked if Jake was here. Since he was up, I knew I couldn't…"

Suddenly, I screamed. "FUCK! That burns!" I winced away and turned to see a look of shock on Emmett's face. He turned the toilet paper to me and I saw some of the ink from the marker, along with blood. Oh, I had a very bad feeling.

"Jasper, hon, whoever did this to you, he wanted to be sure you didn't forget it anytime soon. He carved the words into your back with something to pierce the skin, and then he went over it with a marker. It's a prison tat…"

Just then, the door flew open, and Edward rushed in, tackling Emmett. "What the fuck are you doing to him?" He had Emmett on the floor, and he was about to _try_ to beat the fuck out of him. I quickly grabbed Edward's raised fist with both hands to stop him.

"Don't! It's not his fault!" Edward turned around from his seat on Emmett's chest, and when he saw me, he quickly got up, pulling up my face by my chin.

"Did Emmett hit you?" he snapped. I was aware I was standing there without a shirt, and God knew I didn't want him to see my back. If he saw it, he'd ask questions I didn't want to answer, and I was afraid that _weak Jasper_ would confess things that could never be unsaid.

"Of course he didn't hit me. I got into a fucking fight at a bar last night. You need to leave, okay? I'm taking Em home to meet my mom, and we need to get on the road." I backed over to the door and stood with my back to the wall.

Em got up from the floor and walked over to where I stood, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Edward, I didn't hurt Jasper. I'd never, ever hurt Jasper, and you know that. I can't…"

Suddenly, Em grabbed me and pulled me into his chest, holding me tightly before I knew what was happening. I heard Edward gasp, and I went limp. I'd trusted Emmett, and he'd just broken that trust. I was truly, truly alone.

\\\

_**Don't get pissed. **_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Goodness gracious! You're all ready to hang me! I understand the frustration with Jasper not going to the hospital, and I'm with you, but he has some strong opinions that will matter later in the story, so please don't shoot me yet.**_

_**Thank you for your reviews. I appreciate your passion for this story, and I'm happy we have hit 100! Thank you.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

12. Aftermath

##

"Oh, God, who did this? What happened?" Edward gasped. My legs buckled, and if Em wouldn't have been holding me up, I'd have fallen to the floor.

I looked into Emmett's eyes which had tears, and I asked, _"Why?"_ It was barely above a whisper, but I had to know why he'd do the one thing I'd begged him not to do.

Tears were rolling down Em's cheeks, and I felt mine dripping on my chest. I'd thought I was cried out, but apparently, I wasn't.

"Because, Jasper, it's going to take more than me to get you through this. Since you refuse to go to the hospital, and I'm guessing the cops are a no-go, you've got to let us help you. You won't tell me who did this, and since I can't be two places at once, I need someone to help keep you safe."

I pulled away and walked over to my duffel, grabbing a black t-shirt and pulling it on. I turned to the two of them and took a deep breath. "It's no big deal, okay? The ink will wear off eventually, and I can take care of myself. If there hadn't been two of them and they hadn't surprised me, it never would have…" _Fuck! _Based on the look on both of their faces, they'd heard my word vomit and caught every word.

"There were two of them?" Edward snapped, eyes wide.

"They taped his mouth shut and tied him to the fucking bed," Emmett added, the fucker.

Edward stepped in front of me, reaching out and then thinking better of it when I flinched in anticipation of his touch. "Jasper, you need to go to the hospital. Fuck, did they even use condoms?"

More fucking tears. "Nope. I'm just a dirty whore now," I whispered as I dried my eyes. I sat down, gingerly, on the bed and pulled on my socks. It was a bit dramatic, but I didn't notice a condom or an empty package, so my life would be filled with testing every three-to-six months. Welcome to Gaydom!

I turned to look at the two of them, both crying, and I decided the time for self-pity was over. "Look, this has been fun, but I need to get to Forks. As it is, I'm going to have to get the ten o'clock bus, which puts me at not getting there until two. I need to call Mom and see if she can push the time for the memorial service so I don't miss it. Thanks for letting me shower here, Em. I'll see you guys around," I tossed out as I grabbed my shit and headed to the kitchen for a bottle of water so I could take two pain relievers I'd found in Emmett's bathroom.

Emmett came strolling in with Edward behind him. "Dude, if you think I'm going to let you take the fucking bus, you're crazy. You can rant and rave at me for four hours. Let's go. Ed, we'll be back sometime on Sunday."

"Oh, you think I'm not coming?" He raced down the hallway, and I leaned against the sink. It was the last fucking thing I wanted. I swear to fuck I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

"Em, I don't want him to come. I have enough to deal with without him being there." I sounded fucking pathetic, but it was the truth.

"I'm on it." He walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. Ten minutes later, he came back with Edward following him, thankfully without a bag.

"I won't go. Em explained to me how stressful this weekend is, and I don't want to add to it, but when you get back, we're going to talk, Jasper. There's a lot of shit we need to say to each other, and if I have to tie…sit in the hallway of your dorm until you hear me out, I'll do it." I knew what he was about to say, and it made me a little sick to my stomach. I wasn't sure why, but it did, and I prayed to God it wasn't something I'd have to live with the rest of my life. I prayed for some sort of amnesia to overtake me so I didn't remember being tied to my bed or blindfolded or… _Yeah, not going there._

We finally got on the road, and I was so pissed at Emmett for telling Edward what had happened, I couldn't hold my tongue. "Thanks for being a friend and not going back on your word to keep your fucking pie hole shut. Oh _wait_, you didn't do any of that shit, did you?" I turned to look at him, seeing he looked guilty. _Yeah, he oughta look guilty._

"I know I went back on my word, Jasper, but you need a support system right now. If you don't talk about what happened to you, it'll fester and infect you until the great guy we all know and love will be completely gone. You're too fucking young for that, and if I have it in my power to be sure that doesn't happen, I'll do whatever I have to do.

"I know someone who's had to suffer something similar, and I know how it can affect every aspect of one's life. He finally got help, and if he hadn't, God only knows what would have happened to him. I know, I know, you won't see what I did was out of love, not out of my desire to humiliate you.

"I did it because if you don't talk about it and allow it to take over your life, then they win. They have the control over you, and they'll keep it for the rest of your life. You're too great a guy to go down that road, and I can't stand by, in good conscience, and let it happen." He seemed rather passionate about his position, so I decided to ask what happened.

"Well, Dr. Phil, who _is_ this miracle man who overcame adversity to become a pillar of mental health?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Me."

I whipped my head around to look at him, sure he was kidding. When I looked at his face, I could tell he wasn't. "Seriously?"

"Squid, I wouldn't make something like that up. I was ten. It was my uncle. It went on for two years until my dad caught him and beat him so badly he was in a coma for two months. He and my dad both went to prison, dad for attempted murder, and his brother for about ten different things. He's still in, but my dad's out now, having pled guilty and bargaining for a lesser sentence.

"That's why I want to go back to North Carolina. I took care of my mom while he was doing time, and now they're getting older, so I need to take care of them both. That's why I have to be there. I'm their only kid, and after all the shit went down, nobody in my dad's family speaks to us anymore.

"So, you see, I have an idea about how those types of things can take over your life. I didn't get help until I got arrested for jacking a car as a juvenile, and it was a condition of having my records sealed and keeping my ass out of detention until I was eighteen. I was fifteen at the time, and Mom was having trouble making ends meet because Dad was in prison. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to jack a car and try to sell it for parts. Not the best decision I ever made," he explained.

_Yeah, I was stunned silent. The Em I hung out with and counted as a very good friend didn't give any indication he'd suffered through anything of the sort. He fought his demons, and I needed to really consider how I handled mine._

_##_

"JJ, what happened to your face, honey?" Mom asked as she greeted me and Em at the door. I hugged her and put all other thoughts out of my head. The weekend was about her, and I wasn't going to allow anything else going on in my life to interfere.

"I, uh,…" My mind was suddenly blank.

Emmett laughed. "We were boxing and Jasper let down his guard. I'm Emmett McCarty. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," he responded, turning on the southern charm.

"It's nice to meet one of Jasper's friends. Come in. Hurry and change so we're not late. Reverend Weber was kind enough to give us an extra half hour to start, but he's got a wedding this evening. That nice Stanley girl is getting married. She was in your class, wasn't she?" Mom asked with a soft smile.

I chuckled. "Yeah, um, who's the unlucky bastard?"

She slapped me on the chest. "Jasper Josiah, I won't abide talk like that. She's marrying your old swim coach, Mike Newton. He runs the sporting goods store now."

I laughed as I grabbed Emmett's arm and dragged him toward the stairs. "We'll be down in a minute, Mom." I turned to Emmett about halfway up and whispered, "She was a whore in high school."

He cracked up and followed me down the hallway. I showed him to Rosalie's room and then I went to mine, which looked exactly as it had in high school. I pulled out my grey dress slacks and white shirt, quickly dressing. Just as I was pulling on the uncomfortable black loafers, there was a knock at the door. "Come on in."

Emmett walked in with a really nice black dress shirt and a black and grey tie on a hanger. I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he smiled. "Turn around." I did as he said, and he snorted.

"Fucking Cullen. Here, wear this. It'll be a little big, but not much. Mine would have swallowed you, and I owe the fuck dinner now."

"What's wrong with my shirt? It's not too wrinkled," I complained looking down.

"Actually, it looks like you slept in it, but you can, uh, see through the back of it. Cullen guessed it and sent this for you. He thinks about shit like that. Can you tie a tie?"

"Hell, no."

I pulled off my shirt and pulled on the black one, seeing it was just a little blousy. I buttoned it up and tucked it in while Em stepped in front of me to tie the damn noose. I hadn't worn a tie since the clip on at my high school graduation. I'd never worn a _real_ tie in my life, even to my father's funeral. I was sure Mom would be happy to see me so dressed up, so I didn't complain.

I drove us to the cemetery in Mom's old Buick. She needed a new car, but I knew she'd never entertain the idea. She pointed things out to Emmett as we drove through town, and he listened and smiled, asking questions I was sure he didn't give a shit about hearing answered.

We arrived at the cemetery, and there was a small gathering of people waiting for us. The local VFW had a presence, along with an honor corps, and there were some friends of my parents who my mom still socialized with. There were a few people from the hospital where she worked, and much to my surprise, my sister was there, standing off to the side by herself.

"Mom, did you know Rose was coming?" I whispered as we walked up. Her head whipped to me, and I in turn I nodded in Rose's direction. Mom gasped and started crying as she hurried over to Rosalie. The two of them exchanged hushed words before Mom enveloped her in a huge hug. I saw Rosalie crying, and I decided to keep my distance.

"Who's the hottie?" Emmett whispered.

"My sister, Rose."

"Damn, she's gorgeous. If she had a dick she'd be…"

"Me," I teased. He looked at me and then back to Rose, smiling. For just being half-siblings, Rose and I looked a lot alike.

"Yeah, I guess she would, Squid."

After the ceremony, most of the people came back to Mom's for food. Emmett, Rose, and I helped Mom set up a buffet in the dining room, with several of her friends helped us as well. People had brought food and beer, in my father's honor, and just like every year, I heard stories about what a great guy my dad was and his exploits when he was a kid, growing up with Bella's dad as one of his good friends. Apparently, they were two of the hell-raisers in town which was funny considering their careers as adults.

I was standing in the kitchen while I ate some ham and potato salad when my sister sauntered in. "JJ, how's school?" She was a senior at NYU, and I hadn't really talked to her in years. Even when she was still at home, she didn't talk to me or Mom.

"Good. You?" I knew my voice sounded cold, and as happy as I was that she was there for Mom, I wasn't about to give her any indication I could just forget her basic abandonment of me and Mom after Dad was killed.

Emmett walked over with two beers. "Here, Squid. I didn't figure you could get one for yourself without getting busted by Bella's dad. He actually carded me. He's not much of a talker, is he?"

I laughed. "Not at all. Rosalie, this is my friend, Emmett. Em, this is my sister, Rosalie," I introduced. I saw her eyelashes flutter, and I looked to see Emmett's reaction. He laughed.

"It's nice to meet you. You're brother's pretty fucking spectacular," he responded, not bothering to shake her hand.

She looked between us and rolled her eyes. "Ah, another sausage jockey. Well, isn't that lovely."

"Rose," I warned.

Em laughed. "It's okay, Jasper. See, it's women like you that turned me to men in the first place. So, how come Jasper never talks about you?"

God, I didn't want to get into that shit. "Em, please."

Rosalie snorted and turned to Emmett. "Is that what he says in the bedroom?"

I could see it wasn't setting well with my friend, and I was worried about what was going to come out of his mouth. "Kinda, but it's me saying, '_Jasper, baby, please put that big cock in me.'_ See, in this relationship, he wears the pants. So, who's the masochist adventurous enough to take you on? I've heard about you from Cullen."

At the mention of Edward, she scowled. "That fucking prick. He's a lying douche if he said I came onto him and he turned me down. I never did any such thing. He came onto me, and _I_ told _him _to fuck off. Anyway, are you two butt pirates staying here? My shit's still in the rental car."

"We are. Em can stay in my room with me. I didn't think you'd come, so I set him up in your room, but we'll be fine," I responded.

She looked at me and smirked. "_I'll bet_. Well, you remember Daddy's rule. No fucking under his roof."

I stiffened at her words, and apparently, Em felt it. He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry, sister dear, we can control ourselves, though from what I've heard, you didn't take the Colonel's mandate very seriously. Cullen told me he was surprised your folks didn't put in a revolving door when you were in high school."

I could see she didn't take that well at all, storming off. I turned to Emmett and saw he was pissed. "She's a bitch, okay. I'm used to it, and antagonizing her won't make her play nice, trust me."

"Kid, I'm sorry, but Sissy Dearest has a big fucking chip on her shoulder when it comes to you. Why is that?" I didn't know, so I shrugged.

"Well, she needs to dial back the hate. Anyway, I'll run up and grab my shit. Where can I find extra blankets or a sleeping bag?"

I looked at him with a furrowed brow. "I've got bunk beds, Em. I trust you can control yourself around me."

He smiled and squeezed my forearm. "Jasper, hon, I'll sleep on the floor. I'm not sleeping in a dinky ass bed worrying if I'll break the fucking thing. I like to stretch out. The floor's just fine with me.

"Look, I used to camp with my dad and cousins when I was a kid, so I'm used to sleeping on the ground. Just point me in the right direction." I smiled at my friend and told him to go into the large armoire in the upstairs hallway. He nodded and hurried off.

I walked out onto the back porch and finished my beer, tossing the bottle into the recycle bin. I heard the screen door slam and turned to see my mother walk out with a cigarette in her hand. I knew she only smoked when she was stressed, so I didn't give her shit about it. "Lilly, you know those things are bad for you," I teased.

She jumped, which led me to believe she didn't know I was out there. "Oh, JJ, I didn't see you. You know I only…" I held up my hand and took the lighter from her, striking it and holding it up to light her cigarette.

"I know, Momma. I'm just kidding. So, did you find out why Rose is here? She's been a perfect bitch to me, but I hope she hasn't been the same to you." I meant every word.

"Honey, she's got demons she's fighting, much like we all do. I'm not sure why she's here. I'm just happy she is. So, she told me…in colorful words…that Emmett's your boyfriend. Is that true?"

She had a gentle smile on her face, as if she'd be happy if that was the truth, but I couldn't lie to her. "He's not, Momma. He's a very, _very_ good friend of mine, and he was kind enough to come with me to support me. There's nothing more going on. If I ever meet the right guy, you'll be the second to know," I told her as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"Oh, honey, all your daddy and I ever wanted was for the two of you to be happy. He was so proud of you, even though he didn't really understand you being gay. He tried, though, because he always said it didn't matter what his son chose to do for his life, all he wanted was for you to be healthy and happy. He'd be really proud of you right now with how well you're doing in school. He loved you and your sister very much." God forgive me for the next words out of my mouth, but I needed answers.

"Why does she seem to hate me?" I asked.

Mom sighed. "I don't think she hates you, Jasper. I just think she's always competed for your daddy's attention because she never met her own dad. She never understood how a parent didn't love one child more than the other. She never believed the love inside of you just grows to take in both of your children. I'm not sure why, but I think it's got a lot to do with how much time your daddy spent with you after you told us you were gay. He and Rose used to spend a lot of time working on that old truck together. She was just a baby when your daddy and I got married, and he's the only daddy she ever knew, so she loved spending time with him. As you got older, you had your swimming and your friends, and well, she never made friends easily.

"After all that shit happened to you, your daddy wanted to make sure you could take care of yourself. That meant he spent less time with her, and I think she thought your daddy chose you over her. It wasn't that way, but your sister is as stubborn as you and your daddy. Anyway, just give her space.

"When are you and Emmett going back to school?"

I guess what she said made sense. I remembered Rose and Dad in the garage on weekends when he was home during the summer, and I remember it didn't bother me because I was busy with friends and the Squids…Edward Cullen being a lot of the reason for that distraction.

If she was jealous or whatever, there was nothing I could do about it, so I just let it go. I had enough other shit to deal with, so I just let it go.

##

"Em, you don't have to speed. It's only four o'clock," I told him. He was driving like a fucking maniac, and after the tense weekend, I was more than a little on edge. I was worried about going back to school because I hadn't heard from Eric, and I wasn't looking forward to sleeping in my dorm room alone. I needed to figure out a way to get Felix to have my locks changed without giving anything away.

"Sorry, Squid, but we need to get home as soon as possible. Seth bailed him out, but apparently, he's pretty messed up. I need to see how bad," Em responded cryptically.

I turned to look at him. "Who?" I felt the knot of nerves tighten because I had a good idea, but I needed to hear it.

Em sighed. "I got a call last night while you and Momma were outside sneaking smokes. Edward got arrested last night. He called Seth, and Seth called me. I didn't want the drama to interfere with your time with your family…well, your mom since your sister decided to take off yesterday, so I didn't say anything."

Rosalie blew up in typical fashion because Em and I were in the bathroom. He was trying to get that ink off my back, and she decided we were fucking and pitched a fit. I couldn't tell her what we were doing, so I let her go with her assumption, which pissed her off and caused her to leave. I had to accept that my sister didn't accept my sexual preference, and it was yet another mountain of crap piled on top of everything else. I'd never imagined her to be that way, but I really never understood her in the first place.

We pulled in front of the apartment building, and I followed Emmett inside. We hurried up the stairs, not waiting for the slow as fuck elevator, and when Emmett opened the door, I heard Edward talking inside.

"I understand how disappointed you are, but you really have to trust me that it was necessary. I can't explain it more than that, but I'd do it again. Some things should never happen, and when they do, someone needs to make sure they never happen again."

"No, you don't need to come. It's an assault case, but if things work out the way I hope, the charges will be dropped."

"I love you, too. I'll see you at Thanksgiving. Hey, can I bring someone? I mean, if he doesn't have plans. Yeah, he is. Thanks. Bye."

I looked to Emmett and he shrugged, so we went inside and walked into the living room, seeing Edward sitting on the sofa looking at his phone. "Jailbird, when did ya get out?" Em called as he dropped his duffel in the living room. I stood by, nervously shifting from one foot to the other.

Edward's head snapped up, and he smiled a little when he looked at me. "Jasper, how are you, lo…."

When I saw his face, I hurried over to the couch and looked at the split lip, the black eye, and the bruised jaw. Without thinking, I reached up and gently brushed my fingers across the bruise on his jaw. "What the hell did you do?"

He reached up and took my hand, holding it against his face and closing his eyes, leaning into my palm. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes, but he didn't release my hand. "I can't tell you what happened because I respect the fact you want to keep things private. I'll just say I created a situation wherein I was able to extract a bit of revenge and set up what I hope to fuck is an attempted attack on me."

"Edward, why would you do that?" I asked with incredulity in my voice.

He chuckled. "Jasper, you'd be surprised what one is willing to do for those he cares about."

I turned to look at Emmett, but found him to be missing. I turned back to Edward and saw he was standing, holding out his hand for me. "Can we go talk? Please?"

I took his hand and allowed him to lead me back to his room. Thankfully, he led me to the couch I'd fallen off of and not to the bed. I sat down, still feeling a bit of pain in my backside, and I leaned against the back of the couch resting my head and closing my eyes. I really wanted to catapult six months into the future so all of this shit was behind me, but without the ability to time travel, well, I was fucked.

"Okay, tell me what happened, Edward. You know this is really none of your business," I bitched. Too many people knew what the fuck had happened, and my hopes of keeping it quiet were quickly floating away like so much smoke.

He leaned forward as he sat on the side of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, and then took a deep breath, letting it go slowly. "Under ordinary circumstances, if I was dealing with someone I considered a friend, I'd listen, try to find them some sort of counseling or support group, and then I'd be there for them, offering any care or support they needed."

"I don't need any of that. This shit never happened," I stated firmly and stood from the couch, ready to tempt the fates and walk back to my dorm.

He grabbed my hand and looked deeply into my eyes. "Jasper, love, you _can't_ deny this happened. What we _can_ do is get revenge and make sure it doesn't happen again. I've set it up because I know who the fuck did that to you, and after we deal with them, then we'll look into the options regarding your back."

I sat down on the couch and looked at him. "What's this '_we_' bullshit? There's no '_we_'. You don't want to be a part of a '_we_', Edward. It's you and your slutty lifestyle, and me and my…issue. That's the end of it," I stated firmly.

I sat looking at him and I saw the last thing I wanted to see. _Pity._ "I don't know what you did or what you think you're going to accomplish, but don't include me. I need to go."

I stood to leave, and he grabbed my wrist, which brought a hiss from me. He looked at it and quickly moved his hand. "I'm sorry, Jasper. Look, let me take you back to your dorm and come check your…"

I laughed…though it wasn't happily. It wasn't funny at all. "Oh, so you're going to babysit me? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm fine."

I stormed out and went to Emmett's Jeep, thankful it was still open, and grabbed my shit from the weekend. I walked back to my dorm, and God knew I was aware of who was around me. I'd never be left unaware again. I'd never let anyone put me in that position again.

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_**Neither of them are behaving in a constructive way, I know. It'll get a lot worse before it gets better. I hope you'll stick around.**_

_**Thanks for reading**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Let's all take a deep breath. When I said things would get worse before they got better, I meant the aftermath of Jasper's attack. Not that anything worse would happen to Jasper. Also, I know you're frustrated right now, but I promise, my dears, all will be revealed.**_

_**Thank you for your reviews and for reading. I appreciate each and every one.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

13. Kalifornication

##

"Three of a kind, boys," Edward called proudly as he flipped his cards. I laughed. He reached to grab the pot, and I stilled his hands.

"Sorry, gorgeous. Full house. Deuces and ladies," I announced as I spread my hand of three-twos and two queens. Everyone else had folded, and I was mopping up. It was the Tuesday night before the last day of classes prior to Thanksgiving break. We had a week off, and well, we knew most of us weren't going to class the next day, so as we sat at Edward and Emmett's dining room table with snacks and beers, we were having a good time.

Jake and Emmett were…well, I didn't know what the fuck they were, but they were spending time together again. Edward and I were as well, and Eric, God bless him, was learning to play poker.

He had no idea what had happened to me, but he didn't complain one bit when I propped my desk chair under the door handle in our room even though the lock had been changed. The charges against Edward had been dropped, though I didn't know who had brought them in the first place, and we'd all been hanging out. It actually made me feel a little normal.

"So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?" Emmett asked as he shuffled the cards.

"I'm going back to New York. Ty's doing better, and he's coming home as well, so it will be the strange Asian-slash-soul food Thanksgiving. My mom's looking forward to it," Eric stated and then laughed. He was a little bit more than drunk, and I cracked up at him.

"I'm going to North Carolina," Jake announced as he took Emmett's hand and smiled. That was a development I didn't expect, but more power to them.

"I'm going back to Cali," Edward stated as he finished his beer and asked if anyone wanted more.

My mom was going to New York to see Rosalie, and I'd encouraged her because it seemed Rose was actually trying with Mom. Bitch wasn't trying with me, but I wasn't going to sweat it.

I, however, was stuck with either staying at school or going to Forks to spend the holiday with Bella and her dad. It really didn't sound fun, so I decided to stay at school. I'd already put in the paperwork to stay in the one dorm they were going to keep open for those of us who had nowhere to go, and I had a coupon for a place on campus for a free Thanksgiving buffet.

I was a little nervous about staying somewhere strange. Actually, I was fucking terrified at the idea of sharing a room with a stranger. The only thing worse than staying with a stranger…having to stay by myself.

As long as Eric was in the dorm room with me, I was fine, but when he wasn't there, I didn't sleep at all. I sat on my bed with a can of pepper spray that had been a high school graduation gift from Chief Swan, and I waited. I knew that fuck would come back sometime, but I'd be ready for him.

"Well, Alder Hall is the designated pity motel for those of us who aren't going home, so I'm staying here. Mom's in New York with Rose, so I'm staying on campus. I've got a coupon to the 'Rotunda' for dinner, so I've got that going for me," I stated sarcastically as I got up to go take a leak.

After I finished in the bathroom next to Edward's room, I opened the door and walked out. I felt a hand on my wrist, and when my head whipped around, I turned to see him standing there with a smile. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I cringed and pulled my hand away, not wanting to be touched. He kept trying to get me to talk about shit I didn't want to talk about. I was about to kick the fucker in the nuts.

"Sorry. Um, will you come in here for a minute? I won't touch you." I nodded, following him. I was definitely averse to physical contact of any kind, and I was grateful my friends, for the most part, respected it.

The list of things I couldn't do or wouldn't tolerate was growing every day, and I knew it wasn't good. Em had tried to talk to me about it, but every time he brought shit up, I either walked away or hung up on him. He tried to get me to go with him to some support group, which I told him was just a club for whiners. I immediately felt bad after I said it because apparently, he attended it on a weekly basis, but there was no fucking way I was going to sit around in some fucking Kumbiya circle and spill my guts. That was not the Jasper J. Whitlock way.

"What's up, Cullen?" I asked, looking at the shit on his bookcase to keep from looking into his eyes. He seemed to be able to see into my soul when he looked at me directly, so I avoided eye contact with him, as well as most other people, as much as possible.

He walked over to his desk and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to me. I opened it and saw a boarding pass with my name on it. Destination, LAX. The purchase date was shortly after Halloween, and I wondered what the fuck he was thinking.

"What's this for?" I looked up to see a pink tinge on his gorgeous face, which was surprising because he was the cockiest son-of-a-bitch I'd ever met. Nothing embarrassed him…ever.

"I don't want you staying here by yourself over the break. I want you to come home with me. My parents want to meet you. I talked to them a few weeks ago, and they're really excited to meet you. They'll be very disappointed if you don't show." _Oh, he thought parental guilt would help him get his way? I wanted to laugh._

"Well, God knows I hate to burst your bubble, but we all have to learn how to get over disappointment. I gave in when you told me I needed to go to a doctor because my back got infected, and I had to endure lying to the woman and telling her it was a prank. If I didn't think it would have been a slow death, I'd have let it kill me. I also did those fucking blood tests so I'll have advance warning if one of those fucks gave me some disease because you told me it was best to find out sooner rather than later. You've guilted me into enough shit for a good long time.

"So, thanks but no thanks. I hope this is refundable," I told him as I handed the paper back to him and turned to leave. I pulled the door open, but his hand slammed it closed.

I turned to look at him, cocking an eyebrow. "Do you not remember that ass beatin' I gave you at the gym the other day?" reaching up to touch the fading bruise on his cheek.

We worked out together. It was a way to keep my anxiety and panic under control, and when he'd suggested it, I said no at first. Unfortunately, he wouldn't take no for an answer and kept bugging me about it until I finally gave in to get him to shut the fuck up. Two days a week, we swam – me wearing a t-shirt in the pool – and two days a week we sparred. He was better at it than I thought, but I'd been putting on weight and building up muscle, and of late, I could hold my own. I got the better of him on Sunday afternoon.

He smiled. "I do, and if you don't want me to reciprocate tomorrow morning at the pool, you'll pack your shit tonight and be on that plane with me tomorrow afternoon.

"Look, it's depressing as fuck for you to stay on campus for the holiday, and a change of scenery will do you good. I cashed in some frequent flyer miles for your ticket, so if you don't go, it'll be a waste. My mom makes a great turkey, and we have a great pool and tennis court. I can show you around LA, and we can just chill for a few days without worrying about homework and school.

"Please come. I really want you to meet my mom and dad, and they really want to meet you," he continued.

"Cullen, the only reason to take someone home for a holiday to meet the parents is if you're more than friends with the person. We're not more than friends because neither of is capable of more than friends," I reminded. Me, for obvious reasons, and him, because he's a male whore with commitment issues.

"That's not true because you took Emmett with you to Forks a few weeks ago for the memorial service. You two aren't _more_ are you?" Well, he had me there, but Em actually drove me, so that was a special situation.

"Em drove me there. It wasn't because…fuck. Edward, don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I complained.

He sat down on the bed and raked his hands through his messy hair. It was longer than usual because he was waiting until he got back to LA to go to his regular _stylist_. Not much about him gave off a gay vibe but his vanity regarding his appearance was definitely a tell.

He looked up at me and his eyes were shining. It was almost as if he was about to…_no, no way. _"Edward, I appreciate your invitation. Fuck, I appreciate everything you and Em have done to keep me from falling into the abyss that hovers just on the horizon, but I'm over that shit now, okay? Hell, I might be ready to start dating again," I lied.

There was no fucking way I was ready to start dating. My dick got hard when I thought about him, just like always, but if I even touched it to try to alleviate the pressure, the shit that ran through my head when I visualized certain things deflated me like a nail in a tire. I guessed I'd never be able to come again. That was part of the reason why I worked out so much. The sexual frustration was killing me.

What I'd said about dating seemed to piss him off, and just as he was about to say something, he closed his mouth. After a minute, he smiled slyly. "Okay, so you're ready to get out there again. What better place to get your feet wet than in LA? There are some great clubs there, and you can test the water without pressure because if it doesn't go well, you won't see the guy again. I'll call a couple of my friends, and we can go out on Saturday night. Bring your fake ID."

I thought about the prospect of meeting a stranger, and while I knew I wouldn't hook-up, maybe learning how to talk to a guy I was interested in wouldn't hurt. I mean, Edward would be there, and who else better to learn from than the master? "These friends…are they fuck buddies?" I didn't think I could stand to meet more of his hook-ups. I'd had my share of meeting them as we walked around campus. I didn't need more reminders of his usual behavior.

"Nope. They're a couple. Gianna's parents live down the street from mine, and I met them a couple of summers ago. There are no fuck buddies to ruin the weekend. I've gone out with Gia and Chelsea during the summers when I've been home, and they're a lot of fun. So? Bring your swimsuit. The pool's heated, but the weather is still pretty nice, and I looked it up for the weekend, so we're good with sunshine and clear skies. My parents will both be working on Friday, so it will just be you and me at the house. We can get a little sun and drink fruity drinks with umbrellas. If you don't come, I'll be bored to shit," he continued with the guilt trip.

I wanted to continue to refuse his invitation, but it really did sound inviting. It had been a long time since I'd really felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, and he'd seen my back so that wasn't the issue, really. And if I was being honest, staying at the dorms with everyone else gone both terrified and depressed me.

I sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to him. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek for his thoughtfulness, and I pulled away to look at him. "Thank you, Edward. I sounded like an ungrateful bitch, and I apologize. I'd love to go. What time do we leave?"

He handed the paper back to me and smiled. "I'll pick you up at the dorm at ten. I'm glad you're coming." He reached over and gently squeezed my hand, releasing it quickly.

Just then, Emmett stuck his head in and looked at the two of us. I guess he didn't knock because he knew there was no way anything was going on. That was really sad, considering how fucking hot Edward was.

"You girls coming? We'd like the opportunity to win our money back, you know," Em snarked. We both laughed and followed him down the hall. Edward wasn't touching me, but he was walking very closely to me as we walked down the hallway. He knew I couldn't stand anyone behind me, and he respected it. The brushes of our hands against each other as we walked down the hallway sent sparks over my skin that were definitely pleasing. I just wished I was capable of more.

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_**A little info…this story isn't fast, but we're not going to rehash every detail. We will move forward in time…not too quickly, but we won't dwell. So, for the time period between Halloween and T-giving, just assume they're doing as Jasper mentioned…hanging out, working out, building friendships and trust.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Who's ready for fun in the sun in Cali? I think Jasper and Edward are, don't you? Thank you for your reviews. I know it's frustrating, but we're taking baby steps. Enjoy!**_

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14. Life in the 'Wood

##

We were in first-fucking-class on the flight from SEA-TAC to LAX, and I swear, I'd never seen anything like it in my life. The seats were leather, not shitty cloth, and they reclined like a nice Lazy Boy. I felt like a kid in a candy store when the flight attendant gave us champagne while the coach passengers boarded. It was set to be two hours, more or less, of pure bliss.

"So, what do your parents do?" I asked as I settled into my seat and slipped off my flip flops. Edward told me most days were sunny and seventy, so I was embracing the California beach bum buried inside me and had brought mostly summer-like clothes. Edward told me he'd take me to the beach so I could see him surf, and I was looking forward to it. The night before, I'd dreamed of him in a wet suit, and for the first time _since_…I woke up with a wet mess in my pajama pants. I would have been embarrassed under any other circumstances, but I was actually thrilled and quite relieved. Maybe my cock was going to start working again?

He turned to me and rested his chin on his hand, elbow propped on the armrest of his fancy seat. "Dad's a doctor at Cedar-Sinai. Mom's just…well, she's Mom."

I laughed. "Does she work outside the home?"

"She does a lot of charity shit. She's gearing up for some big Christmas thing, but the planning is in place so there's nothing to do until after Thanksgiving."

"Oh, you said she and your dad were working on Friday. I just assumed she worked somewhere," I responded as the plane began pushing back from the gate.

"She told me she'd be gone and we'd have to fend for ourselves. She didn't exactly tell me what she had to do. She works in my dad's office a few days a week during the summer and holiday seasons, so I guess she's there on Friday so other people can take time off. I don't really know.

"It's pretty fucking funny that Tyler and Eric's families have Thanksgiving together, isn't it? His description of the menu sounded like nothing I'd ever heard," he responded. We'd given Eric a ride to the airport, and we'd all grabbed breakfast before we went off to our separate flights.

I asked Eric what Thanksgiving looked like for them, and he began telling us about some of the dishes. The yam and sausage stuffed fried dumplings sounded intriguing. With the news that his older sister was recently engaged to a Hispanic guy and his family would be joining them for dinner made me laugh. Talk about a true melting pot.

"Eric says Mama Crowley's collard greens are his favorite dish next to his mother's hoisin-glazed turkey. I tell ya, if they ever invite us up for a visit, I definitely want to get that group together. Talk about a trip around the culinary world," I joked.

I looked at him and he looked a little surprised. "Yeah…yeah, we should definitely do that. I'd love to see their desserts. I, uh, I'm not really good with take-off. Would you mind…I mean, would you please hold my hand?" he asked. He looked worried and I was surprised, but as we taxied toward the runway, I reached over and took his hand, pulling it onto my thigh and holding it between both of my hands. It was nice to be able to comfort him. God knew, he'd tried to comfort me on more than one occasion. I had a lot of no-go zones, so it wasn't exactly easy for him.

After he told Edward what had happen to me, I could no longer trust Em though I was trying to get over it. Unfortunately, Emmett touching me was still out of the question. The first time he tried to hug me after we got back to school from my father's memorial service, I threatened to hit him. He hadn't tried again.

"Thanks, Jasper." I turned to see Edward close his eyes and lean his head back against the headrest. I looked out the window and mindlessly caressed his hand with my left index finger as I twined our hands together, happy to have some physical contact with someone…well, especially with Edward. With him sleeping, I felt I could trace the veins on the top of his hand with my finger without worry. I'd missed physical contact, and it felt good.

I finally fell asleep, likely because of the two glasses of champagne I'd had, and when the captain asked us to put our seats up and stow our carry-ons, my eyes snapped open. I turned to see Edward smiling at me and I still felt his hand in mine. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't panicked.

After we landed and were given the all-clear, Edward turned on his phone, touching the screen with his right thumb. I went to release his hand, but he tightened his fingers to stop me and looked at me. "I don't do well with landings either."

I laughed. "We're on the ground, you know," I pointed out as we taxied to a gate.

"Not until it stops," he answered as he continued to look at his phone.

Finally, he looked at me. "Mom asked if we could take a cab. Dad had an emergency, and she's cooking, I guess. Anyway, I told her you and I are good friends, so she decided to invite two guys she knows for dinner tomorrow. They're potential dates for us. I have no desire to deal with that shit, and I know you don't either, so here's what I suggest. Hear me out before you freak," he instructed as we collected our bags.

"Christ, I don't want to meet a guy like that," I complained.

"Hey, I hear ya. She's pulled this shit on me before and it never goes well. Why she didn't learn her lesson, I don't know, but I think we can pull it off that more is going on with us than just friends. She'll back off if she thinks we're in a relationship."

I stopped in the middle of the airport and looked at him like he was crazy. What the fuck was he trying to pull?

"Don't freak out. Listen to me. I won't touch you, okay? I'll leave it to you to touch me, but if we're going to be convincing, you'll _have_ to touch me. I know, I know, you don't like to be touched, Jasper, and I swear, I respect that. It's just that…well, my mom's nosy, and if we're not a little demonstrative regarding affection, she'll know something's up and she'll push. I'll head her off as much as I can, telling her you're shy, but if you could, um, just hold my hand or touch my leg if we're sitting together, she'll back off."

We were in the taxi line, and I was already sorry I'd agreed to make the trip. I sighed. _Suck it up. He's not going to pull anything. He's your friend, and really? You know you've craved physical contact with the man for a long time. Get over your fucking self._

"Okay. Fine. What about sleeping arrangements?" I asked. Did they expect we'd want to share a bed because I wasn't ready for that shit at all? I could fake…well, I wouldn't be faking affection for him because I had a lot of it pent up inside me, but I wasn't sure how good I'd be at showing it, and sleeping with him was not going to happen.

"She made up a guest room. I'll tell her we're not at that place yet, so she won't think anything of you sleeping in a different room. I think it's the one that's next to mine. It has its own bathroom, so you'll be completely fine. Oh, here," he explained as the cab pulled up.

"Where to?" the driver asked as we loaded our bags into the back of the van.

"Twenty-six hundred Benedict Canyon Drive. Take the 405 North to Mulholland…" Edward began giving him directions, and I began to get really fucking nervous. It was turning into a bigger deal than I'd initially thought because as we drove through the various parts of Los Angeles I'd heard of, I got increasingly uncomfortable.

"What's your zip code?" I asked.

He laughed. "Don't give me shit. I can't help it they moved where they did. I went to University Senior High, okay? Not Beverly Hills High. I hate telling people that shit because I usually get ten kinds of hell for it."

"I'm the last bastard on the planet to judge where you went to high school, Cullen. I'll show you mine if you show me yours," I joked.

He swallowed and turned to me, worry evident. I chuckled. "I set ya up, dude. I expected a smartass comment. Don't flake on me now. I need that cocky Edward Cullen to check in. I'm not made of glass, and I've never been anywhere near anything like this business," I told him as I took his hand and held it, pointing out what I suspected was a lot of pricey real estate. He smiled, and it really lit up my world.

I continued looking out the window as we moved through traffic. Much too long later, Edward instructed the guy through what I was guessing were back roads, and when we pulled up a brick-paved driveway to a huge blue house with white trim and lush gardens, I felt a knot in my stomach. It was like nothing I'd ever seen, but when I looked at Cullen and thought about the apartment furnishings, namely his bedroom, I could see it as plain as the nose on my face.

The boy came from money, though he didn't flaunt it, really. Considering what I was seeing, he was pretty down-to-earth about it, and his whoring ways aside, he was a pretty good catch. Unfortunately, he didn't want to be caught, and I had to keep in mind that the weekend was just for show and tell, but hell, I could play the part. It might be nice to pretend to be something other than the damaged man I was. It was worth a try, anyway.

##

"EDWARD!" we both heard shrieked as we dropped our suitcases in the entryway. It was a hallway which led to a room with a lot of windows. It was pretty incredible, and when the woman, who was definitely his mother, raced into his arms, I laughed.

She was more petite than I expected, and she had her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing casual clothes and an apron, and there was a sweep of flour on her left cheek. She hugged him and kissed him all over his face, causing me to laugh at his obvious discomfort.

He grabbed her upper arms and gently pushed her away. "Mom, have you been hitting the sherry?" he teased.

She slapped his shoulder affectionately. "You're still a smartass." She turned to me smiling brightly, and I could see Edward's green eyes and hair color were from his mother, and I wondered what his dad looked like. There were a few pictures of the three of them on the bookcases in Edward's bedroom, but they weren't recent.

"You must be Jasper. It's truly a pleasure to have you in our home. How was your flight?" she asked as she held my hands in front of me. She didn't try to hug me, which surprised me. I wondered what he'd told her about me, and I needed to get him alone to ask. I sure as fuck didn't like the idea he'd told his parents about my shit.

"It, uh, it was fine, ma'am. Thank you for inviting me," I responded as politely as I could, trying to keep the anger at bay at the thought he'd divulged my secrets…the most shameful thing about me…to his parents.

"Good, good, good. Come on in. I made lemonade, and I'm just making pies for tomorrow. Usually, Ingrid cooks for us, but I like to give her the holiday off to cook for her family. I also like to cook for my family, which I don't get to do nearly enough. Of course, I make a huge mess, but now that I've got help," she turned her dazzling smile to us and Edward laughed, "it won't be so bad."

We heard a buzz, and she jumped a bit. "Oh, that's the table cloth. Make yourself at home, Jasper." She rushed off and left the two of us alone. He pulled two glasses from the cabinet, filled them with ice, and poured the lemonade.

"Did you tell them? Your parents? Did you fucking tell them what happened to me?" I hissed at him.

"Did I…? Oh, God no, Jasper. I'd never tell anyone, I swear. I told Mom you were more reserved and to dial shit back. I swear, that's all I told her." He took my hand and put it on his face, leaning into my palm.

"I'd never tell them anything, okay? Please, love, you have to trust me. I know I haven't been too trustworthy in the past, but I'm not that guy anymore, okay? I'll do whatever I have to do to gain your trust. I care for you so much, and I'll do whatever it takes to show you, okay?" he whispered.

I cleared my mind and closed my eyes, pulling him closer and gently kissing him. I remembered those lips. They were soft and they were inviting. They gently moved against mine, and they had the ability to make me forget everything that had occurred between the first time I'd kissed them until that very minute when I was kissing them again.

"Oh, shit," we both heard behind us. We broke apart and saw Edward's mom standing there before she scrambled away. I felt my face redden, but he laughed. "Looks like we won't have to say anything."

I laughed with him and as we went to the kitchen and sat down at the center island, I felt something inside me stir. I had no idea what it was, and I hoped it was something good. There was enough bad inside me, and I worried it was going to squash all the good before it took over my soul. Hell, I deserved something good, didn't I?

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_**So, they're in Cali, and we've met Esme. I love this Esme. I'll post up another chapter tonight since this was short. As I said up top…baby steps.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**SMeyer owns. I borrowed. Let's get to it.**_

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15. Edward Cullen's Adolescent Highlight Reel

##

"So, he jumped off the back of the couch with a bath towel around his neck fastened with a clothespin. _'I can fly,'_ he yelled. Unfortunately, he tripped over the towel and cracked his head on the coffee table. I swear, I thought DCFS was going to take him away. Carlisle came to the hospital and when he saw the size of the knot on his head, he went home and busted up the damn coffee table. Until Edward was ten, we didn't have a coffee table," Esme related as she made a pecan pie. I was sitting at the island watching her, and Edward was bitching as he loaded the dishwasher.

We'd changed into shorts and we were sitting with his mother. She'd asked us if pizza was okay for dinner because she was busy cooking for Thanksgiving, and hell, we were college students, so it was a staple. We agreed easily.

"Mom, really? I seriously doubt Jasper wants to hear about my idiocy as a kid," he protested. I chuckled.

"Oh, babe, I _love_ hearing about your flaws. You don't have very many," I commented without thought as I place the pecans on the pie in concentric circles as she'd requested. Her giggle made me think about what I'd said, but I wasn't sorry at all.

"Jasper, how are your parents? I remember seeing them at swim meets before we moved here," she asked.

"Mom, uh…" Edward warned.

"It's okay. Mrs. Cullen, my dad was killed in action. It was just after you moved away. Momma's fine, though. She's in New York with my sister for the holiday."

"Oh, gosh, that's right. Rosalie, right?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes, ma'am. My sister's a senior at NYU. Mom went to spend the holiday weekend with her. My mother's always wanted to see the parade, and Rose was back in Forks a few weeks ago, so Momma went to see her," I explained.

"I'm sorry about your father, Jasper. From the few times I met him, I remember him to be a nice man; very personable. I'm really glad you're here, Jasper. It's nice to meet the boy who seems to have captured my son's…"

"Jesus, Mom. Don't you have something else to do?" Edward complained as he dried his hands on a dish towel.

I wondered what he'd actually told her about us, but I wouldn't press it. He seemed uncomfortable, and I knew how that felt far too well, so I decided to let it go for the time being. I'd try to pull up my balls and talk to him about it later, but for the moment, I wouldn't say anything.

We heard a car pull up the drive and a garage door open. Esme smiled and ran her hands through her hair. Edward laughed and walked over to where I sat, placing a hand on my shoulder in the safe zone. "That'll be Dad. He's not nearly as overbearing as Mom." He placed a kiss on my temple before walking into the hallway.

I heard them greet each other, and then I heard something I didn't want to hear. "What the hell happened to your face?"

_Shit! His mother hadn't said anything about the bruise on his cheek, and she should have…would have noticed it. Why didn't she mention it?_

"Carlisle, I told you, Edward and Jasper are sparring partners. I swear, you don't listen to anything I say," I heard his mother comment. I let go the held breath and walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway where the family was waiting.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen. Edward let down his guard, which he _never _does, and I bested him the other day. Trust me, sir, he's bettered me more days than I care to remember, both in the ring and in the pool," I commented as I went to meet the man.

He was a handsome man, just a bit taller than Edward, but he had a warm smile on his face. "You must be Jasper. It's a pleasure to finally meet you officially. I remember you as a scrawny kid. You've certainly grown into your own," he greeted as he crossed the floor and extended his hand. I shook it happily. His jawline reminded me of Edward's, and well, I couldn't help but like him.

"Good to see you too, sir," I responded as I shook his hand heartily.

"You've grown into quite the strapping young man. I remember going to your swim meets. Do you still swim?" he asked.

"Not for a team, sir, but Edward and I swim regularly at school. I'm sorry I don't remember much about you. My father knew you, I believe," I replied without thinking.

"Ah, Joe Whitlock. He's something else. He and Charlie were quite the pair back in the day, from what I understand," he commented jovially.

"Carlisle, could you help me with something from a high shelf?" Esme asked as she took his arm and began pulling him away.

"Mrs. Cullen, it's okay. Dr. Cullen, my father was killed just after you folks left town. It's been a few years now, but yes, from what I understand from Chief Swan, he was quite the hell-raiser in his younger years." It wasn't anything that wasn't true, and they were kind enough to remember my dad, so I felt I owed it to them to be honest. I missed my dad, but I enjoyed hearing how much people liked him. That was something that would never change.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Jasper. He was Special Forces, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'm going to go change into something other than this suit. Esme, what did you need me to get?"

I laughed. She was trying to distract him, and he didn't see it coming. She sighed. "Never mind. Go shower and change. We're having pizza. Maybe you boys want to have a swim?" she offered.

I tensed. I didn't know if they'd say something about me wearing a t-shirt, but Edward took my hand and pulled me to where we'd left our luggage. "That's a good idea. We'll be back," he told them as he grabbed our bags.

"I made up the guest room across from you for Jasper," his mother called behind us. He waved her off and led me down a hallway and up a set of stairs that seemed like an entirely different wing. I was surprised, but I shouldn't have been.

We climbed the stairs and he walked into a blue room with brown accents. "This is you. I'm across the hall, and Mom and Dad are just down the way. The bathroom is right there, and there are lots of clean towels. I'll wear a shirt in the pool, too. Hell we live in the rainiest place in the country, so the fact we don't want to get sunburned on our first day will make my dad happy. Thank you, Jasper."

I grabbed my shitty suitcase and looked at him. "For what?"

He stood in the doorway and seemed to try out the words in his head before he said them. I hated that he and Emmett weighed their words. I wanted…needed…emotional words and I knew they were afraid to say them. I hated it.

"Just say it, Edward."

"Thank you for coming and not being offended by the fact I'd never told Mom and Dad about your father. It didn't occur to me…"

I took his hand and placed it on my chest, seeing the apprehension in his face. It was time to clear the air. "Look, with everything going on, I understand why you didn't think of it, but it wasn't earth shattering for me to tell them about losing my dad. It was just normal. I want normal, Edward.

"If we're going to actually try to be something more than friends, you need to be able to touch me, too. I know you don't because of my issues, but…hell, I really want you to. Just, for now, start here, okay?"

He nodded and held his warm hand to my chest. It felt really good. I held mine over the top of his so he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was okay, and then I leaned forward and kissed him gently. It was just a brush of our lips, but it felt really good, and I was proud of myself for initiating another kiss.

When I pulled away, he smiled. "Someday, I want to be able to kiss you when I want. We can work toward that, right?" he asked in a whisper. His palm was gently rubbing over my shirt-covered chest, and it didn't scare me. It didn't cause me to freak out, and it didn't make me want to run and hide. That had to be a good thing.

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_**Thoughts? To answer one questions…"Will the ink on Jasper's back fade?" No. It's morbid, but what they did was cut the words into his back and then traced it with ink so the ink would get into the wounds and stick. It's how some of the more gruesome prison tats are made.**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**One more tonight. This one…well, it's cathartic, and it leads us into the next phase of Jasper's life. It's short, and it's the last one tonight, but I look forward to you review all of the chapters I put up. **_

_**SMeyer owns…blah blah blah.**_

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16. Shine a Light in the Dark

##

"_Fuck, I knew better! I knew better!_" I heard shouted.

"_Es, roll him on his side_," I heard muttered quietly. That was when I began coughing and sputtering on the deck of the Cullens' nice pool.

For a minute, I panicked at feeling hands on my back, but they weren't hurting me. They were gently holding me, and the words I heard, "_Sweetheart, you're fine. We've got you_," were whispered in a comforting tone. The other sounds I heard were more worrisome.

"Edward, calm down. He's okay. It was just a freak accident."

"Honey, we can only take care of one of you at a time, and right now, we need to make sure Jasper is okay."

"Yes, yes, of course. Please, make sure…"

I coughed and sputtered, spewing water out of my mouth. I was pulled into a sitting position, and for a minute, I didn't know where I was, but when I saw Carlisle's kind eyes and tender smile, I remembered everything.

Edward and I had been swimming laps in the pool. We were racing, as we'd always done, and I accused him of cheating. We began horsing around in the pool, and he disappeared, swimming up behind me and pulling down my trunks. I panicked, and after that, I didn't remember anything else.

"There you are. Let's get you off the bricks," Carlisle stated quietly as he helped me to my feet. I was embarrassed I needed the help to get to a chair, but I wouldn't have made it alone.

"Jasper, are you okay?" Esme asked as she stood next to the chair in which her husband had situated me. She brushed my hair off my face, and her gentle smile put me at ease immediately.

I coughed again, but it was more of a stalling tactic as I took inventory. I was fine. I'd swallowed some pool water, but I was fine. I turned to see Edward sitting on the pool deck with a white towel under his nose, and I saw the red. His nose was bleeding, and I knew I'd hurt him. _God, when will this shit stop?_

"I'm fine. Edward, are you okay?" I asked. He was keeping his distance, and I couldn't blame him. I was a violent person, and I'd physically hurt him more than once. I didn't…he shouldn't be around me for that very reason.

"I'm fine, love. I caught an elbow before you passed out, which I deserved. I'm fine," he responded.

I looked at his mother and gulped. "You should tell your son I'm no good for him. I'm more messed up than anyone you've ever met, and he's so kind and he tries…" I began sobbing. She wrapped her arms around my head and held me, rocking me as a mother was one to do.

"Edward, son, what's going on?" I heard his father ask.

"He has some issues with physical contact, and I know that. I just forgot. I got caught up in a moment, and I forgot. I'm fine, Dad."

I pulled away from Edward's mother and looked her in the eyes. She had the eyes of a mother, and God, I loved her son so much, but I was so fucked up I knew he couldn't love me back. Who would love me? I was damaged.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm not good for him, and you need to tell him to stay away from me. I'm…he deserves so much better than me."

"Jasper, no, don't say that," I heard Edward begging.

She held my face in her hands and smiled through her tears. "My dear, dear boy. What happened to you?"

I continued to cry, but I told her. I said it out loud for once. "I was raped. It was in my dorm room. There were two of them, and they did this," I hissed as I turned my back to her and ripped off my t-shirt, showing her the never-ending, hellish reminder of that night.

She wrapped her arms around me and held me to her chest. "Oh, honey. You're not…It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." She held me and rocked me, and I cried.

I cried as much as I'd cried with Emmett when he'd found me the morning after it happened. I heard more crying and looked down to see Edward's head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him because he'd never given me any indication he was so upset about what had happened to me.

He'd only tried to support me, and fuck, he'd been there even when I tried to push him away. He knew the awful truth of it all, but he didn't disappear. That was a fucking miracle.

I have no idea how long Esme held me in her arms and cried with me, not letting go. Edward didn't move either, and I cried myself out, yet again. I hadn't cried like that in a few weeks, and it felt good. When the tears stopped, I felt a kiss to the back of my head, and slender arms released me.

Edward was looking at me, and I felt so fucking guilty at seeing his nose swollen and bloody. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I…I'm sorry." That was all I had to offer. I didn't need to tell him it wasn't intentional, but it was apparent to me I was becoming an abusive person, and I didn't like it. My father wasn't that guy, and he'd have been ashamed of me. I needed fucking help, or I'd just throw myself from a fucking bridge. That was the long and short of it, really.

"I'm going to touch you," he whispered after his mother moved away. I nodded.

He knelt in front of me and stroked my face. "Jasper, I knew better than to do what I did. I know you can't stand for anyone to come up behind you, but we were having fun and I forgot. It's not your fault, love. I knew better."

I leaned forward and took the towel from his face, seeing the remnants of my outburst. "Let's get some ice on this." I took his hand and helped him up, leading him inside. I sat him down on a stool at his mother's kitchen island, and I found a towel, wrapping some ice into it.

I took it to him and handed it to him. "Is it broken?" I asked. I'd broken Emmett's once, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control myself any more. I didn't want to be a violent person. I hadn't been raised that way. I didn't want to be that guy.

"Nothing more than I've had in the past," he commented, trying to downplay what I'd done to him. God, I loved him so much. _You don't hurt people you love, dumbass._

Just then, I heard the door open and close. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I quickly turned to see Esme. "Edward, let your dad check that. I want to talk with Jasper."

"Mom, it was an accident. I knew better…"

"OUT!" she ordered. He left without another word, and I chuckled a bit. She certainly had a way about her.

She turned me in the chair and leveled a stern look at me that had me welded in place. "I guess we were never formally introduced. I'm Dr. Esme Platte. I'm a psychiatrist, specializing in sexual abuse and domestic violence. After what I learned out there, you and I are about to become very good friends, Jasper Whitlock."

_Oh, hell._

\\\

_**Oh hell! Dr. Platte to the rescue. It wasn't easy, but now we have a doctor in the mix. Wonder how Jasper's going to take the news his boyfriend's mother is a doc and ready to deal with his issue?**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Thank you all for your reviews of the chapters I posted last night. I'm glad to see a few new readers who are leaving me reviews. Thank you.**_

_**I am honored to have a real-life mental health professional reading this, and as she pointed out to me (thank you Cullenaddict02), in real life, Esme should never agree to offer Jasper any professional advice, seeing that he's involved with her son and she's not a therapist…she's a psychiatric physician. I have taken literary license on this plot point because Jasper refused to seek out any help at all initially. Esme sees it as something she can't let go unchecked, so she compromises her principles for a bit. I beg your indulgence.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrowed.**_

_**Now, let's see what happens after meeting with Dr. Esme.**_

_**\\\**_

17. Sessions

##

"Why didn't you tell me your mother was a shrink who dealt with nutcases like me?" I asked Edward after I finished speaking with his mother. He was on the pool deck with the hose, cleaning up the blood from his nose. He had a bandage over the bridge of it, and his eyes were starting to blacken. I hated myself for it.

He stopped and turned to me. "I, uh, I didn't say anything because I was afraid you wouldn't come, and if by some miracle I got you to come, I wanted you to get to know my parents just as my parents. I didn't want you to be self-conscious around them. Are you okay?" He dropped the hose and walked over to where I stood with my hands on my hips, thinking about the conversation I'd just had with his mother.

"_How long ago did the attack take place?" Mrs. Cullen asked._

_I looked down at the countertop and began playing with my fingers nervously. "Um, Halloween night. I came back to my dorm room after being out with a friend, and they jumped me when I opened the door." I really didn't want to recount to the woman everything that had happened. I prayed she didn't ask for details._

"_That recent? Do the authorities know who did it? How did they handle it when you reported it?" she asked. I wasn't looking forward to answering _that_ question._

"_I, uh, I didn't report it. I wasn't going to tell anybody it had happened, but Emmett showed up at my dorm to go with me to Forks the next morning, and he figured it out pretty quick. He ended up telling Edward about it, but other than the two of them, you and Dr. Cullen are the only other people who know."_

_She reached forward and touched my hand. "Sweetheart, the boys who did this to you know, and as much as I understand the fact you want to keep this to yourself, if they did it once, they might do it again to another unsuspecting boy or girl. Do you have any idea who did it? You could still report it."_

_The idea of talking to the cops about it made me want to puke right there. I certainly didn't want anyone to go through what I went through, but I didn't think I was strong enough to go through the hell of an investigation. Shit, as far as I could tell, there wasn't any evidence to support my accusations, and I sure as hell didn't want it to be all over the news as a hate crime._

_It was then I remembered Edward's plan to provoke someone to try to attack him. The idea they could do something to him equally sickened me. "Look, Mrs…Dr…uh, ma'am…" I was stammering again, dammit._

"_Jasper, call me Esme."_

_I nodded and continued. "Miss Esme, you need to talk to Edward and tell him to stay away from me. He seems to think he knows who did it and he's got some hair-brained idea to try to get them to attack him. He needs to stay away from me because I am seven-kinds of wrong for him. You need to straighten him out before he does something stupid and gets himself killed or arrested."_

_She seemed surprised for a second, but then her face calmed. "I'll talk with him later, but I want you to tell me in three words how you feel about what happened to you."_

_I thought about it for a minute, and felt my blood boil. "I'm fucking pissed," I stated harshly as I counted off the words on my fingers._

_She smiled. "Okay, I should have been a bit more precise. Pissed is one word. Give me two more."_

_I chuckled when I figured out what she wanted. "Okay, um, humiliated. Stupid. Weak. Damaged."_

"_Why do you feel humiliated?"_

"_Because I was too weak to fight back. They jumped me when I walked in the room and put something over my head before they tied me to my bed and held me down. They both did it to me, more than once I think. I blacked out. If I wasn't so weak I'd have been able to beat the hell out of both of them, but I'm taking care of that now," I informed her._

"_But, Jasper, they blindsided you. If there were two of them, dear, your chances of being able to fight off both attackers, unless you were armed, were substantially diminished. You were targeted. The odds of you being able to overpower both of them by yourself weren't in your favor. Were you…some people, in that position…are paralyzed with fear and aren't even able to cry out. It doesn't mean they weren't trying to stop the attack, but the body's reaction to danger is different in every situation."_

_I looked down. "I'd have tried to yell, but they put duct tape over my mouth before they blindfolded me. The only proof I have that I know who did it is my roommate's ruined sheets and that piece of duct tape. I feel fucking sick for keeping it, but for some reason when I took the stuff to my mother's to try to wash it, I couldn't look at it again. I hid it in my closet at her house._

"_I bought my roommate a new set of stuff for his bed. I lied to him and told him I'd spilled something on it and couldn't get it out, and he never asked me anything more about it." She reached into a drawer and pulled out a box of tissues, and that's when I realized I was crying, yet a-fucking-gain. It was pretty funny how that shit snuck up on me…well, not much._

"_If you decide you want to go forward with the authorities, Jasper, you have evidence in that laundry bag. You would need to file a complaint, naming who you believe your attackers to be, and then provide the things to the police and let them do their job. I know you're hesitant, but think about it._

"_Look, I want you to have a good time here, but I also want you to consider a few things. I won't hammer on you about this while you're here, but I'd like to refer you to a colleague of mine in Seattle who…" she began._

_I shook my head 'no'. I wasn't telling another stranger what happened._

"_Okay, so no colleague. Then, I want you to agree to speak to me twice a week, on the phone. Long-distance therapy isn't ideal, but if you feel comfortable enough with me, then we can sit down and hammer out a schedule."_

_She walked closer to where I was sitting and touched my forearm. I looked at her and saw nothing but concern and sincerity. There was no pity, and I was relieved. "You need to deal with this. I can see my son cares very much for you, and I truly understand the emotions you're dealing with, but you lashing out and becoming physically violent with him isn't healthy. I can only separate myself so much, but at the end of the day, I'm his mother, and I don't want him to become a victim of abuse. _

"_I should recuse myself from offering to be your therapist, but if you won't speak with someone else, I'll do the best I can to remain objective. Will you be okay with that?"_

_I saw her dilemma, and I should have taken her up on the offer to help me find someone else, but I just wasn't there yet. Maybe someday I could be, but not in the immediate future. "I'll try, Miss Esme." I then went to the bathroom and rinsed my face, going in search of Edward._

"I don't know if okay is the right word, but I'm feeling a little more in control. How's your nose?" I reached up and gently touched his cheek. He winced a bit, and the guilt flooded me.

"Honestly, I'm fine. It looks a lot worse than it is. I knew better than to do what I did, and I forgot because we were just having so much fun. I'm sorry it happened, and I'll try…" he started.

"Edward, you shouldn't be with a guy with who you always have to be on guard. You shouldn't have to constantly remember I can't handle being approached from behind. Fuck, I'm afraid if you ever walked up behind me and put your hands over my eyes like Seth did that day at Roxy's, I'd end up beating you to death before I snapped out of the haze. Fuck, I should get a flight back tonight. I don't want to ruin your holiday, though, I think that fucking ship has sailed."

"I'm going to touch you." He reached up and put his fingers under my chin to make me look at him.

"If you go home, you'll make my holiday much worse than any broken nose. You might as well get used to the idea you're not going to get rid of me. The only thing you're guilty of is showing me how much I want a relationship with you. You might not believe it, but I'll spend every day showing you until it finally sinks into that gorgeous, thick skull of yours." He slowly leaned forward and kissed me gently, which was incredible. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled his body closer, so thankful for the contact.

His arms hung loosely at his sides, likely because he wasn't sure what to do with them, so I took his hands and placed them on my chest. I felt my heart pounding, but I wasn't going to stop. I had to get over it. I had to get passed the feeling of impending doom at physical contact because I didn't want to feel that way. I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to feel like there was someone in my life with whom I could be affectionate and have fun. I just wanted to be free from all the demons.

"Guys, pizza's here!" we heard shouted from the house. It was Edward's dad, and I couldn't turn around to look at him. My face was on fire with embarrassment at being caught kissing his son. Edward, however, was laughing.

"We'll be right there, Dad," he called back between the fits of laughter.

He stepped away and picked up the hose, coiling it to place it back in the basket. I looked down to see the now pristine brick and I wished it was as easy to wash away the feelings I had of being inadequate to have a man like Edward in my life. If only…

##

"So, have you ever had a boy in your room?" I asked as I walked around Edward's room at his parents' house taking in everything.

We'd eaten pizza with his parents, and we'd helped his mom prep stuff for dinner the next day. They'd been very welcoming and kind, not mentioning my freak-out or my impromptu therapy session with his mother. We'd had a few beers while we chopped vegetables for the stuffing, while Carlisle, as I was told to call him, regaled me with embarrassing stories from Edward's teenage exploits. I'd laughed more than I had in a long time.

"No, I haven't. I can honestly say you're the first boy I've ever had in my room," Edward responded as he looked for a movie he wanted to watch.

I laughed. "Now, I wouldn't go that far. I'm fairly certain you've had a lot of boys in your room at your apartment. I'd guess that room has seen its fair share of action," I teased.

I turned to look at him and saw he seemed to be upset. I shouldn't have said it, because even though it was true, he said he was trying to change. The basket of shit I needed to let go of was growing by leaps and bounds.

I walked over to him and put my hand on his back, turning him to look at me. "I'm sorry. That was a bitchy thing to say. I'm not making an issue of it, okay? We have pasts, and you seem to be able to accept mine. I owe you the same courtesy."

"No, you're right. I'm actually thinking about taking Heidi's room. It's a little bigger than mine and has an en suite. If Em and I decide to get a third roommate, they can have the pressure of having to keep the fucking hall bathroom clean since it's the public john. I'll need some help swapping out her shit for mine because her parents haven't sent for it yet. I'll be calling on my friends for that help," he stated, looking at me with a smirk.

I wanted to comment on how long that line would be, but considering I'd already insulted him not thirty seconds prior, I held my tongue. "Oh, did I ever tell you my rule on helping _friends_ move? I don't," I joked.

He laughed and held up his hands, showing them to me before he placed them on my shoulders, gently caressing my neck. "You helped Eric move. Do I not rate as high on your list of friends that you'd consider helping _me_ move?"

I settled my hands on his hips, feeling more at ease with touching him than I had earlier. I guess practice made perfect. I sighed dramatically. "If I help you move not just one, but two rooms, what's in it for me?" I was teasing him, and I was happy to see the crooked smile on his face.

"Well, let's see. I believe pizza and beer are obvious. Um, you can do laundry at my place as much as you need. I can even make up a little coupon book of things I'll do for you in the future when, uh, if you ever… Fuck, that's not awkward at all." The pink on his cheeks was too adorable to resist, so I didn't.

I leaned forward and captured his soft lips with mine, pulling his body closer to me until we were touching from lips to hips. I only tensed for a moment, but his thumbs brushing over my cheeks as our tongues tangled together, first in his mouth then in mine, calming me immediately. His kiss wasn't aggressive, but both of our breathing became labored.

I moaned as I pulled him even tighter, feeling his hard cock pushing against mine, and for a minute, I was a normal gay guy seeking friction from a cock I knew to be long and thick. It felt good to thrust against him, and my brain had shut down, thankfully. I wasn't thinking about anything other than the feel of him in my arms as my hands brushed down his back to his gorgeous ass.

I started backing him up toward the bed when his cell phone started going off. Fucking technology. He pulled away and looked as unhappy as I felt. "Will you get that?" he asked as he stormed out of the room and slammed the door of his en suite.

I hopped on the bed and answered the phone, imagining what he was doing behind that door. "Edward's phone," I answered, smiling more than I had in a long time.

"Please, bitch. Don't act like you got people. So, did the hot boy toy come with you? Chels is threatening to switch teams on me." I pulled the phone away and saw a picture of a beautiful olive-skinned woman with long hair and large eyes. She was really gorgeous, and she seemed to be a ball-buster.

"Gia, why would Chels think he'd be into her after he's had me?" I was feeling very confident because apparently he'd talked about me to his friends, and I was happy about it.

"God, you're such a cocky thing. So, when do we get to meet him?"

"Well, darlin' you're talkin' to him. Now, you tell me, what makes you think I'm a boy toy?"

I heard her suck in a breath and then laugh. "Well, now, don't you have a sexy voice? So, you're the boy who makes Edward a gushing girl over text? I've really got to meet you." _Gushing girl over me? Oh, hell yeah._

"He mentioned something about the four of us going to a club on Saturday night."

She giggled, which sort of surprised me. "I'll get us on the list at _Akbar_. I'm very interested in meeting you. Edward isn't usually forthcoming with information about his love life. When he sent us the picture of the two of you at some party or something, we knew you weren't just one of the herd."

I wasn't exactly pleased about hearing her refer to Edward's past pick-ups as a _herd_, and I was pretty sure she thought I was a flash in the pan, so there were two ways I could go. I had an ultimatum to issue, and I needed to do it as soon as possible. I needed to take control over the relationship because if I didn't, I was going to get crushed.

I chuckled. "Gia, I can guarantee ya this bull isn't one of a herd. I'll have him call you when he has a minute. You go ahead and put us on that list. I look forward to meeting you."

We said our good-byes, and I tossed the phone on the bed. I sat back against the headboard and made a plan. I had my issues, but I had ideas about how I could deal with them. I loved him, but I had to keep that to myself. That declaration would send him running into the Hollywood hills for sure.

No, I had to have control of anything that would happen between us, and it had to go at my pace. I was going to be normal if it fucking killed me.

He walked back into the bedroom, shutting off his bathroom light. He was wearing a towel around his waist that would have had me on my knees with his cock in my mouth in a heartbeat under ordinary circumstances. I really wanted to get back to ordinary circumstances.

He was drying his hair with a towel and looking at me as I stretched out on his bed. "Who was on the phone?"

It was then I realized it was his way of showing me he trusted me enough that he wanted me to answer his phone. It was his way of showing me he wasn't trying to hide anything from me. I actually appreciated it, and I needed to repay him in kind…as best I could.

I got up from the bed and walked over to him, taking the towel from his hands and standing behind him, drying his hair and his back. I wanted to lick the water off of him, but I needed to pace myself. "I'm going to go change into something more comfortable. Find the movie and put on some pants. That call was from Gia. She's going to put us on the list for a place called _Akbar_. You know it?" I asked as I stepped around him and saw the stunned look on his face.

"Did she say anything embarrassing?" he asked as he took the towel from my hands and dried his enticing chest.

"I'll be back," I responded cockily and left the room. Surprisingly, I didn't fucking panic. I had a new mission in mind. If I could control the relationships in my life, maybe I could work through my shit. If I did it on my terms, maybe things would be easier. I was going to try it. I could play the part. Well, I hoped I could.

I went to the guest room and changed into a pair of cotton pajama pants my mom had given me before I left for college. I pulled on a ribbed tank t-shirt, and I turned down the bed. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back. I'd taken a shower earlier, and let it dry naturally, which brought the curls out in full force. Pulling it back was the best idea.

I walked quietly across the hallway, seeing the lights on under his parents' door at the end of the hall. I knocked quietly and I jumped a little when Edward pulled it open with a smile on his face. "I made popcorn and brought us a couple of sodas. If you'd rather have beer, I can go get some," he offered.

I walked in and closed the door, clicking the lock. "I'm fine with soda. What's the movie?" I asked as I walked over to the bed and sprawled out on top, resting against the headboard.

He tossed the box to me as he loaded the movie and crawled up the bed, sitting next to me. I looked at the box and turned to him. "Seriously?"

"Have you ever seen it? It's really a great movie."

"_Nine ½ Weeks_? No, I've never seen it. It's old." I read the summary on the back of the box and decided maybe it was more intriguing than I'd thought.

"Good. Mickey Rourke is really hot in this," he offered as he hit the play button.

We watched the setup of Elizabeth, the art assistant, being seduced by her boss, John. He was very suave and extremely closed off, clearly having a dark past. I could relate to the fucker more than I'd have liked.

I grabbed the remote and paused it. He turned to look at me and his face was worried. "Is this…I mean, is this something that bothers you?"

I thought for a minute and smiled. "Not at all. What about it intrigues you? I'm just curious."

He took a sip of his soda and grabbed a handful of popcorn. After he munched it, he turned his whole body to me and crossed his legs, putting his soda on the nightstand. I did the same and turned to mirror his position.

"Well, she gives him control, slowly but surely. He seduces her, and she follows him without question, all the while still trying to get answers about why he is who he is. She trusts him for some reason. The draw between the two of them is quick and titillating, don't you think?" he asked.

"Do you think it would have been as good if she knew the answers and still gave him control?" I asked.

He pondered my question for a moment and then looked into my eyes. "I think if she knew the reason why he needed the control, she'd have still gone along with it. In the story, they kept the reasons secret until it was too late. Maybe if she knew them up front, she'd have stuck around. Why?"

"Just curious," I responded as my mind spun in a million directions. I turned my back to the headboard and leaned against it, taking back my soda and picking up a handful of popcorn. He sighed and leaned against the headboard next to me, turning on the movie again.

We watched it, and as the scene played out with him blindfolding her, I reached for his hand and spread my legs. "Sit here," I told him. He looked at me funny, but he did as I asked. I pulled him to rest against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the weight of him against me.

I wondered, as we sat there, if he'd ever trust me enough to allow me to blindfold him. I'd never be able to endure it myself, for obvious reasons, but I wondered if he could ever trust me enough to allow me to do it to him.

I leaned forward to whisper, "Would you ever let me do that to you?"

It was fucked up to ask it, especially since he knew what I'd gone through, but as I watched the woman give the man control, I felt a yearning in my soul. Yes, I needed to deal with my shit, but maybe if I could control someone…Edward…like that and not have it end the same way, I could put that demon to rest. Maybe it didn't have to be anything like I'd endured. Maybe it could be turned into a beautiful thing?

He let out a heavy breath. "If we get to a place where you'd want to try it, I'd trust you to do it," he responded quietly.

"I'd only do it if you agreed, Edward. I'd never force you," I assured.

He turned his face and looked at me with sincerity. "Jasper, I'd do anything you ever asked. Anything."

Something he said sent my blood boiling. His offer was so enticing. It was a surrender of sorts, and coming from Edward Cullen, whore extraordinaire, it was surprising.

"Okay. If you mean it then I've got a few rules. No more fucking around. If you're with me, knowing how fucked up I am, you can't see anyone else. It's just me, or I'm out," I ordered.

"That's fine. I haven't been with anyone in a while, Jasper. I can't be with anyone because I think about you all the time," he confessed, which sent my heart soaring.

"Good, and I won't see anyone else either." He nodded without looking at me. My hand was caressing his tight abs, and his body felt good under my fingers. God, he felt very good.

"I have to be in control of our relationship. I know how fucking selfish it sounds, but I have to know what's going to happen and when it's going to happen. I can't take surprises because you know what happens when I'm surprised. I don't want to hurt you, so you have to give me that," I explained.

"Okay," he responded, though I could hear the concern in his voice.

"We can't spar together anymore because I need to get the aggression out and I can't do it with _you_. If you want to continue to box, we'll find you another partner. I don't want to mix up my feelings for you with the aggression I have, so no more boxing together. We can still swim, but no more sparring," I stated firmly.

He stopped the movie and turned a bit to look at me. "I like sparring with you."

I touched his cheek, seeing him wince, and it made my point. "Babe, I have to separate my aggression from the physical relationship I want to have with you and the need I have to beat the hell out of someone. I can't hurt you anymore. It kills me to see what I did today, and it was completely innocent what you did which caused me to freak out. I won't be the guy who is an abusive boyfriend, okay? It's not that we'll never workout together again. We can work out with the heavy bag together, but not in the ring. I won't do it."

"I get it. That's fine. What else?" he asked.

"I want a relationship. Do you?" He reached up and then stopped. He wanted to touch me, and I hated that he had to hesitate, but I wasn't there yet.

I moved forward and put my face into the palm of his hand, enjoying the feeling of his skin touching mine. "Yes, Jasper. I want a relationship with you, and I'll take whatever terms you need. We're good together, and I know it. I just need you to see it."

I placed my hand over his and closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of him touching me. I was sure in all my life it would be the most incredible feeling I'd ever experience.

"Kiss me," I whispered. He didn't hesitate. He scooted closer and sealed his beautiful lips over mine. I fell into it, so fucking happy it was Edward Cullen I was kissing. He was amazing, and he was only becoming more incredible the more I got to know him.

My cock was aching, but I wasn't ready for him to touch me. I brushed down his body and felt how hard he was, and I knew I wanted to give him pleasure. I wasn't ready for him to reciprocate, but I had high hopes that sometime in the near future I would.

I pulled back and smiled at him. "Turn around and turn the movie back on. Take off the shorts."

He did as I asked and I pulled open the nightstand drawer on a hunch, finding lube. I almost laughed. I pulled him closer and kissed his neck. I moved my hands in front of him and opened the cap, squeezing a fair amount into my hand, closing it and tossing it aside.

I closed my hand to warm it for a minute, and then I closed my hand around his hard cock, hearing him gasp. "God, Jasper," he whispered.

I moved my hand over him, squeezing and experimenting with touches to see what he liked. I was very interested in what he wanted, and having his heavy cock in my hand made me smile. He trusted me to bring him pleasure, and I was going to. I swept my hand up over the top and circled my thumb around the swollen head. Hearing him hiss was more than satisfying.

I licked up his neck as my hand continued to work his hard length. When I got to his ear and swept my tongue behind it, breathing into it for a second, his cock twitched in my hand at the sensation. "Show me how you like it. Show me how to touch you and drive you crazy. I want to learn your body, Edward, and only you can teach me."

His hands were clamped on my lower thighs, but with my coaxing, he raised his right hand and placed it over mine, guiding me. He showed me how he liked to be touched…pressure, technique, speed.

"Fuck, Jasper, I'm about to come," he hissed. I wished I could have seen his face, but with his back to my chest, it was impossible. I reached up with my left hand and pinched his left nipple between my thumb and index finger.

"Shit," he gasped as he covered his hand over the head of his cock, erupting in ecstasy. I stroked him gently as he rode it out, his hips continuing to thrust in my hand. When he stopped, he was breathing hard.

"Next time, I might stop before you come and make you wait for it," I teased, enjoying the power I had over him in that moment.

He was panting as his head turned to look at me. "I look forward to it."

I dipped my head and kissed him as I grabbed a few tissues from the box on the bed and wiped us both clean. I felt pretty fucking great in that moment, and as he settled into my chest again, I pulled the blanket from the end of his bed and covered us.

We continued watching the movie, and I heard him snoring before it was over. I woke him and pulled back the covers, putting him to bed. I kissed his lips gently and turned off the lights after I turned off the TV.

I went to the room across the hall and settled into bed. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I felt pretty fucking satisfied and I hadn't even gotten off. Getting him off, though, was pretty fucking great.

\\\

_**Jasper won't become a Dom or anything close; he just needs to control the progression of the relationship. No worries.**_

_**The movie I referenced, "9 ½ Weeks," is a precursor to "Fifty Shades." I didn't give away the plot in case anyone wanted to watch it. It's pretty good.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Good Memorial Day to you, and if you or yours are In Service to our country, thank you for the sacrifices you make every day. As an American, I truly appreciate it.**_

_**Thank you all for your reviews. I truly appreciate them.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's see what's going on in Cali…**_

_**\\\**_

18. Learning Intimacy

##

I felt a hand on my chest and I grabbed the wrist with both hands, jerking it away as my eyes snapped open. "Love it's just me. It's okay. You're fine. I brought you some orange juice." My eyes finally focused and I saw Edward kneeling next to the bed, stock still. He looked afraid, and I hated to see that look on his face.

"Climb in," I ordered. He did without question, and I wrapped my arms around him, trying to show him how sorry I was that I'd reacted so horribly.

"You didn't hurt me, okay? It's just that Mom's up and she's fixing breakfast if you're interested," he whispered as he rested his head on my chest.

"I promise you, I'll get better about it. I don't want to hurt you, babe," I told him as I stroked his back, wishing he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"I know you will. We just have some shit to get through, and we will. I have faith enough for both of us right now, Jasper. You've shown me you're trying, and you've set out some parameters you can live with. I'm glad for that because I have a better footing in this. So, are you hungry?" he asked as his hand settled over my heart. It was the place I told him he could touch, and the heat from it made my blood race.

"Fucking starved," I teased as I kissed his forehead.

"Good. Mom makes the best damn pumpkin pancakes and she only makes them once a year. You're in for a treat. Come down when you're ready. I'll keep some warm for you," he told me as he kissed my chest.

I turned to him and saw his smile, which made my heart flip. "I'll be down in a minute. You…well, you're amazing. Don't think I don't know it," I whispered as I sat up and pulled him with me. I kissed his soft lips and then crawled over him, biting his neck gently, bringing a laugh from him and an involuntary smile from me at the sound of it.

"I'll see you downstairs," he responded as he walked to the door. Before he opened it, he turned to look at me.

"I'm not sure how sentiments fit into your game plan, but you, my gorgeous boyfriend, are fucking hot. I hope you won't keep me away from that huge cock too long." He turned to the door and left, leaving me a hard mess right there in his parents' guest room. Oh, he'd pay for that.

##

After a shower and a session of stress relief, for which I was fucking grateful, I hurried downstairs in shorts and a t-shirt. Carlisle was nowhere in sight, but Edward was sitting at the island with the newspaper in hand. Esme wasn't in the room, so I walked behind him and kissed the side of his neck as I wrapped my arms around him.

I hated the fact he couldn't do it to me, but I hoped maybe someday I'd be able to allow it. I hoped it was him who was able to slip up behind me and surprise me with warm lips on my neck. Unfortunately, they'd be met with a scar. A bite mark. A bite mark I'd hate for the rest of my fucking life.

I pulled away and sat down next to him, picking up the sports pages and not looking in his direction. My dark thoughts had no place in that house. It was full of love and acceptance, and I wasn't going to bring shit in that had no place there.

"Where are your parents?" I asked. He rose from the chair next to me and poured me a coffee, putting in a sugar and a bit of cream, just as I liked it. I was surprised he'd noticed.

He laughed as he placed it in front of me. "Backyard. Morning Tai Chi."

"That's something we should look into. They've been doing it for years, and they do it in a fashion I can't watch because they're my mom and dad, but go take a look. It's not vulgar, it's just very intimate," he told me. I grabbed my coffee and walked to the large sunroom off the back of the house overlooking the pool.

I saw the husband and wife moving in precise synchronicity, neither taking more than the other was giving. They were looking deeply into each other's eyes, and I could see what he meant about the intimate nature of it. It seemed, in that moment, as if they were one soul. One soul in two bodies, but connected just the same.

I could only watch for a few minutes because it was truly their private time. There was love and trust and belonging, and I could only hope and pray I'd have that with someone in my life. It was pretty fucking incredible.

I walked back into the kitchen and sat down, completely gob smacked at what I'd seen. "It gets to you, doesn't it? I don't dwell on it, but my sister and I speculate they must have a pretty incredible sex life. _Brrrr,_" he shuddered. I laughed, but he was right. If they could achieve that level of intimacy without touching each other, I'd bet they were explosive when they got together.

"So, your sister? She lives in Paris? Does she ever come home?" I asked as he sat down next to me.

He looked into my eyes and smiled. "Can I kiss you?"

I nodded and leaned forward, meeting his gorgeous lips with mine. I needed to initiate more. I knew it. I had to show him how much I wanted him in my life. Part of that proof was learning to show him some of the intimacy I'd seen in that brief glimpse of his parents together in the yard. In that moment, I wanted to have it with him, and I wanted it to be spontaneous.

After he pulled away from me, I grabbed his hand and held it over my heart, repeating my question. "Does your sister come home?" He smiled and moved his fingers against my chest, sending a warm sensation through my body. I couldn't get any better than that, I was sure.

"Kate is adopted. Mom and Dad didn't think they could have a kid because they'd tried without any success for a while, so they adopted her. She was eight at the time, and as those things often go, when the pressure was off of them, wham bam, Mom got pregnant with me.

"We grew up in a loving home, but my sister became resentful over the years that her own parents didn't' want her, and she finally just moved away. She doesn't call often, and it breaks my parents' hearts, but I guess she has to work through it. She's thirty. Last we heard from her, she'd met a guy and they were living together. We were never close, but I wish her well," he finished.

I could relate to it because of Rosalie. I felt bad for the Cullens, but what could you do? You put out the offer of love and family, and if someone refuses it, there's nothing more you can do.

"Oh, you're up. We'll be back in a few. Edward, the turkey is in the oven. Will you baste, please?" Esme asked as she breezed through the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water. I heard Carlisle on the stairs, and if I was guessing things right, they would be gone for a bit. As gross as it was to think about my boyfriend's parents in that way, it was actually sweet.

"Got it, Mom."

She sped up the stairs, and I couldn't hold back the laugh. "They're great, you know," I told him as he scowled. It was a natural reaction, but I knew my parents had been as much in love because Rose and I had been sent to the neighbor's house a lot over the years when Dad was home. As I got older, I figured out why.

"So, what we talked about last night," he started as he opened the oven and basted. All I could do was look at his ass. He could have been reciting the fucking Gettysburg Address, and it wouldn't have made any fucking difference.

"Jasper? Are you okay?" he asked as he closed the oven door and turned to look at me, slipping off the oven mitts.

I chuckled. "Sorry, I was just caught up looking at the gorgeous ass presented to me. You were saying?"

He walked over to me and sat down, taking my hand tentatively. I grasped his in mine and looked into his beautiful eyes, more than happy to hear what he had to say.

"I'm not pushing. I'd never, ever push, you know. I'm on board with you pacing this, and I won't lie and say I'm not turned on at the prospect of the groundwork we laid last night. You direct me, and I'll follow. But, Jasper, if you ever get to the point where you want…if you ever want _me_, I'd gladly give that to you. I'd be more than happy to give myself to you that way. You decide how you want things to go, and I'm fine with it. I'm fine with everything."

I touched his cheek and pulled him into me, grazing my lips with his. He was just so…_so._ I heard the footsteps on the stairs and I pulled away after I kissed him again. How I'd ever been able to get his attention…well, I wouldn't question it. I was just going to ride it out as long as it lasted. "Thank you, babe," I whispered as his mother breezed into the room.

Esme Cullen was a beautiful woman, and even my homosexual preference couldn't deny it. She glowed, and she loved her husband. That was a beautiful thing to be privileged to witness. It was quite powerful, and as I watched her heat up breakfast and set the table, even I, as damaged and jaded as I was knew I was witnessing something special.

I looked at Edward and saw him watching his parents moving around each other, just like two orbiting planets, and I saw how happy it made him to be in their presence. If I didn't know for a fact I loved him before, I'd have recognized it in that minute.

##

"I think you're cheating," I accused Edward as we sat at the kitchen table with his parents. We were playing poker. The dinner had been incredible, and the nap after was even better, but after everyone got up, Esme brought out beer and cards.

Carlisle's game was the same as his son's…stud poker. Five card stud. Edward was winning every hand, and _nobody_ was that lucky.

"I'm not cheating, Whitlock. I have skills. You're just a sore loser," Edward teased as he raked in yet another pot.

"Another beer?" Esme asked as she rose from the table. We all nodded.

"I'll be back," Carlisle added as he rose from the table and left the room.

"I think I might show you how sore a loser I can be. Maybe I show you how sore a _winner_ can be," I whispered as I shuffled the cards.

He chuckled. "Threats will get you nowhere."

"Oh, Cullen, it's not a threat, hot shot. It's a promise to be sure."

His face lit up, and I laughed. The new space we were in, I wasn't sure of myself there, but it felt right. He seemed to go with it without reservation if I was right. I just needed to hold up my end of the bargain.

"Promises, promises," he taunted. I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my mouth, taking his thumb inside and swirling my tongue around it. It was then a thought came into my mind, and I was going to follow through. I was definitely planning to follow through.

When we heard the giggle from the kitchen, I pulled his thumb from my mouth and kissed the pad, seeing the heat in his gaze. "What time do your parents go to bed?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at the large clock on the wall and smiled. "It's nine-thirty now, so I'd say about two more hands and they'll be out."

"Quit cheating or I won't follow through on my plans later," I teased.

He quirked an eyebrow at me, and I laughed. I could see he was curious about my plans, and I liked him that way. Before he could ask any questions, his parents came back in. His mother's hair was a bit tousled, and her face was flushed. Carlisle, however, had a very satisfied smirk on his face as he set two beers in front of us and sat down, tossing a chip in the middle of the table.

"Um, Carlisle, maybe the boys would rather go sit in the hot tub. It's still nice out, and they've been stuck with us long enough, don't you think?" Esme asked. I watched his face carefully and saw him glance at her. She gave him a sweet smile, not unlike one I'd seen on her son's face in the past, and he cleared his throat.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Of course, you'd probably rather sit in the hot tub than spend any more time with us two old bores. I'll clean this up. You boys go ahead," he said a bit excitedly.

"We're fine," Edward protested.

"Actually, Edward, I wouldn't mind sitting in the hot tub for a while. We don't have anything like that at school. If your parents don't mind, I mean," I responded as innocently as possible.

I turned to look at him and cocked my eyebrow. His eyes grew wide for a split second before he pushed all his chips toward his father. "Actually, that sounds good." He grabbed our beers and motioned for me to follow him out to the hot tub. I didn't point out our trunks were upstairs, having been washed and dried that afternoon.

Once we were outside, he placed the beers in the cup holders on the side of the hot tub and grabbed two towels from the container next to it. He whipped his t-shirt over his head, and walked over to the outdoor kitchen, turning on music. I pulled off my t-shirt because apparently, we weren't going to wear swimsuits in the hot tub. When the lights downstairs went off, I wasn't worried about his parents catching us. They apparently had other things to do.

I spread one of the towels on the side of the hot tub and proceeded to walk over to where Edward was fucking with the sound system. "Don't turn on the lights," I told him as I kissed his shoulder and the back of his neck, reaching around to unbutton his shorts and push down his boxers. I continued to suck on his skin as I stripped myself, and when we were both naked, I rubbed my hard cock against his sexy ass, hearing him moan a little.

"Go sit on that towel on the side of the hot tub," I told him.

He turned to look at me, and when I saw the lust in his eyes, I steeled myself with what I was going to do. I took his hand and led him over to the spot before I climbed into the hot tub and walked over to the side. His legs were dangling in the water and he was resting on his hands with his arms extended behind him. His tantalizing cock was hard and standing up straight, begging for my attention.

I stopped in front of him and lifted his legs out of the water, placing his feet on the decking with his legs spread wide. "Stay just like that, okay?" He nodded.

I kissed his thighs and all around his cock and balls, gathering my courage. I'd only done it twice before, and he'd shown me how good he was at it, so I wanted to make it equally good for him.

I looked into his eyes as I swept my tongue from base to tip, swirling it around the head of his weeping cock, and he moaned again. I smiled. His eyes never left mine as I sunk my mouth down over him, taking as much in as I could. I couldn't go as deep as he, but I'd learn how to if it was the last thing I did. Going down on him was something I could give him because it hadn't been tainted for me during my attack, and I was fucking grateful for it.

I bobbed my head and swirled my tongue over the ridge of the head, just as I remembered he'd done to me. I was happy to hear him moaning. "God, Jasper, that feels so fucking good."

I stayed at the head as I teased it with my tongue feeling his hips jerk a bit. He was holding back and I wouldn't have it. I popped him out of my mouth loudly, and looked up at him. "I'm not good at this. Tell me what to do, Edward. Tell me how you like it. How'd you suck me down your throat?"

He swallowed. "Jasper, you don't have to do that. Just having…"

"Stop it. Tell me now or I stop." Yes, I was threatening him, but I didn't want him to give me a pass. That shit had to be over.

"You have to relax and breathe through your nose. It takes time, love." I had to put it out of my head when it occurred to me he'd likely had a lot of practice because he was a fucking expert at it.

I nodded and tried again, only concentrating on the musky, spicy smell and taste of him as I moved slowly down the shaft. I concentrated on the sounds he was trying to hold in, and the first time I tried, I gagged, pulling back. I thought about the night before when I'd had him in my hands and how he sounded when he came, and I sunk down again, feeling him at the back of my throat. I breathed through my nose, stopping for a moment, and then I swallowed around him because there was a lot of saliva pooled in my mouth.

"Of, fucking hell," he gasped. I liked the feedback, so I did it again, finding it wasn't as difficult as it was initially.

"God, Jasper, that's…" he hissed.

I continued my movement on him, pulling back and then sinking him a little deeper into my mouth until my nose was buried in the soft curls at the base. I swallowed, and he gasped loudly. I was going slowly, but I actually wanted to torture him a bit for his cheating at cards earlier. I had the feeling I was succeeding.

After several minutes of me continuing my experimentation, his hips rose from the pool deck, pushing him further in my mouth. I liked it. It was as if he was fucking my mouth, and I wanted him to do it. I placed my hands under his gorgeous ass and raised his hips encouragingly, letting him take over the pace. I backed off him a bit so as not to choke, but I let him show me what he needed.

When my thumb swept over his taint, he gasped loudly. "Fuck, Jasper, I'm going to come."

I moved one of my hands and wrapped it gently around his balls, tugging a bit firmly. One last thrust as I sunk down on him as far as I could and felt his cock twitching as he emptied himself into my mouth and throat. If it was the only way I could stand to have him inside me, I'd take it and do the best job of it I could.

When his cock stopped twitching and began to soften, I pulled his legs down into the water. "Get in," I told him.

He scooted into the water with a small splash and stood in front of me, a happy smile on his face. "You okay?" I asked as I led him to a place in the hot tub where there was a raised portion resembling a chaise lounge. I reached up to the controls and turned on the jets, settling him into my body on his side as we reclined.

I hated to be a needy bastard and ask him how I did, but… "Was that…I mean, you came, so I guess you got something out of it." I hated the lack of confidence in my voice, but I _had_ to know.

"Oh, God, that was amazing. It felt incredible, Jasper. I didn't expect you'd do that, but fuck, that felt…well, it was the best blow job I've ever had," he stated emphatically.

I turned him to look at me and jerked his face up far rougher than I wanted. "Don't lie to me. You told me that night we went out for dinner we were going to be honest with each other. I'm sure it's not the best you've ever had."

I took a deep breath to still the anger because there was no reason for it. I didn't want him to stroke my ego. I wanted it to be good for him. If he was lying, I needed to get away from him before I hurt him.

"Love, look at me," he requested. I looked at him, not realizing I'd turned away.

"It was more incredible than any other I've ever had because it was from _you_. You have no idea how much I enjoyed it. Don't doubt your skills because I've never…nobody else has been able to do that," he finished.

"Do _what?_ Make you come? I'm pretty sure…"

He lifted his fingers and put them over my lips to still me. "Please, don't think I judged what you did for me against things from the past. Jasper, you…it meant more because you and I care about each other, okay? It all means a lot more when you do it with someone you…care about."

_Oh! I hadn't thought about that. Then, something else popped in my head for which I wanted clarity. "_What did you do that got you arrested and beaten up when Em and I were in Forks? Remember, we're being _honest_ with each other."

"I don't want to…"

"You _will_ tell me," I ordered sternly.

"I got Jimmy's girlfriend to give me a blow job in the bathroom of a club. I pulled out before I came in her mouth and shot off over her chest and face, then I took a picture of it with her phone and sent it out to everyone in her contact list. His friend, Laurent, came looking for her, and when he found her in the bathroom on her knees with my jizz on her face while I cleaned up, he hit me. I hit him back, but he dragged me out of the ladies room and hit me again. When the cops showed up, I saw them and that's when I unleashed on him. Since he wasn't hitting back by then, it looked to them like it was unprovoked on his part. That's why I got arrested and he got to go to the hospital."

I looked into his eyes and saw he wasn't fucking kidding at all. I got up from the lounge spot and moved away because I was pissed and I didn't trust myself. "You fucking ass. You let a girl give you a blowjob in the bathroom of a club? I should be happy about this how, Cullen?" I yelled.

He moved closer, but I held up my hands to keep him away. I didn't know if I could resist hurting him because I was so pissed off. How the fuck could he do that?

"Jay, it was before we got together, so I didn't cheat on you, okay? I did it because now, Jimmy will come after me. You have to understand, love, he took something from both of us, and he's going to pay for that."

I turned my back to him and ground my hands into my eyes, trying so fucking hard to erase the memories. Why he thought it was a good idea to do that shit, I didn't fucking…I couldn't understand.

"Edward, how could you humiliate that girl like that?" Fuck, I didn't even think I knew him if he was capable of doing that shit.

"Jasper, she actually came on to me, and I didn't stop her, okay? I scoped her out with the help of a friend, but she came on to me. I'm not justifying it, and I won't lie and say it was easy to do but that girl's a fucking whore. I didn't do anything to her she didn't want. He took away so much from us, and I know I can't get it back, but I plan to make that fucker pay and think twice if he's ever tempted to do anything of the sort again."

I turned to him and planted my elbows on the side of the hot tub deck. "Oh, really? I don't remember you being there when that bastard did what he did. What, exactly, did he take from _you_?"

I was so fucking mad I couldn't be civil, so I was keeping my distance. I was breathing deeply to try to keep from losing my temper at the news he'd had some random girl blow him in a bathroom of a club. What the fuck was he thinking?

"He took the beautiful, shy boy I met and fell in love with. He took the light out of your eyes. He took away the opportunity for us to figure out how to be a couple. All the awkward exploring of each other and me being able to surprise you in your dorm room for a quickie between classes, that's something we can't do because you won't go near that room if Eric's not inside.

"He took away the hard thumping of our hearts as we went on dates and kissed until our lips were swollen. He took away the way we'd learn each other's likes and dislikes. He took away the Sunday's we'd wake up and make love instead of doing homework. He took away the sexy texts we'd have sent each other because we were busy and couldn't get together.

"He took away the desperate stripping we'd do when we finally got to the weekend and couldn't wait to be together. He took away the first time we'd make love and how worried we'd both be, but it would be fantastic. He took all those things and a hell of lot more I can't even begin to articulate. He deserves to pay for that, and I plan to make him."

He was very firm in his conviction, and he was crying, which didn't help anything. My anger dissolved when he reminded me of all the things that prick had taken from us, and the one thing that settled into my brain was he'd said he loved me. I didn't know if it was just the heat of the moment, but I was going to take it and hold it inside me. I didn't feel lovable, but maybe he saw something I didn't?

I shook it all off and turned back around to look at him. "Edward, don't mess with them. They're evil, trust me. I don't want you anywhere near that sadistic fuck."

"I'm coming over there, okay?" God, I hated he had to announce his intentions, but I was so fucking thankful he understood it. I nodded.

He slipped up next to me and placed his hand over my heart. "I don't plan to let him get anything from me, love. He's going to lay low for a while and then he's going to come after me. That's what I'm banking on. He got his buddy, Laurent, to drop the charges just as I thought he would because he wants a clear path. He doesn't want anyone, most of all me, to think he's going to come at me. He'll wait, just as he did for you, and then he'll try something. When he does, he'll regret it."

"You don't have to be my avenging angel, Edward."

"I do, Jasper, because he took my angel from me. I owe that mother fucker, and I'm going to get my revenge."

I could tell he was steadfast, and I wasn't sure anything I said would sway him, so I had to look out for him. I couldn't let anything happen to him like what I'd endured. I wouldn't let anything happen to him.

\\\

_**Another baby step, and we find out what Edward did to set himself up. Was Jasper's anger justified? They weren't really together yet…JS.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Good evening. I know you're not thrilled with Edward's behavior, and the only explanation I can offer is that he's looking out for his man and not taking any prisoners. Not cool, but he did what he did.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's see what they're up to.**_

_**\\\**_

19. Another Baby Step

##

"Jasper?" Edward whispered as his bright green eyes opened. I was in bed with him, and I could see he was surprised. I was lying on my side in my boxers and a t-shirt, having awakened an hour before, and not able to go back to sleep.

After hot-tub confessions, I couldn't get to sleep easily, and when I did, it wasn't restful. I went over to his room and climbed in bed with him, holding him in my arms and finally falling asleep. I'd awakened just when the sun came up, and I'd been watching the cute contortions his face made as he slept. I was actually enjoying myself more than I'd anticipated.

"The one-and-only," I joked as I leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"What…" He looked around to see he was in his room and he looked at me with confusion.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came in here to see how you were doing. You weren't sleeping any better than me, so I spooned up behind you, which was pretty great, and we fell asleep together. I woke up a bit ago, and I was just watching the cute little faces you make when you sleep."

He looked at me and I saw a little bit of pink on his face. "_Fuck you._" He smiled shyly, and I loved it.

I laughed and place my hand on his chest. "Naw, I think I'll fuck you first, but I'll take it under consideration."

He looked at me with apprehension, and I had to give the guy something. "Not today or tomorrow, but I hope someday. I hope someday I can get…over it."

He leaned forward and kissed my neck. "You do know, don't you, that if you can't, it's not a deal breaker. We'll figure it out."

I pushed him onto his back and hovered over him, looking into his gorgeous eyes. "You'd want to figure it out with me? You know, Edward, how fucked up I am. You don't have to answer now, but don't make a commitment you're not able to keep."

He gently eased his hands up my biceps to my shoulders and rested them there, gently kneading the flesh and muscle. "Jasper, I'd never do that. If I wasn't in this for the long haul, I'd have just walked away and left you alone. I can't. I…I…care too much for you."

I looked into his eyes and saw his hesitance at saying anything he thought might scare me. Even without my issues, I'd probably have been scared, but with everything…yeah, I was hesitant to put too much weight into his words. I was going to be nineteen at the end of the year, and he was twenty-one. The chances…well, under the best of circumstances, the odds were against us. I had to remember that or else I'd dive in with both feet and lose myself in him.

"You're just caught up in the gushy feeling of the holidays, but I care for you, too. Now, what do you want to do today?" I asked, trying like hell to deflect the conversation from its serious path.

"We're too late for surfing until later this evening, so let's go sightseeing. You're in LA, baby. Let's go find the beautiful people." I laughed at his words, and I went to my room to grab clothes.

After a shower and shave, we left the house and went to a '69 Corvette in the garage that had me tripping over my fucking tongue. It was a custom gold, and I looked at him. "Is this yours?" The boy was so far out of my league it wasn't even funny. I had a beat up old Bronco of my dad's I'd driven in high school, but it died over the summer which left me on foot. It wouldn't have made the trip to Seattle anyway.

He laughed. "No, love, this is Dad's, but he left the keys on the counter, so we're going to use it."

Oh, use it we did. He took me all around Los Angeles. He took me to the Hollywood Walk of Fame where he took pictures with me and my favorite stars'…stars. He took me to Rodeo Drive where I couldn't even walk into the stores because I couldn't afford to buy a toothpick, so we window shopped and I kept a vigil for celebrities, which I didn't see, but I recognized the stores from television. When Bella and Angela were your best friends, you got familiar with brands.

Edward drove us to the Santa Monica Pier where we had lunch at a place called "The Lobster." He took out the T-tops of the car and drove us up the PCH, as it was called, and when we got back to his parents' house on Friday evening, I was in dire need of a nap.

"That was a hell of a tour," I teased as we walked inside. He went to the fridge and grabbed the pitcher of water, pouring two glasses. He looked up at the clock and smiled.

"We're going to Manhattan Beach. I'm going to grab my board and you should change into shorts. We'll leave in a little bit," he instructed.

After I changed, I went downstairs to find him in that fucking wet suit I'd dreamed about with the top of it loosely around his hips. He was wearing a t-shirt and he was apparently packing a cooler, which surprised me.

I slipped up behind him and he jumped as he stood in front of the refrigerator. "I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that you look pretty fucking sexy in this. I like how it defines this," I whispered as I grabbed that gorgeous ass with both hands.

He laughed as he slowly turned. "Well, maybe seeing me on a surfboard will be enough to coax you to want to plant your flag."

I laughed with him. "Oh, baby, I've wanted to plant my flag for a _long_ time."

"What's stopping you, Jasper? I told you, and I mean it, I'm ready when you are."

I took a deep breath. _That_ confession wasn't going to be easy, but it needed to be out there. "Well, being the virgin I am, I'm afraid I won't be good at it. I want to be good at things for you, Edward."

He smiled. "Considering nobody else has planted a flag there, I'd say your chances of staking your claim and leaving a big smile on my face are damn good, Columbus." He leaned forward and kissed me, and I was giddy because I was pretty fucking surprised at his admission.

Could it be the fuckhound had saved something of himself he was willing to give me? That wasn't something I ever thought possible.

"Columbus, huh? Well, we should make a stop on the way back from the beach," I taunted.

"Oh, yeah? Where?" He closed the cooler and grabbed a backpack, handing it to me.

"Being the responsible adult I am, I need to buy condoms and lube. What's in here?" I asked as I followed him out to a black SUV with a surfboard strapped to the roof. _How many fucking cars do these people have?_

"Who's is this?" I asked as I hopped into the passenger side.

"Actually, it's my friend, Gia's. I called her and asked if I could borrow it for tonight and tomorrow, so she dropped it off a few minutes ago. Tomorrow night, we'll pick her and Chels up at her parents' house. They're going to a fucking spa or something all day tomorrow, and Chelsea's driving, so Gia didn't mind."

I nodded and fastened my seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the street. It didn't take too long to get there, and when he stopped the car, I grabbed the cooler and the backpack while he wrestled the surfboard off the roof.

We walked to the beach, and Edward kicked off his flip flops, so I did the same. We struck out over the cold sand, and he helped me spread a blanket so I could watch him. There were other surfers already in the water, and it was exciting to watch. People surfed at First Beach back home, but I didn't go down there. I didn't go anywhere after Riley outed me. High school was pretty fucking miserable when I really thought about it.

Edward placed the board on the sand, upside down from what I could tell, and he turned to me. "Love, can you get in that bag and get out the fin and the wax?"

I opened the bag and pulled out what I assumed was the fin. It was bright green and black striped and it was shaped like a shark's fin. I dug around a little, finding two towels, a small first-aid kit, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and a small round thing that looked like soap. I grabbed the fin and the "soap" and crawled to where he was kneeling in the sand. "Is this it?" I asked.

He leaned forward and gave me a peck on the lips. "Mr. Zog's Sex Wax," he informed as he flipped it over and showed me the top of it where the label indeed read "sex wax." I cracked up.

"I didn't think sex and wax were compatible unless you were into some sort of dripping wax on someone's body from a candle. What's it do?"

He explained how it made the board more hydrodynamic as he rubbed it over the back. I listened, not understanding much of what he was saying, but happy to see him so excited to be explaining it all to me. He fitted the fin in the double slots, and then he walked over to the bag and pulled out a long cord, which looked like a bungee cord with a Velcro strap on one end, and some sort of clip on the other.

He clipped it to the board and wrapped the strap around his ankle, standing up to pull up the top of the wet suit and grabbing the long blue cord at the back to zip it up. He was pretty fucking graceful at everything he did, and I was sure surfing would be no exception.

After he was ready, he picked up the board and turned to me with a bright smile. "Okay, wish for waves."

"Whose name is that at the top?" I asked, as I looked at the surfboard closely. There were a few brand name decals on it, and a red signature at the top.

"This is a Dane Reynolds' pro board. I got it for my twenty-first birthday this summer. It's great, isn't it?" It looked a little beat up to be new, but I didn't know anything about surfboards, so I simply shrugged.

He laughed. "Love, Dane Reynolds is a professional surfer. He was inducted into the Surfer's Hall of Fame this year. He's like a legend in the sport. I usually don't use it, but I'm kinda trying to impress my boyfriend, and it's a great board for that sort of thing."

He was so sincere that I simply smiled. "Well, hot shot, show me what ya got."

He took off toward the water, and after he was out so far, he hopped on the damn thing and began paddling out, guiding the board under the incoming waves until he got out to where the hand full of surfers were sitting on the boards, appearing to chat and bump fists.

After a few minutes, he was bobbing in the water with them as he looked out to the horizon. The sun was low in the sky, and the scene was incredible. I wished to hell I'd have brought a pair of binoculars so I could see his face because his body language give me the impression he was quite happy to be on the water.

Suddenly, there was a lot of scrambling as all the surfers, lay on their stomachs and began paddling like crazy. I grabbed a towel and my phone and walked closer to the water's edge. Edward kept looking over his shoulder, and quickly moved so he was standing up on the board, guiding it along with his companions. His arms were extended in mock-airplane fashion as he moved forward and backward, dipping his knees to guide the board as he rode the wave, or whatever the fuck it was called.

People were falling or diving off left and right, but he stayed vertical. I pulled up the camera app and took several pictures before he slipped down and sat on the board again as it neared the shore. A guy nearby high-fived him, and he waved to me, which I enthusiastically returned. He was definitely in his element, and he was sexy as hell.

As he paddled out again, I flipped through the pictures and found a good one wherein you could actually see it was him. I forwarded it to my contact list with a text.

_This is *my* boyfriend. Eat ur hearts out. JW_

I was so fucking proud and in awe of him, and I couldn't wait to tell him the same when he came back to me.

I went to the blanket and sat down, enjoying the show for another hour before the sun was nearly gone. I saw him starting toward the shore, so I grabbed a towel and went to meet him. I had to kiss him before my cock shot off in my pants in protest for me keeping him away from it. I hadn't been so fucking turned on in a very long time.

He walked up to me with a bright smile on his face, his hair hanging over his forehead, longer than it had been when I first ran into him at the beginning of the school year. "That was hot as hell. You're incredible," I told him as I smoothed it back out of his eyes.

He actually fucking giggled. "So, you're impressed with my mad skills?"

I placed my hand on the side of his face and stroked him, feeling the saltwater on his skin. "Baby, you've got a _lot_ of mad skills. Based on what I just witnessed, I might have to beg you to unleash another set of mad skills on me after we get home," I taunted. I leaned forward and kissed him, hoping he didn't mind it was in front of other people, but when he placed his hand on my shoulder gently and pulled me closer, I knew he didn't give a shit either.

He pulled away after our tongues tangled, getting both of us worked up. Well, I was already worked up, but that wet suit didn't offer him any cover. "I think we need to get back to the house and shower. My cock is being suffocated in this thing," he joked. I laughed and handed him the towel.

I leaned over and unstrapped the Velcro thing from his ankle, taking the board from him. We walked back to where our things were and he reached into the cooler, grabbing a soda. I'd already had two waters and a small container of fruit while I watched, so I didn't want anything.

I reached up and pulled the zipper on the back of his wetsuit. He turned to smile at me. "Thanks, love." After he peeled the top off, he pulled on the t-shirt he'd brought. He slipped the rest of it off, standing there on the beach in his "Squids" red and black Speedo.

_Oh, sweet baby Jesus_. It took me back, that's for sure. "You, uh, you still have that?"

He looked up at me and smiled cockily. "I found it in my dresser and thought you might like it. Anyway, maybe next time you come home with me, I can teach you? We don't have enough time this visit, but maybe next time?"

He was pulling on his shorts over the Speedo, and my eyes were glued to his hard cock under it. I barely registered he was talking, and it took a minute for his words to sink in. He wanted me to visit with him again? That was good news, even for my sexually charged brain.

"That, uh, yeah. I think I'd like that," I responded as we grabbed all our shit and headed toward the SUV. He leaned the board against the side and began wiping sand off of it with one of the towels while I situated the cooler and the blanket in the floor of the back seat.

When he was finished, I helped him secure it to the top, and we drove to his parents' home, me holding his hand the whole way. We were listening to music, and I hadn't felt so happy in a long time.

\\\

_**So, Edward on a surfboard…oh, lordy. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**I know I'm delinquent, but I've had technical issues that have finally been resolved. Damn a May thunder and lightning storm!**_

_**Thank you all for your reviews. I'm so happy you're all on board. MinaRivera made me an awesome banner, and I'm going to do my best to load it…with her instructions! Thanks, sweetie!**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**We're still in Cali. Let's see what's going on…**_

_**\\\ **_

20. Another Brick in the Wall

##

"Boys?" It was Esme calling from the kitchen, and we were trying to be quiet so we could sneak in and head upstairs. A shower and orgasms were on the agenda because he'd determined we'd have the house to ourselves, but based on the smell of things, that wasn't going to be the case.

"Fuck," he hissed as we slipped off our shoes and picked them up so as not to track sand through the beautiful home. He looked at me with regret and I felt his pain, but his parents were great people, and I didn't have it in me to be rude.

I grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen with me. "Miss Esme, how was your day?" I asked with a smile. Edward took the wet towels, blanket, and his wetsuit to the laundry room while I began cleaning out the cooler.

She turned to me from her place at the stove and smiled. "Ah, did you boys go to the beach?"

"Yeah. He wanted to surf, and I've wanted to see what it was like in person. He's very good," I commented as I loaded the container the fruit had been in into the dishwasher.

"He spends a lot of time surfing during the summer. I'm not surprised he wanted to go this weekend. What did you boys do today? Are you hungry? I made turkey tetrazzini. I'm just about to put it in the oven, and it takes about forty-five minutes to bake, so you have enough time to get cleaned up."

Edward came into the kitchen and walked over to see what she was doing, kissing her on the cheek. I turned to see the tender smile on her face. "I see you had fun."

"The waves were great. Next time I get Jasper to come home with me, I'm going to teach him," Edward told her as he reached into the pan and pulled out a sautéing mushroom, earning a slap of Esme's hand to his. He laughed as he walked to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He pulled out a bottle of wine and filled a glass for his mom, earning him a pat on the cheek. I quietly chuckled at the two of them.

He sat down at the counter and patted the seat next to him for me. I sat down and took his hand, taking a swig of the cold beer and enjoying the easy attitude. "Jasper, do you have any desire to learn to surf? I could never get the hang of it. Carlisle used to go with Edward when we first moved here, and I tried once, but I couldn't get up. It's a lot trickier than it looks."

I laughed. "Yeah, it's nice to watch, and those who can do it make it look very easy, but I had a hard time learning to skateboard, and I never got the hang of skiing, so I doubt I'd be able to actually surf. Maybe I could do that paddle surf thing, but I know the water has to be calm for that," I offered.

"Oh, that's a possibility. There are places to do it around here. Maybe Spring Break?" Edward asked.

Damn, that was four months away and he was already making plans for us to do things together? That had a lot of promise…while simultaneously scaring the living daylights out of me.

I turned to see him looking at me for an answer, so I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Definitely something to consider," I offered, not saying yes or saying no, and not allowing myself to get too worked up.

Esme brought her glass of wine over to the counter and stood in front of us. "How are you doing?"

She was looking at both of us, and I knew what she was asking. She wanted to know her son was safe in my presence, and I couldn't have blamed her in the least. "I can't speak for Edward, but I haven't felt this relaxed and happy in a while. It's peaceful here, and there's definitely a feeling of unconditional acceptance which has been very helpful at keeping my anxiety away.

"Maybe, if you have time in the morning, we could sit down and talk a bit?" I asked her. I trusted her, and I wanted the help I never imagined I'd seek. If I thought I could lock the two of us in a room for a week and I'd come out cured, I'd do it.

She reached over and touched my hand. "Sure. Maybe you wouldn't mind helping me prune my rose garden in the morning. I find it's easier to talk about things when the hands are busy. Let's say eight o'clock?" she offered.

"It's a date, Doc," I teased as I squeezed her hand in return.

"We're going to go get cleaned up for dinner. Is Dad coming home?" Edward asked as he finished his beer. He looked at me and winked, so I finished mine as well. He grabbed two more and stood next to me, placing his hand gently on my shoulder.

"He should be home in a while. He had an emergency surgery earlier, and I think he's hanging around to make sure his patient is stable. We'll eat without him if we have to. We're trying to go to a nine o'clock movie, if you're interested."

"What movie?" Edward asked, squeezing my shoulder. The woman could have said any movie, and he'd have said hell no, I was sure.

"It's the new James Bond movie. Interested?"

I looked down to hide the smirk. "I think we'll wait for it on DVD. Daniel Craig…eh? Sean Connery was the best Bond, you know." He pulled me from the stool and led me toward the stairs.

"One hour, boys," she called behind us. We both laugh as we hurried up the stairs and stopped in the hallway. Edward had a pensive look on his face, and I had something I wanted to do.

"Get your shit and come shower with me," I whispered. His eyes lit up, and my heart soared.

"Actually, the shower in my bathroom is bigger. I mean, I'll gladly shower with you, but mine is a bit roomier," he explained with a sly smile.

I cupped my hand over his semi-hard cock, and smiled in return. "Give me a minute to get my stuff. I'll be right there." I went to the spare room and grabbed my toiletry kit and clean clothes. I opened the spare room door and looked up and down the hall, not seeing anyone.

His bedroom door was cracked, so I let myself in and closed it, clicking the lock. There was music playing in the background, and I could hear he was in the bathroom, singing along with Norah Jones. I had a feeling he was trying to seduce me, and while he didn't need to bother because I was definitely on board with getting naked and feeling him next to me, I did appreciate the effort.

I walked to the bathroom door and saw he was standing at the sink with a towel around his waist. He was shaving, and he looked sexy as hell. I walked up behind him and placed my hands on his hips after I saw the smile on his face so I didn't frighten him and cause him to knick that gorgeous, albeit a little bruised, face.

"I do love the feel of your smooth face, but the stubble is sexy as hell," I told him as I kissed between his shoulder blades, feeling him shudder a bit.

"When we get back to school, I'll only shave every other day, but Mom bitches about…God, can we not talk about my mom right now?"

I laughed as I stripped off behind him, piling my clothes next to his in the floor. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't nervous, but I needed to take the step to do something as normal as shower with my boyfriend.

I climbed into the shower as he continued to shave. I heard the door open, and his sexy voice. "Love, I'm coming in." My head was under the spray and my eyes were closed. I appreciated his warning. I prayed we could figure a way out for me to be comfortable and yet, the two of us to be intimate without me overreacting all the time.

There were showerheads everywhere in that fucking shower. I counted at least twelve of them, and they provided a relaxing atmosphere. Coupled with the music in the background, it was amazing.

"Your parents won't be pissed at us showering together, will they?" I asked quietly.

He smiled as he stood in front of me, hands clenching and gorgeous body glistening in the subtle lighting with the water pouring down him. He was a fine, fine specimen of a man, and he was mine. That wasn't easy to wrap my head around, but as he stood there, apparently aching to touch me, it was obvious.

"Come here, babe," I told him as I held my arms open to him. He put his hands on my hips, but I wanted…needed…him to hold me close. I swallowed down the feelings of fear and made a move.

I moved closer to him so our bodies were touching, and I moved his arms around my back so he was holding me, low beneath the dirty words that were there forever. I was nervous, but I tried to quell it. I wanted him to hold me. I needed the contact.

"Jasper, I…are you sure this is okay?" he asked nervously.

I let out a sigh as I moved my hands to play in his wild locks. I slicked it back so I could see those expressive eyes. They'd become a grounding rod for me, and I needed to see them. "Babe, I'm trying. I want us to have what everybody else seems to have, and I trust you. Hell, I more than trust you. I know you'd never do anything I wasn't okay with, so yeah, this is okay." I felt his fingers gently pulsing against my skin as I leaned forward and kissed him, sweeping my tongue over his plump lips.

The kisses were amazing. The friction of our bodies rubbing together was sublime. Him…washing my hair and allowing me to wash him was indescribable. Feeling the tender touch of his hands as he tried to show me how he felt while respecting my issues, I knew without a doubt he loved me as much as I loved him. He didn't say it, and I didn't need to hear it. I felt it.

We finished our shower and got out, drying each other with our mouths connected. I had a smile on my face as I absorbed the good feelings. I pulled out my razor and shaving cream as he sat down on the commode with a towel around his waist to watch me.

"Have you thought about a major?" he asked as he crossed his ankle over his knee.

I glanced sideways at him and saw a smile I was happy to see. "I've thought about a few things. Criminal justice with a concentration in law enforcement is one thing. Arresting the bad guys is appealing, but it would mean after I finish school, I'd have to go to the police academy. That's a lot of schooling.

"When I was a kid, I thought I wanted to be a vet, but that's a lot of schooling as well. I thought about teaching, but I can't settle on a subject, though I like history a lot. Maybe I should chuck school and become a stripper," I teased to see if he was paying attention. His eyes had glazed over, and I wasn't sure why.

"I think you'd be…wait, what? A stripper? Oh, hell no. My boyfriend will not make his money taking off his clothes. I'll go along with a lot of shit, but a stripper? Fuck no. This," he gestured down my body as I stood at the sink trying not to laugh at how pissed he'd become in record speed, "is for my eyes only. I'm willing to give you control over a lot of things, Jasper, but I'll put my foot down on that one."

I rinsed the razor and went after my neck, trying not to slit my throat from laughing at his overreaction. I didn't answer him immediately, finishing my task. I washed my face and then stood between his legs where he sat. I put my hands on both sides of his face, and pulled it up to look at me.

"You wouldn't like it if your boyfriend was a stripper?" I teased as I thrust my hips forward a little. His jealousy had turned me the fuck on, and my cock was aching.

"Not one fucking bit." He was very firm in his answer, and it only made me harder. I pulled off the towel around my waist.

"Will you…would you…God, I hate feeling like this."

"You don't need to ask. You just have to say it's okay," he stated softly.

"Please?"

He engulfed my erection in his mouth without another word. It felt so fucking good, I gasped. I looked down my body and saw his soft lips taking me inside him, and I couldn't think. His hands were on my hips, and he was pulling me forward, allowing me to fuck his mouth. I wound a hand in his damp hair, and scratched my fingers against his scalp, losing myself in the feel of his mouth on me. It took all coherent thoughts away.

I rode out the feel of his swirling tongue and the feel of him swallowing around the head of my cock, and when I couldn't take it any longer, I tried to pull away so as not to force him to swallow because I'd never force anything on anyone.

He placed his hands on my ass and held me still, gently but firmly, swallowing around the head until I couldn't hold back. "Fuck, baby, I'm coming," I gasped loudly. It echoed off the bathroom walls, but the rumbling moan from him as he swallowed around me made me forget everything else except the feel of his hands and his mouth.

When he released my softening cock from his mouth, he looked up at me with a smile. "I think we just broke down another brick in the wall, didn't we?"

The Pink Floyd reference made me laugh. "All in all, we're just another brick in the wall? _ Pink Floyd_? How fucking old are you?" I teased as I backed up and pulled him from his seated position.

"Old enough to know what I want, Jasper. I want _you_. I _want_ you for a long time," he whispered against my neck as he kissed his way to my mouth, giving me an incredible kiss. I didn't push him away. I didn't feel threatened. I felt loved, and it felt good.

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_**Another brick in the wall…that's tumbling down, which is nothing like the 'Pink Floyd' song, but…it works. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Hello, all! Thank you for your reviews. I truly appreciate them.**_

_**An answer to an important question. "Is Jasper getting tested?" Yes. In chapter 13, I refer to Edward forcing him to go to a doctor because his back was infected, and for testing. I know a lot goes on in each chapter, but rest assured, Jasper's getting tested.**_

_**So, let's see what they're up to. Still in Cali…**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

21. Cliff Diving

##

"I need your help tomorrow," Carlisle told Edward as we were eating dinner. It was great, and I was starving. Esme Cullen was a hell of a cook, and the meal made me miss my mother, another great cook.

"Not the Christmas lights," Edward whined as he dropped his fork on his plate.

"Hey, don't bitch at me. Go after your mother," Carlisle deflected as he glanced at his wife with a gentle smile.

"You know you love helping your dad do the lights. After Jasper and I finish in the garden, we'll help. Get that scowl off your face. It might freeze there and you're far too handsome for Jasper to have to look at that every day," she taunted. I laughed as I took a drink of my water.

I reached over and squeezed his leg. His parents were fantastic, and it wasn't that big a deal, in my opinion. I remembered helping my dad when he was around, and I'd actually done it myself the year before. That was when I decided I was taking Edward to Forks with me to meet Momma and we'd put up her Christmas lights.

"Help your dad, and I'll help your mom. It'll be good practice for when we go to Forks and put up my mom's," I commented as I squeezed his thigh before I released it.

He turned to me and smiled. "We're going to Forks?"

"If you're up for it? Mom likes her Christmas lights as well, and I had to do them by myself last year. It would be nice to have someone hold the damn ladder," I joked. Esme and Carlisle laughed along with me, and I was relieved.

"Well, when are we going?" he asked as I continued to consume the most incredible casserole I'd ever eaten. The Thanksgiving dinner had been great, but the leftovers were even better.

I thought about it, factoring in finals and Christmas break. "If you're free, next weekend might be the best. We can get it out of the way before we have to study for finals, and she'll have her lights and reindeer all set out. Can you swing that? I have to work on Friday until noon, and my last class is over at two. I'll be ready when you get out at three. We can be there by seven, just in time for dinner," I offered.

"Are you going to, um, we can talk about this later," Edward responded quietly as he glanced at his parents.

I wiped my mouth. "Am I gonna tell my momma you're my boyfriend and I'm bringing you home to meet her proper? You betcha."

He looked at me and smiled, taking my hand and holding it. "Well, okay."

After we cleaned up dinner, Esme and Carlisle went outside with a bottle of wine, and Edward and I lay on the couch to watch television. It was a show he seemed to like so as he laid his head in my lap with my feet propped on the coffee table, I stroked his hair, so happy to be there with him.

When a commercial came on, I touched his cheek and turned his head to look at me. "I love you."

Immediately, the tears hit me, but I blinked them away. His breath stilled as he looked into my eyes. He had a gentle smile on his face, and he held his hand up waiting for me to let him know it was okay. I nodded, and he immediately pulled me over him, grazing his lips with mine.

He pushed me back gently and looked into my eyes. "I love you, too. I've been too afraid to say it, but you opened the door and walked through it, Jasper. No taking it back."

I kissed him again, moving my hand down to his stomach and tickling my fingers over it. He laughed as I kissed him, and it was perfect. "I'd never take it back." I meant it. I didn't know where we'd go from there or how we'd get through the mountain of issues I had, but I held onto that perfect moment because maybe I only got one. If that was it, then I wanted to make it last.

##

I was pacing the spare room like an expectant father. We'd watched television until Edward fell asleep on my lap, both of us eager for his parents to go to bed. I wasn't sure he'd welcome me showing up in his room so late at night, considering how tired he was with surfing. While I wanted to…I wanted to make love to him, I'd considered maybe we should wait until we got back to school on Sunday so we could have privacy. But, when I really thought about it, I didn't want to wait. We'd said the words and I wanted to follow up on it with the physical act in order to cement it in our souls.

I heard the feminine giggle and then the closing of a bedroom door. I grabbed a condom and the lube from my toiletry bag, and I hoped for the best. I tiptoed across the hall and quietly opened the door, happy it wasn't locked.

He was sitting up in bed, naked from the waist up with the light on, leaning against the headboard. He was reading a book, and when he saw me, he tossed it on the floor and pulled the covers back. I closed the door and locked it, lest Esme decide to check on her baby boy in the middle of the night.

I hopped in next to him and kissed him gently. When I pulled back, I looked into his eyes. "What were you reading? I thought you'd be sleeping," I teased.

"Just, um, a book for school. Nothing important," he replied as he slid down the bed, pulling me with him. He looked guilty, and I didn't like it. I reached over the side of the bed and picked up the book, looking at the cover. It wasn't what I expected.

"'_Deliverance'_? What the hell class is this for?" I asked. It was an odd book to be reading.

"It's for, um…don't get mad. I looked up some shit on-line and found an article regarding when a lover…well, something like what we're dealing with. I needed to know, Jasper, how to be supportive of you, and the author of the article used this book as a basis of what someone goes through. I'm trying as much as I can to learn how to be the best partner I can to you, so yeah, I'm reading that book.

"I love you, and I want to be there for you. I don't want to be an insensitive prick, okay? I want to be as supportive as I can, and you aren't in the place to talk about it, so I resorted to trying to figure it out from a book. Please don't take it the wrong way."

It could have gone two ways. I could have pitched a fit and stormed out, but when I weighed his words, he was right. I didn't talk about it with anyone, really, and if he was trying to understand what I was going through, I had to give him a lot of credit. A lot of people wouldn't do that. It was something one did for someone they loved.

I sighed. "I'm not mad, babe. I hate I can't really talk about it. I mean, you know what happened, and I don't fucking know what I can add to it by talking about it. I guess at the end of the day, I just don't understand why he did it. What did they have to gain by doing that to me?" I laid my head against his bare chest and listened to his heartbeat under my ear. It was comforting.

"The only thing I can come up with, and Mom would be the best person to ask, is control. Usually, when people do things like that they want to control someone, even if it's by fear. You turned him down and you weren't intimidated by him. I'd guess it wounded his ego. He probably has some deep seeded issues we'll never know about, but for one reason or another, he didn't like the fact you wouldn't…you refused to do that to him. When he got relocated across campus, it was another blow to his ego, I'd guess.

"He's disturbed, love. He needs to be put under psychiatric care more than you or me, I promise you that," he finished.

I thought about what he said and I sat up, shocked. "I'm no fucking better than him because I…"

Edward grabbed my hands and looked at me, having sat up as well. "No. No, Jasper. You need to control the progression of our relationship because of what _they_ did to you. You're nothing like them. You're absolutely nothing like them."

He gently turned my head and kissed me softly. "I love you. I know you…the sweet, sweet man I met again back in September…and I'll get him back, I know it. You need to be in control right now, so then you just be in control. Now, you came in here for a reason. What can I do for you?" he asked with a sweet smile.

Looking into his eyes brought me clarity, and I'd never lie about that. "I came in here to ask you if I could make love to you. I wanted to back up my words with showing you." _Fuck, did I sound like a pussy? I should have said something else. Something a lot smoother. Fuck, I should leave._

I started to get up when he grabbed my hand. "Nuh-uh. You teased it all day, and I've been waiting. Please, don't go," he pleaded as he kneeled on the mattress and held my hands. The look in his eyes had me hard, and well, I guess I couldn't deny him anything. I wanted him, and he wanted me. What else did I need really?

"I, uh, I know how _not_ to do it, obviously, but I need you to tell me how to make it as painless as possible for you. I know it can be because I've watched enough porn to see it can be done successfully and satisfactorily for both partners. Tell me how," I implored, though it sounded like begging to my ears.

He pulled up my hand, seeing the condom and lube, and he smiled. "You're off to a good start. Pants and shirt off," he ordered. He placed the things on the bedside table, and hurriedly took off his pants as well. We climbed into bed and he pulled the top sheet up over us. We both turned on our sides to face each other, heads resting on our hands, and suddenly, my throat was dry.

He placed his right hand on my neck and gently rubbed his thumb over my jaw. "The getting ready for it is actually part of the fun, love. Don't worry about anything, okay?" I nodded and leaned forward, kissing him gently, once…twice…three times before sweeping my tongue over his bottom lip.

When he moaned, I pushed him onto his back and deepened the kiss, feeling my nerves calm substantially. I noticed the faint hint of mint from his toothpaste on his tongue, mixed with his own unique taste which I was coming to crave.

While I kissed him, I brushed my hands down his chest, tracing the definition of his abs, and feeling him squirm a little. I pulled back to see his eyes were closed and he was smiling. "What's wrong?" _God, why did I have to be so fucking insecure?_

"Nothing at all. Just tickled a little." Tickled? Okay, so the gentle approach wasn't going to exactly get me the panting results I was hoping for. It was time to step things up a bit.

I brushed my hand further down until I found the neatly trimmed patch of curls. I leaned forward again, planting my lips on his neck, kissing first then licking while I scratched my fingers in the curls, tugging gently. I licked up his neck to his ear and whispered, "Still funny?"

Before he could answer, I brushed my thumb over his hard cock, hearing him suck in a breath. _That's more like it!_

I kissed and licked and bit my way down his chest until I got to those curls, and I buried my nose in them, inhaling deeply. "Fuck, Jasper," he moaned quietly.

I licked his cock and blew air on it, glancing up his body to see him watching me. That turned me on a lot. I bobbed my head up and down on him, not taking my eyes from his, and I watched him reach over to the nightstand and grab the lube. My hands were resting on his abs, my fingers gently scratching him, and I felt the gentle shiver.

I released him from my mouth and looked up. "Cold?" I knew I was teasing him a little, but I was trying like hell to calm myself so I didn't shoot off before I ever got on the fucking condom.

"Not hardly. Here," he ordered as he took my right hand and squeezed some lube on it. He opened his legs wide and bent his knees, giving me access to his tight entrance. He took my index finger and began swirling it around the opening, spreading the lube.

"Start with one, and after I get used to that, then add another, and then another. It's been…well, it might take a little time." I nodded and decided maybe I should continue to torture him to help him relax, so I bent forward and took him back in my mouth, gently rolling his balls with my left hand as I continued to prepare him.

By the time I had the third finger inside him, he was thrusting onto them and into my mouth at the same time, clutching the sheet in his fists. Suddenly, I felt something hit me in the head, and when I looked up, I saw the condom he'd thrown at me resting on his stomach.

I laughed as I released him from my mouth. "Open it, hot shot. I'm kinda busy here." He grabbed it and opened it with shaking hands. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him, not moving my fingers.

"Babe, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to," I began. I didn't want him to be afraid. Fuck, I was afraid enough for both of us.

"_NO! _I swear to God, if you stop I'll impale myself on you. I'm trying to keep from blowing before we get to the good stuff. Please, put that fucking thing on and get inside me." _Oh? Hmm. Not what I expected at all._

I removed my fingers from his ass and quickly slid on the condom, just like I'd been taught in health class. I moved closer to him and pushed his knees up to give me access. I teased the head of my cock against his hole, and then remembered I needed more lube. I slathered myself up and slid my hand down his cock to give him some friction.

"If it starts to hurt, tell me and I'll pull out," I ordered. He nodded, and I took a deep breath. I held my cock with one hand and nervously guided it to him, beginning to push inside. Once the head was inside, I looked at him to see eyes were closed tightly.

"We're not doing this. I'm not…"

"If you take your dick out of my ass, I'll never speak to you again," he stated a little louder than necessary.

"_Shh_! Your parents just came up a few minutes a go," I chastised. He surprised me by laughing which made him clench a little, tightening around my cock. Fuck, it felt good.

"Jasper, don't talk about my parents when I'm trying to keep my sanity because you're taking too fucking long to fuck me." With that, he moved his legs, hooking his feet around my ass and pulling me inside him further. I pulled back a little and had to close my eyes because I almost shot off.

He was breathing hard, but he didn't relent, pulling himself onto me slowly. When I felt my balls against his ass, I stopped him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just give me a minute," he whispered. I reached forward and took his hands, kissing the top of each of them before I bent forward and kissed his sternum, trying not to move.

I looked up at him and saw the smile. "I love you, Edward." It felt important to tell him in that moment because what he was doing for me was something I wasn't sure I could ever do for him. He absolutely deserved to be reminded I loved him and I appreciated him giving himself to me.

He placed his hands on both sides of my face and gently pulled me up to look into his eyes. "I love you, too. I'll love you more if you move," he teased. I laughed, pulled back, and pushed in slowly, bringing loud moans from both of us.

He sealed my mouth with his and I proceeded to slowly make love to my boyfriend. I kissed him and moved inside him, trying to hold off as long as I could before I exploded. He was kissing me back and moaning, which gave me every indication he was enjoying it as much as me. "Lean up and pull me onto your thighs, baby," he instructed.

I hated I couldn't kiss him in this position, but when I did as he said, he moaned loudly. "Prostate," he groaned. I knew what it was; I was just surprised my dick hit it when I was fucking him. Since he liked it, I made sure not to change the position.

"Harder, baby," he begged. I wasn't so sure about that, but when he reached down and grabbed my waist, pulling me forcefully into him, and then he cried out "Fuck, yes," I realized I must be doing something right, so I continued pounding into him and picking up the pace because my belly was beginning to tighten, not to mention my balls, and I knew exactly what was about to happen.

I reached down and grasped his hard cock, sliding my hand up and down the shaft and swirling my hand around the head, stroking the ridge while adding a bit of pressure. "Oh, fuck, yes, Jasper. Just like that, baby. I'm about to come. Please don't fucking stop," he pleaded. _Oh, I don't think I could stop for anything in the world._

"Yessss!" he hissed and shot off in my hand. I let go right behind him, slowing my stroke to ride it out, my mind fantastically blown, just like my load.

I bent forward and rested my sweaty head on his chest, trying to catch my breath. I felt his fingers gently stroking my scalp, and I knew the meaning of true bliss.

I felt myself beginning to soften, so I sat up and held onto the condom, seeing him wince a little, which worried me. I got up and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, and I looked down as I took it off, grateful to see there was no sign of blood. I hadn't hurt him, which gave me a little relief.

I wrapped it in a tissue and tossed it in the trash can, grabbing a washcloth and towel to clean him up. When I returned to the bedroom, I couldn't look at him. I kneeled between his legs, seeing he hadn't moved. I wiped down his chest where he'd shot off, then I moved lower and gently cleaned him, happy to see there was no sign of blood there either.

I dried him, and then went back to the bathroom to toss the things into the hamper. I grabbed two ibuprofens and filled a glass with water before I went back into the room. I nervously sat on the side of the bed and placed my hand on his chest because his eyes were closed.

"Babe, are you okay?" His eyes shot open, and he smiled brightly, sitting up and leaning on his left hand.

"I'm fine, love. Are you okay? You didn't say anything, and you hurried away. Was it too much?" He looked worried, and I realized where I'd fucked up. I had to make it right.

"No, baby, it was amazing. I just wanted to get you cleaned up and make sure I didn't hurt you. Here, take these," I ordered as I started to hand him the pills. He didn't move, only opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue.

I chuckled as I placed the pills on his tongue and offered him the water. When he swallowed, he took the glass and placed it on the bedside table, turning off the light and pulling me into the bed with him.

"I know you can't sleep here, but will you stay for a bit?" he asked. I settled on my side, my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair again.

"Jasper, was it…was it what you expected?" I could hear he was concerned, and I couldn't have that at all.

"Oh, hell yes. It was fucking awesome. How, um, how about you?" I asked nervously.

He gently lifted my chin to look into his eyes, which were only visible because of the moonlight coming in through the French doors that led to a balcony. He was smiling, and my nerves calmed a bit.

"It was incredible, Jasper. It didn't hurt. It just burned a bit until I got used to you, but then it felt really fucking good. I had no idea it felt like that, and I'm glad I didn't find out until I was with you. I hate that fucker so much I could walk back to Seattle and kill him with my bare hands right now."

He leaned forward and kissed me gently, and I felt my heart stutter a little. It was so intimate, almost like what I'd witnessed when I watched his parents that morning, and I truly had hope in my heart for the first time in a long time. I hoped we could be together just like them for a very long time, and I had hope I'd get to a point where I'd be able to have him make love to me. That was a goal. If I held myself back from him, I was allowing those fucking pricks to have control over me like he'd mentioned. I was not going to live my life like that.

\\\

_**Aw…they made love. What do we all think?**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Thank you so much for your reviews. I truly love reading them.**_

_**I agree…the last chapter was much more than a baby step. Let's see where the boys are…**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

22. The _After…_

##

I woke with a start, my eyes flashing open to unfamiliar surroundings. I'd been dreaming of making love to Edward, but when I saw the soft green walls, I knew I wasn't in the spare room which was done in blue and tan tones. When I turned to my left, I felt the brush of wild hair against my nose and looked down to see Edward lying on my shoulder. It was then I felt his hand holding mine between us, and I figured out I'd fallen asleep in his bed. That actually made me happy.

I glanced at the clock, seeing it was just after seven, so I gently slipped out of bed, covered him back up, and kissed him on the forehead. I pulled on my t-shirt and sleep pants, and unlocked the door to hurry across the hallway to my room.

I grabbed my stuff and went to the bathroom, quickly taking care of morning business. After I was dressed, I stopped by Edward's room, peeking in to see he was still sleeping. He had his arms around the pillow I'd slept on, and he was smiling. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and took a picture of it to remind me of the wonderful night, not that the memory would ever dull in my mind or my heart.

I pulled the door closed quietly and hurried downstairs before either of the Cullens caught me. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw Esme sitting at the table with half a grapefruit, scoring it. She had coffee and juice on the counter, and she was reading something that rested on the table next to her.

When she heard me, she pulled off her glasses and looked up, smiling gently. "Good morning, sweetie. How'd you sleep?"

I poured myself some coffee and added cream and sugar, taking a seat across from her. "I actually slept like the dead," I told her happily.

She giggled as she took a bite of her grapefruit. When she swallowed, she winked at me. "Sex'll do that to you." I was grateful I'd just swallowed my coffee or I'd have spewed all over her.

"Miss…Miss Esme…" I began my protest. I really didn't know what to say, so I shut up.

"Oh, don't look so worried. You boys weren't exactly quiet. Carlisle isn't quiet either which is why we had our room soundproofed before we moved in. The only reason I heard you was because I got up to bring the empty wine bottle and glasses down. Besides, Jasper, my son's twenty-one and far from innocent."

_Well, I'd agree, but what I did to him last night was a first. Probably not going to tell his mother about that._

"I'm not sure what to say, ma'am. I meant no disrespect," I responded, not able to look her in the eye.

"None taken, sweetie. So, how did you feel after? Did it trigger anything for you?"

I glanced at the clock, seeing it was just 7:20 AM. "Now, Dr. Platte's not on duty until eight." She laughed again. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her about our sex life, but I could see, as my pseudo-therapist, she'd be concerned with regard to "after." I'd have to think about how we broached the subject.

"_Touché_. Can I fix you anything? There are bagels and English muffins. I could make you an egg, if you'd like. I'd planned to make a breakfast casserole, but time just got away from me last night." Her cheeks flushed a bit, and I laughed.

I decided to tease her a little. "It does tend to get away from you when you have a handsome Cullen attached to your lips." I saw the look of surprise on her face before she cracked up. I laughed with her because I knew she wasn't expecting me to say anything of the sort, but I felt so incredible after the beautiful night I'd spent with my beautiful boy, I didn't think anything could bring me down.

We were both laughing so hard, tears were rolling down our cheeks. She got up and grabbed tissues from a drawer, handing one to me and kissing my forehead before she took her seat. We were both drying our eyes, having calmed down considerably when Carlisle came in from the garage.

He didn't see me, only having eyes for his wife, so when he walked over to her and sunk down on his knees, I stayed perfectly still. Before she could tell him they had company, he captured her face in his hands much like his son did to me on occasion, and kissed her passionately.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "Last night was incredible, sweetheart. I felt like I was seventeen again," he said quietly…well, not too quietly because I heard him.

I cleared my throat and saw him stiffen immediately. He slowly turned to his left and saw me sitting at the end of the table. "Morning, Doc," I taunted as I sipped my coffee.

"Good morning, Jasper." He turned to look at her, still holding her face. "Thanks a lot, Es."

She giggled. "Like I could get a word out before you bounded in here and kissed me stupid? It's your fault you forgot the boys were here this weekend. Do you want some breakfast? I was about to make something for Jasper."

He chuckled. "I believe I'm supposed to cook this morning. I distinctly remember a bargain being made at some point," he responded cryptically. I had to wonder what she did to get that concession out of him.

"Oh, that's right. Well, I'd like French toast," she demanded with a sly smile.

He laughed as he left the room. I heard him run up the stairs and pound on a door. "Son, up and at 'em. Downstairs. Okay."

I turned to Esme for come clarification. "Carlisle can only make scrambled eggs and toast. French toast isn't hard, but he claims he can't do it. Edward, however, makes excellent French toast."

I nodded in acknowledgment, though I'd never had it. I'd had other things he made when I'd been at the apartment, but breakfast was never one of them. _Maybe now that we've opened the door to sex?_

Carlisle came back into the kitchen through the hallway and stopped next to me, placing his hand on my back. I flinched involuntarily, and I immediately hated myself. Thankfully, I knew he was there and didn't hit him, but he still pulled his hand away quickly. "I'm sorry, son."

"No, Doc, it's okay. I know you didn't…I'm trying to get passed it."

He nodded and walked to the counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee. There was suddenly tension in the air, and I hated it. Esme, however, was quick to diffuse it. "Did you wake him?"

Carlisle turned and smiled. "I did."

"I didn't hear any cussing," she responded.

He sat down. "First thing he asked… '_where's Jasper_'. I told him downstairs waiting for French toast, and he said he'll be right down." He had a smirk on his face I didn't understand.

"No way? It's nowhere near noon." She seemed surprised which was puzzling.

"Way," he responded as he looked in my direction and smiled. "Can I get you to help me with something for a minute?" I nodded, knowing I owed him an apology.

I followed him out to the garage and saw a large box sitting in the middle of the floor. The side had a label, _Xmas Lights_, and I was a little worried. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to have a word with you. I had the opportunity to speak with a colleague yesterday. She's the head of plastic surgery at the hospital. I didn't tell her anything about you; I just described the scarring on your back and asked her what could be done about it. She gave me a few options."

I was surprised he'd taken the time to ask someone about it, and I could tell he was worried about my reaction, but I wanted to put him at ease. "Look, Doc…Carlisle, I appreciate it, and I'm sorry about my reaction in there, but you don't need to go out of your way to…"

He held up his hand to stop me. "Jasper, son, I'm not doing anything for you I wouldn't do for anyone in my family. Now, Jane Volturi, the surgeon, said there are a few options. Laser removal is one option, but it's quite painful and the scarring won't go away. Depending on how many sessions it takes to remove the ink, it could actually get worse, so I'd say that's not something you'd want." I nodded.

"Another method is IPLT, which is Intense Pulse Light Therapy. It's less painful, and she says it works better, but it's extremely expensive. I can cost up to ten dollars a pulse, and going in, there's no way of knowing how many pulses would be necessary to remove the ink." That sounded like an open-ended money-sucking option, not that any of them were up my alley because I was sure my mother's health insurance wouldn't cover any of it. Even if it did, my mom would find out about it, and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Sorry, Doc, not independently wealthy," I commented. He nodded and went on.

"There are topical creams, but the effectiveness is sketchy. There's actual surgery, which can do more damage than good, but she suggested something I hadn't considered." I looked at him, waiting with baited breath. If he had something I could do which wouldn't cause me to have to prostitute myself to pay for it, I was eager to hear it.

"A tattoo. Working with a good artist, you could design something that would hide the ink and the scarring. It could be incorporated in a design, and nobody would ever notice it. I'd say…well, talk to Esme, but I think you'd be reclaiming your back. I mean, if you covered it with something of your own design which means something to you, I'm not saying it would take away the pain of the incident, but it would be _yours_.

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought I'd mention it to you as something to consider," he finished.

"I, uh, I never thought about anything like that. I wouldn't know what to put back there. I'd like it to cover that whole thing, and maybe I can get this bite mark covered as well," I commented as I pointed to the scar. He walked closer and held up his hands. I nodded and he touched it, feeling the rough scar left at the top of my shoulder. Edward was careful never to lick or suck there, and I was grateful. I didn't want the fucking reminder.

"Our daughter, Kate, is a graphic designer. If you ever decide you want to take that step, I can put you in touch with her and she could maybe design something that's personal for you. She did this for me," he stated as he pulled up his t-shirt, showing me his left shoulder. There were two cherubs on it, one a girl and one a boy which I guessed were for Edward and Kate. They were looking at each other with smiles, and beneath each were dates. I assumed they were birthdates. They were pretty damn cool and totally unexpected.

He then dropped his shirt and took off his wedding ring, showing me a tat on his left ring finger. It was Esme's name and a date which circled his finger. "Katie designed this one as well. I have to take off my wedding ring for surgery, but I'm always a married man." Then, he leaned forward. "It doesn't hurt to have my anniversary date tattooed there either. Never missed one yet," he joked, which made me laugh, relieving the tension.

"Thanks, Doc. That's something I'll definitely think about." He patted my shoulder and we walked back inside. Edward was at the counter mixing something, and when he saw us come back in, he smiled.

"There's my man. Come here," he ordered.

I walked over to him as Carlisle went to the table. "What time did you finally get to bed? I'm sorry I asked you to stay," he whispered as he laid out thick bread on a baking sheet and covered it with a yellow mixture. He turned to me and waited.

I leaned forward and pecked him on the lips, hooking my fingers in the loops on his khaki shorts to pull him closer. "I woke up in your bed at seven. I was able to sneak back to my room and get a shower and stuff. Your mom was up when I came down. You, my dear boyfriend, were out like a light," I whispered as he smiled cockily.

"I don't doubt it. You fucked me into a coma." I cracked up, catching attention from his parents.

"They're cute," I heard his mother comment. I felt my face flush, but she already knew what had happened, so it was too late to worry about it.

I looked at him and saw the unmistakable look of love. Throwing caution to the wind, I leaned forward and kissed him again, though chastely. When I pulled away, I whispered, "I love you, but I'm fucking starving. Remember, I worked up quite an appetite last night."

He laughed and went back to cooking, and when the food was put on the table, I nearly came in my shorts at the taste of the French toast. Oh, he was going to make it again when we got back to school. It was a secret that shouldn't have been kept.

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_**A little light-hearted morning. Valuable info from Carlisle, and an impending session with Dr. Platte. I'd say Jasper's taking things in stride.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Thank you for your reviews. I love reading them, and I'm so happy you're with me. We've broken 200, and I'm smiling broadly.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's see where the boys are. Still in Cali, but as the title states, thanks to Mr. Jimmy Buffett for loaning the lyric, Jasper's ready to get home. I don't own that song either.**_

_**\\\**_

23. "California Has Worn Me Quite Thin"

##

I flopped on the spare bed, completely exhausted. It was four o'clock in the afternoon, and Edward had gone to get his haircut. Thankfully, he wasn't offended when I begged off going with him. I had a lot to think about, and I was grateful for the time alone.

I thought about all the information Carlisle had given me that morning regarding my back. The tattoo was looking like the way to go but what to put there? Hell if I knew.

During my therapy session with Dr. Platte, I'd not only learned how to prune roses but I'd learned her strategy for my therapy. My parents weren't the issue at all. It was what had happened to me that night in my dorm room, and how I was going to deal with it. When she asked me questions I wasn't prepared to answer at the moment, she say, "Let's put a pin in that for now and come back to it at a later date." I appreciated it because she gave me a lot of shit to think about it.

She also gave me homework. I was to make a list of traits of my three selves. I didn't realize I had three selves, but when she explained it, I got her point.

"_I want you to make three lists of the phases of your life. I want you to describe Former Jasper, the guy you were before the attack. I want you to list what you liked about him and what you disliked about him. I want to get a sense of who you were before this happened._

"_I want you to describe After Jasper, the guy you are now. I want you to give me words regarding what you like about yourself and what you don't like about yourself right now. _

"_Then, I want you to make a list for Future Jasper, the guy you'd like to become. I want to know what about Former Jasper and After Jasper you want to retain, and what you want to leave behind. They can be as long or short as they need to be, but I want you to put some thought into them." _

I nodded when we set the schedule of phone calls for Wednesday afternoon, my day off, and Saturday afternoon. She gave me about a dozen different ways to reach her, and she told me she was available 24/7, either as Dr. Platte, my therapist, or Esme Cullen, my boyfriend's mother. I actually hugged her when we were finished, and then we went to help my bitching boyfriend and his father hang the Christmas lights around their home.

Apparently, they put their tree up on Christmas Eve, but Esme decorated every day from Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve. I was sorry I wouldn't see the finished product because I'd be in Forks for Christmas with my mom, but Esme promised to remind Edward to take pictures for me.

Just as I was dozing off, my phone rang. I picked it up from its place on the nightstand where it was charging to see it was my mother. "Hey, Momma," I greeted cheerily.

"JJ, honey, how are ya? How was Thanksgiving?" She knew I was going with Edward to California because I'd called her so she wouldn't worry. She didn't know, however, I'd fallen in love with the man.

"It was really nice, Momma. Mrs. Cullen's a very kind woman and has made me feel very welcome," I answered honestly.

"I'm glad. I vaguely remember her and Dr. Cullen. Wasn't she a doctor of some sort?" Mom asked. Apparently, I was the only one who didn't know about Esme's career.

"Uh, yeah, she's a psychiatrist. How was the parade and everything? Are you and Rose getting along?" I asked.

"The parade was good, but it's awfully cold here. We went to a fancy buffet for dinner, even though I offered to cook. Your sister didn't want the leftovers, if you can imagine that. Anyway, we went to see '_Phantom of the Opera_' yesterday. It was amazing. Today, we took the ferry out to Liberty Island, and did a bit of sightseeing.

"Rose has a date tonight so I'm going to rest up from all of the activity, but I'll be heading home tomorrow. What time is your flight back?" she asked.

"We get back at noon. I've got homework, so we're leaving at ten. What time do you get in?" I asked, wondering if I could wait for her at the airport before she made the long drive back to Forks. I'd missed her.

"Oh, honey, I get in at three o'clock. I wish I had time to drop by the university to see you, but I've got to work on Monday. Actually, it's a double, so I need to get to bed early," she informed.

I sighed. "Momma, why don't you pay the damn house off and stop working double shifts? You know you don't have to," I argued.

She laughed her familiar, warm laugh. "JJ, that money is for you, your sister, and my retirement. As long as I'm able to work, I'm not going to be foolish with money. Your daddy worked hard for that money, and I won't disrespect him by going on a spending frenzy."

"Fine, but get a new car, Momma. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but that car is on its last leg. I'll take a second job, or drop out of college altogether to buy you a car if I have to," I threatened.

She giggled. "Don't you do such a thing, Jasper. I've been looking at cars on the internet to see what's going to work the best, so it's not as if I haven't been thinking about it. Now, when are ya coming home?" she asked.

I stilled my nerves and answered, "Actually, if you don't have to work, I'd like to come home next weekend and put up the Christmas lights. I asked Edward to come with me."

I nervously waited for her to answer. After a few seconds, she did. "That's sweet of you. I'll make sure I'm off on…when are ya coming?"

I was relieved. "We should get there sometime Friday evening. We're aiming for dinner time. That okay?" I asked. I needed to tell her he was my boyfriend, but maybe it was better to tell her in person? Hell if I knew.

"I'll fry chicken. I can't wait to see you, JJ. I've missed my baby boy," she gushed. I knew my face was glowing, but she was "Momma." She loved me and always made sure I knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"You, too. Tell Rose I said hi."

I heard a bell ding in the background. "I will. I think that's her young man. I'm going to let ya go so I can meet him. She's tryin' to get out of it, but you know me better than that. I can't wait to meet your young man either…well, officially. Love you."

"Uh, yeah, Momma. Love you, too," I responded, stunned at her skills of perception. I'd have to quiz her on how she knew Edward was "my young man." She had to be psychic.

##

"Love, it looks great," Edward repeated…for likely the tenth time. I was fucking with my hair, and he'd brought home some sort of shit from the salon that was supposed to help with the curls. When I looked at my hair in the mirror, I looked like a fucking poodle.

"Nope," I replied, digging through my bag and pulling out an elastic band. I combed it again, and pulled it back securely. It wasn't exactly perfect, but it was out of the way.

He walked up behind me, keeping a bit of distance and placed his hands on my shoulders, slowly. "Now, it looks perfect. Can I kiss your neck?" he asked.

I smiled and backed into his body. He didn't move his hands but he did swoop down and lick my neck on the opposite side as the scar. I was grateful, and it reminded me I wanted to talk to him about what his father had told me regarding a tattoo. I didn't know how he felt about them, and it mattered to me. Just because his father had a couple didn't mean Edward liked them. I would make the decision on my own, unlike _Former Jasper_, but I did want to know his opinion.

His eyes met mine in the mirror as he sucked a little. I knew what he was doing. He was marking me because we were going to a club, and I had every intention of doing the same thing to him. His eyes were questioning, and I smiled. "Go ahead, but I'm doing the same to you, babe." He moaned and turned me around to face him, resuming his place on my neck as his arms wrapped around me.

Thankfully, I could reach his at the same time, so I sucked the tender skin into my mouth and tugged it with my teeth, hearing a very pleasing sound of pleasure from him. I sucked the skin into my mouth and then released it, slathering my tongue over it to sooth it. We pulled away at the same time, and as childish as it was, we turned to look into the mirror, comparing markings.

I looked into his eyes, and we both laughed. "Fine, I can't stamp my name on your forehead, but I can definitely let the guys know you belong to me. If they dispute it, I'll show my matching one, and they'll know I'm yours and you're mine," he reasoned.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his ass, squeezing it a bit. "How's _this_?" I asked.

He smiled. "I've been deliciously reminded all day long that my man is hung. Trust me, what you did to me last night was worth a little limp this morning. Dad teased the shit out of me while we were hanging the lights. I have a feeling he knows what happened last night."

I felt oddly proud he had a little limp, and I didn't let my mind wander too far down the path of how it felt to walk the next day. The implications of that thought process would put me under the bed.

I shrugged it off and smiled. "Your mom heard us. Don't think it didn't come up with Dr. Platte." I remembered the discussion, which was uncomfortable at best.

"_Jasper, you've embarked on a new chapter with your boyfriend. How do you feel about it?" I looked at her like she was crazy. She leaned toward me and put her hand up to the side of her mouth as if she had a secret._

"_I'm your doctor, not your boyfriend's mother right now. I won't let Esme hear what you have to say, I promise." I laughed._

"_Well, Dr. Platte, I was nervous because my history with the act isn't exactly stellar, but we talked about it and we took our time."_

"_What was your biggest worry?"_

_I didn't look at her, but I gave her question extensive consideration as I counted the leaves on the rosebush I was pruning. I was looking for five, and she was right. Having something to do with my hands made it a lot easier to talk about things._

"_I was worried I would hurt him," I answered honestly._

"_And did you?" she asked, nonplussed._

"_Amazingly, no. He told me he enjoyed it, and I have to believe him."_

"_Do you see, based on this experience, a normal sexual encounter with someone about which you care is nothing like what you experienced?" Her question was like a smack in the face._

_I sighed and closed my eyes. "I do now, but based on the fact I'd never had many sexual encounters, and was actually, technically, a virgin when it happened, it was hard to see it wouldn't be awful. My boyfriend was able to show me that wasn't the case," I responded, turning back to the rose bush._

"_Oh no," she gasped. She then excused herself, claiming she'd pricked her finger. I had a feeling Dr. Platte and Esme Cullen had crossed paths and it was more than she could handle._

"God, how bad was it?" he asked as he took my hands from his ass and led me out of the guest bathroom. We were ready to go pick up his friends. I was wearing his clothes…a pair of his slacks, charcoal grey, and a light blue button-down shirt. He'd picked it out, and I was quite happy with it.

"It wasn't that bad. She's very good at separating herself from being your mother, and she doesn't push me. She gives me things to think about, and well, I've got homework. We'll talk about it another time, okay? I'm just ready to show off my boyfriend." He leaned forward and kissed my lips after I finished.

I followed his gorgeous ass down the stairs, quite pleased with how he looked in the black slacks and white shirt. I wasn't sure what kind of club it was, but based on the way we were dressed, I hoped it wasn't too wild. It would be my first time at a club, and I was a little worried about it.

His parents were eating dinner, so we stopped in the kitchen to say good-night. "We're off. Don't wait up," he told his parents.

"I won't bail you out. You know my stance," Carlisle stated firmly.

Edward sighed. "Yes, Dad, I remember the incredible night I spent in the lock-up in Seattle before I could get a friend to bail me out. I had to pull the money from my savings to pay him back, so I don't plan on wasting more money on bail. We're going out with Gia and Chelsea, so it's not going to be a wild night," he assured.

I felt like shit about it because it was over me that he'd gotten arrested. "I'll pay you back," I told him quietly. I could see the look on Carlisle's face at my words, and he was immediately contrite.

"Did you…was it…you didn't tell us why." Esme was stammering, and I wanted to die.

Edward grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "It doesn't matter why. It happened, and I've dealt with it. We'll see you in the morning for breakfast."

He pulled me out of the house, only allowing me to call out a good-bye before he closed the front door. "Ignore them and forget about it. We're going to have fun tonight, and I refuse to let that shit get in the way of it. So, about Chels and Gia. They're extremely demonstrative…to the point where they'll draw attention just trying to piss people off. Best advice…ignore them and walk away like you don't know them. That's what I always do when they get embarrassing."

We climbed into the SUV and he drove us down the block to another huge estate. We got out after he parked the vehicle, and we walked up to the front door. Edward rang the bell and leaned forward to kiss me just as it opened.

I turned to see a man in a suit standing there, waiting for us to greet him. "Randall, we're here to call for Gia and Chelsea," he stated.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen. They're on the terrace having cocktails. Shall I summon a taxi, sir?"

"Give us thirty minutes. I want Jasper to meet Renata and Gregory. Are they here?" Edward asked.

"Of course, sir. They're outside."

The man closed the door and started ushering us toward a set of French doors. "Randall, I know the way. Thank you."

"Of course, sir." He turned and left us. I looked at Edward and he laughed. "He's the butler. Get ready to meet the pretentious Hollywood types. Now, a little background. Renata's from Alabama. She took diction lessons to rid herself of the accent, so she sounds a lot like Madonna now.

"Gregory is from Miami. I've heard he started out in the business as a producer of porn videos, but now he's this prima donna Hollywood producer. Thankfully, Gia is entertaining. Do not, I repeat, do not get freaked out. They are just like you and me."

I laughed because he was nothing like me. I was a kid from Texas who moved around a lot and ended up in a town the population of the crew of an aircraft carrier. He, well, he was something else.

He opened the door and eased into a personality I'd never seen in my life. He held my hand and pulled me behind him, greeting the couple. "Greg, Renata, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock. Jasper, this is Renata and Gregory Collins. Those two over there who are quite inappropriately making out are Gianna Collins and Chelsea Harrelson. Ladies, pull it out, will ya."

I laughed, as did Gianna's parents. "What can I get you boys to drink?" the father asked.

"I'll have a Johnny Walker on the rocks. Babe," he asked as he turned to me. I wasn't a liquor drinker by any stretch, so I swallowed hard.

"If you have any beer, that's fine. Otherwise, just a club soda," I requested.

"Ah, a simple man. Remarkable." The man strolled over to a refrigerator and pulled out three beers, walking back to me.

"What's your pleasure, Jasper?" He held up a Budweiser, a Newcastle, and a Corona. Me, being the "simple man" chose the Budweiser.

"Thank you, sir."

The man laughed and went to pour Edward a drink. "Now, drop that nonsense. I think I'll join you. Ren's French champagne isn't exactly to my liking." He opened the Corona and went to a little dish, pulling a lime and slipping it into the neck of the bottle.

He walked over to where Edward was standing next to me, talking to the wife, and he handed him the drink. "Edward, have you thought about my offer?"

Edward turned and smiled a fake smile. "Greg, I still have a year of undergrad and then another year for my master's. I've already got an internship lined up for next semester, so I'm not ready to sign a contract to work for your production company." It was fucking news to me.

"My money guy is old and I'm looking for someone to take his place. You're shrewd, Edward. This could be your ticket," the man replied.

I was so fucking stupid. He was set to have a bright future, and I was so naïve I hadn't even began thinking about mine. I was just starting a college career. The ideas of a future with him were ridiculous, and in that moment, I knew it.

I turned to the woman, Renata, who looked to be pretty hammered. "Mrs. Collins, you have a lovely home," I offered.

She giggled. "Oh, you boys always love our home. I guess you have ideas about how you'd decorate it differently? Well, come on, darling. Give me your opinion," she responded as she took my arm and began leading me away.

"Ren, sorry, but we need to go. Maybe another time. Chels, Gia, if you're going, come on," Edward demanded, rescuing me from the mother, for which I was grateful.

The two girls finally separated themselves and walked over to us. "You're the hot boy toy I spoke with? The one he goes on about all the time?" the one I assumed was Gia greeted. I didn't appreciate her comment at all.

"I believe I told you I wasn't a boy toy," I stated, feigning confidence. I was out of my fucking league, but I wouldn't let it show.

"Oh, now Twinkle Toes, don't get your thong in a knot. Clearly, you're the bitch in the relationship." She seemed smug in her statement, and I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but she was Edward's friend and I wasn't going to be rude.

"Gia, stop it or go alone," Edward stated firmly to her. He looked at her sternly, and then he wrapped my arm around his waist. I appreciated he was trying to make me comfortable, but a Valium wasn't going to calm me down at that point.

Edward Cullen was so far above me in the social strata, I couldn't see the soles of his feet. I was the chopped liver to his filet mignon. He was up and coming and I was…nothing but a small town boy with no direction and a hell of a lot of shit I was pulling up hill behind me.

I'd been fooling myself that there was any way I could be accepted into…hell, I didn't know how to explain it, but I knew I didn't belong.

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_**Not looking promising at all. Let me hear from you.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Thank you for your reviews. I have one comment to make, and it's important to me to make it because I never intended this story to just be a substitution of a girl for a boy. I don't believe Jasper is the "Bella" in this story. The fact he doesn't feel as if he fits in where Edward lives has everything to do with the fact Jasper comes from simple means. He's never been exposed to that lifestyle, and hell, if I was thrust into that Hollywood life…I wouldn't fit in either.**_

_**So, let's see what happens on the night out.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

24. A Bad Night with the Beautiful People

##

The cab came, and we all walked out after good-byes to the Collins'. I was quiet, and I could see he was worried. He and I settled into the third row seat with the girls in the middle, and he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Love, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing." I lied.

We went to a restaurant where a hamburger was twenty bucks, and the girls gushed about the celebrities around and then proceeded to rip on their outfits. Surprisingly to me, Edward joined in with them. I kept my mouth shut, but it was an unbecoming side of him I'd never seen.

After we split the bill, which was way the fuck out of my price range, we went to _Akbar_. It had a middle-eastern themed club, and I couldn't lie and say it wasn't cool…if you were into that sort of thing. I wasn't.

The girls ordered pitchers of Sangria, and we found ourselves at a table. There was a singer behind a piano, and it seemed like every thirty seconds, someone came to the table to speak to one of the three of them. Edward didn't introduce me to anyone, and I didn't really give a shit about not meeting them, but he was acting strangely.

The girls continued to cut on people around us, sometimes loudly enough for them to look our way. That was, when they didn't have their tongues shoved down each other's throats. Edward just laughed along with them, obviously not embarrassed by their behavior. My momma would have slapped me if she'd seen me sitting there listening to it.

Suddenly, Chelsea got up, grabbed a glass of sangria, and walked over to a girl in a white dress. The girl looked up excitedly and smiled at Chelsea who said something to her. The girl nodded and started to get up after looking at our table. Chelsea laughed and dumped the whole drink on her head. "What the fuck?" I gasped.

"Chels has a thing about having one-of-a-kind dresses. That girl's dress is like one Chels has. Obviously, she won't be wearing that again. So, anyway, Edward, Clay actually started crying when he was relating the story to me. I laughed in his fucking face. Can you believe he thought Gerard wasn't using him?"

"I can't believe he thought he was the only guy Gerry was fucking at the time," Edward replied casually.

Finally, I got my fill. The whole scene wasn't me at all, and I hated being there. I turned to him and tapped his shoulder. "I'm going to call it a night. You stay and get caught up with your friends. I'll see you in the morning."

I got up from the table and walked out. If those two were his friends and he thought they were fun, we had nothing in common. I found them obnoxious exhibitionists, and I didn't find anything fun about it.

I went out to the curb and tried to hail a cab. I pulled out my wallet and saw I all I had left was fifty bucks. I'd take the cab as far as it would go for the price and walk the rest of the way. I'd drained my savings to go with him, and it was becoming more apparent to me as the night wore on that I knew I needed to break it off. I couldn't afford to live his lifestyle, what with hundred-dollar pitchers of drinks and twenty-dollar hamburgers. I was a dollar-menu guy. Obviously, Edward wasn't.

I felt a hand on my arm, and I wheeled around. I saw Edward standing there with his hands in the air in a non-confrontational stance. "What?" I asked harshly.

"I'm sorry. I should have known this wouldn't be anything you'd like. Please, don't leave without me." He looked pathetic and I felt awful, but I had to make him understand it just wasn't my style.

"Edward, this just isn't me, okay? I hate parties, and I now hate clubs even more. I'm not…If you're into this? You and me? Night and day, babe. I love you…very much as a matter of fact…but this whole night hasn't been anything I'd ever want to repeat. These people aren't living in the real world.

"You thrive in this environment, and God, I'm so fucking intimidated by everything. I don't fit in," I bitched again as I paced in front of him. Hell, I was wearing _his _clothes. I didn't even have _clothes_ for that shit.

"Jasper, this isn't…this is where my parents live, okay? Why do you think I chose to go to school in Washington? I learned how to play the game here, but I don't like it. That job offer from Gregory Collins? I'd rather hang myself from a fucking overpass than take that job. I have an internship lined up in Seattle, and I'm hoping it turns into a job offer because I want to stay in Seattle where you are.

"I know I fell into the phoniness when we got to Gia's house, and I'm sorry I did. This club shit? I did this more than I wanted back in the day. I hate it. I just wanted you to meet the girls because they used to be fun. They just…hell, I don't know what's wrong with them now."

I chuckled. "They think I'm too young for you. Oh, and too uncivilized or cultured. My hags are Bella and Angela, and they are likely two of the least sophisticated girls on campus, but if you want to sit and eat popcorn and watch bad movies while taking tequila shots, they're your girls. They listen. They sympathize, and they care.

"Those two? I have no idea how to reconcile them with the Edward I love." I held my hand up again, and finally a fucking cab stopped. He opened the door and pushed me inside, climbing in after me. I was grateful for that, at least.

We rode home in silence, and when the cab stopped in the driveway of the house, I offered my cash in payment. Edward didn't move to take it away, and I was grateful. _Grateful and broke._ I'd be glad to get back to work on Monday.

We walked inside to hear his mother laughing, which was actually calming. I was headed upstairs, but he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the living room where his parents were snuggled on the couch watching something on television.

"Boys? I thought you were going out?" Esme asked as she muted the television.

Edward sunk into a large chair and pulled me down with him. "It was a flipping disaster. Gia and Chelsea were hammered before we ever showed up. Greg tried to pressure me into that job, and I think Renata was trying to get Jasper to redecorate her house." He turned to look at me, and he gave me a sad smile before kissing my cheek.

"God, why do you hang out with them? Those people…Christ. They're awful. I know you and Gianna became friendly, but those girls are just dreadful, and Gregory and Renata? Drunk and whore. You decide who's who." I was stunned at Esme's synopsis, but in my opinion, she'd called it spot on. Carlisle's laugh only substantiated her claim.

"So, it's ten-thirty. Anyone up for a game of water volleyball?" he asked. I looked at him like he was crazy because it was pitch black outside.

Edward laughed. "Oh, you wanna take us on, old man? We're up for it. Come on, love. Dad, what's the bet?" he asked.

I saw Carlisle ponder it for a moment and smile. "You two win, I'll pay for Hawaii at Spring Break. You lose, you both come here and volunteer at the hospital. Deal?" he asked as he stood and offered his hand.

Edward looked at me and smiled. "You wanna learn to surf in Hawaii on Spring Break?"

I couldn't form a sentence. My spring break was likely going to be mowing my mother's grass and cleaning her gutters. Hawaii?

"I, uh, I don't…"

"Deal. He'll get into it later. We'll be back," Edward stated. He hauled me up from the chair and dragged me upstairs.

"Change, Jasper. This is more my life than that shit you saw earlier, and I should have known better than to take you into that. I'm really sorry, and I'll never do it again. I love you, and I should have thought it through. Now, wrap your head around volleyball because my dad plays dirty. If we win, we're going to Hawaii for Spring Break. I _really_ want to go to Hawaii," he told me as his lips met my neck.

I let go a sigh and went into my room, changing into my swim trunks and a t-shirt. I met him in the hallway and looked at him, seeing how happy he was. There wasn't the stress I'd seen earlier when we were out with his friends, and I had to believe _this_ was the real Edward, not the fake one I'd witnessed earlier. I didn't like that guy, and I hoped I never met him again.

"Look, Mom'll play close to the net, and Dad'll play the back. Don't underestimate her. She can spike that damn ball like a pro. She played volleyball in high school, and I'll tell you, when she gets in the pool, she takes off the gloves. Have you ever played volleyball?"

I laughed. "Babe, I went to Forks high. Coach Clapp? I have a wicked serve on land, so I can't imagine it won't translate to the water. I'll play it like I don't know what I'm doing. I'll set it and you spike it," I suggested.

"I knew I loved you for a reason," he laughed as he kissed me sweetly. We ran downstairs and both dove into the pool. His parents weren't there yet, so we swam a bit to warm up.

"We can set up the net," I offered.

He looked up at the windows and laughed. "I'd say we wait and see if they actually show. You want something to drink? I'm going to have a beer." I nodded and he climbed out of the pool, going to the refrigerator and grabbing two Bud Lights. He turned on music and then he turned to smile at me. Hell, it was incredible. He was my Edward again, not the suave California guy.

He opened them and walked back to the pool, slipping into it and handing me one. "Love, I'm sorry about how things went. I didn't think they'd…no, I didn't think. I like this a lot better anyway," he told me as he sidled up next to me and kissed me.

God, he kissed me. He told me he loved me, and he kissed me, just like any other boy would kiss any other boy. That made me very happy. In that perfect moment, I was just a boy in love with a boy. I wasn't a damaged person. I wasn't a freak. He didn't treat me that way, and I could almost believe it.

I took a step back and looked into his eyes. I needed to make something perfectly clear to him because I loved him. "Babe, if you have opportunities that come up regarding a job, you need to think about _you_. You need to decide what's best for _you_."

He took a swig of his beer and placed it on the pool deck. "You're very sexy when you're being self-sacrificing, but Jasper, my love, you need to understand something. I believe I've found the one I'm supposed to be with, so I won't be making any big decisions without consulting you. I don't give a flying fuck if you take ten years to get out of college. I'll work as a short order cook if I run out of job options and you're still in school. Hell, Seth can get me a job at _Roxy's_.

"You can worry and stew and freak out all you want, and that's fine, but I'm not going anywhere without you. You might as well get used to the idea," he told me, confidently.

I, however, was barely able to breath. I didn't expect it at all, and I needed to mull it through. Maybe talk to my shrink? Fuck, I couldn't do that. She was his _mother_. Yeah, I needed a new shrink.

##

"Send me three choices," Carlisle told Edward as we were on the porch to leave. We'd eaten breakfast and lazed around, and it was time for us to go to the airport. I was sad to leave.

"Hey, you let your libido get the better of you, old man," Edward teased.

"Trust me, it was worth it. I love you, son." He hugged Edward and whispered something to him which Edward nodded.

Carlisle turned to me and offered his hand, but I slapped it away. They'd been so fucking great to me, and a handshake wasn't enough. I hugged him and thanked him for everything. It wasn't lost on me that he'd kept his hands on my ribs, and I was grateful.

I pulled away, seeing Edward hugging his mother. I leaned into Carlisle. "I love your son, and I'm not going to let him go through with whatever crazy ass plan he has in his head. I promise you, I'll look out for him." I felt a little foolish making the statement, but I knew they were worried.

"Thank you, Jasper. Call us if he gets into any trouble, please." I nodded and moved over to hug Esme.

I was completely in love with his parents. They were so fucking great. "You know, Miss Esme, if I was straight, I'd try to steal you away," I teased.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "You are such a dashing young man. From what I remember, your father was a fantastic flirt though completely devoted to your mother, and apparently, you got that from him. Watch out for my son. Sometimes, he loses his head, and I'm depending on you to rein him in," she whispered.

I pulled away and smiled at her, kissing her cheek. "I'll do my best, ma'am." She returned my smile and we heard the honk at the front of the house. We said good-byes, and I could say it was the best holiday I'd ever had. I had been embraced by my boyfriend's family. It was a pretty great place to be.

\\\

_**Things are better. They're going back to school, and I'll give this away…they're figuring things out. They'll have some ups and downs, but they're figuring things out.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Thank you so much for your reviews. I love reading them! The boys are back from Cali. Let's see how things go at school…**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

25. Technology Made Me Its Bitch

##

"Seriously? You're going to come up?" I asked as we climbed out of the cab in front of Hansee. Our flight was delayed two hours, so we didn't get in to Seattle until after four. After we got luggage and waited in the fucking taxi queue, it was nearly six when we got back to campus. I needed to finish up a project, and I had to unpack. He also had his own shit to do so he needed to leave. Why he was insisting on walking me to my door wasn't lost on me. He was trying to make me feel safe since Eric wasn't home.

"Love, I'd stay if you'd allow it, but the least I can do, as a gentleman, is see that my boyfriend gets to his room safe and sound," he offered lamely.

I laughed. "You know Eric's taking the red-eye and he's not here. You just want to check my room."

"Okay, busted, but put yourself in my shoes. You refuse to come home with me, so I have to make sure you're safe before I go home alone and cry into my lonely pillow. You know I'll be worried about you, so just let me come up and satisfy my concern for your safety. You've got to leave me with some peace of mind," he bargained as he grabbed my duffel and took my hand, leading me up the stairs of the building.

I couldn't argue because, truth be told, I had an uneasy feeling about going to my room alone, even if it was only six in the evening. I couldn't wedge the chair under the door when I went to bed because I didn't know exactly when Eric was coming in from New York, so I had to rely on the lock. That didn't exactly give me a warm fuzzy.

"Fine. Come on," I caved. He followed me inside and up the stairs. When we got to my room, I opened it and let him go in first.

He dropped my bag on the bed and looked around, even checking the bathroom. I leaned against the door jamb, trying not to laugh. When he came out of the bathroom, he stopped in front of me. "Okay, okay. No ghosts. I still wish you'd come home with me."

I laughed. "I pay to live here. I work at that shitty job so I _can_ pay to live here. I'm going to take advantage of it. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I work from three till seven," I reminded.

"I'll pick you up after and we can get pizza. I love you, Jasper, and I know this seems over the top, but I won't sleep a wink if I don't know you're safe. It's the thing we do for people we love, sweetheart." He leaned forward and kissed me passionately. _Why am I letting him leave? I'm an idiot._

After swirling tongues with the sexiest guy on the planet, I pulled away. "I'll call you tomorrow after my first class. I love you, too."

After a few more kisses, he left, and I was left alone. I unpacked my stuff and tossed it into my hamper. I pulled out my laptop and finished a paper that was due on Monday morning. I turned on music because the quiet was driving me insane, and looking at Eric's bed where I'd been…well, I couldn't put it out of my head.

I plugged my laptop into the printer and sent the paper to print, only to see that I was out of ink. That pissed me off. I unplugged the cord and went to Eric's printer, but when it asked for a password, I was really pissed. Technology was making me its bitch. I was the unluckiest bastard on the planet.

I looked up the holiday hours for the IT department and the library, and not surprisingly, they were closed until Monday morning. I really wanted to cry because the only thing I could do was set my alarm for six in the morning and go to the computer resource lab to print it.

I lay on my bed and listened to the music for a little while, trying to doze, but it just wasn't happening. When my phone buzzed on the shitty table between my bed and Eric's, I grabbed it. I laughed when I saw it was Edward. I'd seen him just three hours earlier.

_I get that u need time alone to take care of things, but how about I make a booty call? I'm not 2 proud to beg. Condoms & lube, no waiting. xoxo_

I called him. "So?" he asked.

"You're too cute. Actually, I need to print a paper. I'm out of ink, and well, if you've got ink, maybe we can make a deal?"

He chuckled. "I'll pick you up, love. I've got all kinds of ink. You drive me fucking crazy, do you know that?"

"Because I'm so fucking inept?"

"God, no. For so many…pack your shit. You're sleeping over." The phone went dead, and I was fucking giddy. I was pretty fucking lucky, if I thought about it. Hot guy…eager to spend time with me…a printer with ink. _Okay ,I didn't really give a shit about the printer, but it was a plus._

I hurriedly grabbed clean clothes for the next day and a shirt for work. I scribbled a note for Eric telling him I was staying at Edward's that night, and I'd call him. I packed up my laptop and my books for the next day, and I hurried downstairs to wait for Edward out front. The night air was kind of chilly, and I was only wearing a hooded sweatshirt instead of a coat, so I pulled the hood up over my head to block the wind.

I was sitting there when two guys walked up. One I recognized from seeing him around my dorm. I thought his name was Brady, but I wasn't sure. The other guy I didn't know, but he looked oddly familiar in the faint light. I put my head down to try to give them some privacy, but they stopped at the front door right behind me, so I couldn't help but hear them.

"Brady, thanks for having dinner with me tonight. I had a great time. Can, uh, can I take you to lunch tomorrow? I get out of class at 12:30. It's in PACCAR Hall, which isn't too far, so we could meet at _Orin's_, unless your next class is closer to the HUB. I'd really like to see you again," the one dude said.

I smiled, knowing how tough that shit was in the beginning. I was glad Edward and I had worked through that part of it…the uncertainly and nerves. I wished them the best of luck.

Brady responded. "Actually, Riley, the HUB works better. I have a two o'clock in Meany, so it would be close by. Is that too far for you, Mr. Biers?" He had a coy tone to his voice, but what really got me was the name. I stood up from my seat and slowly turned to see them off to the side, out from under the porch lights. It was dark, but I could make out the lanky frame and sandy blonde hair. The voice took a second to register, but when it did, my stomach dropped.

It was the fucker who'd outed me back in high school. I had no idea what happened to him after he graduated high school, but I shouldn't have been surprised he was attending UDub. It was a good school, and the campus was fucking massive. It was also only a few hours from home.

I didn't want him to see me, so I kept the hood low on my face, but I made sure I watched to see if he kissed the guy. When he did, I knew I was going to confront him, just not right here, right now. I needed to think about when, where, and what I was going to say, but I was getting some revenge on the asshole.

After a chaste make-out session, Riley hopped down the stairs, not looking my direction. I grabbed my shit and followed Brady inside. I hated what I was about to do, but I was definitely going to put a wrench in Riley Biers' plans for the next day. "Hey, uh, Brady?" I called as he was about to get on the elevator.

He stuck his head out and looked at me expectantly. I hurried over and climbed on with him, lowering my hood. "You're Jasper, right? You share with Eric?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm not trying to cock block you or anything, but how well do you know that guy you were just with?" He had a strange look on his face, but he didn't look pissed I was getting in his business.

"I got his number off the rideshare board. I live in PA, and he was going that way so I got a ride with him for the break. Why?" _Oh, this was perfect._

I took a deep breath and silenced that voice in my head telling me not to be a prick. I owed Riley Biers and I was going to pay that mother fucker back in spades. "He went to my high school. I happen to know he has a steady boyfriend who he lives with over in Blakely Village. The guy, Zach, is from Michigan and he went home for the break. I don't know how you feel about cheating boyfriends, but I just thought I should warn you," I lied. For a moment, I contemplated that I was a horrible person for lying, but I justified it that I was saving him from heartbreak.

The look on his face was one of instant anger. "That fucker. I asked him three times if he was seeing anyone, and he told me his last boyfriend graduated last year and moved to New York. I should have known better. _God,_ I'm a fucking moron. I even had him come in to meet my parents when he picked me up. Come to think of it, he was a little shifty when they asked him where he lived. Was he out in high school?" Brady asked.

I was truly going to hell. "No. He was on the DL with a guy in my class, and one day out of the blue, he outed the guy to the whole fucking school. Poor kid was a pariah after that shit. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to get hung up on someone, only to find out what a real douche they are later.

"I'm sorry for butting in, but a lot of these guys are out for virgin ass, and they don't care what they have to do to get it. I'd hate for you to get fucked over by him." Oh, I was the selfless one, all right. I wouldn't even own up that it was me Riley had outed. I needed my fucking head examined. I wasn't looking forward to confessing this behavior to Dr. Platte.

"No, man, I appreciate the head's up. How do you know he lives with someone?"

"He, uh, he lives in the same complex as my boyfriend. Just down the hall as a matter of fact. Look, I need to go, but maybe you, me and Eric can get together and hang out after things calm down. You seem like a nice guy, and I think we can always use more friends, don't you?" _Oh, yeah, being friends with your lying ass is definitely a big privilege for him. You're really a dick._

"Yeah, sure. Thanks again, Jasper. I'll see ya around." We bumped fists and he took off towards his room. I hurried to the stairwell and ran back down, happy to see Edward sitting on the hood of his car waiting for me.

"What took so long?" he asked as he grabbed my laptop bag and put it in the backseat.

I tossed my backpack in the backseat along with my overnight bag. I hopped in the car, not sure I should tell him what I did. I decided not to go into too much detail. "I was talking to one of Eric's friends, Brady. I'm trying to make more friends on my floor, you know, in case I get locked out or something and my knight in shining armor isn't around," I teased, glancing in his direction.

He looked at me before he pulled away. "Is…should I be worried? I mean, are you trading me in for another model since you met my crazy parents?"

I laughed and touched his hand to reassure him. "Babe, you're all the man I can handle. I'm not looking for anyone else. Now, let's get to your place. After I print my paper, I think I need to remind you how much I love you," I teased, reaching down into his lap to feel his cock getting hard.

"Fuck, yes. Fasten that seatbelt. We're going to see if I can beat my best time getting back to the apartment." I laughed…well, for a minute until he shot out of the fucking fire lane like it was the Indy 500. I white knuckled it all the way to his place, and the invisible brakes on my side of the car didn't help me at all.

##

"Hey, look who it is. How was the OC?" Emmett teased as we walked into the apartment. Jake was sitting at one end of the couch and Emmett was sprawled out on the couch with his head in Jake's lap. It appeared the two of them were back together, and I wondered what had been sorted out regarding the future. They'd gone to North Carolina together, and they both seemed to be happy. I was glad to see it.

"We had a great time. When did you guys get back? How was North Carolina?" I asked. Edward carried my shit back to his bedroom without stopping, and I couldn't tell if he was either hornier than me, which I doubted because my cock had been hard since the night before when we just kissed good-night outside the spare room door, or if he was pissed about something. Either way, my conversation with Jake and Em was going to be short.

"It was good. My ma likes my boyfriend better than me because he's a fucking suck-up," Emmett complained.

Jake laughed. "Baby, you love it when I suck."

"Okay, I'm out. Night, guys." I turned and walked down the hallway as the two of them continued to bicker.

I went into Edward's room and closed the door, seeing he'd moved his laptop and placed mine in its spot. It was hooked up to his printer, and he was sitting on the bed, patiently waiting, I guess.

"When did they get back?" I asked as I sat down in the desk chair, turning to my laptop and selecting his printer so I could be done with what I needed to do in order for us to move on to more pleasant things.

"Just before I sent you that text. Those fucks are loud. I think when Heidi was here they held down the noise level because she'd bitch up a storm, but now that she's gone, they've decided there's no need to have any fucking decorum at all. Well, it's on, now. You want anything to drink?" he asked.

I quickly spell checked my paper again, and when I was satisfied, I sent it to the printer. I turned in my chair and took in his appearance. He was flipping through a textbook, not reading it at all, and a question popped into my head.

"Do you have any classes in PACCAR Hall?" There was the off-chance Edward might have classes with Riley, and I didn't think it was a good idea to take on Riley if he was around. I didn't know his schedule very well, and I really wanted to remedy the situation.

"Yeah. That's where Foster School of Business is located. Most of my classes are there or Dempsey Hall, why?" _That was interesting._

"Because it's not that far from Hansee, and I never see you on campus," I reasoned.

He chuckled as he closed the book and tossed it on the floor. "Maybe I should become a spy? Apparently, I'm good at covert surveillance. I follow you around campus all the time. How do you think we run into each other in the strangest places? I don't have a need to go to Odegaard, but I've run into you there several times, haven't I?"

_Well, that was very interesting._ "I guess I never put it together. I go there for research help. I guess I thought maybe you were tutoring there or something. So, you follow me around? Why don't you make yourself known?" I was looking through my paper to make sure it wasn't fucked up. I went to my backpack and looked for a report cover, finding nothing.

He walked over to his desk and pulled open a drawer, pulling out a report cover as he pecked me on the lips. "I've got all kinds of surprises in there, so if you need something, just help yourself. Anyway, if you recall before we went to Cali for the weekend, we were stuck as _friends_. It would have been awfully fucking creepy for me to show up where you are all the time as just your _friend_. You're a smart guy. You'd have figured out I was obsessing over you, and you'd have filed a restraining order. I couldn't chance it."

I laughed as I slipped my paper into the cover and slid the binder down to secure it. I put it into my backpack and powered down my computer. I was about to disconnect it from the printer when he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him onto the bed. "You're stalling on purpose, aren't you?"

Apparently, I was a little too chatty, and my boyfriend was a _lot_ horny. "What's the problem, Cullen?" I asked as I draped my body over his and pushed my erection into his without a moment's hesitation.

"God, yes, but with less clothes, please," he whispered. I saw the hickey on his neck was a little faded, and I couldn't have that, so I attached my lips to it to make sure that fucker was a nice, dark purple. I was surprised his stupid friends hadn't mentioned his fading black eyes from the shit that happened in Cali, but those bitches were so fucking self-centered, it really wasn't surprising at all.

"Babe, please. I really want to feel you inside me," he begged as I continued rutting against him.

I rolled off and stood by the side of the bed. "Get up, get naked, and get ready to ride," I stated.

He looked at me with confusion, and I laughed as I pulled down the blankets on the bed. I started undressing as he stared at me. "Edward, in order for you to ride my aching cock, you need to take off your pants," I instructed as I dropped mine and stepped out of them having toed off my shoes earlier. I pulled down my boxers and climbed into the bed, aching cock fully on display. The things the man did to me…yeah.

He quickly disrobed and crawled in next to me after he grabbed the lube and a condom from the bedside table, tossing them on his pillow next to where I was laying. He straddled my body, leaning forward as if he was doing a push up and traced his tongue over my lips, causing me to shiver in anticipation. I'd only had sex with him once, and I was _so_ looking forward to my second time.

"Move up here and hold onto the headboard," I told him before I sucked his tongue into my mouth as I planned to do to his cock when I got him where I wanted him.

"You sure, Jasper?" He'd pulled away and was looking at me with concern. I knew what had him worried. If he was over me like I wanted, he'd effectively be pinning me down, but I was planning to at least give it a try.

"Very." I reached over and grabbed the lube as he began moving up the bed. I squeezed some on my fingers and moved my left hand between his legs as he settled over my head, his cock bobbing in need right in front of me.

I saw there was a bead of pre-cum that was about to drip on me, so I slipped my tongue out and caught it, moaning at his taste. He groaned and I smiled.

I moved my hand to his cheeks and slid a slick finger down his crack until I stopped at his tight hole. I circled my finger there for a second before slipping in the tip. I reached up with my right hand up and brought his cock down to my mouth, eagerly sucking it inside. "_Fuck_," he hissed. _Oh, we would._

I continued sucking him as I got him ready, and when he pulled back, I saw he'd opened his eyes and was breaking out in a sweat. "I'm ready, baby. I don't want to come like this…well, not this time."

I kissed the head again and placed my hand on his chest, motioning for him to slip down my body. I grabbed the condom and quickly whisked it on. He moved down until he was hovering over it, and then he leaned down and kissed me again. "Can you take off your shirt? I love feeling your skin under my hands." I sat up enough to comply with his request, and when I lie back, he positioned my cock at his entrance and slowing worked me until his ass was resting on my hips and I was buried in heaven.

He leaned forward and kissed me again, swirling our tongues together as I pinched his nipples, feeling them already hard. "God, Jasper, that feels so fucking good."

"Damn, you should feel it from my side," I teased.

He slowly began to move on me, driving me insane. I continued to tease his nipples as I kissed over his collarbone. He wasn't quiet at all, which surprised me. I was so fucking close, I thought about anything I could to try to keep from cutting it short. I hadn't developed his stamina yet because it was all new to me, but I was looking forward to practicing a lot more.

"Edward, God, I'm trying to hold off. I'm so close," I confessed.

He stopped completely, and I looked up at him, realizing I'd been staring at his twitching cock as it scraped over my abs in the pursuit of friction. "I'm going to lean back so your cock hits my prostate, okay? I just didn't want to do it without telling you. I'm putting my hands on your thighs, but I'm not pinning you down, okay?" he asked nervously.

That pulled me back from the edge. The fact he wasn't free to pursue his release without a fucking tutorial drove me crazy. I didn't want it to be that way. God knew I wanted to be normal.

"Babe, you do what you have to do. I'm fine. I love seeing you riding my cock, and if you change the angle, I'll just get a better view," I told him as I placed one hand on his thigh and wrapped my fingers around his weeping dick.

I needed moisture, so I licked my hand and wrapped it around him again. He began moving as he leaned back, and he was bouncing on my cock in the most gorgeous way which planted a seed in my mind I planned to broach with him at another time.

"Oh, fuck yeah," I groaned loudly as I continued to stroke him in time with what he was doing to me.

"I'm…God, almost. Fuck, Jasper, I didn't…"

I felt the fire shoot through my body as I climaxed, and he yelled my name as he shot off on my chest in long ropes of white, marking me. He slowed down a bit, and then leaned forward and collapsed on my chest. "I'm…fuck, am I too heavy?" he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his back, ignoring the cum on my hand. At that point, we were going to have to shower anyway, so fuck it. "No, babe, you feel good on me. I love you, Edward."

He looked up and smiled blissfully. "I love…" then he began laughing hysterically, causing me to reach down and grab the condom as I slipped from him.

I wasn't sure what was so fucking funny, but it wasn't the reaction I expected at all. "What the fuck, Edward?" I asked, feeling a little pissed.

"Oh, love, it's not you. It's an unfortunate uh…" He reached up and moved his hand through my hair, bringing it back and showing me he'd not only painted my chest, he'd apparently got my hair.

I started laughing with him. He climbed off and grabbed the t-shirt he'd been wearing, brushing it through my hair and then down my chest. I took off the condom and tied it, dumping it into a tissue and placing it on the side table as I sat up. "It's supposed to be good hair product, isn't it?" I teased, giving him a _'Something About Mary' _reference_. _

That brought more laughter from both of us. He wiped his chest and started to lie down on the bed before I stopped him, grabbing another tissue and wiping his back. "Jesus, how'd it end up on my back?"

I was still laughing. "I had some on my hand. We need to shower anyway," I replied.

He pulled me up and grabbed the trash from the side table as we opened the door and went to the bathroom. Before he closed the door, we both heard, "Thank fuck," yelled from the living room. It was Emmett, and it brought another round of laughs from us. It was good to be able to laugh again. It was something I'd have to put on the list for _Future Jasper._ I wanted him to be the guy who could laugh at damn near everything.

\\\

_**A little fluff, but I think we could use it. So…Riley?**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Thank you for your reviews. I appreciate them very much. Let's see how our Jasper handles the sitch with Riley.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

26. Retribution

##

_I was standing in the cafeteria at Forks High. There was a circle of students around me, pointing and laughing. I looked down my body and saw I was naked, and they were chanting, "Fag. Fag. Fag."_

_I looked around and saw Riley Biers, Jimmy Turner, Dreads, along with Bella, Angela, Eric and Emmett. They were all chanting it, and I was looking around for Edward to make them stop or bring me something to cover myself. I moved my hands to hide my dick, but they were tied behind my back._

"_Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed, but they didn't. They continued to yell, and I started to cry. "Please, Edward, please, make them stop."_

_I looked around again and saw him standing with his friends, Gia and Chelsea, and he was laughing at me. I had no one. There was no one who was willing to make them stop. "Fucking stop it right now," I yelled again, bringing a slap to my face. I didn't see where it came from, so I yelled again, feeling myself being shaken hard._

My eyes shot open and I saw Edward looking down at me, tears on his cheeks. "Get the fuck away from me," I yelled as I shot off the bed and moved over to the other side of the room.

"Jasper, love, it was a bad dream. You're okay," he whispered. Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open, and Jake and Emmett were standing there, both looking as though they were going to tear the room apart. Thank God I'd put on boxers after we'd showered.

Emmett stalked over to the bed and got in Edward's face. "What the fuck did you do?" He was yelling, and it only made Edward cry harder.

"Emmett, stop. He didn't do anything. I had a nightmare," I hollered as I hurried over to the bed to get in between the two of them. Jake grabbed Emmett around the chest, caging his arms at his sides.

I kneeled onto the mattress and took Edward's gorgeous face in my hands, checking carefully to be sure I hadn't hit him. "Shh. I'm sorry. It was a bad dream. You didn't do anything," I apologized.

"I couldn't wake you. I'm sorry I slapped you, but you were hysterical," he whispered as he brushed his fingers over my cheek where it stung a bit. _Fuck, we've got to quit hitting each other._

"What the hell is going on? What happened to your back, Jasper?" Jake asked. It was then I remembered I wasn't wearing a shirt, and I wanted to fucking die.

"Let me go," Emmett demanded, seeming to be more in control. Jake did and Em went to the dresser and pulled open a drawer, grabbing one of Edward's t-shirts and tossing it to me. I pulled it on and turned to them. "Can one of you take me back to Hansee?" I asked.

"Jasper, please don't go," Edward whispered behind me. _Fuck, I needed to get away from him. He needed to get away from _me. _I was no good for him. He had to fucking see it, right?_

I turned to him and tried to smile. "Babe, I need to go. Eric will be back by now," I glanced at the clock, "because it's two o'clock in the morning. I love you, but I can't hurt you anymore."

"What the hell is going on?" Jake asked again, clearly confused by the situation.

"Get out, please," Edward ordered them. Em took Jake's hand and led him out, closing the door behind them.

Edward slowly approached me, holding up his hands. I took them and placed them on my chest, knowing he'd feel the pounding of my heart. "I need you, Jasper. I need you to stay. I'll sleep on the floor. I blame myself because I was spooning you, happy to have you next to me. I won't do it again."

I placed my hand on his gorgeous face. "Edward, I love you, but I'm so fucked up. You shouldn't have to worry about spooning with your boyfriend."

"I'm going to fucking kill them. I won't let them ruin us. We'll work to get through this. I…you can't walk away from me, Jasper. I won't let you," he begged as he stroked my cheek.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm myself. I knew what had brought on the dream. Riley Fucking Biers. My wavering over confronting him was gone. I had demons, and I had to take them on. I needed to learn some fucking self-control, and I knew how to get it.

"Fine, I'll stay, but I'll take the floor. You keep the bed. I insist," I stated firmly. I grabbed the comforter and my pillow, sinking to the floor and settling in.

Edward moved over to the edge of the bed and extended his arm. "I sound like a pussy, but can you hold my hand?"

I smiled as I took it and kissed it. "You're no more of a pussy than me. I love you, babe."

"I love you, too, Jasper. I'm sorry I slapped you."

I chuckled. "You're entitled to a few. Night, sugar." I held his hand and listened until his breaths evened out. I held his hand until he rolled over, and I gently let it go. _You fucking psycho, you should let him go as well before you really hurt him._

Yeah, if it was only that easy.

##

I was pacing outside of PACCAR Hall. I was definitely ready to confront one of my demons, and I was determined I wasn't going to feel guilty about it. The fucker had it coming.

When he jogged down the stairs without a fucking care in the world, I planted my feet firmly in front of him and remembered the mantra I'd had in my head since Edward and I had swam laps that morning. _He's a fucking homophobic hypocrite, and you're here to point it out in front of anyone within earshot._

He tried to sidestep me as he fucked with his phone, but I wasn't having it. I was a few inches taller than the last time he'd seen me, and I was considerably bulkier. He looked up with confusion, and I smiled widely. "Hello, Riley," I purred.

"Jasper? Jasper Whitlock?" He was blinking furiously, and I was so fucking happy with the surprise attack. I was trying not to be smug, but it was definitely tough.

"Oh, so you remember me? I'm surprised. Oh, but wait, how could you ever forget outing the sophomore who you'd been creeping with for months? I'd guess that was something that would stick with a guy."

The cocky prick smirked. "Whitlock, you're gay. I did you a favor by letting everyone know it. Saved you the trouble."

I felt my blood boiling. I took a deep breath and tried to regain some of my quickly retreating control. "Yes, Riley, I am, but so are you."

He scoffed. "Not likely, though you almost made me believe it back in high school. Anyway, as much as I'd like to continue this reunion, I've got somewhere to be. You take it up the ass yet?"

My fists were clenching, but the fact he thought he still had the upper hand made me laugh. "Oh, Riley, you should have majored in drama instead of business. I hate to be the one to tell you, but Brady's not gonna show. It seemed he didn't like the idea one fag would out another in such a public manner. He was shocked that the _nice_ guy he got a ride from was capable of something so horrible." I stood there waiting for his reaction, and the surprise on his face was quite satisfying.

"Oh, hey Riley. Love, what brings you by?" I heard behind me. The look of confusion on Riley's face made me gleeful. _Yeah, I'm not a girl…much._

I turned to see Edward standing there with a bright smile. I leaned forward and kissed him, grateful for his timing. I was also happy he knew Riley, and I had the pin to burst the bubble ready and aimed.

"Babe, you remember me telling you about the guy who completely humiliated me in high school by outing me and making the rest of my years at Forks High miserable?"

He nodded. "Well, meet Riley Biers. Riley, you fucking prick, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Oh, wait; it seems you two know each other."

I saw both of them looking at me, and for a fleeting second, I worried if they were good friends or maybe fuck buddies in the past, but if they were then Edward wasn't the guy I thought him to be. When his messenger bag slipped from his shoulder, he got a dangerous smile on his face.

He looked at me and laughed. "This is the fucker who did that to you? He's been chasing my dick for two years. Huh! This is definitely an interesting development. Is this what was bothering you before you fucked me last night?" Edward asked with a smile.

"Yep. See, when I was waiting for you to pick me up, I saw him with Brady. I heard him asking the guy for a lunch date today, and after he left, I tracked Brady down and told him all about Riley." I turned to Riley. "By the way, he wants nothing to do with you."

I turned back to Edward. "So, you have time to get lunch?" I asked.

Suddenly, I felt arms around my chest, and I threw back my head, hearing the satisfying crack of Riley's nose. I broke his grasp on me and spun around, taking him down by sweeping his legs out from under him and holding him around the throat. "I'll let you up if you wanna go again." My voice sounded dark, and it wasn't anything I'd ever heard come out of me before, but if it was the voice of the demon I was confronting, then so be it.

I felt a soft hand on my face. "Love, let him up. He's not going anywhere. About a hundred people saw him attack you. You're fine. I'm here," Edward whispered in my ear, calming me.

I pulled my hand away and looked at the asshole on the ground. There was quite a crowd, which reminded me of that fucking nightmare, but the outcome was extremely different. I wasn't naked. Edward wasn't standing to the side laughing at me, and no one was taunting me. I suddenly felt a sense of peace overtake my body, and I knew exactly what I had to do regarding the other demon in my body.

I got up from the ground and looked down at the asshole holding his nose. "We're going to Forks this weekend. Your mom still works at the Thriftway, right? Anything you want me to tell her?" I taunted. Before he could answer, campus police showed up.

I didn't make it to my afternoon class because I had to give my statement, along with a lot of other people. Edward stayed with me, skipping class as well, and I appreciated his support. I declined pressing charges, even though the lady cop encouraged me to do so. I had bigger mountains to climb.

##

I was leaning back on my elbows on Edward's bed. He was trying to pack, and he was being a big old girl about it. It was Friday, and it had been quite a week. We were going to Forks for Edward to meet my mom, and I was excited. "It's fucking Forks. You lived there, for Christ's sake," I told him as he brought out clothes, only to return them to the closet.

"I'm meeting my first boyfriend's mother, officially. I remember you being a little concerned when we were going to LA," he called from inside the closet.

"Hey, we weren't boyfriends when I went to meet your parents. You sprung your diabolical plan on me after we were already there. It wasn't like I had any warning at all. At least you had a week," I teased, loving the look of panic on his face.

The week had actually been great. I hadn't spent the night at Edward's apartment again, but I'd spent time there. We'd gone out for dinner Wednesday night with Brady, Eric, Angela, and Bella. I'd had a session with Esme that afternoon, and we'd covered some ground. I'd confessed to her about Riley, and when she asked me how it felt to confront him, I couldn't keep the relief from my voice.

"_I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I know it probably wasn't the right way to do it, but when he bullied me again, and then approached me from behind, I just couldn't take it," I confessed._

"_So, it felt good to stick up for yourself?"_

"_It did, but I wish it hadn't ended with him grabbing me. I was prepared to walk away, Doc. I didn't have intentions of hurting him physically, but he still thought I was that weak guy he knew back in high school."_

"_Jasper, that's progress. You don't want to lash out, but there are times when you must defend yourself. I'm proud of you that you didn't consider violence as a first option. That's growth."_

_I had to take it as a positive. It pushed the "list" discussion to the background for Saturday because of the latest development, but I e-mailed it to her anyway._

"I've only met your mother at your swim meets back in school. She was always very nice, but I don't know how she's going to feel about you bringing me home as a boyfriend," he lamented.

"Edward, she knows you're my boyfriend. That's _why_ she wants to meet you. She's going to love you as much as me, okay? Hurry up. We're picking up Bella and Angela in half an hour," I reminded.

He'd offered them the ride, and when I'd mentioned it to Brady about us going to Forks, he asked if he could get a ride to Port Angeles. Everyone offered to pay for gas, so I accepted on Edward's behalf.

"Hey, they're all pitching in. I can pitch in as well, but I need to wait until my paycheck gets deposited on Monday."

He laughed. "Yeah, we'll work it out. Now, this shirt or this one?" He was holding up a light blue button-down and a mint green one.

I smiled at his worry. "Green. It brings out your eyes." He pulled it off the hanger and folded it, adding it to the suitcase.

"Hey, is Seth seeing anyone?" I asked. It occurred to me that maybe Seth and Brady could be compatible. We'd met Seth for lunch earlier in the week, and he seemed like the type of guy Brady could go for. It was worth a shot. I wanted everyone to be as happy as me, apparently.

Edward stepped out of the closet with another pair of jeans, and I had to stop him. "We're going to be there for two nights and three days. You have five pair of jeans in that suitcase. What do you think we're going to do?" I asked with a laugh.

He huffed, and I continued to laugh. "Laugh it up. Okay, you pack for me then."

I rose from the bed to root through the mountain of clothes and took half of it back to his closet. I left him with two pair of jeans, a pair of dress slacks for church on Sunday, and a few t-shirts. I added a dress shirt for church, and a sweatshirt. After I added boxers, pajama pants, and his toiletry kit, I zipped it closed.

"That's more than enough. Bring a coat because we're gonna put up Christmas lights. Other than that, it's just us hanging out at my house," I reminded.

There was a knock on Edward's door before it burst open. Emmett was standing there with a grin a mile wide. "Holyfield. Cullen. Are we ready to get this caravan on the road? We'll pick up Bella and Angela, and you guys get Brady. Jake said Seth and Leah are driving out as well, and they want to have a party at the reservation on Saturday night if it doesn't rain. I've never been. You two game?"

I suddenly had another brilliant idea. I looked at the clock on Edward's nightstand, seeing it was just after two in the afternoon. "Hey, can I bring Eric? He can stay in my sister's room."

Edward turned to look at me. "Where, uh, where will I sleep?"

_God, I loved him. _"In your car."

His eyes grew narrow, and I laughed. "Babe, my bedroom is still like it was when I was a kid, and unfortunately, I have bunk beds. Momma never took them apart, but we can while you're there, and we can make them two twins. That way, we can be together, but you don't have to worry about me choking you in your sleep," I responded honestly.

"And your mom will be okay with that?" He looked amused, and it was probably an amusing situation, when I looked at it from his perspective. He had a boyfriend who was fucking him on a regular basis, but he was going to be sleeping in a twin bed like a sixties' sitcom couple. I never understood how the couple on the "Dick Van Dyke Show" ended up having a baby. They slept in twin beds, for hell's sake.

"She'll be fine. I'd venture a guess Lillian Whitlock has never considered two bodies can be quite comfortable in a twin bed when they're stacked," I teased.

Emmett cracked up first, and Edward followed, which made me laugh as well. It was actually humorous when I let the visual set in. Oh, but I was planning for us to stack on each other in my twin bed. Just because we were in Forks didn't mean we weren't going to…fork. The Colonel was long gone, and so were his rules.

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_**Well? How do we feel? Jasper exacted his revenge, and at the end of the day, was it justified?**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Thank you for your reviews. Some of them perplex me, but I'm appreciative, just the same. So, the boys made it back from LA. Now they're headed to Forks. Let's see what happens…**_

_**SMeyer owns…I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

27. Meet My Momma

##

"What kind of cake is that?" Eric asked from the back seat. We'd just left Brady's house in PA, and his mother insisted on giving us a cake to take home. It didn't look like anything my mother ever made, but I couldn't be ungracious. She was being kind. I was very nice of her to send it, so I could add that to the list of what I wanted _Future Jasper_ to be…gracious.

"I think she said it was prune and caramel. That doesn't sound like anything I'd ever eat," Edward complained, scrunching up his nose adorably. _You better check to see if your cock and balls have been replaced with a vagina, jackass. Adorably?_

I laughed at my internal musings. "We'll each take a bite before I toss it in the trash so if she asks on Sunday, we can have a clear conscience that we tried it. Momma's been baking all week, so we won't be relying on this for dessert," I assured.

Oh, Lillian Whitlock had the weekend planned. She'd been scouting recipes and bouncing ideas off me all week via text, and I laughed every time I got one. She was inviting a bunch of people, and she was making a pork roast. She was as excited as anyone I'd ever seen.

I directed Edward to the Whitlock abode, and when we pulled up in front of the little three bedroom, two bathroom, two-story house in which I'd grown up, my mother was sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch in her thick wool sweater. I saw how happy she was, and hell, it made me happy as well.

We piled out of the car and grabbed our shit, walked up the front walk to the porch. "Momma, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen, and this is my roommate, Eric Yorkie. Boys, this is Lillian Whitlock, my momma," I introduced proudly.

Edward stepped forward and took her hand, pulling her from the chair and hugging her, which shocked the shit out of her. "Mrs. Whitlock, it's truly a pleasure to see you again. You have no idea how happy I am to be invited to spend the weekend." He was a smooth bastard; I had to give him that.

When he stepped back, Momma had a glowing smile on her face. "It's so good to see you, Edward. Call me Lilly. Mrs. Whitlock is Joe's mom, and well, I don't get along with her much." I laughed. My mom and grandma, Maria, didn't like each other, and only spoke on holidays when I was around. Hell, I didn't like the woman much either.

Momma turned to Eric and smiled. "So, you're the Yankee?"

Edward and I both laughed, and Eric joined us as she hugged him. She pulled away and smiled. "You are all quite handsome young men. So, Eric, who's your fella?" she asked as she led him into the house with her arm around his shoulders. They were the same height, after all.

"I think Eric just fell in love with his first girl," Edward teased as he grabbed the bags and kissed me quickly.

"Hell, if he was straight, I wouldn't even bitch about the age difference. She's only forty-two. Daddy was five year's older than her, and she's too young to be alone," I confided.

"She's a very beautiful woman, Jasper." It wasn't anything I didn't know. Rose was gorgeous, and apparently, from what my boyfriend told me on a regular basis, I was pretty easy on the eyes. Rose and I got our hair and eyes from Momma because she was our shared gene pool. My daddy was a handsome man and I got some of my looks from him, but I looked more like Momma and Rose than him.

"I know it, but you mention her dating, and she becomes a wildcat. She found her _one_, and she's done," I whispered.

We unloaded the car and settled the luggage into the rooms. Eric was actually giddy to be in Rosalie's old room, asking me if he could snoop. I gave him the green light. I didn't give a shit.

Edward looked at the bunk beds and laughed. "They separate, right? I'm not climbing up there."

"We can fix it later. They come apart, and we can move the dresser. Momma won't care. Dinner should be ready," I told him. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled.

I took his hand and led him downstairs to find Eric already in the kitchen setting the table. "I bought beer for you boys. Help yourselves." It wasn't like my mother to provide liquor for a party, so I laughed.

"Momma, you're aiding to the delinquency of minors. Now, what would Chief Swan say about that?" I teased.

She set a steaming pile of fried chicken on the table and turned to the stove, grabbing the mashed potatoes and gravy. I helped her by putting the green beans in a bowl, and we all sat down at the table. "Grace, Jasper," she reminded as I reached for a leg.

I pulled my hand back as if she'd slapped me, and I heard chuckling next to me…on both sides. I'd deal with them later.

"Dear heavenly Father, thank you for bringing these boys home safe and sound. Thank you for the food on the table, and thank you for the good company. In your name, Amen." I heard mumbled amen's next to me, and I smiled.

"Oh, hell!" Momma exclaimed, hopping up and grabbing an oven mitt. She opened the door and pulled out a baking sheet and I sighed. Her biscuits. Oh, it was a good day.

She quickly put them into a basket and placed them on the table. "Boys, dig in."

Oh, and dig in we did. It was incredible. Momma caught Edward up on the gossip around town, asking him if he remembered this one and that one, and the way his eyes lit up when he spoke with her, it was magic.

We finished off everything, with little Eric killing the mashed potatoes and gravy. I didn't know where he put it all, but he shoveled it down. When his plate was clean, he looked at my mother and smiled. "Miss Lilly, my boyfriend's mother is a southern cook, and you just made me miss her. I don't suppose you can make collards?"

"Sugar, I would but I can't find 'em here. If I was back home, I'd have 'em handy, but I can make some wilted spinach with hot bacon dressing," she offered.

Eric's eyes lit up. "Second best, Miss Lilly. Now, we'll clear this," he offered as he began taking up the dishes.

"What's your background, Eric?" Momma asked as only she could get away with.

He laughed. "My mother's Korean and my dad's Irish. We have some interesting customs. One year when I was in high school, Dad took us to Ireland to meet his extended family. Oh, we were a big surprise," Eric began.

Eric regaled us with stories of his childhood, growing up in such a diverse background, and we all had a great evening. Momma even tried the prune cake, as did we all, and we agreed it had to go. Momma decided to make her Texas cake to send back in thanks, and I laughed. Brady's parents wouldn't know what hit 'em.

After dishes were done, she went to the cabinet and pulled down a container of toothpicks and the bottle of Jim Beam, my dad's favorite. I went to the china cabinet in the dining room and grabbed four shot glasses, and walked back into the kitchen, lining them up for her.

She poured four shots and placed the bottle on the counter and she returned to the table with a deck of cards. I wanted to laugh, but I wouldn't give her away. "Any of you boys know how to play blackjack?"

Edward looked at me sideways, and I smiled. He started laughing, and when I looked at Eric, I saw a bewildered look on his face. "It's twenty-one, right?"

Momma put her hand over his. "Oh, sweetie, we'll teach you." She looked at me and winked. She placed the toothpick container in the middle of the table as she shuffled the cards.

"Miss Lilly, I guess we're going a nickel a pick?" I asked. She nodded.

"Boys, how much you want?" I asked.

"I'll take a buck's worth," Edward responded, pulling out his wallet and handing over a dollar. Eric did the same, so I counted out twenty for each of them.

"Momma?" She nodded so I counted out twenty for her, taking the cards.

"I'm broke, so I'll deal," I offered.

She took my hand and looked at me. "JJ how broke is _broke?_"

I was immediately embarrassed because I didn't have a dollar in my pocket. I'd gotten by all week on a shoestring. My laundry was in the bag in my bedroom because I didn't have quarters at school, but I couldn't admit it in front of Edward.

"I get paid on Monday, Momma. Don't worry about it," I blew off.

Edward, however, didn't let it go. "Jasper, how broke is _broke_?"

"Jeez, you guys, I'm fine. Now, let's get started." I dealt out the first card, and waited. They placed their bets, and I dealt the rest of the hand. Eric won the first hand, and he squealed like a girl.

As I dealt the second hand, the little shit turned to Edward and volunteered, "When he's not at your place, he's eating Ramen. He has a case of that shit under his bed." I could have killed him right there.

"I'm watching my weight. Edward's a good cook and Emmett's a bad influence," I snapped in response.

We played until they ran out of money. Just like always, Momma walked away two-dollars richer. I congratulated her good fortune. We cleaned up the mess and went to bed, her promising breakfast at ten. Considering it was nearly one o'clock in the morning when we went to bed, I was grateful for the late breakfast time.

We hugged her good-night, and she and Eric went to their rooms. I wasn't looking forward to going to my room with Edward because he wasn't happy at all.

"So, how do we separate these beds?"

"All we do is lift, but we have to move the dresser first," I responded.

We picked it up and placed it front of the door until we separated the beds. After they were resituated and we argued over placement, we moved the dresser back to the far wall by the closet. I was happy to not have to deal with bunk beds any longer, but I could tell he wasn't happy about anything.

He flopped onto the twin he'd claimed and looked at me. "So, Jasper, how long have you been out of money?"

I laughed, trying to chuck it off. "I'm not out of money, Edward. It's just that funds are a bit tight right now because I had to pay my share of the car insurance, my credit card, and buy a new printer. I only used the credit card for books at the beginning of the year because it's Momma's and I won't let her pay it. I get paid on Mondays, and after they take out my rent for December, I'm fine."

After I went to the expense of buying a new ink cartridge, the damn power in the dorm room surged one night during a storm and blew up my printer, which was stupidly not plugged into a surge protector. It was another expense I didn't anticipate, but hell, shit happened and I made sure I bought a top of the line surge protector when I bought my new printer. I was fucking grateful I didn't have my laptop plugged in at the time.

"How long have funds been tight," he asked.

I rolled my eyes because I didn't want him to make a big deal of it. "Look, I drew out my savings to go to California. It was rainy day money, and when I went home with you, well, I couldn't think of a better reason to draw it out. Unfortunately, I didn't anticipate my printer would blow up. Stop making me feel like the poor country cousin, Edward. That won't get you laid," I threatened. I needed to take back some control over the conversation.

I changed into pajamas and climbed into bed, turning off one of the little lamps with the wagon train that had been in my room forever. "Night."

I rolled over and tried to pretend I was asleep, but he hadn't moved, and well, the other light was on. I flipped over to look at him and saw he wasn't exactly happy, just as I suspected. "What?" I asked ready to do battle.

"Let me…" he began.

"If any part of that sentence has anything to do with money, I'm going to the couch," I snapped.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you're so goddamn stubborn. Fine. No more talk about money," he responded as he stripped off and pulled on pajama pants. He climbed into the twin across from me and turned his back to me after he turned off the other light, and I didn't like it.

I got out of my bed and slipped in behind him. I smoothed his hair back and kissed his neck. "I love you, but you can't solve all my problems, babe. I have to learn how to do shit on my own. You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact you want to take all my problems away, but you can't. What kind of partner can I be to you if I can't figure out how to live on my salary? I don't want to rely on you to take care of me financially. Every other way, hell, I'm on board, but financially, I draw the line."

He turned over, and I saw the tears in his eyes. God, it broke my fucking heart. "Edward, baby…"

"No, hear me out. I won't try to force anything on you, but if you run short, you have to promise me you'll come to me before you do without anything. You have to promise me, Jasper."

I leaned forward and kissed him gently, drawing his tongue into my mouth and swirling mine with his. He was so fucking amazing, and I loved him more than anything. It was another happy moment for me. They were coming more frequently, and I welcomed every one.

I pulled back. "I promise. Now, go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a way I know you love," I teased.

He laughed. "How about you put me to sleep that way? I think I'm a little keyed up, and well, it's your fault."

I snaked my hand down to his pajama pants and pulled them down, and then _I_ went down. I swirled my tongue and sucked him into my throat. His moans of "Fuck Jasper" were music to my ears. When he released into my mouth, I had a smile on my face. I tucked him back into his pj's and kissed his forehead after he fell asleep. I whispered to him how much I loved him before I got out of the twin and fell asleep in my own, ignoring my aching cock. It was my fault, after all.

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_**So, the boys are in Forks with Momma. She's quite the lady.**_

_**Thank you for reading**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**OMG! What a screw up I am! Sorry for the SNAFU with last night's chapter. I have no idea what happened, but I fixed it. Sorry.**_

_**If you read the correct chapter 27, you know the boys are at Jasper's home in Forks to put up Christmas lights for his momma. Let's see what else we're getting up to…**_

_**SMeyer owns…I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

28. The Road to Freedom is Truth

##

A loud clap of thunder woke me. I looked out of my bedroom window, just in time for the lightening which lit up the woods around my mom's little house. I hated fucking storms, and well, Edward was there in the bed across from me, so…

I got up and walked over next to him, kissing his cheek. "Hmmm. Jasper." I was happy to hear that.

"Babe, scoot," I whispered into his ear. Without opening his eyes, he moved over, and I climbed in, grabbing him before he fell off the side. I enveloped him in my arms and kissed the back of his head.

"Mmm," he hummed as he laced his fingers with mine. The thunder rolled and the lightening cracked, but I felt safe. I looked at the closet in my room, knowing what it held inside. I shuddered a bit, and held him tighter to my chest, drawing strength from him.

"Jasper?" he whispered.

"The one and only," I whispered back as I clutched his hand when a roll of thunder hit again.

"Can I turn over?" I released him immediately.

"Too close for comfort?" I asked apprehensively as lightening lit up the sky. He stiffened a bit and wedged his leg between mine after he turned.

"I hate storms." He burrowed into my chest, resting a hand on my hip.

I wrapped my arms around him. "I'll keep you safe," I whispered as he fell asleep again. It was cramped, but it was absolutely perfect.

I couldn't get back to sleep because I was trying to plan how I would get some time away from everyone so I could talk with Esme and take care of other business. It was like planning a fucking invasion, but finally, I had a half-assed plan, so I felt better and dozed off.

I felt a warm tongue on my neck, and I smiled. I opened my eyes and saw Edward, wild haired, smiling at me. "I'd have woken you another way, but I didn't think you'd like _that_ surprise, so I've been kissing you until I finally got you to open your eyes." I wished to fuck he could wake me up with what I'm sure was a blow job, but I was sure I'd have freaked out and probably hurt him. Explaining that to my mother wasn't anything I wanted to do.

"What time is it?" I whispered.

"Nine-thirty," he announced after he checked his phone.

"Fuck. Well, I'll just have to think about my grandma in a bikini to get rid of the boner. There's not enough time to take care of it now," I complained. He chuckled.

He reached under the pillow and pulled out a bottle of lube. "Pull our pants down. I think we've got a little bit of time, don't you?" Well, it wasn't like we had a reservation for breakfast.

I did as he suggested, and when he wrapped his slick hand around both of our hard cocks, I sighed in pure happiness. "Damn, that feels good," I stated the obvious. He licked my bottom lip, and when I opened my mouth, he stuck his tongue inside as the two of us began thrusting slowly against each other in his slick fist. I slipped my left hand up his t-shirt and pinched his nipple between my thumb and forefinger as we kissed. His moans were matching mine as we both fucked his fist. I moved my right hand down to join his and we both sped up our movements. It felt really fucking good. So good, in fact, much too soon, I was about come, and I didn't have the control to slow down the speeding train.

"Fuck, Edward, I'm close," I whispered as I pulled away and looked into his bright green eyes.

"Me too, love." We continued to thrust against each other, and just as I was about to shoot off, his mouth covered mine. I felt his cock throbbing against mine and I let go as well. We were going to have a hell of a mess on our hands…_ha ha_…but it was definitely worth it. Walking around all day with a hard-on wasn't up my alley, though likely, it would happen anyway.

"Goddamn, I love feeling your skin against me. Who's going to shower first? I assume Miss Lilly would frown on us sharing, even in the name of ecology?" he teased.

"I wish. Anyway, I need a favor. I need to get away from my mom to have my session with Dr. Platte." He laughed as he got up from the bed. My reference to his mother as Dr. Platte cracked him up, the jackass.

He took off his t-shirt and tossed it to me to clean up the mess on my hand and chest after he did. I pulled the covers back and pulled up my pajama pants, hopping out on my side. I checked the bed to be sure we hadn't made a mess on the sheets, and I quickly made it while he grabbed clothes out of his bag.

"What's your favor?" Watching him move around without a shirt had me unable to form sentences.

I snapped out of it. "I'm going to invite our friends over tonight, and Momma's going to complain about not having enough food. Would you volunteer to go to the store for her with Eric? I need to take her car to get it serviced this afternoon, so I'll do that while I talk to your mom." All I kept thinking about was the tangled web I was weaving, but if I told him what I was planning to do, he'd insist on coming with me, and I needed to do it alone.

So, my plan was that while Edward and Eric went to the store for her, I'd track down Charlie and talk to him about shit. I trusted him, having known the man for several years, and based on his friendship with my dad back in the day, I knew he'd believe me. Whether there was a way to prove my accusations, well, he'd be able to tell me that as well.

Since Mom had already taken her car to get it serviced a few days prior, Edward wouldn't get suspicious. I just needed to get Charlie to meet me at the station without saying anything to Bella about it.

After we'd both dressed for the day and I'd called Em and told him to invite everyone, we went downstairs to find Eric and my mom chatting about Tyler. "He's six-six? You must have to climb a ladder to kiss him," Momma teased.

Eric giggled and then looked our way. "Well, finally. Miss Lilly's been thinning the gravy for ten minutes."

I laughed. I helped Momma dish up scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, and her sausage gravy with the leftover biscuits from the night before. I poured coffee and juice, and we all sat down for breakfast. We dug in, and for a few minutes, there was no talking.

After my first helping, I cleared my throat as I filled my plate again. "Momma, our friends who came out with us were going to have a party at La Push tonight, but with the storm, it's cancelled. I know you invited some of your friends over, but is it okay if I invite some of mine? Emmett's here with his boyfriend, and Edward's good friend, Seth, and his sister came out as well," I offered, remembering how much she loved Emmett.

"Sure. How many?" she asked looking a little concerned.

"Well, um, let's see. I'm sure you invited Charlie and Bella, the Webers, and then your friends from work. There's Em, Jake, Seth, Leah, and us three. Maybe my friend Brady, if he can get a ride out from PA?" I saw her doing the math, and when she had a count, she sighed.

"Well, it'll be cozy, but sure. What the hell. I'm gonna need you to go get another pork roast and fire up the smoker. The oven isn't big enough to cook two roasts," she ordered.

"Yeah, we'll take care of getting the extra food. I think Edward was going to show Eric around town anyway, so I'll take care of the food. Thanks, Momma." She began clearing the table, and the three of us grabbed our coats and went outside to begin hanging the Christmas lights.

After I got Edward and Eric started, I went inside and grabbed my laundry bag to take it to the back porch to start a load of whites. Momma was in the kitchen making sides, and when she saw me, she laughed. "Just leave it. I'll do it between cooking sides. This is gonna end up more like a cookout than a dinner, you know."

"Hey, nobody's gonna care as long as you make it. I'll go start the smoker so you can get the roast on, and as soon as we finish, I'll go to the store. Make me a list." She nodded and went to the drawer to grab a pad and paper.

I rushed out back and started the smoker, adding the applewood chips to water. After I saw it had caught, I went to the front where Edward was on the ladder with Eric feeding him the lights. "How's it going?" I asked.

"You seem to have conveniently disappeared," Edward complained. I laughed. He hated putting up lights.

"I tell ya what. I won't ask you to help me take them down after the holidays." That reminded me he'd be in California for a month and I'd be in Forks. That was going to suck massively.

He laughed. "I'll be taking all that shit down at my parents. How's that going to work, anyway?" he asked.

Eric looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. "What?" I asked him to stall having to tell Edward I had no idea.

"I was just curious how you're going to survive? Ty has games, so he doesn't get much time off at Christmas. I've adjusted, actually traveling a bit to be there for him. How are you, you lovesick girl, going to handle the separation?"

"Honestly, I don't know," I whispered. Just then, Edward climbed down the ladder.

"I gotta pee. I'll be back." He pecked my lips and walked inside. I grabbed another strand of lights and went to the front porch to begin wrapping them around the hand rail and spindles.

Eric walked up with another set and started helping me. "Jasper, I've been very patient and kept my mouth closed since Halloween. I didn't ask you what happened to my bedding after you said you spilled kool-aid on it and you replaced it, and I've overlooked the fact that every night we sleep with a chair wedged under the doorknob. I've also held off asking why you're still up when I go out with some of our friends from QuAC and you don't want to go. I thought you liked it."

The Queer Activism Coalition was something I'd enjoyed getting involved with before… Since…well, I didn't do much of anything. I knew I had to tell him something because he was a very dear friend to me and I didn't want to lose him.

I stopped what I was doing and walked over to him, taking his hand to stop his work. "Look, I can't talk about it yet, but when I can, I'll tell you everything, okay? I will tell you this. You be very careful when you walk around campus alone. There are people there who aren't nice, and they prey on guys like us. I really don't want to say anything more right now, but please be careful."

I engulfed him in a hug, and when I felt his hands on my back through my coat, I fought the urge to push him away. Becoming accustomed to innocent touches again without allowing the panic to set in was on my priority list. Thankfully, he nodded and hugged me tightly just as Edward walked back outside.

"I leave you two alone for a minute and you toss me aside for the little hottie. Well, I like that," Edward teased.

Eric giggled as I released him. "Hey, Dude, when you've got it, you've got it. Now, I've gotta pee." Eric hurried inside, and Edward looked at me for an explanation.

I pulled him into my body and kissed him gently. When I pulled back, I squeezed his ass, but I didn't let him go. "He asked me what was going on with me. He reminded me of some strange behavior he's witnessed from me and my absence from participating in activities with QuAC. I told him I couldn't talk about it yet, but when I could, I'd tell him everything.

"You know better than to think I'd let you get away, babe. I love you," I whispered as I kissed him again as the front door opened. I thought it was Eric, but the giggle let me know it was my mother.

I pulled away to see her smiling with a list in her hands. "I didn't know giving the neighbors a show was part of putting up my Christmas lights," she teased.

Edward backed away, his face bright red, and I knew mine was just as red. "Sorry, Momma."

She laughed again. "Don't be. I'm happy to see you're happy. Now, here's the list. I'd guess you're just about done. Eric volunteered to stay and help me cook, so you two go to the store." _Fuck, that wasn't the plan at all._

I knew I'd never be able to keep my plans a secret from Edward, and considering he was my boyfriend, I was pretty sure his mom…my therapist…would advise against it. "We will. We'll finish up real quick and we'll get going. The chips are soaking, so have Eric put 'em in the tray about ten minutes before you're ready to put the meat on. It might take us a while," I told her.

"No problem." She went back inside and we went back to work. After we were finally finished, I took his hand as we stowed the tub in the garage after moving the reindeer to the yard and plugging them in. I stood back and looked at the house, knowing Daddy always did it better, but grateful for the help nonetheless.

"I need to tell you something. Let's go up to my room." He nodded and we went inside, hearing Eric and my mom in the kitchen, chatting away like old friends.

We quietly made our way upstairs, and I could see he was worried. I went to my closet and dug around, finding the trash bag I'd hidden there the weekend Em and I came to Forks for my dad's memorial service.

"What's that?" Edward asked.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I need to go talk to Bella's dad. This is Eric's bedding and the tape that was over my mouth, along with other stuff. I need to know from Charlie if there's any chance this stuff could be used to try to prove what happened to me."

He sat down on the bed and looked at me. "You're going to tell him what happened?" He was quiet with his question, and I wondered why.

I sat down next to him. "I was going to go by myself, but it occurred to me that the smarter thing to do would be to take my boyfriend with me because I'm going to be a fucking wreck when it's over and I might need the moral support.

"I'm sorry I considered trying to do this alone. I'm used to being the one people depend on, and it's hard to ask someone for help, but I believe half of my getting better is dependent upon me allowing people in to help me. Namely, _you_." I took his hand and held it while he considered what I'd said.

He looked up at me through tear-filled eyes, but he smiled. "Thank you, Jasper. I'd have understood if you wanted to do it alone, but I can't say I wouldn't have been hurt a little. We're a couple, and I'm here to support you in any way you need, sometimes whether you like it or not." He chuckled as I reached up and stopped the two tears rolling down his cheeks.

I laughed. "I'm not saying I won't bitch, but I'll always appreciate it. So, shall we? I need to go talk to Charlie first so the food's still cold when we bring it home." He nodded and grabbed the bag, slipping outside with it while I went to the kitchen.

"We're leaving. Anything else?" I asked.

"Oh, goodness. Hang on." Momma hurried off and came back a minute later with her debit card.

"What's this?" I asked.

Momma laughed. "How do you think you'll pay for it, Mr. No-Money-In-My-Pocket? We'll be talking about that later, JJ. Now, scoot and get that roast back here." I kissed her cheek and hurried out the front door.

I got into Edward's car and saw him smile at me. "How's your mom's car going to get serviced?"

"I lied. I'm sorry. She took it last week."

"Thank you for telling me the truth, _now_. Don't lie to me, Jasper. That's a deal breaker." I nodded, knowing he was telling me the truth, and swearing to myself I'd never lie to him again.

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_**So, Jasper's finally gotten to the place where he wants to seek some justice. What do we think? Next chapter, we have the discussion with Bella's dad.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Thank you for the reviews. Jasper's going to talk to Charlie. This one made me cry.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

29. Coke and Compassion

##

"Jasper, it's good to see you, son. I remember you. Cullen, right?" Charlie greeted us when we stopped at the station after searching around for his car. We drove by his home, and when it wasn't there, we checked the diner and then the station. Thankfully, that's where we found him.

"Yes, sir. Edward. My dad used to head up emergency medicine at the hospital before we moved to California. It's good to see you again." Edward extended his hand and Charlie shook it, opening the small gate and inviting us back to his office.

Edward carried the bag and followed us. Once we were in his office, Charlie asked us to sit down and leaned back in his chair, expectantly.

"Chief, I'm here for some advice. I hope you'll respect my privacy in this because Momma doesn't know anything about it. Edward knows, and you remember my large friend, Emmett, from the memorial service? He knows because he, uh, found me the next day." Charlie sat forward and nodded, bracing his arms on the blotter.

I reached for the bag and set it on Charlie's desk. I opened it and began pulling out the bedding and the tape, placing them on his desk in front of him. He was studying me carefully, but he didn't ask any questions.

I took a deep breath. "I was raped in my dorm room on Halloween night. I'd been out with Emmett to play pool," I began. I went on to tell him about leaving, answering his questions regarding time and who would have seen me.

I reached over and took Edward's hand, holding it tightly for support. "I walked back to my dorm room and unlocked the door, noticing the light I'd left on wasn't, which was unusual. I closed the door and reached for the overhead switch, and that's when…" I then told him and Edward for the first time what happened. I tried to gloss over some things, but Charlie wouldn't let me. He was taking notes furiously as I was telling the story.

I could tell by his demeanor he was quite upset, and I was worried. "At some point, I blacked out. I woke up the next morning, and my hands weren't tied anymore. The ropes were gone, as was whatever they put over my head. Emmett, my friend, was who woke me, and he tried to get me to go to the hospital but I was scared and humiliated, so I refused. I see, now, that was a mistake, but at the time, well, I wasn't thinking clearly."

Charlie coughed a bit and cleared his throat. "Okay, son. Do you know who it was?"

I looked at Edward, and he squeezed my hand. "I think it was my former roommate. He and I didn't get along from the beginning, and…" I explained all that bullshit to him. I told him about the initial meeting. I told him about the shower room incident, which caused Edward to get up from the chair and pace the floor. I told him about what he'd said to me before he violated me, and then I stood from the chair and took off my coat.

"I don't remember this, but Emmett saw it first. It wasn't until he tried to clean off my back that we figured out it wasn't just writing with a marker. Oh, that's in the bottom of the bag." I turned my back to him and took off my shirt, showing him my greatest shame. By then, the calm exterior I'd been able to maintain as I explained everything to him was gone, and the pain was just as bad as when I'd discovered what they'd done to me that morning after...

Edward quickly took my hands and held them. "It's okay. You're doing the right thing," he whispered.

I heard coughing behind me, and when I turned around, I saw Charlie furiously gulping water, his back to us. Edward gently pulled my flannel shirt up my back and buttoned it with a soft smile. "I love you, Jay. I'm so proud of you."

I dried my eyes on my sleeves and turned to sit down. I saw Charlie wiping his eyes discreetly before he turned around to face us again. "Okay. I'll be back in a second. I need to grab a camera because I'm going to need to take a picture of that, Jasper. Can I get your boys anything? Soda? Water?"

"A couple of Cokes, maybe?" Edward asked as he looked at me. I nodded, and Charlie excused himself, pulling the blinds closed before he left.

I turned to Edward. "Are you okay? I know I never told you this shit, and I think you can understand why, now."

"I do, love, and I guess I should be grateful for you sparing me the details, but I'm glad at this point I know why certain things set you off. This is a discussion I should have pushed weeks ago, but now that I know, I'll better understand things.

"For future reference, there's nothing you can't tell me, Jasper. Nothing at all, okay?" He was quite earnest, and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm curious. How did you know about Jimmy's girlfriend and that guy you got arrested over?" It was something I'd never asked, and as I sat there, I wondered why.

"I have a friend who works in Student Housing. Actually, its Seth's sister, Leah. She looked up Jimmy Turner's new residence because I had a bad feeling about him after you showed up in the library with that shiner from the shower incident.

"I started following him and saw Laurent DuBois come and go a lot along with Victoria Hunter. I saw the three of them together on several occasions, so when you said there were two of them who attacked you, I knew who it was. I waited outside McCarty Hall where Victoria lived, and followed her and DuBois to the club the night I got arrested. I did what I did, but I'm not sorry, Jasper.

"I only learned DuBois' name after I was arrested, but I've kept an eye on him and Turner. They're biding their time to get back at me for what happened with Victoria, and…" before he went any further, Charlie returned.

"Okay," Charlie sighed loudly. He handed us Cokes and sat down behind his desk, opening a folder and jotting down a number on a paper, handing it to me.

"This is your case number. It will remain a John Doe for the time being, but eventually, I'll have to add your name to it. I can do a lot of investigating before I have to do that, though. Now, I need to know who might have any information to corroborate your story. I need contact information, and I need to know anyone who had contact with any of this evidence," he stated as he pulled rubber gloves out of his desk and put them on to handle everything.

He placed tags on everything and made a list of all of it. I'd forgotten about my boxers and t-shirt that were in the bag, and I was embarrassed about him finding them and asking what they were. He only nodded and tagged them, placing them in bags of all sizes.

I told him who might have touched the things in the bag, and who might have any information regarding the shit that happened. Edward added his part by giving Charlie the information from his arrest on campus. After we'd told him everything we could, he looked at the clock.

"Where does Lilly think you are? I know you haven't told her about this, but son, I think you need to." He was probably right, but I was dreading it.

"We have to go to the grocery store for the party. You're coming tonight, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, Bells and I will be there. Will some of these people be there? Do you think I could get them alone and question them? I need to get cheek swabs from your roommate, Eric, and Emmett so I can eliminate them. Edward, I'm planning to call SPD and get the record of your arrest, if that's okay."

"Whatever you need to do," he responded.

"Do you need to get a cheek swab from me?" I asked.

Charlie laughed. "Naw. Just give me that soda can. Actually, Edward, can I have yours as well? It's not that I think you had a hand in this, but if you were in Jasper's dorm room and maybe sat on Eric's bed or something, I want to be sure we're not chasing unnecessary ghosts."

Edward and I placed the cans on the desk, and Charlie put post-it's on them regarding whose was whose. "Okay, get out of here. I'll talk to you tonight. Jasper, think about telling your mother. I'm not sure how we'll keep things from her because she's damn smart, that one."

I rose from my chair and nodded in agreement. Charlie rose from the desk and walked around it. "Son, on a personal note, I knew your dad very well. Hell, he was one of my best friends when we were kids. He'd be proud of you for coming forward and taking this on. This isn't as hopeless as you might think. It's just a little more difficult, but I'll give it everything I've got, I promise." He didn't try to hug me. He just squeezed my shoulders and offered me the support I was grateful to have.

We left and went to the grocery store. Edward went inside to do the shopping, and I called Dr. Platte. "Jasper, how are you?" she answered.

"I'm, uh, well, I'm not sure, Doc. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I just took that bag of stuff to the police and reported my rape." I heard her suck in a breath, and I knew she was shocked because I'd been so adamant about not telling anyone. I knew she was surprised I'd changed my mind and hell, I was surprised as well, but after what had happened with Riley Biers, I knew how important it was to do it…I mean, if I ever wanted to move passed it.

"What made you decide to do this, Jasper?" she asked.

I thought for a minute, and I knew something else I had to do. "Doc, I appreciate you setting my feet on this path, and I'll never forget it, but I need you to refer me to another therapist.

"Now, I'm gonna talk to Miss Esme. I truly appreciate you trying to help me, even as much as it had to tear you apart. For the sake of all of us, I need to talk to a third-party about this shit. Today, when Edward and I went to talk to Charlie, I realized the position I'd put you in, and it wasn't fair, but…without your push, I'd have never done it.

"I still need you and Dr. C in my life because I'm not gonna let your son get away from me. He's going to need you and his dad to help him because he sat with me when I told Charlie exactly what happened. He's shaken up, and maybe you call him later? Momma's having a party tonight, but I think he might need to talk to you."

I heard quiet sniffles, and they brought tears to my eyes as well. "Now, Miss Esme, I'd guess Dr. Platte would call this the road to recovery," I teased.

She laughed. "Jasper, my heart is overflowing right now. I'll call you on Monday after I talk to my friend, Carmen. She and I went to school together and we've stayed close. She's just downtown in Seattle, and I promise you, she's probably more equipped to help you than me because she's removed from it. I tried to compartmentalize it, but I won't lie and say it's been easy. Thank you, sweetie," she told me, though it wasn't anything I didn't expect to hear.

Suddenly, something popped into my head, and as much as I hated to ask, it was a concern. "Ma'am, I don't think my mother's insurance would cover this. I need to plan accordingly, so do you have any idea about…"

"Stop that business right now. She runs a crisis center downtown, as well as her private practice. Money is not a problem, Jasper. It's nothing you should worry about," she assured.

I didn't know if she was lying, because I knew her son and his generosity, but I had to hope she was being honest. I looked up through the windshield and saw Edward hurrying out of the store. I needed to go because I was pretty sure my mother was going to be pissed.

"Miss Esme, I need to go. A very handsome man is wheeling out a full grocery cart, and he looks a little worried. I'll talk to you soon," I told her.

"Anytime, Jasper. I'm still here for you." We said our good-byes, and I tossed the phone on the seat as I hopped out to help him unload the cart.

I didn't see a pork roast, so I looked at him. "Where's the roast?" There was a lot of chicken, and I was pretty sure I was going to hear ten kinds of hell from my mother.

"There's not enough time for a roast to smoke and be done before people get there. Chicken, on the other hand, can smoke and be pulled. I'll just tell her there wasn't a good roast. Help me unload this and formulate some sort of alibi so she doesn't rip us apart when we get back to the house."

I laughed. "Well, she'll be pissed, but I'm gonna tell her we couldn't keep our hands off one another."

He laughed as well, and we went home to meet the wrath of my mother. When we arrived, it was every bit as awful as I thought it would be, but after Edward explained to her about the purchase of chicken instead of pork, and he made up a dry rub, she quit bitching and helped him.

##

Dinner went on as scheduled. Everyone was having a good time, and I noticed Charlie Swan covertly taking Emmett and Eric aside to speak to them and then slip them into the bathroom. I was going to owe Eric an explanation when we all returned to school.

People were drinking and talking, and I saw Edward speaking with a nurse from the hospital who remembered his father. I felt a tug on my shirt and turned to see my mother standing there. "You come with me right now, Jasper Josiah."

I knew I was in trouble when she stopped in the kitchen and snuck a cigarette. I grabbed a pack of matches from another drawer and two beers. I hated to tell her that shit in the middle of a party, but Lillian Whitlock was out of patience.

We walked out onto the deck, and I led her to the yard, grateful for the glider that was as old as anything. We were bundled up, and I was thankful because it was cold as shit that night.

I lit her cigarette and opened a beer, handing it to her as I opened the other for me. It was time to tell her the truth, and I wished it could have been under other circumstances, but I'd watched her all night, and she'd been watching everyone in the room, especially Charlie. There was no way to avoid it.

"Momma, I know you've noticed things tonight, and I need to tell you something. This isn't the time or place, but I don't think I have a choice anymore, so…" I took a deep breath.

She exhaled the smoke and turned to stare at me with a look of concern. "JJ, anything you've done, we'll figure it out, son. There's nothing…"

I took her hand and held it. "Momma, on Halloween night, I went out with Emmett. We got dinner, played a little pool, and when we went our separate ways that night I went back to my dorm. Eric was gone. He was in Georgia because his boyfriend was injured so he went to check on him.

"When I opened the door, I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't think things through. Daddy would have been disappointed in me because of it, but I thought I was safe."

I then skimmed over what happened, hearing her crying as I gave her information including what happened earlier that day when I went to talk to Charlie. I was crying by then, and my beer was drained.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and a beer in front of me. I turned to see Edward standing there with a tender smile on his face. He handed a beer and a cigarette to my mother, and then he produced tissues from his pocket, sitting down on the arm of the glider with his hand on my shoulder in silent support.

"Miss Lilly, are you okay?" Edward asked kindly.

"Now, you stop that. You better start calling me Momma. You're a part of our family, Edward, and I'll deal with you just as I deal with JJ," she told him between the tears. She hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back.

It had gone better than I expected, though I didn't know what I actually expected. My mother wasn't judgmental at all, but I was worried about telling her what had happened because she was a fiercely protective Momma Bear. I should have told her when it happened, but I didn't. I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life.

\\\

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**I'm so happy your still with me. We have ten chapters left. It's been a journey for our boys, but they're not through it yet. Thank you so much for your reviews.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**This was a fun chapter…this is also where we start to lay ground…**_

_**\\\**_

30. Kama Sutra

##

"Love you," I told my mother as we stood by the front door after breakfast. We were heading back to school, and I was anxious to get back to some sort of a routine.

After everyone had left the night before, Mom made Charlie stay to talk to her. He'd already tracked down the town in Mississippi…Vicksburg…where Jimmy Turner's parents still lived, and he'd put in a call to the chief-of-police down there because when he ran Turner's name through NCIC, whatever the fuck that was, there were a couple of hits. Because he was a juvenile offender, Charlie couldn't get any more information, but the fact the guy was in the system was a red flag, apparently.

The other fucker, Laurent DuBois, didn't have a record, but Charlie was able to track him to Tallulah, Louisiana, and had also put in a call to the chief-of-police there, but again, he hadn't received a return call.

"Stop at the station and sign that waiver so I can keep after Charlie about this, and here," she stated as she shoved something in my hand while Edward and Eric loaded the car. Since I was over eighteen, I had to give written permission for my mother to have any information regarding the investigation. Maybe it was a cop out for me to leave it to her to do the checking-in with Charlie, but I felt like for my own sanity, maybe it was the best thing to do.

I looked down at the paper in my hands and saw it was a check for a thousand dollars. "Momma, you can't afford…"

"Stop it right now, JJ. I won't have my son running through the streets without a dollar in his pocket, ya hear? You ever get low on money again and don't call me, well, there'll be hell to pay, you understand me, boy? Now, gimme a kiss and get on out of here." I leaned forward and kissed her cheek, hugging her tightly. I had the saints to thank for being blessed with that woman for my mother.

I shoved the check in my pocket and grabbed my laundry bag to go to the car. Just as I tossed it in the back, Momma yelled, "JJ, I better see that check clear this week, ya hear?"

Eric was giggling at her chastisement, so I discreetly flipped him off and climbed into the car on the passenger side. Edward waved to her again, and we got on our way. After stopping at the station where I ran in and signed the paper for Charlie, we got back on the road for the long drive back to school.

On the way to PA to collect Brady, I turned to the back and saw Eric was asleep, having stayed up for hours on the phone with Tyler the night before. Edward and I went straight to bed after Charlie left, and unfortunately, nothing happened except a quick, chaste kiss good-night.

"So, this morning when I came down, you and Momma were talking and shut up pretty quick when you heard me. What was she quizzing you about?" I asked. I couldn't imagine what they'd been talking about because they were both smiling and happy, but Edward was a master at masking his emotions when he wanted. Momma, well, her poker face was well-known.

Edward gave me a sideways glance and I saw a small smile. "She asked me what happened that caused me to get arrested."

"What did you tell her?"

He sighed. "I told her that I love you very much, and I was taunting Turner to attack me because after I beat him to a bloody pulp, I'd call the police and file charges against him. I know, at the time, you were so fucked up by what happened, you weren't thinking clearly and couldn't imagine going to the cops about it. Hell, love, if it had happened to me the way it happened to you, I'd be right there with you.

"But, knowing to expect it gave me the confidence I'd be able to take it on. It's not an indictment on you, Jasper. It's just that being prepared for it to happen would keep me on my guard. I don't know if he knows you and I are together because we have no way of knowing if he's keeping tabs on you. I wonder if we should sort of keep things under wraps at school so he doesn't catch on," he stated, which pissed me off immediately.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the windshield, not quite sure what to say. After a minute, I couldn't hold my fucking tongue. "I'd say me pinning you against the wall of the HUB the other day after lunch would sort of let the cat out of the bag, but hey, if that's what you want, that's fine. Hell, I can start dating Joel, my chem lab partner, to really throw them off the scent."

I hated myself as soon as the words were out of my mouth, but I was pissed, and I wasn't going to be treated like a fucking doormat anymore. _Future Jasper_ wasn't going to be cowardly like _Before Jasper _had been_._ That was a fact.

"Jasper, stop it. That's not what I meant, okay? I just meant I don't want him to focus on you to get back at me for what I did, okay? That wasn't something I considered when I did what I did, okay? It's only dawning on me now I might have set you up for him to try to get back at me by hurting you. I couldn't stand it if he came after you again." He reached for my hand and when I pulled it away, he whipped the car over to the side of the road and threw it into park.

He turned to me, clearly worried. "Goddammit, don't do that, please? I know you can take care of yourself, okay? That shit with Riley is proof of it. I just…have you run into Turner on campus since it happened? Do you know how you'd react if you suddenly ran into him at the library or the HUB?"

It wasn't anything I hadn't thought about, and I'd been very careful when I went to class alone, keeping my wits about me at all times. Since Turner was a freshman like me, it only made sense we'd run into each other at some point, but we hadn't, which was strange to me when I thought about it.

"I don't know. I haven't run into him since the attack, and it seems strange to me because he's a freshman, right? Shouldn't we have some classes in the same buildings?"

Edward pulled my hand into his, grasping it tightly between his. "Listen to me, okay? I've been stalking you around campus, and I haven't seen him, which makes me think he's purposely avoiding being anywhere you are so as not to draw suspicion. Why don't you move into the apartment? I'd be able to sleep a lot better," he offered.

I squeezed his hand. "Thank you, but I can't leave Eric alone in that room. If they _do_ decide to come after me again in retaliation for what you did, Eric would be there alone. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night for waiting for that call. I don't want us living together because of this shit, okay? It already invades our time together, and I don't want it to force us to do anything we're not ready to do because of it.

"We haven't been together that long, and it's too soon for anything like that, Edward. Now, get back on the road because I've got homework to finish before classes tomorrow. We need to get Brady and get back to campus," I ordered. He leaned forward and kissed me gently before pulling back onto the highway.

We picked up Brady, giving his mother back her cake container with my momma's Texas cake inside as a "thank you." We got back to campus at four o'clock, and after kissing Edward good-bye with a promise to talk to him later that night, I carried Eric's and my things into the building.

After putting away my clean clothes, I sank down on my bed, pulling out my laptop and my Lit book to finish a paper on my analysis of _A Farewell to Arms._ I wasn't thrilled I'd put it off, but it was what it was. I settled in and began trying to analyze the story, but the whole thing was boring as hell for me. When my cellphone buzzed, I welcomed the distraction.

_Jasper – I spoke with Carmen. She's expecting you on Wednesday afternoon at the Harborview Center for Sexual Assault. It's on Broadway. I faxed her my file, so she's ready for you. If you want to talk, call me. Esme xo_

I sent her a response, thanking her, and I went back to my paper. There was a knock on the door and then I heard the key in the lock. I grabbed my pepper spray from under my pillow, and I hopped up off the bed. When Eric opened the door, he looked very upset.

I tossed the spray on the bed and sat down. "E, what's wrong?" I asked.

He'd gone to get food earlier with Brady after Edward let us out, but I begged off. I was worried something had happened while they were out. Fuck, I was becoming paranoid.

He sat down on his bed and looked at me. "Look, Jaybird, I wasn't intentionally listening to your conversation in the car, okay? I was sleeping, but you two started sorta speaking louder, and then Edward whipped the car over so quick I nearly fell in the floor. I have an idea what happened to you, and I have to ask, did he do it here? You're ex-roommate? Did he attack you here on my bed?"

I could only nod. "FUCK!" he yelled. He began tearing the bedding off his bed and pulled the mattress off, opening the door to our room and shoving it into the hallway. He closed and locked the door, wedging the chair under it as I did on a nightly basis, and he sat down on the wooden slats that had held up the mattress.

"If I wouldn't have gone to Georgia that weekend, it never would have happened," he whispered as the tears rolled down his face.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit with me on my bed. I held his hand and tried to keep my tears away so as not to cause him to sob harder. "E, listen to me. If you'd been here, we _both_ would have been hurt, okay? They're monsters, and back then, I wasn't strong enough, mentally or physically, to protect us, but I know, now, I can. Until this thing is cleared up, you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together, okay? I don't trust them, and I'm not willing to risk either of our safety."

He nodded, and I pulled him to rest his head on my shoulder, wrapping my arms around the little guy as he cried. He was truly a good friend, and if Edward was right that Turner and DuBois might seek revenge on me or anyone in my life for what _he'd_ done, then it was my responsibility to make sure Eric and Brady were fine. Edward, Emmett, and Jake could take care of themselves, I was sure. I'd also have to look out for Bella and Angela, but I was sure Emmett was already doing it. He was that kind of a guy, and I loved him for it.

##

"A butt plug?" Edward stated in disbelief as we sat in the middle of his bed. It was the Thursday night before we were going away for the weekend to celebrate Christmas together prior to going our separate ways for the holidays. He wouldn't tell me where we were going that weekend, only that we were driving and on Sunday afternoon, I was dropping him off at Sea-Tac and then driving his car out to Forks for the break.

Things had been going well between us, me spending Wednesday nights at his place and weekends since we'd returned from Forks. We'd just gotten through finals with the exception of my chem final the next day. As soon as I got off work, we were leaving and I was excited.

I had more gifts for him, but we were taking them with us for our weekend. This particular gift, however, I wanted to give him early because I knew we'd have to talk about it. I'd seen Dr. Denali a couple of times since Esme had set me up with her. I'd asked her about it, and she said it was best to take things slow, and talk to him about things before trying anything outside my comfort zone.

"Uh, yeah. I'd like us to, um, explore a little this weekend," I offered.

"Explore? As much as I love the sound of that, I need a little more information," Edward replied with a smirk.

"Okay. Dr. Denali and I talked about this last session. I told her I wanted to be able to have…to let…to be okay with you fucking me. She told me slow was best, so I hoped maybe we could start with the butt plug. See, it's really a selfish gift," I stated awkwardly.

He leaned forward and kissed me gently, stroking his hand over my neck. He touched the bite mark there which caused me to flinch.

He moved his hand and rested it on my jaw. "I think, before we start something like that, we should try exploring other things first. I don't want to push things, Jasper, but I'm happy with the idea of you even considering I might be able to, someday, make love to you. Let's start with something smaller, okay?"

In truth, I was a little relieved. "Okay. What do you have in mind?"

"I'll be back," he stated. He left the room and returned a minute later with a box, handing it to me. It was wrapped in red paper with a silver bow, and the gift tag read, "_To my gorgeous boy from your lovesick fool." _I laughed.

"_Lovesick fool?_ I'd say you're anything but lovesick or a fool, Edward." I knew he loved me, but to call himself a lovesick fool over me was a bit over the top.

"Oh, then you don't pay much attention, Jasper. Open it," he demanded.

I ripped the paper off the box and saw the name on the lid. _Kama Sutra._ That had some interesting potential. Even as inexperienced as I was regarding sex, I'd heard of the _Kama Sutra. _I pulled off the lid and found it contained five different oils along with a card on the top.

I pulled out the pamphlet and read it, quite curious.

_Sweet Almond - Release the intoxicating aroma of an almond blossom bouquet with a squeeze of Sweet Almond  
Healing Blend - Soothe a weary mind and body, revitalizing the soul with a daily allowance of Healing Blend  
Serenity - Ease everyday stresses and melt tensions away with a hint of Serenity  
Pleasure Garden - Dissolve inhibitions and arouse dormant passions with a journey into the Pleasure Garden  
Soaring Spirit - Replenish lost energy and set your lover's mood aloft with an uplifting touch of Soaring Spirit_

"Well, this is interesting. So, what did you have in mind, Mr. Cullen?" I asked with a smile.

He gave me that sexy grin I loved. "Well, there are many possibilities, but I was thinking we could start with something very innocent. A massage…of _your_ back."

I looked up from the box and saw he was serious. "Edward, I don't…"

He took my hands and placed them on his face. "Hear me out, love. Before we can ever try anything like what you proposed, we need to take some smaller steps. We need you to be okay with me touching you without you flinching and pulling away. We'll start with your back." I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love and tenderness. I put the box aside and stood from the bed, stripping off completely. If I didn't trust Edward Cullen, the man I loved with all my heart, I'd never trust anyone as long as I lived. It had to start somewhere.

I went to the bathroom to grab a towel, and I placed it on his comforter. I lay down on my stomach, giving my permission for him to do anything he wanted.

He stripped down to his boxers and stood by the side of the bed. "Love, I'm going to kneel next to you and…"

"_No! _I don't want you to tell me what you're going to do. I want you to do whatever you want to do, Edward. Straddle my hips and talk to me, but touch me where you want and don't tell me," I ordered.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I turned my head to see him kneeling on the bed next to me, and I saw the apprehension on his face.

"Edward, I'll hang onto this pillow, and if it's too much, I'll tell you immediately. If I do, you get as far away from me as possible, okay?"

"I don't…"

"Babe, straddle my back and give me a massage. I'll tell you if it's too much, I swear."

He did as I asked, resting on his knees on either side of my lower back. I felt his warm hands touch my shoulders tentatively, but it felt so nice, I moaned. "Talk to me, baby. Remind me it's you," I whispered.

I felt his fingers kneading the stiff muscles on my shoulders, and it felt incredible. "Jasper, I love you so much. I've been thinking about what you mentioned when we were in LA, regarding your major. You talked about wanting to be a cop, and when you said it, my mind pictured you in a uniform and I've been having a lot of dirty thoughts about it since we discussed it."

I laughed a bit at his admission. "You _would_ focus on something like that. I'd have handcuffs, you know. That could be interesting," I joked as his hands moved to stroke my spine, his thumbs working over the muscles and melting me into the mattress.

"Oh, don't think I didn't consider it. I'd be more than happy to…" He stopped.

I turned my head and looked at him. "Say it, baby."

"I'd be more than happy to let you handcuff me to anything, love. I trust you with everything I am, and I think being at your mercy sounds pretty fucking incredible," he finished.

He hesitated for a moment, and then he gently brushed his hands over the horrible words carved into my back. It was a test. I flinched for a moment, but when I felt his warm fingers as they massaged my skin, I relaxed under his touch. It was soothing and loving. As his hands stroked over the horrible scars, I felt loved. I felt the love from him seeping into my skin. He leaned forward and kissed me between my shoulder blades, and as his tongue swept down my back and began tracing the horrible letters carved into my back, I took a deep breath.

"Jasper, these words, they have no meaning unless you give them credence. I love you. They have no hold over you. You own me, and I'm yours completely."

I had tears in my eyes, but I wiped them on the pillow because his words were exactly what I needed to hear. I was his as well, I just hadn't told him.

"Thank you, babe. Can you move a little lower? My sciatica has been bothering me since I sparred with Fred yesterday," I joked.

He was sparring with a guy named Craig at the gym, and I was sparring with a mountain of a man named Fred. He was slow because of his size, but when he landed a punch, he sent my ass to the floor. It was just what I needed to get all the aggression out and keep me on my guard.

"Oh, really? Sciatica? Why am I just now hearing about this?"

"Because it's the first time I've wanted you to touch my ass?" I teased as I felt him move down my body to my thighs.

"Open or closed?" he asked as he touched my legs. I opened them and he settled on his knees between them, continuing to massage my skin, relaxing me and driving me crazy at the same time. My cock was trying to poke a hole in his mattress at that point, and I was actually pleased. I'd worried that if he ever touched my ass I'd go limp, but apparently, that wasn't the case, thank God.

"Hey, your dad suggested I get a tattoo on my back. All the other shit they can do to try to remove it is expensive, painful, and not really successful. What do you think?" I asked as his hands worked my lower back and ass cheeks.

"Hmm. A tattoo? That sounds pretty fucking cool. Dad has one of Kate and me on his back, and he has one on his ring finger. My sister actually designed them. They're really good. I've thought about it over time, but I've never found anything I was interested in permanently marking my body with. What would you get?" he asked as his hands began working my left ass cheek. My poor cock was leaking, and I craved his hands on it. His strategy was working alright.

"God, that feels incredible," I moaned as his fingers grazed my crack, not really breaching it but just letting me know he was there and starting the first tentative steps for where we wanted to get. I actually appreciated his gentle approach, and when he moved to the other side, I moaned loudly, embarrassingly so.

"Feel good?" he asked quietly as his fingers kneaded the muscles, relaxing me completely.

"God, yes. It feels like nothing I've ever experienced," I replied.

"Good." He moved down my thighs, massaging them as he talked about mundane bullshit…crap with his classes, a project he wasn't looking forward to working on next semester for one of his classes. He could have been reciting the alphabet by the time he was massaging my feet, and I wouldn't have cared. The one thing that pulled me out of the relaxation fog I was in was…

"Roll over. Time to do the front." Oh, holy hell.

\\\

_**Uh…so? Seems the boys have a plan. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Thank you for your reviews of last night's chapter. I'm glad you see the progress. I will remind readers I have been upfront about the fact this story contains violence and rape. If you went on to read the story even with the warning…well…I have to wonder, why?**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's see what happens after Jasper turns over…**_

_**\\\**_

31. Miracles

##

"Which one did you use?" I asked as I flopped on my back and saw him standing at the end of the bed naked. I knew he'd kept his boxers on for my benefit while I was on my stomach, but I was happy they were gone now. Maybe we could do more than just a massage?

He picked up a remote from his dresser and music softly began to play. He grabbed a lighter and walked over to candles I hadn't noticed, lighting them around the room and then he shut off the lights. He climbed up the bed and straddled my waist again, grazing his hard cock with mine.

"I thought I'd save the really sexy stuff for when I had you on your back. Are you okay?"

I giggled like a damn girl, but I was so fucking blissed out, it was no wonder. "Every bone in my body, save one, is relaxed." To emphasize the point, I thrust up to meet his cock with mine, hearing the moan I loved.

He picked up the bottle of oil and squeezed a bit on his hands. He placed it on the table and rubbed them together, placing his hands on my chest as he began massaging me again.

I, however, couldn't keep from moving my hard cock against his. It was so fucking incredible, and I couldn't stop. "Babe, I really, really want to fuck you," I whispered as he moved to my left arm and massaged it, loosening the muscles.

He leaned forward and kissed me gently, not deepening it but not pulling away for a moment. It was unbelievable. I felt love coursing through my body.

When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes as his hands moved to rest on my chest. "Jasper, I want you so much, but I want you to do something I'm not sure you're comfortable with," he stated as he looked into my eyes.

I tensed a bit, and he began rubbing my right arm from shoulder to hand, picking it up and pressing his thumbs into my palm as he waited for me to recover from my silent freak out.

"Okay, what?" I asked as he kissed my palm before he laid my hand back on the bed.

"I want you to make love to me. I want to be on my stomach, and I want you to take me from behind."

I started to sit up because there was no fucking way I could do that. Flashes went through my head, and I started to panic. How could he ask me to do that? He fucking knew…

"No, stop. It's not the same, Jasper! Think it through, love. It's not like that with us, and you know it. I trust you, love."

"Edward, I can't," I told him firmly. He placed his hands on my shoulders, straddling me. Our cocks were grazing, and mine was losing steam, unfortunately.

"Jasper, you _can_ do this. We'll start on our sides, my back to your chest. You can enter me that way and when you're comfortable, we'll shift. Love, it's not…it will feel really good, and I want this from you. I won't push it, and if it becomes too much, then we'll stop, okay?"

I was holding him in my arms and looking into his pleading eyes. I knew I couldn't deny him anything. "If it's too much, I'm going to pull away. Don't think it's you," I instructed.

"I won't, I swear." I could see the sincerity in his gorgeous greens, and I appreciated it.

I reached into the drawer and grabbed a condom and the lube and I squeezed some on my fingers, snaking my hand between us with my arm grazing both of our cocks. He moaned and thrust against me as I got him ready, and when he was begging me, I grabbed the condom, opening the fucker with my teeth.

Edward lay down on his left side with his back pressed against my chest. He took my hand and showed me how to lift his leg and prepare him and when he was ready, I gently pushed into him. "Oh, fuck, that's it."

I pushed into him slowly, hearing him agreeing with it the whole time. "Yesss…yessss…yessss."

Once I was all the way inside, he turned his head and looked into my eyes. "You fill me up so well, love." I ducked my head and kissed him with all the passion inside me as I pulled out and pushed in again.

We stayed that way for a while, moving gently against each other. Unable to get inside him completely in that position left me frustrated, and when I pushed him on his stomach and moved between his legs, I lifted his hips and sunk into him fully. We both sighed heavily at the contact, and I began stroking in and out of him slowly, enjoying the feeling.

"Fuck, Jasper, that's…right there, baby. Harder," he ordered as he lifted himself up on his hands and pushed back on me.

I let everything go and pulled him up so his back was flush with my chest, knowing my cock was hitting his prostate. I reached around and moved his hand from his cock, replacing it with mine. It was already slippery, and I didn't hesitate to take advantage of it, flicking my wrist so my palm grazed over the head.

"You like this, baby?" I whispered into his neck as I sucked the skin into my mouth harshly.

"God, yes," he responded as he moved his head to give me better access. I sunk back on my heels and pulled him with me, thrusting into him harder and faster as I stroked him in time with my hand, listening to his elevated breaths and his soft curses. I reached down and pushed against his perineum as my cock stroked his prostate, and he whimpered before he cried, "Fuck, yes. I'm coming. Oh, God, yes."

I felt his tight ass clench around me as he released onto the towel, and I stroked harder into him. I felt the tightening, and I closed my eyes and let go. It felt better than anything.

While I continued to pulse inside him, I leaned my head on his shoulder and caught my breath. I was actually unable to form words, much less sentences. "Miraculous." That was the first word that popped into my head, and I couldn't have held it back if I'd tried. What he'd done that night…the ground we'd covered…the bricks he'd busted down? Yeah, it was miraculous.

I grabbed the condom and slipped from him as he fell forward on the bed. I removed it and wrapped it in tissue before I sunk down on the towel to catch my breath. It was a bit overwhelming, but it had been mind-blowing just the same. How I was going to be away from him for a month wasn't anything I wanted to think about at the time. I just wanted to feel him. That was all I needed.

##

The next day, we struck out early. Edward was in a fantastic mood, and I was as well. He was actually giddy about this weekend away, and his excitement was rubbing off on me. "Tell me where we're going," I begged again. He'd stopped at a little bakery on our way out of the city, and he bought croissants and cinnamon mocha lattes, which I didn't know I even liked.

He'd been teasing me about the moaning and groaning I'd done as I ate, and then he bitched about the crumbs. I told him I'd detail the car when I had it in Forks, and that seemed to appease him, the big baby.

"A cottage, but first we have to take the ferry over. Once we get to the island, will you close your eyes? I'd blindfold you, but…" Yeah, he didn't have to remind me that wouldn't exactly fly.

"Fine. This cottage has heat, right?" It was fucking cold and snowing, and I wasn't looking forward to having to stay up all night keeping a fire burning to keep us from a severe case of frost bite of the dick because the plan was we'd be naked as much as possible over the weekend. Nakedness was definitely on the agenda.

"Yes, it has gas heat and electricity, and there's a tree there for us to decorate if we'd be so inclined. It won't be our stuff, but next year, we'll have a tree at the apartment we can decorate. So, we have a bit of time to kill. Should we play a car game?" he asked as he pulled onto the ferry and turned off the car.

I looked around, noticing it was snowing pretty heavily, and suddenly, car games took on a new meaning. I reached behind the seat and grabbed my winter coat I'd taken off once we got into the car. I put it over his lap as I eased off the emergency break. He looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, and I smiled.

"In about thirty seconds, the windshield is going to be covered in snow. Don't turn on the wipers. Reach under my coat and open your jeans, pull them down, and lay your seat back."

His eyes lit up, and I laughed. "It's not exactly road head because we're on the ferry and the car's not exactly moving, but in the interest of safety, I think it's a good way to pass the time. I mean, anyone could walk by the car and see me bent over the console," I taunted, knowing he'd enjoy it. I couldn't say my boyfriend was an exhibitionist in the truest sense of the word, but he did like our little groping sessions around campus in public where there was the potential to be caught.

"Jasper, you're going to…"

"Yes, Edward, I'm going to suck your cock right here where anyone could see it. I owe you something special for what you did for me last night." Without more prompting, he did as I said, and by the time the windshield was covered in snow, I slipped under the coat over the console, to take his gorgeous cock into my mouth. The lower half of my body was hanging out from under my coat, and it was true that anyone who walked on either side of the car could have seen me, but I was pretty sure most people were staying in their cars because it was so fucking cold outside, especially in the middle of Puget Sound.

I moved my right hand up his thigh and between his legs, surprised when I was met with rubber. I moved my hand to explore a bit more and figured out it was a butt plug, but not the one I'd given him. I knew he had some of his own, but I was surprised he had one in.

I pulled his cock out of my mouth and heard him gasp as I wiggled the plug inside him. "What's this?" I asked as I slipped out from under the coat to look into his unhappy face. I chuckled.

"I was a Boy Scout?" he offered with a weak smile.

"I don't think the Boy Scouts of America actually sanctions butt plugs, babe."

"No, no. I mean, always prepared. See, after I showered, I decided to put it in because I was sure that as soon as we got where we were going, we'd want to fuck, so I was taking the initiative and getting myself ready so we didn't have to wait. Also, it felt pretty fucking great as we were driving. Now, get back down there and suck my cock," he ordered.

I shook my head and went back to work on him, giving him my best stuff as I swirled and sucked him relentlessly. I wiggled the plug a little, hearing him moan and groan in satisfaction, and I was happy to be driving him crazy. His hand snaked under the coat and I felt it on my back and then in my hair, pushing me a little further down. I complied, sinking him in as far as I could.

"Fuck, yeah, Jasper, goddamn. This is the most…shit, _shit!_ There's a guard walking between…Ahhh."

The fact a guard was walking around was a bit exciting, so I sunk all the way down and swallowed around him, bring the high pitched "Ahhh" from him. If my mouth wasn't full, I'd have smiled.

I tugged on his balls and eased up on him, popping him out of my mouth. "If there's someone coming around, then you'd better fuck my mouth or you won't get to come until we get to the cottage." Without waiting, I sunk back down on him and when I felt his hips thrust, I wiggled the plug mercilessly as I hollowed my cheeks and let him fuck my mouth.

"Jasper…of fuck, yeah…baby…God, yes…he's coming down this row." I pressed on his perineum with my thumb as I continued to move the plug while he fucked my mouth, and within a few more strokes of his hips, he was shooting off down my throat while I swallowed around him, him pounding his left hand on the steering wheel as he moaned and groaned.

When he stopped throbbing, I quickly sat up in my seat and smoothed my hair back, looking as innocent as anything when the guard walked by our car, glancing in the window. When he moved passed us, Edward checked the side view mirror while he pulled up his jeans and buttoned them before he lifted his seat into the proper position.

He turned on the accessories in the car and flipped the windshield wipers to clear the snow obstructing our view. I was watching him, taking in the pink flush of his cheeks and his attempts to calm his breathing. He finally looked at me and smiled. "That was a hell of a surprise, Jasper. I hope you've got more like that up your sleeve. One of these days, I'll return the favor and we'll see just how well you can drive when I've got your cock in my mouth." The visual of it…oh, that would get me through more than one lonely night in Forks over the holidays.

"I gladly await your torture, Mr. Cullen. Now, it appears everyone is starting their cars. Maybe we need a little heat in here, though I'm pretty hot and hard right now, so as soon as we get into the cottage, drop the bags by the door, walk over to the nearest flat surface, and drop those jeans. After last night, I suddenly have the desire to fuck you while you're bent over something. Look," I taunted as I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a condom and a single pack of lube, "great minds think alike."

"Fuck, I love it when you're like this. Maybe you wanna spank me for the other day when I beat you at the pool? You seem to think I cheated somehow," he taunted, referring to Tuesday morning when he and I raced just as we were finishing up our swim. I still think he cheated, but I'd never be able to prove it. Maybe a good spanking was in order.

"Oh, gladly." It was shaping up to be quite a nice weekend.

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_**Oh, the boys are having a bit of fun. I love the lighter side of them. Lemme hear from ya!**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing. I truly appreciate your thoughts. We're at the cottage now. Let's see what these two are up to…**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

32. The Ability to See the Future

##

"This place is great," I announced as we walked down the short hallway to place our bags in the bedroom.

"I found it on the internet. I thought it looked pretty cool, and we can open the shutters to watch the water, or snow, if we want. There's actually a heater and a grill out back, so we can cook those steaks tomorrow night. I pre-ordered dinner for us tonight, and it'll be delivered around seven," he explained as I opened the door and walked out onto the wrap around deck, looking out at the waves in front of me. He walked up behind me and coughed, his way of letting me know he was there. I took his hands and wrapped them around my waist, holding them there as I shifted back into his warm body.

"Thanks for putting me on the right path, Mr. Whitlock. I'll never try to cheat again," he teased as he kissed my shoulder over the bite mark through my shirt. For once, I didn't even jump. I was proud of myself.

_When we'd arrived at the cottage, he dropped the groceries on the small counter, took off his pants, and bent over the back of a brown leather couch. I saw the butt plug…it was pink, but I didn't judge…and I spanked him five times while it was still inside him. After I finished, I removed it and proceeded to fuck him hard. Since there wasn't another house nearby, I told him to let me hear him, and he truly did._

"See that you don't, gorgeous. We better put the groceries away. Also, we should get the gifts out of the car. Hungry?" I asked. We'd bought pre-made sandwiches for lunch, and well, I was fucking starving.

We walked back inside and as I closed the deck door, my stomach rumbled. He laughed. "I'd say it doesn't matter if I am or not. You must be starving." _Yeah, I was. I'd worked up quite an appetite._

"Behave yourself," I teased as I walked back down the hallway and out the front door to the car, noticing it was snowing a bit harder. A part of me really wished we'd get snowed in there to spend the holidays together, but part of me missed my mom. I wasn't sure which part I wanted to win the war.

I walked back inside with the two bags of gifts we had for each other, and the gift I had for Carlisle and Esme. It was a photo of Mt. Rainier I'd bought at the student art show. I'd had it framed, and hoped it reminded them of their time in Forks. Esme had mentioned that she and Carlisle had rented a cabin there one weekend and loved it, so I hoped it would mean something to them.

I placed the bags under the small tree in the corner, seeing boxes of ornaments off to the side. I was actually looking forward to decorating the little tree, even though it wasn't ours. Momma had already decorated ours at home, and Edward's family would be decorating theirs on Christmas Eve. I wouldn't be there, but being able to do something so normal with the man I loved was quite appealing.

I walked back to where he was working away in the kitchen, seeing him pulling out the small box lunches we'd purchased and plating them. He turned to look at me with a bright smile. "What would you like to drink? We've got beer, soda, water, and lemonade. I'm having a soda."

"Soda's fine, thanks." I sat down at the counter and pulled the bag of chips we'd agreed upon to open them. As I watched him load two glasses with ice and place them on the counter in front of us, I had a glimpse of something I really wanted for the rest of my fucking life. I was going to be nineteen after the holidays, and I knew I was young and naïve, though I was trying to become worldlier. It was far too soon to have thoughts of the future…long-term…but there I sat having them just the same.

_Me, coming home from a long shift at the station…a police station…and depositing my service revolver in a lock box we'd keep in the front hall closet. Him, standing in the kitchen in his suit from a long day at the office, perusing what we had in the fridge for a quick dinner. Me, walking up behind him and wrapping my arms around him as he was bent over with that gorgeous ass presented to me I couldn't resist, so I rubbed up against it, giving him an indication of where my mind was for after dinner. Him, cracking his head on the top of the fridge because he didn't hear me come in and I'd surprised him. Me, kissing the bump and volunteering to make dinner for him instead. It was so real in my head I could reach out and touch it._

_Snap! Snap! _"Jasper, love, are sugar plums dancing through your head?" Edward teased.

I turned to look at him, seeing the bright smile as he opened my soda and poured it over the ice for me. "I'm curious. Where do you see us going?" Why I'd asked the question wasn't a mystery, but my fucking timing certainly was. We'd only been together since Thanksgiving, officially, and we'd dealt with a lot of shit, still waist deep in it as we sat there.

He took a bite of his turkey club and looked at me, his face full of curiosity. _No shit, dumbass. The question was completely out of left field. Take a fucking deep breath and try not to scare the man._

"You know, forget I asked. I was just, um, being sentimental. You know, because of the holidays and all," I offered as the lamest excuse known to man.

He took a sip of his soda and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "No, I'll answer. Short-term, I see us popping in the movie, taking a nap on the couch, and then enjoying a very nice weekend where we both get some fodder for the spank bank so we can get through the next month being apart…which is really going to fucking suck."

I smiled. "I agree one-hundred percent, but we can Skype, text, and call each other, right?" I asked, not missing the whiney tone in my voice. _So not cool._

"Definitely. I'm going to expect to ring in the New Year with you, love. I'd say both of us in our individual beds, naked and having phone sex. If we can't be together, that would start the year off as best as it could, right?"

"It's a date. I'm praying next year is a lot better than this year. When does your internship start?" I asked. I knew it was for some finance company, and he'd tried to explain it to me, but me not being a numbers guy, well, I didn't get it at all.

"Actually, it starts the week before school. That's not going to fuck things up for you, coming back a week early, is it? I can do without my car for a week if you need to be in Forks with your mom," he offered. I smiled because I'd successfully changed the subject.

"God, no. I actually start at the bookstore that week. Unfortunately, I can't get back in my dorm until the weekend before classes, so I might need a place to stay. I've applied for a room at Alder, but they're pretty full up over the holidays, so I'm on a waiting list," I told him.

His eyes shot open, and his face morphed into a scowl. "You should have told me that, Jasper. Of course, you're not staying at Alder Hall. I hadn't even considered when you'd go back to work. We need to talk about things like this," he chastised.

We did, but most of the time when we started talking about something we ended up in some state of undress with something of someone's in a mouth or…Edward's ass. _Hey, we're still in the honeymoon phase._

"Yeah, I know, but when you start talking, I start watching your mouth, and well, you know what happens from there," I teased, feeling my cock beginning to stir, the horny bastard.

Edward chuckled. "Yes, we do tend to get carried away, don't we? Anyway, you can stay with me. Emmett spoke with Heidi's parents, and they're going to send for her things over the break. If I'd just waited to move, it would have been a lot easier."

We'd switched his and Heidi's rooms and it had been a pain in the ass. In hind sight, it would have been better to wait, but the fact Heidi the Whore wasn't coming back, yeah, I didn't hate the news so I was enthusiastic about helping him switch rooms.

"Well, if we all had the ability to see the future, a lot of things would be different, wouldn't they?" I replied. He looked down and placed his sandwich on his plate, and I knew I'd said the wrong thing immediately. I wanted to fix it quickly, so as not to taint the weekend with anything negative.

"Now, none of that. After we eat, I'll give _you_ a massage. I believe one of my new massage oils is supposed to dissolve my lover's inhibitions and arouse dormant passions. I'd say we give it a consumer test and report back to the company regarding their claims."

He laughed. "I don't know how much further my inhibitions could be dissolved, but hey, I'm certainly game for anything. Unfortunately, the thorough pounding you gave my ass earlier might take me out of the ring for that sort of activity later. I'm sure we can think of something else to test my dormant passions," he offered.

I remembered something I'd read on the internet, and hell, it sounded like the perfect time to try it. "I might have a few ideas that wouldn't entail pounding of any kind. It might be a little outside your comfort zone, but if you don't like it, then I'll stop immediately," I promised.

"Finish up. I'm thoroughly intrigued." I winked at him in agreement and finished my ham and Swiss, volunteering to clean up the mess while he went back to the bedroom and got undressed.

I turned off the kitchen light and turned on the Christmas lights, even though it was still daylight. The lights gave the living room area a very warm glow, and I loved it. I walked back to the bedroom, seeing the gorgeous body of the gorgeous man I loved on full display. He'd pulled the covers down and was on his stomach on the grey sheet with a dark grey towel under him. His head was at the foot of the bed, and he was watching the flames of a gas fireplace I'd neglected to notice when I first came into the room. There was a view of the beach, the snow, and the fireplace. It was too fucking perfect.

I walked over to the docking station on the dresser, noticing the mirror reflected him on the bed. Oh, that was a plus I hadn't counted on. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and cued up a playlist of songs I really wanted to hear while I did dirty things to him. I'd made it during study breaks for finals, and it was time to unleash it on him. Robin Thicke began quietly singing as I stood at the end of the bed and stripped slowly in front of him, seeing him lick his lips.

I walked to the side of the bed and saw the bottle of massage oil, _Pleasure Garden,_ sitting on top of it. I grabbed it and climbed on bed, straddling his hips. "I love you," I whispered against the skin of his back as my tongue danced across it. There was a bit of a salty taste to his skin, which was from our earlier fucking, and it brought a smile to my face as I remembered it. He'd cleaned up after, but he hadn't showered. It was quite enticing.

"I love you, too, Jasper," he whispered as I continued to kiss him everywhere I could without moving from astride him.

I reached for the bottle of oil and squeezed it on my hands. It had the most incredible spicy scent, and coupled with Edward's natural scent, I knew it was going to test my control. _Oh, God, it was going to test my control._

I began massaging his shoulders, just as he done to me, and the satisfying "hmmm" made me happy. "So, how many classes do you have next semester?" I asked quietly, not to break the mood, but to try to keep things from escalating too quickly.

"Only my senior projects. I was approved to take two classes for my masters because I took summer classes at UCLA and transferred the credits." That was something I didn't know. There was a lot about him I didn't know.

"Why didn't you go to UCLA? You'd have been closer to Carlisle and Esme."

He half turned to look at me and smiled. "For reasons unknown to me at the time, I was meant to go to school here. I have a few new theories as to why, but I'm not going to question "why" any longer. I have a job I'm looking forward to starting, and I've met the most incredible guy in the world, so I have to believe the universe was looking out for me. Everything before meeting you again led me to you.

"You asked me earlier," he began as I directed him to turn back to the fireplace. I couldn't look into his face and have him give me some sort of promise for the future he might not be able to honor.

I moved back to massaging his shoulders, but he didn't shut up. "You asked me where I saw us going, and then you changed the subject. I'd like to answer that question, love."

I froze with my hands in the middle of his back. He squirmed a bit, and I continued my kneading of his muscles, hearing more moaning and appreciative groaning. "Edward, you don't need to make promises to me. I'm an idealistic kid, you know. We eighteen year-old-girls fall in love all the time," I tried to deflect.

He turned around again, and he didn't look happy at all. He bucked up his ass and when I lifted off him, he flipped onto his back, pulling my slick hands onto his defined chest, holding them there by my wrists. I did the best I could not to move, but before I could pull away, he moved down to hold my hands. "I'm sorry. I forgot.

"Listen to me, Jasper Whitlock. I'm closer to a girl than you, so get that straight. Maybe you fall in love all the time, but I…do…not. Yes, you're eighteen, and under any other circumstances, I'd be far more cautious because I'd never want to break your heart. You, however, aren't the typical eighteen year-old guy. You're far more mature than other guys your age. Fuck, you're far more mature than guys _my_ age.

"So, taking that into account, I'll tell you this. We won't have a fairytale life, but we _will_ have a happily ever after, Jasper. There's a reason we're both here, at this point in our lives. Did I think I'd fall in love with a guy I met years ago when I was his swim coach? Fuck, no. Did it happen? Oh, it did and in a big way. Get used to it, love. I won't go down easily."

Well, he might not, but after what he said, _I did_. I went all the way down, and apparently, I'd been able to give him another first…my tongue in his ass. I was quite proud of myself.

\\\

_**Goodness…our Jasper is a little crass, but he loves him some Edward. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**Thank you for your reviews. This is short…I know, but it needed to…well, you know the drill. Rita, darlin', thank you for pointing out the error in Chapter 1. I swear I read it several times, and to this day, I have no idea what happened, but I corrected it. I appreciate your diligence. SK**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrowed.**_

_**\\\**_

33. Rising from Ashes

##

"I still think that should hang lower," Edward complained as we lay on the couch in the living room. We'd decorated the tree the night before after he was able to move again. Apparently, my tongue and his ass…well, inside his ass…took him out more than anything I'd done to him up to that point. I almost laughed as I remembered him squealing when he spilled on his chest. It was a pretty good afternoon, if I said so myself.

"Babe, if it was lower, it would tip the tree. Right there in the middle is where it should be. It's ugly as hell, anyway," I complained. The ornaments left a lot to be desired, but I did appreciate decorating the tree with the mulled wine Edward made. It was an incredible experience.

"So, when do you want to open gifts?" he asked. He was like a kid, and he was anxious to get to the loot. I wanted to do it after I made him dinner, but I could see his patience was waning.

I sighed. "If you wanna do it now, we can, but…I insist we save one gift each to take home with us and open on Christmas. I want to feel like you're with me, even if it's just through a gift."

He hopped up from the couch and hurried over to the tree, pulling gifts out from the bag he'd brought. I hauled up my lazy ass and went to sit next to him on the floor, pulling his gifts out of the bag I'd brought. I put the gift for his parents to the side, and I saw him do the same with two gifts. He shoved a stack over to me, and I was embarrassed that the gifts I had for him were far fewer.

"I, uh, take back half of this," I demanded.

He laughed. "Nope. I actually bought those gifts with money I made from tutoring, and you're going to graciously accept them. Don't hurt my feelings," he ordered in response.

I couldn't hurt his feelings, so I waited for him to look at me. "Where should I start?" I asked.

He pointed to a tower of several boxes of the same size, and I grabbed them, opening them without any consideration of the wrapping, though I did notice they looked a lot nicer than mine. I ripped off the lid of the first box, seeing there were button-fly jeans in it. I laughed. When I opened the other two boxes, I saw two more pair. "Well, you suggested them, so I'm guessing I won't find boxers in any of these."

Edward laughed. "No, love, not a boxer in the place. I like you commando when I can get you that way. With those jeans, well, that gives me a lot of opportunity." He actually fucking winked at me, the sexy bastard.

I continued to open, finding two gorgeous cashmere sweaters and a robe he declared I'd keep at his place. There was a gift certificate to a restaurant we'd talked about. It was southern cuisine, and it was definitely out of my price range, but the gift certificate was enough for both of us. "Well, clearly, we'll be enjoying this together." He smiled and when I kissed him in thanks, he hesitated to let me go.

He settled back and picked up a package I was worried about. "Okay, before you open that, please understand, I'm not very familiar with the world of finance, but it sounded interesting."

He nodded and then tore into it. He held up the paperback and smiled. "Jasper, this is one I've wanted to read. Thank you so much." It was entitled, "_The Richest Man in Babylon_," and it was about a man who seemed to have the secrets of wealth and happiness. I didn't get it much except that the richest man in Babylon was not only wealthy in pocket, but wealthy in spirit and love. I thought it was something he'd like, so I bought it.

I also bought him the first James Bond film in which Sean Connery starred, "_Dr. No."_ I planned to buy him the other six, but I started with the first one. "Thank you, love. I've only seen this one a couple of times, but we can watch it when we get back to school."

The next gift was a subscription to the _Wall Street Journal On-line,_ because really, if he was set to become a high-powered financier, he should read the paper. He laughed. "I feel very privileged to have my own subscription. Thank you."

When he picked up the last gift, I stilled his hand. "Take that one with you to LA. Open that one on Christmas."

"You have no idea how hard it's going to be for me to wait, but I will. I love my gifts, Jasper. They're amazing. Thank you so much," he stated quietly before he pushed me down on my back on the thick rug next to the tree.

"I sent your last Christmas gift to your mother's house, thinking the same thing as you. I wanted you to have something of me there, and I didn't trust myself not to push you to open it tonight. Momma assured me she'd give it to you on Christmas."

He kissed me gently, and it was so fucking perfect, I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I wasn't going to puss out on him and cry because honestly, I'd done that a few times, but when a moment is as pure and joyful as that one, it was hard not to get emotional.

After we kissed, I pushed him back a little. "Another of my gifts is to cook you dinner, so how do you like your steak?"

He climbed off of me and we went to the kitchen. We sat out on the deck enjoying a nice bottle of red wine while I cooked our steaks and the potatoes baked in the oven. After dinner, I made a nice bath for us, and when we went to bed, I made love to him like it was the first time. It was perfect, and as we settled into sleep, I counted my blessings, and I prayed I'd never lose him. At that point, I didn't know what I'd do without him.

##

"Hey, I love you, and next year, we'll work this shit out better, okay?" Edward asked as we stood at security. I'd insisted on parking and walking him inside the airport, and after he'd checked his bag, the only thing left was the good-bye, which was fucking awful.

"If you slip into Mr. Slick-California-Guy, please lose _him_ before you get back to school. I hate that guy," I told him as I held him close, looking into those soulful green eyes which captivated me.

"I'll be spending my holiday with Kate and her newest boyfriend, and do you think Esme, your biggest fan, is going to be happy if I go out with my former friends? I'm going to be working on my senior project and missing you, love. I'll be quite pathetic to be around. Any ideas about that tattoo? I can give Katie a head's up and start her thinking about it."

I had actually thought about it, and I knew it was in the future before I'd be able to get one because it would likely be expensive, but I knew what I wanted. "I want a bird of some sort. Wings could cover it, and maybe its head sweeping up over my shoulder to cover the bite mark. I don't know. That's just what I thought about," I stated, feeling foolish.

"So, maybe a phoenix rising from the ashes?" he suggested. Hell, that sounded great to me. I hadn't even considered it but it summed things up pretty clearly.

"Yeah. As colorful as she can make it. Maybe the flames at my lower back, and then the phoenix rising up, but it should be just black. Anything around it can be colorful, but the bird itself should be without color. Things are black and white now, and that's how I want it. You think she can do it?" I asked as I held him next to me, reluctant to let him go though I knew I had to sooner than I'd have liked.

"I'll work on it with her, and if she comes up with something, I'll send it to you. I love you, Jasper Whitlock. Don't you dare take this time apart and work yourself into a frenzy that we won't work out. I know you, and if that shit starts to crawl into that beautiful mind of yours, you call me and I'll set you straight.

"It's only a short time we'll be away from each other, so don't you start thinking too much. I love you. If you doubt it, you call me and I'll tell you dirty things until those thoughts just disappear." He leaned forward and kissed me again. It was a kiss that let me know he meant everything he'd said, and I believed him.

"Gotcha, Boss. Kiss your mom and hug your dad. Tell them I miss them. I'll pick you up when you come back. Stay safe, ya hear?" I told him as I loosened my hold on him. He nodded and gave me that crooked grin before he went through security. One last wave before he was out of eyesight, and then he was gone.

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_**I know…short. But it was sweet, right? Big things are coming.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**Hello! I'm sorry I missed last night and the night before, but RL is a bitch. Anyway, here's the next chapter, and thank you, Rita, for your review on "Rob Attack." I loved the graphics. Incredible!**_

_**SMeyer owns…I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

34. Turning Point

##

"JJ!" I heard shouted up the stairs of my mother's home. It wasn't a welcome interruption because I was thinking about Edward, and my cock was just getting hard. I wanted to rub one out because I'd be away from him far too long, but when I was reminded where I was, I remembered how I ended up at home.

_I'd swung by the campus and picked up Brady because he'd texted that his ride fell through, so after I went into his house to greet his parents, I ended up getting home much later than I'd anticipated. Mom and I had sandwiches, and I was exhausted, so after a quick shower and a call with Edward once he landed in LA, I went to bed._

I turned to see it was eight in the morning on Christmas Eve, and I really didn't want to get up, but she sounded insistent. "Comin'," I yelled back, putting thoughts of my boyfriend out of my head and willing my cock to deflate.

I got up and changed out of my pajama pants into jeans and a sweatshirt of Edward's I'd managed to cabbage onto. It was one he loved, and I'd snuck it out of his suitcase at the cottage, but I'd replaced it with one of mine, so maybe he wouldn't be too pissed about it.

I hurried downstairs in sock feet, nearly busting my ass on the stairs, and when I walked into the kitchen, I was surprised to see Charlie Swan sitting there with a cup of coffee, looking quite at home in my mother's kitchen. She was dressed unlike I'd ever seen her before, even in full make-up at that early hour, and I wondered if something was up I didn't know about.

"Momma? Chief? What's up?" I asked as I sat down at the table across from him.

"Jasper, it's good to see you again." I could tell Charlie was stalling, and I didn't like it. Something was definitely up.

"I'll be better if you tell me what you're doing here on Christmas Eve morning."

"Charles, just tell him." I looked at my mother and saw her staring at him with a look I didn't know. _Charles? Seriously?_

"Okay, Lilly. Jasper, I'm going to Vicksburg next week, and I'd like you to go with me. I got the Chief down there trying to get a court order to unseal the juvenile records of your attacker. It seems James Turner's juvenile record is a bit more extensive than anyone knew, but, the reason he showed up in NCIC is because of a charge of sexual assault."

I looked between him and my mom. She sat down at the table and took my hand. I knew it wasn't going to be good news, so I braced myself. "Against who? Did the charges…what happened?" I asked eagerly.

"From what I've been able to find out, and it's sketchy, trust me, he was brought up on charges of sexual assault by an eighteen year-old-girl. The charges ended up being dropped because the girl has a history of mental illness, and he alleged she took advantage of him. He said she took advantage of him and when she figured out she'd face charges, she came up with false charges.

"Hell, it seems even her own parents didn't believe her and had her committed after she reported the assault. I think there's more to it, and apparently, the cops down there do to, but without her able to pursue the charges, he got away. He was fifteen at the time."

"Did she go to the hospital? Did anyone examine her?" I asked, craving the information and holding my anger at bay. If she'd been assaulted and nobody took her seriously, then they were to blame that the fucker was walking around free. The fucker who attacked me.

"From what Chief Taylor told me, she _did_ report it. The hospital personnel ran the procedures, but his defense attorney claimed she'd seduced him, and he was a minor. There was evidence of penetration, but her parents testified in the evidentiary hearing she wasn't mentally stable, so the charges weren't pursued. He walked away, and she was committed because she wouldn't let it go. Her parents made her a ward of the state of Mississippi, and she was just left to rot in an asylum."

I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I didn't care how crazy they thought the young woman to be. If she was assaulted, and I believed it to be the case, she deserved to have someone take her seriously. I would take her seriously and go with her to hell if that was what it took to get someone to listen.

"When do we leave?" I asked. There was no hesitation in my mind. Before that fuck did anything to anyone I care about, namely, my Edward, I'd see him behind bars or dead.

"That's the thing, JJ. Um, Edward's gift…well, it's so sweet." I looked at Momma and cocked an eyebrow.

"I can guarantee you anything he gave me can wait until this business is behind us. Give it to me and I'll call him. He'll understand, Momma."

She rose from the table after Charlie nodded. She came back with a box wrapped in familiar paper. I smiled as I tore into it. There was a note and an envelope. I opened the envelope, seeing roundtrip tickets from Port Angeles to San Francisco for New Year's Eve. I opened the note, though I hated to in front of Charlie and my mother.

_Love,_

_I talked to Momma about this, and she's agreed to release you for a few days so we could ring in the New Year together. I'll be waiting for you. Look for a man with a sign that reads "Whitlock" when you clear security. He'll bring you to the hotel, and we'll celebrate together._

_I love you, and I'll miss you, but the idea of being able to spend New Year's with you will keep me from losing my mind._

_Merry Christmas, Jasper. I'll see you in six days. I'm counting the minutes._

_All my love,_

_Edward_

I folded it and put it back in the envelope with the ticket. I looked at the two of them, and I swallowed hard. "Will Chief Taylor be able to get us in to see her?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure he will. We can leave on the twenty-eighth and hopefully, see her on the twenty-ninth. The reason this will mess with your trip is because Chief Taylor is going to file new charges if things go well, and he's going to apply for extradition for Turner from Washington to Mississippi. That is, after he's arrested in Washington.

"Turner, as far as I've been able to ascertain, is still in Seattle. If you appear as a material witness to back up her claim you were assaulted as well, I believe we can get the evidence you supplied admitted in support of her case.

"They'll be able to get DNA on him based on the young lady's case if we can get anyone to believe the girl. I don't know if we can get Turner to give up DuBois, but maybe we can, and then Turner can stand trial twice, and we can get DuBois in the process. It's up to you, Jasper."

There was only one thing to do, and my ass was going to be on a plane. It wouldn't be heading to a posh hotel in San Francisco to spend the time with the love of my life, because if there was a way to get the bastard, I was on board.

##

"He'll be back. He went to break up a domestic violence dispute. The Whitleys are fightin' again. I swear it's just like clockwork. Can I get you boys somethin' to drink? The coffee's awful, but it's strong," the dispatcher, Betty, offered as we stood at the front desk of the Vicksburg Police Department.

"We're fine, ma'am," Charlie told her. We took seats in plastic chairs, and I picked up a magazine to look like I had something to do. I was thinking about the Skype I'd had on Christmas with Edward when I told him I couldn't come to San Francisco.

"_Babe, thank you for your gift. I'd love to be able to do it, but something's come up and I can't exactly get away. I need to be here to help Momma out with some stuff at the house, and the guy can only do it now. She can't take time off, so, um, I need to be here. We can do it again some other time, right?"_

_He looked heartbroken, but he bucked up and gave me half a smile. "Okay. If you need to help Momma, then you help Momma. We can plan it another time." He was smiling, but I could see it was fake._

_I felt so horrible for lying to him, but I had to push forward. "Of course, babe. I'm so sorry for fucking up your plans. I'll make it up to you, I promise."_

"_Hey, we'll have many New Year's to take the trip. You do what you have to do. I'll talk to you later, okay? I love you." He quickly ended the call before he heard my response, "I love you, too."_

"Betty, any calls?" I heard which brought me out of my head. There stood a huge African-American man who had an easy smile. He was about my height, but damn, that man could likely pick up a car.

"Chief, those boys are waitin' for ya. They've been sittin' a spell," she stated.

He turned to us and Charlie hopped up. "Chief Taylor? I'm Chief Swan. We've spoken a few times. This is Jasper Whitlock," Charlie introduced, pulling me to my feet.

"Sir," I greeted as I extended my hand.

"Good to meet ya. Let's take this into my office." We all nodded and followed the man to his little office. He closed the door and took off his coat, hanging it on a coat rack.

"Have a seat," he offered. Charlie and I sat down, obviously waiting for something, though I didn't know what.

Chief Taylor reached into a drawer and pulled out a file, flipping it open on his desk. He looked it over and flipped some pages, and then he looked up at us. "So, Mr. Whitlock, tell me what business you had with James Turner."

"Well, sir, he was my roommate at the beginning of the term. I'm a freshman at the University of Washington in Seattle, and he was assigned to my room. We didn't hit it off so well in the beginning…"

I gave him the story of meeting the prick, him puking on the floor that first night. I told him what happened in the shower room that first time, and I finally told him about Halloween night. I didn't cry, for the first time, because I had no more emotion over it. It was simply an exchange of information because I was interested in what he had to offer about the girl who had lodged the same accusations. He simply nodded and made notes on a legal pad.

When I finished, I saw he had no emotion on his face. I looked at Charlie, and he placed his hand on my shoulder, leaning to whisper, "Jasper, show him your back, son. I wouldn't ask you to do it if it wasn't important. Lilly knows nothing about that scar, I swear, but the chief needs to see it."

When he pulled away, he squeezed my forearm. I looked at the man and swallowed. "He, um, he left a little memento of his assault." I stood from the chair, untucked my shirt and slipped it off, handing it to Charlie. I pulled up the undershirt and stood there in front of a stranger, baring the heinous scars. I fought the tears but when I heard the gasp, I quickly lowered my shirt and turned around.

"That mother fucker." He whispered before picking up the phone. Charlie took my hand, pulling me down next to him and handing me my shirt. I crumpled it up on my lap and watched with surprise as Chief Taylor got to work.

"Judge Carlson, please, Wanda. It's Chief Taylor, and I'll hold. It's important."

He hung the phone down and looked at me. "Son, you want a soda or somethin'? You look a little pale."

I could only nod. He rose from the desk and knocked on the window. When the woman looked up, he motioned for her to come in. She hurried inside, and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Get this young man a Coke. Charlie?"

"Yeah, make it two."

She hurried away and came back quickly, handing them to us. We thanked her and I quickly opened mine, taking an eager sip.

"Your Honor, how are ya, sir? Merry Christmas," the Chief greeted.

"It's good to hear your family's here for the holidays. I hate to bother ya when the Court is in recess, but I need an order signed tonight so it can be executed tomorrow. It's a cold case, and new evidence has been presented, but I need to speak with a potential witness who's a ward of the state. I need your help for that. It's a sexual assault, sir." After that, there was a lot of "yes, sir" and "I understand, Your Honor" in the conversation. When he hung up, he smiled.

"Mr. Whitlock, I truly hate to ask, but could I take a picture of your back? It's the lynchpin in this whole thing, and well, without it, I doubt the Judge will open the door for me, much less issue a court order he'll have to write himself."

I looked at Charlie and he nodded. I stood up, took off my shirt, and closed my eyes, thinking of my gorgeous boyfriend and what he might be doing at that moment. I put myself on that beach in California watching him surf. I was sure that was what he was doing.

_He was on the water where he was happy, and he was waiting for the next swell to come in. He was paddling, and when he found his wave, he was standing up and riding it all the way to the shallow water. He didn't fall off, he jumped, and he grabbed that surfboard and jogged up the beach to where I was waiting on a towel._

"Thanks, son. I'll call you later this evenin', Chief Swan." With that we were dismissed. I redressed and when I pulled on my t-shirt, I dried the tears on my face as I pulled it down my body. I didn't even know they were falling, and I wasn't particularly happy with anyone seeing them.

Charlie helped me put on my other shirt, and placed an arm around my shoulder as he steered me out to the waiting area. He handed me my jacket as he put on his coat. We both told Betty good-bye as we went out to the rental car.

We got in and sat on the parking lot for a moment. He turned to me and smiled. "You have your fake ID on ya?"

"Chief, I don't…"

"Oh, knock it off, JJ. I know Bella has one, so I'm sure you have one. I think we're gonna go back to the motel, get ourselves a cab, and then we're gonna go get drunk. I sure could use a few drinks, how about you?"

His cell went off, and he pulled it out, bursting into laughter at the text he was reading. "Well, it seems there's a change of plans. We'll find a store and then we'll go back to the motel. What's your room number?"

"One-oh-six," I told him, worried a little. He pulled into a gas station that sold beer, and he got out, motioning for me to follow him. He pushed me to the cold case and I grabbed a six pack of Budweiser. "I'd get a twelve if I were you. Better value." He grabbed a twelve of something else, and then a bottle of wine as we made our way to the cashier.

Charlie walked away as I was carded, and we went to the car. I guess it was a lot easier for him to pretend he wasn't aiding to the delinquency if he didn't exactly see it happen. After we got in, he turned to look at me. "Look, Jasper, I believe everything you've told me. I've sent all of the evidence to the crime lab in Seattle, and all they're waiting for is a sample from the suspects to match it against what they've collected from your things. They just needed your roommate's DNA to identify him. What we need is for the samples from this girl's case to match up with yours.

"The lab has some hair fibers from a few unknown sources we'll need to track down from your evidence, but there's enough evidence to proceed with charges. We just need to have more than an accusation from you, especially since you didn't actually see the culprits. It's not that I don't think we have enough evidence to go after him based on your case, but I'd sure like to have something to show he has a history of this type of behavior.

"The only thing I think the DA will have a problem with is whether or not it was consensual in your case. Don't get wound up about it yet. This young lady tomorrow, hopefully, she can give us what we need to put that piece of shit behind bars.

"I need you to stay strong and not let the fear of facing him if we go to trial intimidate you into not coming forward. We can, and will, put him away. I just need you to stay strong."

I chuckled darkly, thinking about the other demon I needed to exorcise before I was good enough for Edward. I needed to get it out of me, and if Charlie had a way to help me, I was all for it. "There's nothing I want more than to see him either behind bars or dead. I don't care which, and I'd be happy to be the one to put him in either position. If you've got something to go on, I won't question it. Just lead me to the water, Chief. I'll be happy to dive in."

He pulled up in front of the motel and turned off the motor. He turned to look at me and smiled. "I have no doubt, Jasper. I'll send you a text when I hear from Chief Taylor. Night, kiddo."

I hopped out of the car and took my twelve pack of beer to my room. I placed it on top of the fridge, deciding to take a shower before I got drunk.

Just before I stripped off my boxers, there was a knock on my door and I hoped it was a misguided person, not Bella's dad who wanted to talk more. We'd talked enough.

I pulled on a t-shirt and opened the door slowly. When I saw Edward standing there with a duffel bag and a smile, I couldn't do anything but pull him inside. The how? I didn't know but I had an inkling. The why? I didn't need anyone to tell me.

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_**I'd guess Jasper is in a bit of trouble! : D I'd love to hear from you!**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews of Chapter 34. I truly appreciate your thoughts and well wishes for my RL BS. **_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. I don't own that song either.**_

_**Let's get it on…**_

_**\\\**_

35. I Wanna See You Be Brave (Sarah Bareilles, copyrighted)

##

"Why, Mr. Cullen? What on earth brings you to Mississippi?"

"Mr. Whitlock, I found out my boyfriend was here, and hell, I've missed him so I came to see him. Is there a problem?"

I pulled him into my arms and kissed him, sweeping my eager tongue over his gorgeous mouth. When his came out to play, I closed my eyes and I just breathed. He was there. He was more than I could put into words, and he knew I needed him. Yeah, we were going to have our ups and downs, but in that perfect moment, Edward knew I needed him.

When I pulled away and closed the door, I saw he was actually pissed, and I wanted to laugh, but that would only piss him off more. "Go ahead. Give it to me."

"You go off to fucking Mississippi to…do you know I'd have never…if it wasn't for Lilly, I'd have never… What the fuck, Jasper? I could beat your ass for this. You straight-out lied to me."

I wanted to laugh, but I knew better. "Edward, I didn't really have a lot of notice on this, and I didn't want to get your hopes up. Come take a shower with me and then we can talk." It was true, but yeah, it was lame.

He paced the room and pulled his hair, clearly pissed. "You were going to shower, so go. I can't talk to you right now. I need to calm the fuck down," he snapped as he grabbed the beer and ripped open the carton. He began loading the fridge in my room, so I did as he said. I climbed into the shower and I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm water washing over me. I had no fucking idea what the next day would bring, but Edward was there, even if he was pissed. With him, I could survive anything. That much I knew.

##

I heard the television in the bedroom, and I hoped he'd calmed down some. I opened the door and waved a white hotel towel into the room in surrender, hearing him laugh. "Come out, love."

I secured the towel around my waist and walked out, seeing him still dressed, save his shoes. He was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard with a beer. His gaze ran over my mostly naked body, and he gulped. "Put your clothes on, Whitlock. We're going to have a serious discussion, and I can't do it with you dressed in a towel."

_Okay, no problem._ I dropped the towel.

Of course, I was hard because he was in the room, and his eyes grew wide before he slammed them closed. I chuckled a bit. "Hey, the towel bothered you, so I got rid of it. Now, what do you want to talk about?" I asked as I walked to the little fridge and grabbed myself a beer.

I could see he was getting wound up, and as cute as he was when he got going, I knew we needed to talk about something serious…I'd lied to him and for him, it was a deal breaker. I didn't want to lose him, but I felt I had a legitimate reason for not telling him the truth. Whether he'd see it that way, I didn't know.

I walked to my bag and pulled out a pair of pajama pants and a wife beater, slipping them on. I picked up my beer from the dresser and climbed on the bed to face him. "I'm sorry, babe. I know I shouldn't have teased you, and as soon as the blood begins to recirculate to your brain, we can talk." I nodded toward his impressive erection hidden under his jeans and watched as he palmed it a little.

He took a deep breath and let it out, looking into my eyes. "Why did you lie to me?"

It was my turn for a deep breath, and I let it out slowly. "Okay. When Charlie showed up on Christmas Eve and told me about the possibility I wasn't the only person who Turner had attacked, I got pissed. Apparently, there's a young woman here who's your age by now. She's in a mental institution, but she claims, three years ago, she was raped by James Turner. Nobody believed her. They thought she made it up because she seduced him and she was trying to stay out of jail. Her parents institutionalized her because she wouldn't let it go. The allegations were swept under the rug because Turner was a minor at the time.

"Charlie's spoken with the Chief-of-Police here, and he deemed it was worth the two of us coming down to talk with her. If her claim is true, it could be used to get DNA from Turner. I don't know why me being here has any bearing on her case, but Chief Taylor seems to believe I'd provide something that could be used to help her case. He's getting a court order for us to go talk to the girl tomorrow.

"I didn't tell you because if this doesn't work out, you'll be disappointed, and I know you'll try something when we get back to school to get Turner to make a move on you. I'm trying to do this the right way without you or me getting hurt in any way. I'm sorry I lied, but I love you and want to spare you some of the bullshit, Edward," I explained.

He looked down at the white sheets and reached for my hand. "Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Because, I was afraid you'd do exactly what you did. You'd jump on an airplane and come here. How'd you even know where I was?"

"My mom and dad got tired of watching me mope around after you told me you couldn't come to San Fran, so they suggested I cash in our tickets and come to Forks to be with you. Imagine my surprise when I showed up at your mom's house and she told me where you were. I immediately booked a flight to come here, and she insisted on coming with me. She told me she wasn't getting in the middle of things between us, but she was sorry she didn't come with you and Charlie in the first place," he explained.

"Momma's here? Where is she?" I asked, surprised she'd came with him. She hadn't even mentioned she was interested in coming.

"She, um, she went to Charlie's room. Apparently, they talk quite a lot, and he talked her out of coming in the first place, but when she found out I was coming, she decided she was coming along. Why would he talk her out of coming to support you?"

I thought about it, and the only thing I could come up with was related to something Charlie said earlier when we were at the police station. "I think he was trying to keep her from finding out about my back. He mentioned she didn't know about it when Chief Taylor took a picture of it earlier in the day to take to the Judge, so I think he was trying to respect my wishes regarding the scars."

It was then I thought about something else. "Hey, what did Emmett ever tell Jake about my back?"

"Actually, _I_ told Jake it wasn't something we talked about, and he said he respected your privacy. You know, Em would never tell anyone," he reminded. I actually did know that.

"Shit, I sort of told Eric because he overheard some of our discussion on the way back to school, and hell, who knows what Charlie asked him. Anyway, he threw his mattress away and ordered a new one. I guess I need to get all of our friends together and just tell them the fucking truth. I can only imagine what the hell they think," I complained.

He took my hand and pulled me over to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling my head to rest on his chest. He stroked my damp hair, and we were quiet together. My mind was running ninety miles an hour, trying to come up with a reason for him not to leave me.

"Edward, I'm sorry I lied to you, and I won't do it again, no matter what it is, okay? I was trying to protect you from disappointment if this doesn't end up coming to anything. I love you, and you already have so much shit to deal with when it comes to me. I didn't want this to be the one thing that tips the scale against me." I was being honest while trying to keep the begging to a minimum.

He turned and kissed my temple. "Please, I'm begging you, don't lie to me again. I'm pretty strong, you know. I can handle a lot more shit than most people give me credit. I love you, but I just can't tolerate lies."

I looked up at him and hoped he could tell I was sincere. "I won't, I promise. I love you, and I should have told you the truth. Are Esme and Carlisle…do they know you're here?"

He laughed. "No. I thought them showing up here, guns blazing, might be a bit much." I laughed with him.

I finished my beer and took his empty bottle as I climbed off the bed to grab us two more. We settled together and watched television for a while, not saying anything. Finally, we were both tired enough that we went to bed. We didn't fool around because I guess he was still a little pissed, but he let me hold him, and thankfully, I didn't have any bad dreams. That was a blessing.

##

The next morning, we got up, showered together, chastely, and got dressed. We went to Charlie's room and knocked on the door. When my mother opened it, I was shocked to shit. "Momma? What are _you_ doing in Charlie's room?"

"JJ, get that tone out of your voice. I'd guess I'm doing the same thing in Charles' room as you and Edward were doing in yours. _Sleeping_."

I glanced over her shoulder and saw two double beds, both of them unmade. Unfortunately, I had some experience with two beds in one room, and I knew that because they were both unmade it didn't necessarily mean both beds were slept in. I just couldn't think about it at the moment because there were too many other things on my mind.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

She scoffed. "I'm here to support my son. I know there are things you aren't telling me, and I won't push you right now, but I want the whole story, JJ. Now, you and Edward go get us a table at the diner. Charles is getting ready for the day, and we'll be down shortly. Chief Taylor called him last night and told him he had the order. We're supposed to meet him at the hospital at eleven."

I glanced at my phone and saw it was just nine-thirty, so we had a little time. I was hungry…fucking starving…having not eaten the night before. "Okay. Just…we'll be talking about _this_ soon as well," I stated, referring to the room situation.

She nodded and closed the door in our faces. I turned to Edward, the look of disbelief evident on my face, and when he laughed, I didn't like it. "What's so damn funny?"

"You are, love. If you couldn't see the attraction between the two of them, you're blinder than I thought. Come on. Let's do as the lady ordered. She's got a hell of a temper from what I've seen."

He took my hand and led me down the stairs. I was truly grateful my room was on the first floor at one end and Charlie's was on the second for at the other. I sure as shit didn't want to know what they were getting up to at night.

We took a booth in the diner and ordered four coffees. Edward sat down next to me, and I turned to look at him. "How do you know about my mom's temper?"

He chuckled. "Well, I saw it the weekend we were there and she had that party. Then, last night when we showed up, we went to Charlie's room first. He was pissed she was here, and he wasn't too damn thrilled I was here either, but she unloaded both barrels on him, reminding him she was your mother and she was entitled to be here to support her son.

"Then she said, 'Besides, you jackass, you can't be trusted to take care of yourself without me.' He laughed and let her in, telling me your room number before he shut the door in my face. I didn't ask any more questions, but I think maybe they've spent time together that neither you nor Bella know about."

That wasn't something I was prepared to consider because hell, Momma had always told me she'd had her one love and she wasn't looking for another. Every time I'd brought up her needing to date, she got pissed about it. Had she changed her mind?

I didn't have time to ponder anything because the two of them came in and sat down in the booth across from us. She picked up her menu, not looking at me, but Charlie was looking at me, and he was pretty fucking worried. "So, seems I'm not the only one who has some secrets," I accused as I looked at him, seeing his ears immediately turn red.

"JJ, stop it. It's none of your business," Momma stated as she continued to peruse the menu casually.

"Oh, it's very much my business, Miss Lillian. What's going on?" I asked. I ignored Edward's squeezing of my knee because I was getting to the bottom of it.

She slammed her menu on the table and let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. After you and Bella left for school, I was at the Thriftway buying groceries, and I ran into Charlie. We exchanged pleasantries, and when I looked in the basket he was carrying, I saw all he had was microwave stuff. I told him that wasn't any way to eat, and he told me he could only make breakfast, and he didn't think all those eggs were good for him. Bella told him to eat healthy since she wasn't there to cook for him, so he decided frozen dinners were the way to go.

"I told him to put that crap away, and I invited him for dinner. Since then, we've been having dinner together when I don't work nights, and when I do, I stop by his place and have breakfast. We didn't tell you and Bella because we didn't want the two of you to concentrate on anything other than your studies. It's not really anything formal, okay? It's nothing for you to worry about."

My eyes went wide. "So…_what_? You hook-up and then nothing else?" I didn't like the sound of that at all.

I saw her eyebrow rise, and I knew I was in trouble. "Jasper Josiah, do you want to talk about how you and Edward spend your time together?" I shook my head 'no', seeing no good coming of _that_ conversation.

"Well, then respect my privacy as well. Now, what's everyone eating?" she asked. Apparently, the conversation was over, and as we ate, I watched the two of them. I couldn't deny Charlie seemed to have some affection for my mother, and if he did, after he'd been so kind to me through the whole clusterfuck which had brought us to Mississippi, well, I wouldn't give him hell over it. I'd leave that to my bitchy sister.

##

"Chief, this is Lillian Whitlock, Jasper's mother, and his uh…" Charlie began, not certain what to say.

I laughed as I took Edward's hand and pulled him forward. "Chief Taylor, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Chief Taylor, Vicksburg Police." After Edward shook his hand, Chief Taylor led us inside the building. It looked as depressing as I imagined it would be. I pitied anyone locked up in that place.

Chief Taylor walked up to a window and greeted the nurse who was standing there. "Ma'am, I'm here to see Dr. Gerandy. I have a Court Order to see one of the patients."

She nodded and picked up the phone as the chief walked back over to where the four of us stood. "I'm sorry, but Mr. Cullen and Mrs. Whitlock will have to remain here. I'm not sure how long this will take. Do y'all want any coffee or anything?"

They both shook their heads. I took Edward's hand and led him off to the side. "When are you going back to California?"

He squeezed my hand, looking around to see the others in the room were deep in discussion. He leaned forward to whisper in my ear. "I don't have a return date yet. Let's see how this goes first, okay?" He discreetly kissed my neck and squeezed my hand.

I nodded as a door buzzed, and a doctor walked into the room. "Chief Taylor? I'm Dr. Gerandy. I understand you have a Court Order?" he asked.

Chief Taylor handed it to him, and he pulled down his glasses which were resting on his forehead, glancing through the two page document. He flipped them up again and looked around. "Who's Jasper Whitlock and who's Charles Swan?"

Charlie and I stepped forward. He looked at us and then looked at Momma and Edward, who was standing next to her with her arm hooked through his elbow as if he was escorting her. "Who are they?" the doctor asked.

"That's my mother and my boyfriend. They're fine to wait out here," I volunteered. He nodded and signaled to the nurse who pressed a button and then a large metal door opened with a buzz. He led us through it, and then another door opened after the first door closed.

Once we were inside, we were stopped by a security guard. After he took the Chief's cop stuff and wanded Charlie and me, he pressed yet another button to let us in. It was like a fucking prison, and I had no idea why the woman was in such a place.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked the doctor. He turned to look at me, giving me the once over. I could tell he'd already formed an opinion of me, and I didn't like it.

Apparently, Charlie picked up on it as well. "Yes, Doctor, what's the diagnosis?"

"Miss Brandon suffers from PPD." He looked at us expectantly, and he appeared to be surprised when none of us had a clue what the hell he was talking about. The fucker rolled his eyes and continued. "Paranoid Personality Disorder. She exhibits signs of constant paranoia and is suspicious and mistrusting of others. She believes everyone is out to get her, and she'll continue to observe you for signs that will validate those fears. She constantly believes there are threats against her whether there are or not.

"She's withdrawn, and she tends to hear voices in her head. She refuses to partake in therapy and I believe her to be schizophrenic. She is silent most of the time, and she'll perceive your presence as hostile. She's attempted suicide many times, so we have to keep her room sparsely furnished. She rarely agrees to come out of it, and without her meds to stabilize her, she becomes catatonic."

Charlie spoke next. "Are you telling us she won't talk to us? Is this visit all for nothing?"

"Remarkably, when I went to speak with her this morning and explained the visitors, she was looking forward to it. The voices in her head told her someone will finally rescue her. Please, don't give her a false sense of hope because when it doesn't pan out, we'll have to seek more invasive means of dealing with her, and I've been trying not to go down that road."

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"It means that we'll need to consider surgery in order to keep her from killing herself. She's resourceful in the ways in which she creates weapons to hurt herself. She's taken plastic utensils and made them into devices with which she can slice through her skin. Some of the cuts have been quite deep, and had we not installed a security camera in her room, there were times she'd have died.

"I don't envy you trying to talk to her, but maybe you can reach a part of her none of her physicians have been able to reach. You should know she doesn't trust men…any men…and really, not many women. There's one nurse who she'll tolerate, and the woman will be with her. Her name is Tanya, and I'll have to insist she stay in the room. Go in and have a seat. They'll bring _her_ in shortly," he ordered.

We sat down, and I looked around. There were bars on the windows, and the security we'd gone through? It wasn't a normal hospital…it was a maximum security prison.

I turned to Chief Taylor. "Why is there so much security?"

He sighed as he pulled out a large file from the briefcase he was allowed to bring in after it was thoroughly searched. "This place houses deadly criminals. It's a place for the criminally insane. Apparently, from what the former Chief of Police noted in the files, she tried to kill her parents. Instead of a trial, they had her committed here with his help. From what I found out, he was her uncle."

"Do you believe that's the truth?" I asked.

"Of course it's not. Look at me. I wouldn't hurt a fly…"

\\\

_***Ducking behind a brick wall* Well, we all knew Edward would be pissed, and many of you guessed about Charlie and Lilly. My audience is far too smart for me : )**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**Thank you for your reviews of last night's chapter, and I know I'm not good at cliffies because Alice was really the only major character missing, so yes, she's here.**_

_**FYI – Chief Taylor isn't her uncle…the man who held the office prior to him was her uncle. It'll all be explained as it plays out.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's meet Alice…**_

_**\\\**_

36. Alice…

##

"_Of course it's not. Look at me. I wouldn't hurt a fly…"_ we heard behind us as a very petite woman gracefully glided into the room. She was beautiful in an otherworldly way. Her skin was quite pale, but her hair was dark and short. She had huge grey eyes, and a bright smile. I couldn't imagine her hurting anything.

The woman with her was a tall strawberry-blonde bombshell. She eyed us all carefully before walking behind Alice over to the table and pulling out her chair. After she sat down, the woman walked over to the side and sat down, pulling out a magazine.

"I'm Mary Alice Brandon, but you may all call me Alice. I've been waiting for the three of you to show up." She looked at me pointedly. "Especially you."

I looked at the other two men and they both shrugged, so I extended my hand to greet her. "Alice, I'm Jasper. Why have you been waiting for me?"

She giggled innocently and looked around, seeing the nurse sitting off to the side, apparently engrossed in her magazine. She leaned forward and we all did the same for unknown reasons. "Because, you have the magical answers." I sat back, confused, but she had such a kind smile, I wasn't freaked out.

She turned to Charlie and Chief Taylor. "Well, aren't you going to introduce yourselves? That's the proper thing to do when you meet a lady."

They both introduced themselves and shook her tiny hand. She smiled brightly and looked down for a moment. I took in her appearance. She was wearing a pink turtleneck with black cotton pants. She had on ballet flats, and her hair was quite short. She looked all of fourteen, and my heart broke for her because the place in which she was stuck? It fucking sucked.

She turned to Chief Taylor and smiled. "What's this?" she asked as she pointed to the file in front of him.

He cleared his throat and clasped his hands over the top of the file, not opening it. "Miss Alice, we're here to talk about what happened to you on July 22, 2009. I know you've probably told this story a hundred times, but can you tell us what happened?"

She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, taking all of us in. "I've told that story to anyone who would listen, but nobody will believe me. Why should I tell you two?" she asked as she looked at Charlie and Chief Taylor.

I quickly deduced she didn't trust them, so I reached across the table and extended my hand. She placed her small one in mine and closed her eyes, smiling. "Oh, you're a good soul. I'll talk to you. Do you trust them?"

"I do. Just talk to _me_. Tell me what happened," I asked. For reasons unknown to me, she seemed to trust me. I was going to give her every reason to believe me, and I was going to figure out how to get her out of that horrid place. I knew in my soul she didn't belong there. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in the gentle touch. She had no more business in there than I did.

"I have to clear up a few other things first. I didn't set the house on fire. I told my daddy there was a gas leak. I told him that morning at breakfast, but he wouldn't listen. When the stove caught fire, I was outside because they wouldn't get up. After they got out, the police brought me here. I didn't even get to speak to a lawyer or a judge, for that matter. I didn't start the fire; I just dreamed it would start."

I looked at Chief Taylor, and he began flipping through the file. "There's nothing in here about a fire."

She giggled sweetly. "Of course not, silly. Uncle Mark wouldn't put that in a file. He said he was only protecting me, and well, they never investigated it because the crazy girl who hears voices had started the fire to prove a point. That's what they all said."

"Uncle Mark?" I asked.

"He was the Chief of Police before this good man got the job. Anyway, it's too late to prove it now, but I didn't start that fire. Now, regarding July 22, I didn't see it coming.

"See, I know things before they happen, but not always too long before they happen. That day, I was sitting in the yard making a daisy chain. The Turners lived down the road, and James would ride his bike by the house and call me names.

"Everyone in the neighborhood thought I was crazy because I knew things before they happened, and no one believed me when I tried to warn them. That day, James stopped and hopped off his bike, walking to the yard. He sat down next to me and began talking to me. It was all pleasant at first. He asked me to tell him his fortune, as if that was how it worked," she scoffed.

She turned to look at the nurse in the room and smiled. "Tanya, can you get these gentlemen some water?" The woman looked up and smiled.

"Will you be okay, Alice?"

"Oh, silly, I'm fine. Jasper, here, will protect me." She squeezed my hand and winked. The woman left the room and then Alice turned back to us.

"She's part of the reason I'm kept in solitary. She tells them I'm trying to hurt myself, but I'm not any longer. I used to cut myself because I couldn't tell anyone about the things I knew and be taken seriously, so I was frustrated and had to let it out somehow," she explained as she slipped up the arms on her sweater, showing us the thin scars which appeared to be almost silver-like in the noonday sun through the bar-covered windows.

I held the gasp inside and looked into her eyes. "So you used to cut yourself?"

I'd heard about that shit over the years, but I'd never met anyone who'd done it. It wasn't anything I'd ever encountered, and I tried to hide my shock. "Did it help?" I asked.

"Only for a short time, but I'm getting off track. Anyway, when I told James I knew he was up to no good, he got angry. I told him I knew what he was doing there, and I threatened to tell his mother if he didn't leave. I honestly knew it was the wrong thing to say, but I hoped, maybe for once, I'd be wrong. I wasn't."

She then went on to describe how he carried her behind a shed on their property and violated her, calling her his whore the whole time. She told us she'd never been with a man because she didn't think any man would want to be with someone crazy. Her parents had called her crazy all her life and she believed them, which made my heart break.

"I don't think you're crazy," I told her quietly.

She looked at me and smiled. "He didn't tie me up like he did you. He was bigger than me even though I was older, so he didn't need to. You're strong, Jasper, and you're boyfriend…he loves you. You know, what is ungiven freely is taken, but not lost."

She was looking at me intently, and I was confused. "I'm not sure what you mean, Alice."

"I mean, you didn't give yourself to that demon any more than I did. He took it, but that doesn't mean I'm not a virgin anymore. Until I decide to give myself to a man, I'm pure. Just like you, Jasper."

It all seemed lost on Charlie and Chief Taylor, but oddly, I got it. It made sense, and it gave me a hell of a lot of hope for the future.

"Alice, tell me the rest of it," I implored.

She smiled sweetly. "You have kind eyes, Jasper. I'm glad you finally showed up. I've been waiting for you, you know."

I looked at her. "Did you know this was going to happen to me before it happened?"

She gripped my hand. "No, no. If I had, I'd have tried to stop it somehow. They only made the decision right before they got into your room, and I had no idea where on the earth you even were. I still have nightmares about it."

Charlie looked at Chief Taylor. "Okay, none of this is a matter of public record. The damn file at my office is under John Doe. I haven't even put his name on it."

She giggled. "As if that keeps people from gossiping, but I don't live there, so I have no way of knowing. Anyway, James Turner raped me, and then when he was finished, he pulled out a pocket knife. It was a nice one with a mosaic handle. Unfortunately, he used it for bad. They said I did it to myself, but who, really, would carve something like this into their skin," she responded. She stood from her chair and took off the pink turtleneck, a long sleeved t-shirt, and a short sleeved t-shirt.

She pulled down the top of a camisole and exposed most of her chest. There were words that made me ill. "_This whore is mine_." They were in blue ink.

I stood from my chair and took off my shirt, turning my back to her and showing her my scar. "_This ass is mine_." It was in black ink.

We both redressed and sat down at the table just as the nurse came back inside. Chief Taylor looked at her and stood up, shouting, "You, out!" She gave him a suspicious look as she placed the bottles on the table. Charlie knocked them off and turned to her with a look on his face that clearly told her he meant business.

"You heard him, out!" Charlie shouted. She looked at Alice, as did I, and Alice was smiling brightly at the order.

The woman left, and the chief of police pulled out his phone, walking to a corner of the room. Charlie picked up the bottles of water, and it was apparent one of them had been opened because it was leaking. "Does that woman take care of you every day?" he asked.

"She does, but she thinks I drink that water. I don't. She also thinks I don't know her sister is James Turner's mother. I've learned how to play the game, Chief. Now, how are you boys going to bust me out of here?" she asked with a bright smile.

\\\

_**Hmmm… So?**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**I'm so happy you embraced this incarnation of Alice. I love her in this story. Thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. This one…it's one of my favorites. Enjoy.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

37. The Surprises of Everyday Life

##

If anyone had told me meeting Alice Brandon would bring a change in me, I'd have laughed. She definitely had her issues, and she might have been crazy, but to those she chose to open up to, she told things one couldn't dispute.

After I related the story to Edward, he called his mother, and when Esme Cullen showed up with a lawyer, well, things took a far different turn. The corruption Chief Taylor had sort of alluded to was brought into the spotlight by him, and Judge Carlson remanded Alice to Esme's custody as a "Friend of the Court," whatever that was. What it meant was that Esme stayed in Mississippi with her for several months and worked with her to get her ready to testify if they could bring it to trial.

The case was reopened and thankfully, there was still evidence on file from her attack. It was run against the evidence Seattle forensics had taken from Eric's bedspread, and it was a match. It was enough support that the Seattle District Attorney could name James Turner a person of interest in my attack, and he was arrested. He was also compelled by the judicial system to give a DNA sample.

I had to file for a restraining order, which I got easily, and well, things were progressing. Edward and I had sat down with our friends shortly before classes started again in the spring and I told them the story. After tears and hugs and nothing but love and support, we all seemed to move into a weird space where they were afraid to say anything to me.

I'd talked to Dr. Denali about it, and she told me it was to be expected because they didn't want to bring up any bad memories, and I'd just have to talk to them and help them get over it. She gave me a card for a support group of friends of survivors, and I made them all promise they'd go. I wanted my friends back. Over time, they all went, and eventually, they got there.

##

It was a Friday. It wasn't a special Friday at all. I was on my break at the bookstore because we'd been busy with the book buy-back that occurred at the end of the school year. I'd been working double shifts all week and was banking a fair amount of cash. My boss had already told me when I needed to come back at the end of the summer, and when I came back, I was going to be promoted to assistant manager. It came with a pay raise, so I didn't bitch about it.

Edward had been working at his internship and finishing up his undergraduate while making inroads into his master's program. His, Emmett's, Jake's, and Seth's graduation was the next day, and I was looking forward to it. Edward and I had been attending counseling separately. Dr. Denali was great and as much as she helped me, she'd helped Edward learn how to cope with my setbacks. He was…fuck, he was incredible with all of it.

James Turner had been extradited to Mississippi to stand trial for the first degree rape of Mary Alice Brandon. She'd finally found people to listen to her, and she was getting her justice. After the trial, he would do time in a Mississippi prison. I had a feeling he would become a very unhappy prison wife.

My mom and Charlie didn't agree with my decision not to push my rape charges in Washington, but Edward supported me when I explained it to him.

"_Look, another trial here might give him the chance to get an acquittal from a closed-minded jury because I'm gay, and if he gets acquitted here, then there's a chance he can appeal in Mississippi and get the verdict overturned. The jury there sentenced him to twenty-five to life, so I can live with that. I'm going to guess what happens to him in a Mississippi prison will be even worse than what he did to me. I just want to get passed it," I pled._

_Edward held my face in his hands as we stood outside the courtroom after the sentencing, and he kissed me gently. When he pulled back, he looked at me with a smile. "If that's what you want, then I won't push you." I nodded, and that was it._

The only unfortunate thing was that Laurent DuBois disappeared when James Turner was arrested in January. He left the U.S. before a warrant could be sworn out, and nobody knew where he went. If he ever showed up where I was, I wouldn't tell anyone. I'd just deal with him quietly. That was a promise I made to myself.

"Hey, Jaybird, there's a woman at the front desk pacing. She is insistent you help her. Bree's freaking out and Todd's getting pissed," Angela advised. Todd was the manager of the store, and he hated the end of the year.

I'd been typing into my laptop, which was where I kept my journal instead of in a book where anyone could find it. Dr. Denali had advised that it could be helpful to me in dealing with my issues, and as much as I bitched about it in the beginning, it had actually become a good outlet for me.

I quickly shut down my computer, shoving it into my bag and standing from the small desk. "Seriously? It's the end of the fucking year."

"Well, for you it is, but some people stay for the summer semester. I'm going to be working here over the summer, unlike you, slacker," she teased. She was taking classes over the summer, but I had a feeling it had more to do with a guy she'd met at a frat party. He was in a doctoral program, and he didn't take summers off, and suddenly, our little Angela was done with partying and became a responsible bookworm. I laughed at her about it, but to her credit, she'd raised her GPA to 3.95. I couldn't laugh that off.

I was taking the summer off because it had been a big year for me on many fronts. I was going to Forks for two weeks, and then I was coming back to Seattle for a summer job at Harborview as a peer counselor. Dr. Denali had recommended me for it, and since Edward was working over the summer and I could stay with him, I accepted it. It didn't pay much, but I was looking forward to it.

Emmett and Jake had decided to attempt the long-distance thing. They were spending the summer at the reservation, running a summer camp for kids, and then Em was going to North Carolina to do his certification work. I didn't know if they'd stay together, but they seemed pretty fucking determined, and well, I had a window into the future no one else did…I had Alice Brandon.

_Edward and I went to LA for the weekend after the trial in Mississippi. The case was fast-tracked, due to the way she'd been treated over the past three years, and after she testified and he was found guilty, Alice returned to Los Angeles with Esme. Edward and I didn't get our spring break in Hawaii because of the trial, but that was fine. Carlisle told us we could do it another time. _

_Alice was staying with them, and Esme doted over her as if she was the daughter she'd never had. She'd set Alice up with a friend of hers who was a great therapist, and Esme stayed out of it, treating Alice with the love her parents should have given her at the time of her attack._

_On a Saturday morning in early May, Alice and I found ourselves in the kitchen together, sharing coffee. She looked at me and smiled. "I'm leaving soon. I want you to know a few things before I go, and I won't be gone forever, but I've got things I need to do, so listen up, JJ." Her, using my mother's nickname for me was a surprise._

_She'd told me she saw me happy. She told me she knew I'd follow my chosen path, but she wouldn't tell me what it was, stating quite adamantly that some things should remain a surprise. She told me my friends would find their happiness, though it wouldn't always be what they thought it to be at that point in time. She also told me she and I were bound together by a tether that would withstand time and distance. She told me not to worry about her because she'd be fine, and she'd stay in touch, but she had things to do. _

_Her parting thought. "Not a bird. An angel, Jasper. You're an angel. You set me free." I actually sat there and cried with her holding me. When Edward walked into the kitchen, she kissed my cheek and shifted me into his strong arms._

"_Take care of him. You two have a very good life waiting for you. I love you both." That was the last we saw or heard of her because sometime during the day, she left without a word._

"Come on, Jaybird," Angela reminded, drawing me from some very heartfelt memories.

"I'll be there in a sec," I told her as I zipped my laptop bag closed.

I had a few tears on my cheeks, so I dried them. Thinking about Alice always made me sappy. I walked out of the back room and made my way to the front of the store, seeing a long line.

I went to the customer service desk where Bree, the new girl, was flustered with a large amount of books in front of her. She was sweet, but goddamn, the girl was stupid. There was a list of books we could buy back, and there was a price list. I had no fucking idea what had her so fucking upset.

"Sorry about that. So, we've got…" I trailed off as I began looking through the books. They were all finance books, and when I looked up at the girl who had them, she smiled.

"Are you Jasper?" My name was on my shirt, but I'd remembered Ang saying she'd asked for me personally. I was so tired of the bookstore, and I was looking forward to a change of pace for the summer.

"I am. We'll only buy back these. The others aren't going to be used next year, unfortunately. The total is $110," I announced.

"That's fucking ridiculous. I wouldn't stand for that. You can likely sell them back to Amazon and get more money," I heard a familiar voice behind her. I looked up to see Edward standing there in his suit and blue tie with a bright smile on his face.

"Are these actually your books?" I asked the girl.

She blushed and looked down, shaking her head that they weren't. "No, sir. He gave me ten bucks to stand here in this line," she confessed.

"Dammit, Danielle. You should never try to go into covert operations. _I never get a break_. You were supposed to try to barter. I mean, I gave you ten bucks, and who's to say that crackpot I had for macroeconomics isn't going to change his mind and use this text again. Why, if he does, this will be a gold mine. I made a lot of helpful notes in the margins," he protested, holding up the old text book.

I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled. "Sorry, sir, but some of these haven't been used in several years. I'd have guessed you were keeping them as reference books," I reminded.

We'd had an argument about the number of old texts he had he'd never even tried to sell back. It seemed he'd taken my complaining to heart and packed them all up, but it was too late for a lot of them, the jackass.

"It was worth a try. I'm cleaning out my book shelf because I'm planning for a roommate. I needed to free up space for his shit, and well, he pointed out I was hoarding books so I decided to try to get something out of them. What am I supposed to do with the ones you won't buy back, you miser?" he teased. The girl, Danielle, looked completely stricken at our argument.

"Well, there's always the resource library. Sometimes, they have a need for an old text in their reference section. Oh, but they won't look at is as a charitable donation, so there's no use to try to charm them for a tax slip," I teased.

"Damn. Fine, you skin flint. I'll take what you offered. Can I leave these other books here and you'll see they get to the proper place?" He was smiling brightly, and that smile made me quite happy.

I scanned the books and when I was finished, I placed the keepers in the box to be tagged and shelved, and the give-aways went into the bin to be given away. "Here you are, sir. If you'll just sign the receipt?" I offered him a pen, and he smiled at me.

He took the pen and signed the slip. He turned to Danielle and smiled. "He's pretty cute, isn't he?"

She giggled and blushed. "Yeah, he is."

"Do you think I should ask him out?"

"Well, do you think he'd be interested in dating a _guy_?" She was getting a little bolder, which made me laugh.

He turned to me. "My new friend, Danielle, seems to think you might not be interested in me. Is she right?" he asked cockily as I handed him his cash.

I dramatically looked him up and down, enjoying our banter. "Well, I don't know. Turn around and lift the jacket," I ordered.

Edward did exactly as I asked, shimmying his ass a little before he turned to her. "That should help, right?"

She giggled. "You told me you're gay, but what if he's not?"

"Oh! Damn. I hadn't thought of that. Do you think I could turn him?"

I laughed at that. "Yeah, what makes you think you could turn me?"

He looked at her and smiled. "Apparently, he's of the belief it's a choice. I get a gay vibe from him, what do you think?"

She looked at me, and I winked, bringing another giggle from her. "I think if you ask him out, you'll get your answer," she offered.

He turned to me. "Well, uh, what's your name?"

"Jasper." I pointed to the name on my shirt and rolled my eyes at him.

"Okay, _Jasper_. My new friend, Danielle, has decided if I ask you out, you might say yes, but I'm going to go one better. How about you move in with me…permanently? You were going to stay for the summer and then move into Alder at the beginning of the fall semester, but I can't have the love of my life doing that."

He turned to the girl who was surprised. "He's the love of my life, you know." Then he turned back to me. "I can't have the love of my life living in that crappy dorm. Em's gone, and it's just little old me next semester. Move in with me, and promise you'll never leave."

She gasped. "You guys know each other."

Edward turned to her and smiled. "We're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Thank you for setting this up, by the way. I like to keep him on his toes. Keeps things spicy, if you know what I mean."

He turned to me. "So, Jasper, move in?"

"Well, I have a few demands of my own before I agree," I stated. Danielle wasn't leaving, and I didn't care.

"Okay, negotiations are open," Edward stated confidently. _God, he was so fucking cocky…and sexy._

"Tonight, you make love to _me._" I glanced behind him seeing a lot of different reactions, but Danielle's giggle and clapping was what was foremost in my mind.

"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," she gushed.

Edward, however, was in stunned silence. "You stew on that, and, please move aside so I can check out some of these people before they begin a coup. I'll call you later." I looked at the next customer behind him, seeing a cute boy with a history book.

"So, you want to sell this back?" I asked. Edward was still standing there in silence, with Danielle looking between us.

The boy was looking at us as well, and when I looked up, a lot of people were looking at us. "So, you want to sell the book back?" I asked the kid again.

"Yeah, but I want to hear what the hot guy says first. If he won't do it, I will."

Danielle laughed as she poked Edward in the chest. "Wake up, dude. Your boyfriend just issued you an ultimatum, and there's some cute guy waiting in the wings. You better…"

"Yes, love, yes. I'll be home. I love you," he told me as he hopped the counter and grabbed me, kissing me like I was going to disappear. The applause from the audience was quite surprising.

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_**Oh, they were due some light heartedness, don't you think?**_

_**Thank you for reading. Just one more chapter, then a two-chapter epi.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	38. Chapter 38

_**Now, you're all spoiling me. Thank you for your reviews, and I'm surprised I have over 300 because I know slash stories aren't as popular, but you've all been so kind and accepting, so thank you.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**This chapter takes up just after the sweet incident at the book store.**_

_**\\\**_

38. Ghost Free

##

As I walked out of the stairwell at Hansee to grab my clothes for Edward's graduation, I heard a lot of noise coming from the end of the hallway near my dorm room. There were people drinking and hanging out, but there were boxes stacked in the hallway outside my room and the door was open.

"Dude, if Jasper's used to riding this, Cullen's gonna be a huge disappointment." It was Emmett, and I couldn't imagine what the fuck he was talking about.

"You dickhead. That's mine. Get out of my boxes, Emmett," I heard Eric yell as I stopped in front of the door seeing my dorm room in utter chaos. Emmett was holding up a huge vibrator, flicking it off and on while Eric was trying to grab it from him. That caught my attention for a moment until I noticed all my shit was spread out on the bed, on the floor, and on Eric's bed.

I'd started packing, but I wasn't in a rush because I'd been waiting to hear about Alder Hall in the fall. Hansee wasn't officially closing until Wednesday, so I was going to bleed out the time before I had to haul my shit back to Forks. If I got into Alder, I could put everything in storage until the fall semester. If I didn't, I'd have to find other accommodations…well, not any longer. All of that was before four hours ago when Edward asked me to move in with him...permanently.

"What the fuck is going on? Jake, get out of my underwear drawer," I announced, seeing Jake turn from my dresser where he was holding up a pair of my boxers my momma had given me for Christmas. They were black boxer briefs, and I liked them a lot, but it was strange to see some other guy besides Edward fondling my dainties.

"Nice drawers, Jasper. Well, we're almost done," Jake responded as he took the whole drawer and dumped it into an empty box. So much for organized packing.

"What the fuck are y'all doin'?" I asked. Hell, Eric was no better than the other two, pulling my clothes out of the closet and putting trash bags over the hangers.

Finally, Emmett stopped cleaning out my desk and turned to me. "Cullen is paying each of us a hundred bucks to pack your shit and haul it to the apartment. He already has your stuff for graduation and dinner tomorrow night. He's waiting for you. We'll pack this shit in my car and drop it off before Jake and I head to his place to pack up him and Leah. Now, get out of here so we can continue to go through your shit in private. I believe your ride is waiting out front."

I shook my head. I walked into the room and hugged Eric. "You'll be okay here tonight by yourself?"

Just then, Brady came waltzing into the room with Seth hanging off him. Bella was behind them, holding an open bottle of wine…no glass. "Hey, Jaybird. You staying for the patty…party?" Bella slurred and giggled.

_Oh, good Lord._ "Where's Angela?" I asked her. Bella was already shitfaced and it was only eight o'clock.

"She's at Ben's. Brady and Seth promised they'd hang out with me because I can't seem to meet anyone. I guess I'll see you on Sunday when Dad and Lilly come pick us up, brother dear?"

I laughed. She was as surprised as me to find out our parents were keeping company. We were actually happy about it, and we were looking forward to spending the next two weeks with them before I came back to Seattle for my job. Bella was going to be working at the outdoor store in Forks. I hoped she got herself under control over the summer and grew up a little because she was trying to live up to a party girl reputation, and I knew from conversations with my Mom that her GPA was suffering because of it.

Her father wasn't happy and had threatened to make her take a semester off and attend Peninsula Community College if she didn't get her shit together, but I knew she didn't want to. I hoped they could work it out over the summer, but I didn't have time to deal with that shit at the moment. I had a hot man waiting for me just a few miles away.

"See ya!" I hurried down the hall and took the stairs back down. I saw a girl sitting on a moped when I came out, two helmets in her hands. She looked familiar. _Shit! It's the girl from this afternoon. What's her name? Daria? Dana? Danielle? Yes, that's it._

"Hi, Danielle. What's up?" I asked as I looked around for a car.

She pushed a helmet into my chest and hopped onto the moped, starting it. I stood there and looked at her like she was crazy. "Get on, Jasper. Edward's paying me to rent my moped over the summer, so I need to teach you how to drive it. It's very easy." _Was she crazy?_

"Uh, hell no. Why would I get on that thing with you?" She had to be touched in the head.

She giggled. "I think you have a very handsome man waiting for you?"

_Oh, yeah! _Without any hesitance on my part, I hopped on the back, strapped on the helmet, and held on for dear life. She showed me how to drive the scooter and then pulled over about halfway there, putting me behind the handle bars. It wasn't exactly a smooth ride, but by the time we got to Blakely Village, I knew how to ride it enough so as not to kill myself.

We pulled up in front of Edward's apartment building, and I parked the scooter next to Edward's car. Another car started and pulled up behind us as we hopped off. I quickly turned around to see who it was, seeing a really good looking guy behind the wheel.

She giggled and handed me the helmet she'd been wearing. She leaned in, handing me the keys. "That's Chad. I met him in line at the bookstore today. We're going to a party, and he's giving me a ride to Tacoma tomorrow.

"Take care of Betsy, Jasper. I'll see you in August," she announced as she danced off and got into the Honda with the guy. He waved and drove off, leaving me stunned for a moment. When I looked at the building, I remembered why I was there, and I hurried inside and up to Edward's apartment. I knocked on the door, and when he opened it still wearing his suit pants and dress shirt, he looked all kinds of sexy.

"Welcome home, love." He pulled me inside, taking the helmets and placing them on the bench by the door. As we went through the living room, he kicked some boxes out of the way, cursing.

"I can't wait for Em to get his shit out. Anyway, how was the rest of your afternoon?" He pushed open the bedroom door, and I was shocked. It was like something out of a cheesy romance movie.

There was a vase of flowers on the bedside table, right next to a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, both of which were new, the romantic bastard. There was a bottle of champagne in a bowl of ice with two short glasses on the dresser. There were lit candles, which made the room glow, and there were blackout curtains on the windows. They were new, but I had bitched about the other curtains he had which let in too much light, way too early in the morning.

I was a little stunned, to tell the truth. I turned to look at him as he stood opening the champagne. "Babe, this is all great, but if I wasn't clear enough, I'm a sure thing. You're gonna get laid tonight." I was half joking, and when he cocked an eyebrow at me, I could see he was dead serious. I dropped my laptop and book bags on the chair in the corner, and walked over to where he stood at the dresser, pouring us each a glass.

"Forgive the primitive vessel, but this was the best I could come up with on short notice. I forgot to get champagne glasses when I was at the store, but before our next celebration, I'll rectify it. Anyway, let's toast," he stated as he handed a glass to me.

I held up my glass and waited. He seemed to have something to say, and I was going to let him. He looked around and chuckled humorlessly. I immediately felt guilty for dismissing the scene he'd set.

"I know this all seems silly, but I wanted to do everything I could to make this as romantic as possible. I want you to remember this as something pleasurable, love. I want this to be as far away from…" he trailed off. He didn't need to finish the sentence, I knew what he meant.

I took his hand and led him to the bed, thankful to see there weren't rose petals strewn about. I looked into his eyes and smiled. "Edward, Alice told me something very important before she took off. '_That which is ungiven is taken but not lost_.' Until I choose to give myself to someone, I'm still a virgin. Just because they took something against my will, doesn't mean it's not still mine. So me, choosing to give myself to you, this is my first time. I have a choice this time, and I choose you." I leaned forward and brushed my lips over his tenderly.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes, seeing a slow smile. "You're a romantic guy, Jasper Whitlock. So, here's to a new path for both of us. Tonight's my last night as an undergrad, and tonight's the first night of you living with me. It's also the first night I'll make love to the most wonderful man in the world. Cheers!"

I clinked my glass with his and took a sip. When I swallowed, I knew we needed to lighten the mood. "You'll let me know when he's going to show so I can clear out, right? He'll likely get jealous if he finds me here." I smirked at him, and he started laughing, which was exactly what I wanted.

"You're a smartass. Come on, let's take this and have a soak. No wonder Heidi liked this room. That tub is pretty damn great." I followed him to the en suite and we undressed each other. There were lit candles in the room as well, and the tub was full of bubbles. He hurried back to the bedroom and grabbed the bottle of champagne, bringing it into the bathroom, and we climbed into a nice warm bath.

We were facing each other, and he had a sexy smile on his handsome face. He refilled our glasses and put the bottle on the floor next to the tub. "So, Mom and Dad got here earlier today, and Kate and Garrett are coming in sometime overnight. She told me she's got a few sketches for you to look at while they're here. It's a place to start, right?"

Both Carlisle and Edward had spoken to her about the tattoo I wanted, and Edward had given her measurements of how big it needed to be. I'd told him about Alice's suggestion of angel wings, my face glowing the whole time, and he'd given her a few ideas to see what she'd come up with. He said she was excited at the challenge, and promised she'd send something.

"Sure, babe. So, you need to explain a few things to me," I prompted, remembering the people in my room packing my shit and then the scooter I apparently had at my disposal over the summer.

"Can I take a pass on that stuff tonight? I'm trying to seduce my boyfriend, and those trivial things will only get in the way of the astounding pleasure I'm about to bring to the table," he teased, straight-faced.

I laughed. "You're settin' the bar pretty high there, hot shot."

"Well, I've always been an overachiever, Jasper. My GPA speaks for itself," he boasted. Fucker had a 4.0, so he wasn't actually talking out of his ass.

"Oh, you're an academic all right. I'm curious if you can put that knowledge to practical use."

He downed his glass of champagne and pointed to mine, which I downed as well. He put the glasses on the floor with the bottle, and took my hand, pulling me toward him until I was straddling his lap. I beat down the bubbles between us and rested my hands on his shoulders as his slipped behind my back, settling on my ass.

We'd experimented with his fingers inside me and even the plug I'd given him for Christmas while he expertly sucked my cock. I found pleasure in the sensation of having something in my ass, but I knew he was nervous about taking the next step…actual sex. For reasons I wasn't entirely sure about, I wasn't nervous at all. If anything, I was fucking needy.

"So, Cullen, you're finally going to deflower me? Should I say any last words while I'm still a virgin?" I teased.

His fingers slipped down the crease and teased my entrance, just circling it, not breeching it. "Hmmm. Last words for your virginity. Uh, thank you for holding onto it until I came along and thank you very fucking much for taking the step with me. I promise to be gentle and respectful. Loving and tender. I'll remember it the rest of our lives, and I feel honored," he whispered as his other hand settled on my neck and caressed my jaw, pulling me forward to kiss my throat and gently suck. Not enough to leave a mark, thankfully, because I'd be seeing his parents tomorrow.

"Oh, God, that feels so fucking good. Don't get all girlie on me. I expect to go to sleep with a happy smile on my face you put there with this," I whispered as I kissed his neck and grabbed his hard cock. He jumped a bit and I laughed.

"I know you can get all gooey about this, but really, I want you to fuck me. I do believe I've fucked you enough. This is the beginning of a beautiful reciprocation," I teased.

Without any help from me, he stood from the water with me in his arms, both of us covered in suds. He quickly turned on the shower and we rinsed off after he finally put me down.

Towels were grabbed. The champagne bottle was flipped over, which he decided he'd clean up later, and I was quickly dragged to the bed, which was hastily unmade. He climbed in, pulling me after him and settling me in a kneeling position as he scrambled. "Stay." Where the hell was I gonna go? I was about to get laid, for crap's sake.

He turned back to me and looked at me with his nerves on full display. "I, uh, I had an idea. You game? I'll lie down on my back and you can straddle my shoulders while I suck your cock and get you ready. I think you'll be relaxed if…"

I chuckled. "God, less talking and more sucking," I told him as I shoved him on his back and did exactly what he suggested.

My cock sunk into his throat as finger number two entered me. We'd been that far before, and when I pushed back on him, fucking myself on his hand, he added number three, which we'd done in the past as well.

I was on the brink, and I didn't want to come in his mouth, though I did love it when he swallowed around the head of my cock. I pulled out and looked down from my place over him, holding onto the headboard.

"Now, Edward," I ordered.

He grabbed a condom as I scooted down his body. I took the condom from him and slipped it over that glorious piece of man meat he was sporting between his legs. I grabbed the lube and slicked him up, and I looked into his eyes.

"So?" I was leaving it up to him how we proceeded from there.

"Anyway you want it," he told me, which brought that damn _Journey_ song into my head.

"You sure?" I asked as I stroked my cock lazily.

He was watching me and licking his lips. "Yes, please."

I moved up over him and placed one hand on his gorgeous chest as I moved his cock to my entrance. I took a deep breath and sunk down slowly, feeling the head breach the ring of muscle. I stalled for a few seconds, and then pushed down a bit more, slowly proceeding until he was inside me and my ass was resting on his hips. I started to move, but he stopped me.

My eyes were closed, but when he stopped me, I opened them and took in the agonized look on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked. He took my hands from his chest and held them, lacing our fingers together as he guided my hands to rest on each side of his head, effectively allowing me to pin him to the mattress.

"I'd put this out of my mind as a possibility, love. I certainly don't want to shoot off so quickly, and goddamn, if I'm not about to. If you could have a little mercy on me and give me a minute, I'd appreciate it," he told me as his hands clenched mine.

I laughed, and he gasped. "Sit still, Jasper."

I leaned forward slowly, kissing his lips. "I love you, roomie." We continued to kiss for several minutes as I remained perched on top of him. Finally, he pushed back against my hands, and when I pulled away and looked at him, he smiled at me. "All yours, love."

I slowly squirmed on him and began to move off and then back on him, truly enjoying the feel of him inside me. I blocked out everything but the pleasure and I continued to ride him. I let go of his hands, and placed them on my back, which I knew he was still hesitant to touch, but this was my new start, and there weren't going to be any places off limits to him. Not after tonight.

"Jasper, God, it feels so fucking good," he moaned as I leaned forward and kissed my way over his collarbone, still slowly moving on him. It felt really good, but I knew it could feel better if he hit that spot inside me that I'd hit inside him.

"How, _fuck_, how do I get you to…" I began, feeling him stroke up for the first time. The friction of my cock against his abs felt really fucking good.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around me. He looked into my eyes and smiled. "I know what you want, and if you'll allow me, I'll give you what you need." I nodded.

He moved my hands from his shoulders and raised his legs behind me until I was resting against them. He pulled my legs until my feet were resting on the mattress, and he scooted up until he was resting against the headboard. He positioned his hands on my hips, and began moving me on him, which felt in-fucking –credible.

His hard cock was hitting my prostate, and I was stunned silent, well, except for the inaudible nonsense coming out of my mouth. A lot of the words were curses at the feeling he was bringing forth, and a lot of them were just moans, but I began moving on him to ensure he hit that spot every time.

When his hands covered my cock, I'd almost forgotten about that poor bastard. His hands were slick, and it felt amazing. "Gah," I gasped as the duel sensations.

I moved harder on him, and he thrust up into me, not stopping his hands at all. "Fuck, baby, I'm about to come," I gasped.

"Thank God, because I'm at the end of my control. I want you to cover my chest with your come," he whispered. That was all I had to hear before I shot off on his chest, just as he'd asked.

I continued to move on him, shifting my position and moving harder and faster. "Fuck, Jasper, yes, just like…shit, I'm…" I felt him pulse inside me, and heard the heavy breathing coming from him as he pulled me down and kissed me hungrily.

Edward Cullen had given me something I never thought I'd get. He'd shown me love and tenderness as he accepted what I had to give him. _Me_. He'd tried to be gentle, taking in all of the baggage I pulled behind me, but as I thought about it, snuggled into his chest after a wonderful shower, a few truths came to mind.

I realized he'd helped me unload a lot of the bags from the proverbial luggage cart I'd pulled behind me these last eight months.

He'd been patient in everything regarding our relationship after I was raped. He hadn't run away, even when I tried to push him. He stayed.

He'd been supportive of all the shit I'd endured regarding the aftermath.

He'd gone through counseling to learn how to deal with my bullshit, on top of school and a job.

He'd embraced my mother and given me another mother and father in return.

Alice Brandon was right. That which was ungiven was taken but it wasn't lost. Edward had been grateful when I gave myself to him, finally. For me, he'd waited, and I'd never forget it.

Maybe we'd have our ups and downs, but there was a bond with him I'd never share with anyone else. I'd given my heart to him months ago, as he'd given his, and our future was bright. The last bricks in the wall had been torn down. I was free of the ghosts. I was finally free.

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_**Ah! I love these guys. This is the end of the regular chaps, and the Epis move forward in time. I thank you all for your reviews and rec's and the love you've shown this story.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	39. Chapter 39

_**Thank you all so much for your love of this story. I love it as well, and I hate to see it end. I hope I do it justice in your eyes.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow and twist them into a little bit of a different sitch… : )**_

_**\\\**_

39. Epilogue – Pt. 1

##

_Five Years Later_

I woke up, sore as hell. I looked around, finding my partner, Peter, asleep in the chair next to the bed. His neck was craned awkwardly, and I knew when he woke up, he was going to be in pain, though not as much as me.

I moved a little, feeling the ache in my shoulder, and it all came back to me. The traffic stop…the kid…the gunshot…the chase. That was when I reached up and touched my shoulder, feeling the thick bandage.

What started as a simple traffic stop for a blown tail light ended horribly. It wasn't as if it was a surprise because every time I walked out of my house, I knew it was a possibility, but every night when I got home safe and sound, I thanked the heavens.

"Pete," I croaked. His eyes shot open, and he smiled widely.

"You son-of-a-bitch. I told you, I fucking told you to wait for back-up. Will you ever listen to me?"

I laughed. He thought I had a death wish, but when I walked up to that car and saw a kid in the back seat, tied up nonetheless, I lost my shit. I tried to pull the guy out of the car through the window, but he shot me and sped away. I got back into the car and called it in, but we were flying blind, really. There wasn't even an amber alert for a missing child, but I knew shit wasn't right. Call it gut instinct, but I knew it. I remembered running back to the car and yelling at Pete to drive, me bleeding and all, and, thankfully, he did.

I'd only been on the force for two years, but over time, I'd learned to follow my gut. The GSW to my shoulder was my first real injury, and if the kid was okay, I'd be fine. "The kid?" I asked quietly.

"Upstairs in Pediatrics with his parents. He'd been riding his bike, and the sick fuck gave him a lost dog story. You, my friend, are going to cause me to have a breakdown." He rose from the chair and handed me a plastic cup with water. It took it eagerly, drinking it down. My mouth was dryer than a desert, and I didn't know why.

After I finished it, I turned to him. "Tell me you didn't call anyone."

He laughed. "You're shitting me, right? They fished a nine slug out of your shoulder and had to transfuse your ass. You were fucking unconscious by the time...fuck, Jasper they called your emergency contact before they took you into surgery. I didn't even have a chance to decide whether to do it or not, but you're in deep shit."

Okay, well, I figured that much. "The perp?"

"Oh, he couldn't run after the crash. The airbag knocked his ass out. He's somewhere here under lock and key. You pulled the kid out before you crashed from loss of blood. Will you _never_ listen to me when I say we need backup? Thankfully, the bus wasn't far away. You _will_ be the death of me, Jasper," he bitched.

I heard a deep laugh as the door opened, and I turned to see the familiar face. There was the sexy scruff and the rumpled suit. The tie was gone, but he still looked sexy as hell. The hair was a mess, as per usual. Time had been quite good to him.

"Oh, talk to my doctor about the bleeding ulcer I have because my _husband_ will walk up on any fucking situation without one minute's regard for his safety. Charlotte's in the waiting room, Pete. Thanks for sitting with him," Edward remarked as he sat down on the bed next to me. I heard a womanly giggle and guessed he'd been flirting with a nurse. It was his typical M.O.

"Now, I was just doing my job," I began my defense. He laughed. Yeah, it was weak at best.

"If you wanted me home from London, all you had to do was say so, Jasper. I told you…I told you I'd only go do this deal if you were okay with it. You said you were. You didn't give me any sign you'd become a psycho over the two weeks I was gone."

I laughed. "Did you get it done?"

"I got the biggest hurdle crossed. I left the underlings to deal with the details, but I was going to hang around to make sure things were finished. Imagine how it was to get that fucking message when I was in a goddamn meeting." He even put up his pinky and thumb to his ear for emphasis like he was on the phone.

"_Edward, this is Cara at dispatch. Jasper was shot. He's at Harborview and they need to perform emergency surgery. They need you to call and give consent. Uh, it's midnight here. It's Cara at SPD."_

I sighed, only beginning to imagine how it would feel on the other end of the call. "I'm sorry. I didn't think the fuck would shoot me when I walked up on the car, okay? Babe, he had a _kid_ in the car, tied up in the backseat. You can't expect me to just walk away from that," I continued my defense.

He ran his hand through my short hair and sighed. "I really miss the long hair, you know. I mean, the uniform is sexy as hell, but those curls you had back in college, yeah, they got me hard the minute you walked up."

I reached to the front of his pants and ran my hand over his cock, feeling it hard. I laughed. "It doesn't seem as if my hair makes much difference."

He grabbed my hand and leaned forward to kiss my lips gently as he placed my hand on his chest, just over his heart. I'd missed him so much. Two weeks was a long fucking time in our world, as I saw it. All of the changes in my life had been incredible.

We got married my junior year of college when same sex marriage became legal in Washington State. He was finished with his masters and had a great job, and I was still working at the book store. When he asked me, it knocked me on my ass.

"_Hey, I have a three day holiday coming up. I happen to know that UDub observes the holiday as well. I'm taking you away," he announced as I plated spaghetti and meatballs. My cooking skills had improved considerably, and with him working full time, I went to class, managed the book store, and took care of him. It was pretty amazing, our simple life._

"_Well, by all means, what exactly entails a Veteran's Day celebration...I mean, since neither of us are veterans," I teased as we sat down to dinner._

"_I thought, since the family is all coming to town, we could do something special," he stated as he poured the wine._

"_The family? Who? My mom and Charlie, or your parents?"_

_I pulled the garlic bread from the oven and sliced it, giving him two pieces. He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap, looking into my eyes._

"_The whole family will be here tomorrow. It can just be for a simple family get-together, but what I'd really like it to be is for them to be here for a special reason. I love you, Jasper. I really want to see you with grey in your hair. Marry me?"_

_He pulled out a box with two rings, and I said yes after very few minutes of contemplation. He was more than I ever dreamed I'd get. Why wouldn't I say yes? With dinner forgotten, we fucked like crazy. A few days later, we went to the courthouse and married…LEGALLY! I'd never regret it._

"Well, you'll have six weeks off to recover from this, and low and behold, I have about a month's worth of vacation time. Since we had a shitty honeymoon, I'd say we take advantage of the time. I don't care where we go. I just want my husband alone, preferably somewhere that doesn't require a lot of clothes and has plenty of drinks with umbrellas being served by some hot little eye candy. I don't think that's too much to ask," he issued staunchly.

I laughed. "You horny old man. You just want to trade me in for a younger man. You always did like younger guys. I was still wet behind the ears when you seduced me, you remember," I teased. I was only twenty-four soon to be twenty-five, and I loved teasing him because he was closer to thirty than me.

"We're coming up on our anniversary, you know, and you like looking at a tight ass just as much as me, so don't pretend you don't," he reminded.

I smiled. Yeah, it was time for that honeymoon. We'd been married for three years, and we'd had our ups and downs. He wouldn't allow me to do laundry anymore because one time…one fucking time…a red pair of _his_ underwear ended up in a load of whites. Unfortunately, it was all pink, and it pissed him off, but we got through it. I found some shit at the grocery store that helped with that sort of thing going forward, and hell, the make-up sex was amazing.

"Edward, it's August. Our anniversary isn't until November," I reminded as I looked at my left hand where his name was tattooed on my finger with our wedding date. It was usually covered by my ring, but I liked Carlisle's attitude…with the date right there, you never forgot.

"Where's my ring?" I asked.

"Oh, here, love. They took it off you when they admitted you," he told me as he pulled it from his pocket, placing it on my finger and kissing it.

"I love you, and I promise, I'll be more careful in the future," I told him. He knew it was empty because I had a job to do, and when he took me home and drove me crazy by hovering over me for the next few weeks, I reminded myself how lucky I was. He loved me without any caveats, and we were meant to be together. It was a given.

\\\

_**So, our Jasper became a cop! I love that aspect of the story.**_

_**One more epi, and it bring some huge closure.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	40. Chapter 40

_**Thank you for your support and reviews. This chapter could have been broken up, but there was no good place to break it, so I give you the longest chapter thus far. Check me at the bottom.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

40. Epilogue – Pt. 2

##

_Two years later_

"You and Grammy can go for a swim while Daddy and I go take care of some things. We'll be back in a couple of hours, and then we're going on another adventure. I promise you, you'll love it," Edward told Ruthie as I walked out of the bedroom of our hotel suite.

I watched the two of them together, and it always made my heart skip a beat. She was six. We were her foster parents, and we had petitioned to adopt her. It wasn't an easy road, but we'd endured the process, and our social worker, Bella Swan-Call, had been in our corner every step of the way.

After graduation, Bella went back to Forks and took a job with DCFS in Port Angeles. Working there, she met a guy, Embry Call, who knew Jake. They dated for a year and fell in love. They got married just after Edward and me, and she was the person who convinced us to apply to be foster parents. She was the one who introduced us to Ruthie.

Our Ruthie, she had special needs…Downs Syndrome…but we didn't care. While other people looked for perfect children, we met Ruthie at a picnic at the group home in which she was living, and we fell in love with her almost immediately. We were both humbled and awed by how loving she was and how her physical, mental, and emotional challenges didn't dampen her spirit and huge capacity to love everyone. There wasn't a question in either of our minds because over the years, we'd grown a fierce love between us, and she projected that same love when we spend time with her. She was clearly meant for us.

"Okay, Poppy. Where we goin'?"

Edward laughed as Esme walked out of the bedroom and swooped Ruthie up in loving arms. "I'll give you a hint, my little angel, we're going for a ride in the car and then you're going to see a few princesses."

Ruthie giggled. "What about Grampa?"

Esme laughed. "He's going to meet us there. He's very excited, but he had to take care of his patients. He can't wait to see you, Angel."

"I's not the angel, Grammy. That's Daddy. He has the wings," she stated firmly as Esme held her on her hip.

She looked at me and smiled. "You know, I think you're right. Now, let's get some breakfast. The sooner they go, the sooner we can see Ariel."

I laughed as did Edward, because any talk of Ariel got her attention. We both kissed her and Esme good-bye, and we took the drive to the courthouse in Vicksburg, Mississippi.

James Turner had filed another appeal, and it was time for me to testify against him. Alice, well, she'd been there every time his name came up on the docket, but his parents were wealthy and they must have had an entire law firm on retainer to get that fuck out of jail.

He still had a lot of time to serve, but the latest reason he was appealing had to do with me, and I was bound and determined he wasn't getting a new trial. He wasn't fucking getting out if I had to lie. I was a cop, but I'd compromise my principles if I had to in order to keep that fucker where he should be.

We arrived at the courthouse, and I was surprised to see Chief Taylor, who was no longer in office, waiting outside the courthouse. He worked for the State's attorney, but we'd kept in touch. He was a kind man, and he'd showed up at every hearing, just like Alice and just like me. I appreciated it.

When Edward and I walked up the stairs, he smiled. "Jasper, how you doin', son?"

I laughed. "I'm fine right now, but we're taking our daughter to Disneyworld, so I reserve judgment on my mental assessment until we get back to Seattle. What's the basis this time? You weren't specific in your call, and the subpoena named me as a person of interest. I'm not happy the State's attorney didn't call me back," I complained.

He motioned his head off to the side, and we followed him. "His attorneys are coming after how the DNA was obtained. That's why you're here. I know you don't want to tell the story, but the link to how we were able to identify him is a link none of his lawyers have ever been able to make. Since you didn't follow up on the charges in Seattle, it's not clearly documented. It's time, Jasper, for you to tell them what happened."

I knew it because when the summons was served on me at the station, I nearly puked. Everyone assumed it was just a case I'd worked on, and I let them think it, but Edward and I had talked about it late at night after our daughter was asleep, and he reassured me it was the right thing to do and he'd be right there with me. I just needed to hear it again.

"They still have the pictures of my back, right? I have a tattoo now that covers it all, so there won't be any dramatic moments where I take off my shirt and reveal it."

"Yeah, they have it all. You just have to tell them the story, and then they'll show the pictures I took. It's just the judge. There's no jury. His lawyers are going to hit you hard because it's a chance at an appeal. Just answer their questions."

I nodded, and we walked into the courtroom, Edward holding my hand the whole time. We sat there as the Appeal was read, and then the bailiff stood with a Bible at the judge's direction.

"The State calls Jasper Whitlock," I heard the attorney tell the clerk after things got underway.

Edward squeezed me hand, and I rose from the chair. I straightened my suit jacket and walked up to the witness stand. I took the oath, and I settle into the chair. It wasn't the first time I'd appeared in court because as a cop, I'd had a lot of time in that chair, but that time was different.

"State your name for the record, please," the State's Attorney asked.

"Jasper Josiah Whitlock."

"Mr. Whitlock, you are here as a material witness, is that correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Will you please tell this court your profession?"

"Of course. I'm a police officer for Seattle PD."

"But, you're not here in the capacity of an officer of the peace, are you?" the man asked.

"No sir."

"Mr. Whitlock, or should I call you Officer Whitlock? Why are you material to this case?"

I took a deep breath and looked out into the chairs, seeing the love of my life sitting there, nervous as fuck. I let go that breath and nodded to Edward that I was okay. "I'm a material witness to this case because I was also raped by the defendant. I had the evidence, even though I didn't follow through with pressing charges to an arrest. Once he was convicted here in this fine state, it seemed the State of Mississippi had things well in hand and I didn't need to take up any more of the tax payer's money to have him brought back to Washington to stand trial. I was fine with his sentence."

"I object! Mr. Whitlock never made a claim Mr. Turner assaulted him." That was his attorney.

The other attorney stood from his chair and smiled at me. "I submit a restraining order Mr. Whitlock filed and was granted. I also submit the DNA tests that came into play during the trial. Your Honor, maybe Mr. Whitlock didn't follow through with his charges, but this case rests on the evidence. If he hadn't come forward, Miss Brandon's case would have never been brought forth. All I ask is that the Court hear the testimony of Mr. Whitlock. This Court can determine whether it's worthy of having any place in this case."

"I'll hear it, but I'm giving you a narrow window on this," the lady judge told the State's Attorney.

"Thank you. Mr. Whitlock, you've never told this Court how you came to be in possession of this evidence. Please explain it."

I took a deep breath and then I told my story. I looked at Edward as the tears poured down both of our faces. For two hours, I answered questions as they probed all the gory details. It was horrible, and I knew in my heart, I'd need to sleep in the spare room because it would bring up shit I'd put to rest, but I knew in my heart, my husband, the most wonderful man in the world, would take it in and make the best of it.

After the State's Attorney got done with me, a recess was called. I walked out of the courtroom and grabbed Edward's hand, leading him over to the side. "Don't come back in." It was a statement, not a request.

"Why, love?"

"Because his attorney's going to get his shot at me, and I don't want you there for that shit. You've heard enough of it over the years, and unfortunately, you'll have to deal with my crazy ass for God knows how long after this, so please, don't put yourself through any more of it." I was sure Turner's lawyer was going to rake me over the coals brutally, and I wanted Edward nowhere near it.

"After all this time, you think I'm not strong enough to handle this?" I could tell he was getting pissed, but I actually had a trump card he couldn't argue.

"I know you can, babe. I'm just telling you we both can't be fucked up if we're taking our daughter to Disneyworld. One of us needs to be able to have fun with her. You and I both know she's going to be very excited about the trip, and one of us is going to need to be able to appreciate it and encourage it. We can't leave Mom and Pop to be the cheerleaders."

I could tell he hadn't considered what I was telling him, but reminding him about Ruthie would get me what I wanted. I was a manipulative bastard, to be sure, but I knew how important our daughter's well-being and happiness was to him and me, and I knew he'd agree with me.

"Fuck, Jasper. Fine. You don't play fair, love. Just, don't…" he looked around and leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "perjure yourself. I know you, remember. We haven't been together for seven years for nothing, you know. All you can do is tell the truth. It's up to the Court what the next step is." He kissed my cheek and walked over to where Alice was sitting.

I didn't know she was there, but I was certain she was sitting outside the court room so she didn't have to see the dick, and probably, in respect to what I was doing. She didn't know all of the details of my attack, and I knew how it affected her when she had to tell her story. I loved her for honoring my privacy.

I was about to walk down the corridor to greet her when a young woman I'd seen sitting behind the State's Attorney bustled out. "Officer Whitlock, they're ready for you again. Remember, sir, just answer the questions in as few words as possible, and try not to lose your temper." Yeah, that might have happened a time or two over the years when I'd gone to hearings to support Alice. They knew my temper, and I knew I couldn't lose it on the stand.

I went back inside, took my place in the box, and stood up when the Judge came back in the room.

After she was seated, we all took our seats, and I took a deep breath. Turner's attorney rose from his chair and picked up a folder, walking to a podium in the middle. "Jasper…can I call you _Jasper_, Mr. Whitlock?" _Arrogant prick._

"Sure, _Tom_," I responded sarcastically. I saw Chief Taylor sitting in the chair Edward had occupied and he smirked at me because I used the douche bag attorney's first name. We both knew it was a trick to try to put me at ease with him, and if the fuck thought it was my first time at the rodeo, Thomas J. Farrow, Esq., was about to be in for a surprise.

"You allege that you were raped by Mr. Turner, but you chose not to pursue charges in Washington. Why is that?"

"As I stated, I filed a report with the authorities in my hometown regarding the attack, and after the Court issued the compulsory order for Turner to submit to a DNA testing, I was satisfied to allow the judicial system in Mississippi to run its course."

"Run its course? Okay. Did you seek medical treatment for injuries sustained during this alleged attack?" The fuck knew the answer, but I guess it needed to be stated for the benefit of the judge.

"No."

"Were there any eye witnesses to this alleged attack?"

"Yes."

He looked around as if he was looking for someone in the room for dramatic affect. He turned back to me and held up his hands, feigning a look of confusion. "Well, Jasper, where's this witness? If you had a witness who saw the attack, why didn't you go to the authorities at the time? Why didn't you seek medical attention?"

I sighed. "_Tom,_ I grew up in a small town where people didn't do such horrible things to other people. I was eighteen at the time, new to college. I was too embarrassed and confused by what had happened to think coherently. I wanted to put the matter behind me and try to be a normal college kid. At the time, I thought that was the best course of action to allow the sentence in Mississippi to stand without extraditing him to Washington to pursue my charges."

"Where's your witness?"

"When Turner was picked up in Seattle, the other guy fled the country. He's never returned as far as I'm aware."

I was really starting to get pissed off. "If this witness was a friend of yours, why would he flee the country?"

"He wasn't a friend, he was an accomplice. He and Turner both raped me."

"Did you see both men in the room with you? How do you know it wasn't this alleged mystery man who did the alleged act?"

I took a sip of water. This was the point where things could go against me, and I hated it. "I didn't see who did what. I was on my stomach, tied to my bed, with a pillow case over my head during the attack. My mouth was also taped shut, so I couldn't even scream."

"You mean to tell this Court you didn't even see your attacker? Jasper, how can you be sure Mr. Turner was your attacker? Did he tell you his name while your vision was impaired?"

I was so done with this shit. "No, but he did speak, and I recognized his voice. We were roommates at the beginning of the year, and after he attacked me in the shower room…"

"I object, Your Honor. There's no evidence to support that my client attacked Mr. Whitlock at any time."

"Your Honor, there is DNA evidence that Mr. Turner attacked Mr. Whitlock in the dorm room after he was moved to another dorm. There is a report from Student Housing that Mr. Whitlock requested to have Mr. Turner reassigned due to incompatibility. It's Exhibit 6," the prosecutor proffered. The Judge leafed through the stack of documents the State had submitted and pulled out a copy of something, reading through it.

I sat there waiting, and finally, the judge looked up. "Since we're not here to take up anything other than the DNA evidence, I'm not going to take into consideration a previous attack except the one in question. The witness is instructed to stick to the matter at hand."

Farrow seemed smug, and the State's Attorney seemed befuddled. "Okay, back to the fact you didn't see your attacker. How do you know it was Mr. Turner who purported the alleged attack?"

"As I said, he spoke in my ear as he was lying on top of me before he raped me."

"Jasper, it's still okay if I call you _Jasper_, right?"

"Yes, _Tom_."

"What's your sexual orientation?" I saw the State's Attorney jump up from his seat and shout out his objection basing it on the fact my sexual orientation wasn't relevant under the circumstances.

"Your Honor, I intend to show the witness was interested in Mr. Turner for a sexual relationship. I intend to show Mr. Turner, a young, naïve man from our fair city, was seduced by Mr. Whitlock into a BDSM scenario wherein Mr. Whitlock asked Mr. Turner to tie him up, tape his mouth shut, and blindfold him, after which, Mr. Whitlock encouraged Mr. Turner to engage in rough sexual intercourse.

"This alleged witness has never materialized, and based on the fact there were other sources of DNA on the evidence that was submitted, Mr. Whitlock's allegations of an attack are unfounded."

I slammed my fist on the counter of the witness box, sending the microphone to the floor. I looked at the State's Attorney, and that stupid fuck wasn't saying a word. This wasn't going to help our case, and not only was it going to hurt us, it made me look like I seduced the man who attacked me.

Was God so pissed at me he'd allow that man to get off scot-free from the horrible crime he'd committed against Alice? That didn't sound like the God I'd been raised with my whole life?

The Judge kept staring at the State's Attorney as he scrambled, clearly waiting for that asshole to do something. Finally, the young woman who had collected me during the recess stood from the table with a very pissed off look on her face.

"Your Honor, I object on the grounds that the witness is not on trial here. Are we seriously going to proceed with trying a case that has never come before this Court based on new allegations brought by defense? Nowhere in the trial transcripts or the depositions in the case Miss Brandon brought was it ever alleged that Mr. Whitlock participated in any such personal activities.

"In further support, I read for the record from the deposition of Mr. Turner in the underlying case. '_Mr. Turner, what is your sexual orientation?' _Mr. Turner's response, _'I'm straight, sweetheart if you're interested.'_ Is counsel suggesting that Mr. Turner was untruthful in his deposition and subsequent testimony?" Thank God, someone at that table had something to come up with.

"Bitch, you wanna take a ride on my pogo stick?" Turner stated loudly as he grabbed his crotch.

The Judge banged the gavel and when I looked her way, she was pissed. "Counsel, if you can't control your client, I'll have him removed."

The judge turned to all of us. "Now, for the sake of time, I'm going to cut to the chase here. There is a police report entered as evidence wherein Mr. Whitlock alleges he was sexually assaulted by Mr. Turner. There is DNA evidence that places Mr. Turner and Mr. Whitlock on that sheet and bedspread, along with someone else who is an unidentified party to this action. Mr. Turner's semen was found on that bedspread. Mr. Whitlock's blood was found on that sheet and bedspread. The third-party's semen was found on that sheet. Mr. Whitlock's semen was _not_ found on any of the evidence. Will we all stipulate to that?"

Both sides agreed. "Thank you. Now, I've got some questions for the witness."

"Your Honor, this is highly irregular," Turner's attorney stated.

I could see it pissed her off, and I tried not to laugh. "Mr. Farrow, it is not irregular for a jury to ask for clarification during the deliberations, and since I'm a jury of one, I need clarification. I do not intend for you to attempt to make this Court adjudicate a rape trial not only out of its jurisdiction, but one that has never been brought before any court. Sit," she ordered.

That shut the fucker up. He sat down, and I turned to give her my full attention. I wanted this shit over as much as she did, apparently.

"Mr. Whitlock, I'm unclear on the timing of your turning over this evidence to the authorities in your hometown of Forks, Washington. If you had this evidence for months, why didn't you turn it over to the authorities in the jurisdiction wherein the alleged crime took place?"

I swallowed to buy myself some time, and then I answered. "Your Honor, it took me a bit of time and counseling to get to the place where I was strong enough to report the attack. The reason I reported it to the police in my hometown is because I trusted the Chief of Police there, and I felt comfortable going to him and telling him what happened. As I stated, I was a scared eighteen-year old boy at the time, and I was too intimidated to go to the authorities in Seattle where I knew no one at the time. If I was going to report it, it was going to be to someone I trusted," I responded honestly.

"When did you meet the victim, Miss Brandon?"

I had to tread lightly because I wasn't exactly sure if everything Charlie had done was exactly legal. I didn't want to get him in trouble, but I could see where she was going.

"The date of my statement when I reported the crime is November of 2012. At the time, Chief Swan logged the case as a John Doe to protect my privacy. While investigating my claim, he ran Mr. Turner through NCIC, and a hit came up on the database. When he found it was a sealed record, he contacted the authorities here in Vicksburg and spoke with the Chief of Police. Miss Brandon's case was a cold case at the time, and after Chief Swan spoke with Chief Taylor, we came to Vicksburg to meet Miss Brandon on December 29, 2012. Chief Taylor reopened the case at that time."

I prayed she was listening because unleashing that sick bastard on the unsuspecting public was a crime in and of itself. Surely, God wouldn't allow it to happen.

I continued my testimony. "As the trial transcript shows, Miss Brandon was under the care of the State at the time, but Chief Taylor was able to get a court order for us to meet with her in the name of solving her case. December 29, 2012, was the first time I met Miss Brandon."

She was writing on a legal pad, and she looked up at me. "Mr. Whitlock, what led you to believe Mr. Turner had raped Miss Brandon? Did Mr. Turner rape you, Mr. Whitlock?"

"Your Honor, I have to step in," Farrow whined.

She held up her hand. "Okay, Mr. Whitlock, why do you believe Mr. Turner was the same person who purported the alleged assault upon your person?"

"Your Honor, as the transcript of Miss Brandon's trial shows, her attacker left a calling card of sorts. He carved a derogatory message into her chest with a knife after he assaulted her. In this action, Exhibit, uh…" I turned to the young woman and she quickly leafed through the Exhibit list.

"It's Exhibit 12, Your Honor."

"Exhibit 12 is a photograph of the markings Turner left in my back after my attack. I have since had them covered, but in my professional opinion, it was his way of claiming us as trophies. Since Miss Brandon and I never met prior to this case, and we lived in two different parts of the country, it's too coincidental we'd have such similar markings on our skin from two attacks, taking place years apart…one while Mr. Turner lived in Vicksburg, and one while Mr. Turner was a former roommate of mine in Seattle."

"I object to the witness putting forth an opinion as if he's an expert on the subject," Farrow bitched.

"Your Honor, the State respectfully reminds this Court that Mr. Whitlock is a member of law enforcement in Seattle. He hasn't put himself forth as an expert, but it's the State's position he is qualified to speak knowledgably regarding a reasonable conclusion that the similarities of the very rare markings would lead law enforcement to believe the crimes were committed by the same perpetrator. Since Mr. Whitlock's case was investigated under a John Doe pseudonym with only the Chief of Police of Forks, Washington, knowing his identity, a reasonable deduction can be reached there's more than enough evidence to lead to the possibility of a repeat offense."

The judge nodded and looked at me. "Mr. Whitlock, you may step down. Thank you for your testimony. Okay. Does the defense have anything relevant that is not new evidence to submit?"

Farrow stood. "Your Honor, the defense has put forth enough of an argument to show the conviction of Mr. Turner was based on evidence which never should have been allowed in the first place. The fact Mr. Whitlock never pursued his charges to a jury, even though a Court Order was granted to compel Mr. Turner to submit to DNA testing smacks of misconduct on behalf of the investigating authorities.

"Mr. Turner is a victim of the process, Your Honor. Had Mr. Whitlock pushed forward with charges, his allegations would have been proven moot because they were based on his word alone. There was no witness that was able to be presented to this Court or any other. Therefore, I ask the evidence be found inadmissible, and Mr. Turner should be granted a new trial.

"Due to the fact Mr. Turner was never granted his Constitutional right to stand before a court in Washington to face his accuser with appropriate counsel, I make a motion the DNA evidence be thrown out. There's nothing in this case, nor in Mr. Whitlock's allegations, that offers any measure of credence as to why the lower court allowed the DNA evidence to be brought into play. Mr. Turner maintains the sexual contact with Miss Brandon was consensual, and truly, I'm baffled as to why a countersuit wasn't brought against Ms. Brandon because she seduced a minor. It is a fact of the case that Miss Brandon has been institutionalized due to her mental incapacity. That is a fact, and a matter of record, which can't be ignored."

"It's the right course, Your Honor. Mr. Turner should be granted a new trial. He was unjustly convicted of a crime he didn't commit based on circumstantial evidence. It's this Court's duty to overturn the conviction and grant a new trial." The fucker sat down, and I looked at the Judge. He'd just given a summation, and I hoped to hell she was going to allow the State to do the same.

"Does the defense rest?" she asked.

"We reserve the right to rebut any comments the State may make, but we call no more witnesses, nor do we have any additional evidence." He sat there looking very smug, and he looked toward Turner. They leaned together and whispered. I watched as Turner looked my way and made a kissy face at me.

In a perfect world, I'd be given three minutes alone in a room with that sick fucker. Unfortunately, we didn't live in a perfect world.

I noticed the State's Attorney, whose name I didn't remember, and the other lawyer conferring. They turned to Chief Taylor and he rose, speaking quietly with them. He nodded and sat down as the lead attorney rose to address the judge.

"Your Honor, since the investigation of Miss Brandon's claim has been introduced to the Court, the State would like to call one last witness."

"Objection! There's no one here who participated in that investigation, and for the Court to recess and allow the State extra time to find a witness is an injustice to my client," Farrow complained.

"Sit down, Mr. Farrow. Mr. Harris, this Court is hesitant to allow additional time for you to find a qualified witness to offer testimony regarding the investigation."

Harris was still standing, and he turned to look at Taylor, who nodded. "Your Honor, we won't take up this Court's time unnecessarily. We have a party to the investigation here in the room. We'd like to call John Taylor, former Chief of Police of Vicksburg, Mississippi. Mr. Taylor left the police department to join the State Attorney's office as an investigator before you took office, which is why he's unfamiliar to this Court."

"Oh, _Your Honor_! The State is going to submit that an employee would give a true accounting of the events? I find that…"

The Judge banged her gavel and looked at Farrow. "Counsel, do you doubt that the witness would testify truthfully under oath? I, for one, would like to better understand the chain of events, and if the lead investigator at the time is present, I want to hear from him," she stated firmly.

"Defense requests that its objection is noted in the record. We weren't given notice by the State it was a possibility, and we'd like to make a motion for a continuance to allow us to depose the witness."

The Judge was pissed off, and if Farrow couldn't see it, he was a blind jackass. After the female lawyer scrambled a bit, she pulled out a bound document and handed it to Harris. "Your Honor, former Chief Taylor was deposed at the time of the first hearing. He's not a new witness, and it's not new evidence. We offer his testimony as clarification of the time line."

"I'll allow it."

After John was sworn in, Harris rose and went to the podium, carrying the bound papers with him. "Mr. Taylor, please state for the record your full name and current position and your position as it relates to this action."

"John Earl Taylor. I'm an investigator for the State and was formerly the Chief of Police of Vicksburg at the time of Mr. Turner's extradition, arrest, and conviction."

"Big John Law," I heard from the table across the aisle.

"Mr. Farrow, if I hear another peep…" the Judge threatened. Farrow scrambled and whispered to Turner, who dramatically sighed and nodded.

For the next hour, Harris questioned Taylor regarding how the case was brought to his attention, how the evidence was handled, how the investigation was handled, and a whole bunch of bullshit I blocked out.

When it was his turn, Farrow tried to get him to fuck up his testimony at trial, likely setting up another reason to appeal, but Taylor was a smart son-of-a-bitch. He didn't waiver, and finally, the defense ran out of questions.

The Judge seemed to be ready to end it all, so after Harris finally said his little bit about how the appeal was baseless and a waste of taxpayer dollars, the State rested.

"I'm going to take a fifteen minute recess. _Do not_ leave. This ends today." With that, the Judge left the courtroom, and we all stood up. I walked out to the hallway to find Edward pacing like a maniac, while Alice sat knitting.

He saw me and hurried down the hallway. "God, how bad was it?"

I hugged him, so thankful I had him. "Actually, not as bad as I thought it would be. Turner's lawyer tried to insinuate it was consensual and alleged I'd actually asked for it because I was into BDSM. They tried to bring my sexuality into it, but thankfully, the State was able to shut it down. John actually got called to testify because the defense questioned the investigation, and now the judge is deliberating, but she only asked for a fifteen minute recess, so I'm not sure how the fuck it's gonna go. How are you, babe?"

He laughed. "I've been very entertained. Alice has been telling me about her tour of the state capitals. She has been to twenty-seven, and she has documented her travels on a blog. She's had a thousand followers since she started. She's currently knitting a sweater for a woman she believes she's going to meet in Idaho. It definitely kept my mind off of what was going on in that room.

"I talked to Mom. Ruthie's asleep because Mom took her to the pool for a while and tired her out. Apparently, a Barbie got caught in the filter and Mom had to get the desk clerk to retrieve it because our daughter was crying, and 'the young, hot guy' couldn't resist the tears. I'm afraid Mom's becoming a cougar." He added the air quotes, and I laughed, knowing how Ruthie could mesmerize anyone she met.

I couldn't help but laugh at his insinuation that Esme was a cougar, but hell, I'd said it years ago…if I was straight, she'd be the kind of woman I'd look for, and I wouldn't give a shit about her age.

"Mom's a beautiful woman, and Pop's a lucky man, just like me. I don't know how this is all gonna wash out, but I believe I'm going to be fine. Think Mom and Pop would take care of Ruthie one night so I can take my husband out alone? I've heard Disney's Boardwalk might be something we could enjoy. Drinks, dinner, night life. Any interest?"

Before he could answer, the bailiff came out and told us court was back in session. I stood up and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him into me and kissing him, not giving a flying fuck who was walking by and ignoring the "fucking fags" comments I heard behind us. I only laughed at them. After everything I'd endured in my fucking life, their words had no effect on me at all.

Alice stood, balled up her knitting and placed it in a bag. She took my arm and smiled. "Shall we?"

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, leading her and Edward into the courtroom. We sat down, and held hands, waiting.

"All rise," the bailiff ordered. We stood up, and I saw Turner looking at Alice making a nasty gesture with his tongue. I started to get up, but Edward and Alice held onto me.

"Don't let him get to you. He's going to go back to his tiny little cell, regardless of the outcome, and you and the man you love are going to go to the Magic Kingdom. I told you when I met you that you had the magic, Jasper. You've proven it time and time again." Alice kissed my cheek after she whispered to me, and I settled in the seat, grateful for her.

The Judge took her seat and we all sat down. She flipped through some papers, and took off her glasses, tossing them on the bench.

"Will the Clerk of the Court read the basis for the Appeal?" the Judge asked.

"Appellant James M. Turner appeals the conviction of first degree rape based on the evidence presented at trial under…" the clerk read.

After she finished, she sat down. The judge turned to the room and pulled out the pad, placing her glasses on her face and clearing her throat. "For the record, the only reason I took the recess was to do research regarding whether there was any way to overturn the ruling and retry the case."

I felt my heart sink into my stomach, and there was a bit of noise from the other table. Alice started to cry, and Edward clenched my hand, leaning into my ear. "Love, if this goes that way, we'll go to…"

The Judge banged her gavel. "Quiet. Allow me to finish. The only reason I'd ever consider overturning the verdict would be to suggest the State pursue the Appellant on charges of attempted murder. Unfortunately, that verdict plays with double jeopardy, and I won't risk it.

"The basis of this appeal, exclusionary rule based on the assertion that this collection of evidence was in violation of the defendant's constitutional rights is held moot. The evidence was submitted in a non-related accusation by a third party, unrelated to the underlying case. Regardless of whether a complaint was filed in that accusation, the evidence was entered into the system and there was a legitimate investigation based on the allegation.

"Once the evidence was entered, it became a matter of record, which the Chief of Police of Vicksburg wherein the crime took place, regardless of how he was informed, was able to use in the underlying case to solve a crime which took place in this jurisdiction. Appellant's appeal is denied." She banged her gavel, but she didn't move.

"In the interest of serving the community which elected me to this office, I will forward my findings, and a record of Appellant's behavior in this court, to the Board of Parole at the Mississippi State Correctional Institution, along with my personal recommendation that the Appellant be denied parole and serve the full sentence as handed down by a jury of his peers.

"This Court thanks the witnesses who appeared in support of the State's case, and the Appellant is remanded to custody of the jail until he can be returned to his incarceration at the correctional facility. Court dismissed. Mr. Whitlock, may I see you in Chambers?"

I looked at Harris, and he nodded. "I'll be back, babe." I kissed Edward on the lips and left him with Alice, following Harris and the clerk back. When we walked into the room, the judge turned and looked at Harris.

"Mr. Harris, you're not needed. This is a personal discussion. You did your job, quite sloppily, I might add. I don't know who that young lady was, but you'd better make sure you don't lose her. Out."

He looked worried, but he left, pulling the door closed behind him. She looked at me and smiled. "Officer, have a seat."

I sat down after unbuttoning my jacket. She took off her robe, and I was surprised as hell to see her in a Rolling Stones t-shirt and a pair of shorts. It was summer, after all, but hell, I'd have expected something else. I tried not to laugh, but when she laughed at the look on my face, I joined her.

"I'm, sorry, Your Honor," I offered after I collected myself.

"No problem. It's hot as hades out there, and the A/C is piss and miss here. So, this is strictly a personal discussion, completely off the record. You okay with that?"

She leaned into her desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of bourbon and two glasses, sliding one over to me. She opened it and poured me a couple of fingers before she poured herself a couple.

"To your health," she toasted. I tipped my glass and sipped it as she did.

She set it on her desk and looked at me. "Officer Whitlock, the State of Mississippi owes you a great debt. I reviewed the file extensively when it came on my docket. As crazy as that woman might sound, she didn't deserve what happened to her, no more than you. I believe your accusation that the son-of-a-bitch raped you because he's a seedy bastard.

"I'm curious about one thing, which is why I asked you back. Why in the world didn't you take the evidence entered into the record during the Brandon trial and pursue a conviction of your own? I couldn't ask you when you were on the stand, but I'm a nosy old broad by nature, and if I was your lawyer, I'd have shoved you into a courtroom and pushed you kicking and screaming."

I took another sip and smiled at her. She reminded me of Momma, and well, I couldn't help but chuckle. "Your Honor, I've worried on it for years, but it was more important that the Brandon case got a conviction. I worried that if he was tried in Washington for my case, he could get an acquittal based on the fact that it would be my word over his because I'm a gay man.

"If a Washington Court acquitted him, I was worried he could use it to get out of the sentence he received here. I didn't want to take the chance, so I was satisfied that the judicial system in Mississippi got it right. If he'd been acquitted here, I'd have pursued it in Washington, but my case was weaker, as you would well know," I explained.

She sipped her drink again and looked at me. "I saw you holding hands with an attractive man. Is he part of your support system?"

I laughed. "That's my handsome husband. He was there the day after it happened to me. He tried to get Turner to attack him so he could pursue charges against him. I was too weak at the time, but he's a bit older than me, and he was stronger at the time. Thankfully, it didn't come to that.

"We have a six-year old daughter we're taking to Disneyworld. She's very excited to see Ariel," I told her as I finished my drink. She stood, and I stood as well.

"So, you have a good life?" she asked as she took my arm and walked me to the door.

I turned to look at her, replaying my life in my head. There had been a lot of bad, but there was a hell of a lot of good. I couldn't say every day was perfect, but when I thought about watching our Ruthie eating toast as she smeared her glasses with butter while pushing them up her nose as we all laughed over breakfast, I couldn't begin to regret anything.

"I have a great life, and the fact you just insured that sick fu…jerk won't be getting out anytime soon, I can happily take my family on vacation and go back to Washington. Our daughter will start kindergarten in the fall, and we'll continue to pursue the adoption. I can tell you, I have a great life, Your Honor."

She laughed. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. I wish you and your family a happy future."

I left her and found my husband waiting for me. I leaned forward and kissed him. When I pulled away, he laughed. "Were you drinking?"

I looked back at the door of the courtroom and laughed. "She's a bawdy gal. Let's get on the road. We've got a princess to get to the princesses.

"I love you with all my heart, you know that, right?" Maybe it was the drink, but it felt important to remind him.

"I do know that. We've given ourselves to each other in every way possible, and we have a good life. Nothing is lost. With you and Ruthie, well, I could never say I lost anything."

Yeah, he was right. I hadn't lost anything. I swam in line with the shore, and when I found the break…I got to safety…in Edward's loving arms. I'd never be sorry about that.

_**Fin.**_

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_**I'm crying as I finish because I love this story so much. I know…slash isn't for everyone, but I felt these characters. I know it was tough at times, but I thought it was a story worth telling. I thank each of you for taking the ride with me. I truly appreciate it.**_

_**Will I write another story? I don't really know. I am a fan of the Twilight Saga, and I find the male characters strong. The women? Well, I've tried to write strong Bella's, but I get slammed for them, so maybe I'm done. I can't say for sure. Keep me on alert.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**For the last time…xoxo**_


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